MORE THAN A JOKE
It was dark in the corridor. Crouching under the Invisibility Cloak, James and Sirius crept down the hallway. Even though curfew wasn't for another fifteen minutes, they wanted to be safe—they planned on being out much later.
The prefects had already begun patrolling the corridors. They were on the fourth floor, where Snivellus Snape, the slimy-faced git who fancied James' Lily was patrolling. James knew that Lily was someplace on this same floor, and he hoped to pass her if they could, on their way to set Dungbombs in the girl's bathrooms.
"Snivellus looks jumpy tonight, doesn't he, Prongs?" Sirius whispered, smirking devilishly. James nodded.
"Think we'd better help him out with that?" Sirius grinned.
"OF course." James and Sirius pulled out their wands, and, thinking non-verbal curses hard, they pointed their wands at the dark-haired, sallow-skinned boy in front of them. The boy's robes caught fire with the force of the combined jinxes. Fighting back a laugh, Sirius muttered, "Funny. I never knew Impedimenta and the Bat-Bogey Hex did that together."
Pulling out his wand, Snape fired a shot of water at the hem of his robes. When the blue flames died, the ends were charred and tattered. James laughed as Snape looked, upset, at his robes. Although Snape was one of the only people he hexed nowadays, he would never pass up a chance for a prank, and when he got to pull off both in one night? Even better.
There was a crash from around the nearby corner; somebody had run into something, possibly the suit of armour. James and Sirius watched as Snape, jumpy after his robes catching fire, whirled around and slashed his wand through the air in the direction of the noise.
A cry of pain echoed through the corridor—and James knew that voice; it had spent the past five years ridiculing him.
"Evans," he whispered. Throwing caution to the wind and trusting his luck, James threw the Cloak off of him and Sirius and ran to where Lily was now lying, gasping in pain of the floor. He ignored the horror-struck boy behind him and crouched down.
The cuts were deep, and bleeding heavily. They slashed across Lily's chest and her stomach, the tears she was clearly struggling to hold in mingling with a cut that the spell had etched on her cheek. Without hesitation James had whipped out his wand and done his best to close them, but they were too deep and he'd never learned proper healing magic. Only the cut on Lily's face actually closed.
Her green eyes were fluttering. Without taking his eyes off of Lily, James pulled out his wand and pointed it in the general direction of Snape, who seemed frozen in shock and horror, and, James knew, remorse. Well, he should have been more careful. He knew Lily was on patrol. He should have been more careful...
James was not aware what spell he cast, all he knew was that he wanted to hurt Snape very badly; as badly as he'd hurt Lily, who was no longer crying, but whose eyes were slipping in and out of focus as James struggled to stop the bleeding in her chest with his hand, the edge of his cloak, anything.
Something silver shot out of James' wand, and Snape collapsed on the floor, slipping down and hitting his head hard on the stone wall.
"Prongs?" Sirius asked, watching his best friend crouch over the love of his life, desperate. "Prongs, should I get McGonagall?" James nodded, not speaking. The June air seemed to make it impossible to breath. Lily was hurting, and James couldn't do anything about it, which, he decided, was the worst feeling in the world. Period.
It seemed like a very long time before Sirius returned with Professor McGonagall. She swept James out of the way with her arm, saying, "It's okay, Potter, I've got her now." Despite his fear for Lily, James flushed. He thanked his stars that she hadn't said anything about why he and Sirius had been out of bed.
"The Headmaster will be wanting to see you both soon," McGonagall said, sealing Lily's wounds with her wand. "He will want to know everything that happened. Meanwhile," she continued, conjuring two stretchers and levitating the now-unconscious bodies of Snape and Lily onto them, "Potter, would you mind helping me take Ms Evans and Mr Snape up to the hospital wing? Goodness knows what spell was cast on poor Mr Snape, but..." McGonagall gave James a very stern, meaningful look, "I know that it was an accident, right, Potter?" James nodded.
It was a long and awkward walk levitating Lily and Snape up to the hospital wing. James spent most of it looking at her face—paler than usual, her hair limp and matted with blood at the ends, her green eyes halfway closed and her perfectly tickled-pink lips partway open in shock and pain. James wished that her eyes would open. He knew that everything would be okay for her if she would only open her eyes.
He wondered if she ever analyzed his face like he did hers. Did she look at his hazel eyes? If she did, what did she think? Maybe she thought that they were deep, or mischievious, or beautiful, or strong. Maybe she looked at the angles of his body the way he would watch the soft curves of hers. Perhaps she noticed his messy, untidy black hair the way he noticed her long, red hair. Perhaps. Or perhaps he was just another boy to her.
They set Lily and Snape down on beds in the hospital wing, and then James was dismissed as McGonagall called for Madame Pomfrey. He took one last look at the pale, slightly awkward (but in a graceful way) figure on the bed across the room, and then he left for the Headmaster's office, which he was dreading.
Sirius was already sitting on a hard wooden chair in front of Dumbledore's desk when James arrived. He yawned as Dumbledore conjured up another chair and motioned for James to sit down.
"Well, well, well," Dumbledore began, his gaze moving back and forth between the two guilty boys. "Tell me. Why were you out of bed tonight?"
It was a couple of seconds before James said, "Please, sir, it'll make loads more sense if you just let us tell you the whole story."
After a moment, Dumbledore agreed.
Sirius spoke first. "James and I were out of bed—it wasn't even curfew yet, mind you, not for sixth years—planning to plant a Dungbomb in... the girl's—in the bathrooms. And when we saw Snivellus—I mean, Snape—patrolling the corridors, we decided he looked a little jumpy so we decided we'd have some fun—which was completely James' idea-,"
James cut him off. "It was not! Anyways, so we set the hem of his robes on fire, which he put out no problem, but then we heard Evans—I mean, Lily—she had crashed into the suit of armour, see? And Sniv—Snape was really nervous and all, so he casts a spell not knowing what made the noise—I didn't hear the incantation—but, anyways, Lily screams, and we—I—run over to see what's the matter, because I -,"
James stopped abruptly. Sirius took the hint and picked up where he'd left off. "Well, because despite his spotty school record, James isn't a bad person. Anyway, so he sees Evans is bleeding all over—cuts on her chest and her stomach and her face, really horrible, and we're both freaking out, because the only cut he can heal is the one on her cheek, and she's crying, and I don't think she really took in that it was James holding her—she'd have gone berserk if she'd known... But all this time, Snape's just standing there-."
James picked it up, unhappy how much Sirius was giving away. "Like absolutely nobody's business, and he looks horrified, but of course everyone knows that he lo—that they had a falling out last year. Anyways, so I'm hacked off about Lily, because you don't just cast something Dark like that at a person! And so I'm seething mad, and I'm holding my wand, and something comes out of it, something silver, like a patronus—except it hits Snivellus—Snape, sorry, Professor—and he passes out. By this time Lily's nearly unconscious, too, so Sirius goes to get Professor McGonagall. And then she got back and tried to fix Lily up best she could, and now Lily and Snape are in the hospital wing." James took a deep breath.
Dumbledore leaned back in his chair. It wasn't hard to see through the desperate ramblings of a sixteen year old who wanted to stay out of trouble and not give too much away about his personal life. Professor Dumbledore noted to himself that he probably knew more teenage gossip than most teenagers, simply because so many of them had given things away while trying to avoid serious detention. He smiled at the flush in James' cheeks as he delivered what he probably thought to be a very obscure explanation that didn't give away that they'd been planning to put the bombs in the girl's bathroom, or that both James and Severus were clearly in love with Lily.
It took a long time for Professor Dumbledore to say anything. Finally, he spoke. "I am going to have to take points off both Gryffindor and Slytherin, you realize, boys?" James and Sirius nodded. "I'd have to say ten points off Gryffindor each, and then ten points to Gryffindor. And... I'll talk to Mr Snape about Slytherin later. Good night, boys."
James and Sirius took the hint and left the office.
The next day, a Sunday, James went to visit Lily in the hospital wing. She was awake, and propped upright in bed, reading an Arithmancy book called Numbers, Not Nonsense. She looked up when she saw James enter.
"Morning, Potter," she said, putting the book on her bedside table. "Thanks for last night."
James perched on the hard wooden chair beside the cot, pulling himself a little closer to the bed. "No problem, Evans." He leaned over her. "What's Madame Pomfrey say?"
"Well, apparently I lost a lot of blood—I hear it was something like seventy points from Slytherin—so I'm going to be okay, but I have to stay here drinking her mad potions for the weekend."
"Ah, well," James replied, grinning. "I'll come visit you."
Though Lily and James were on somewhat friendlier terms in sixth year, Lily said, "That's absolutely no comfort, Potter."
There was a long silence. James watched Lily; watched the rise and fall of her chest with her breathing; watched the darting about of her green eyes and the freckles on her face moving closer to his—with a start, James realized he was close—far too close.
And then she was snogging him. Appalled, James didn't do anything for a second. Then, once he got used to it, he was snogging her back.
Lily seemed to have to wrench herself away. Her face was frozen in a shocked expression. She put up her hands, shaking her head.
"Lily?" James asked, his mind still lagging behind at the kiss just moments before. Oh, what a glorious kiss it had been, too... "Did you just-?" he left the question hanging.
Lily looked shocked and horrified with herself. "I didn't mean—it's not like—we're not... like... you know? I mean, that wasn't what—yes, I just snogged you, and no, it didn't mean anything!" It took a while for Lily to break through her stuttering and get the right words out.
James frowned. "Is that what you're like? You can snog a person who's been fucking in love with you for six years, and tell him it doesn't mean anything! What kind of horrible person does that!"
"Look, James," Lily began. "It's not that I didn't like kissing you, it's just—..."
"So you love kissing me but I'm not good enough to go out with, is that it? Well, fine. If you're going to be like that, whatever. I don't care. I don't! I couldn't care less if you snogged me and then—then..." James' sentence trailed away. He felt flames of fury leap up in his throat.
"JAMES! LISTEN TO ME!" Lily screeched. "If you want to make a big deal out of this, than fine! Ask me out again in a month, I DON'T CARE! But I'm not going to just patch together a relationship because I lost control of myself and snogged you in the hospital wing. IF YOU THINK THAT'S THE KIND OF GIRL I AM, THAN YOU DON'T KNOW ME AT ALL! YOU HAVEN'T CHANGED ONE BIT, JAMES POTTER!" Lily's face was red and her hair flyaway with her fury.
James' eyes were wide. "I JUST ASSUMED THAT YOU MIGHT HAVE THOUGHT ABOUT HOW I WOULD FEEL—I'VE BEEN WAITING FOR YOU TO SNOG ME LIKE THAT FOR YEARS, EVANS! AND THEN WHEN YOU FINALLY DO, I EXPECT YOU TO HAVE THOUGHT A LITTLE BIT ABOUT HOW IT FEELS TO HAVE SOMEBODY DO THAT AND THEN JUSTFORGET IT! I DON'T KNOW WHY I EVEN BOTHER WITH YOU."
Lily sat in shock for a moment, her eyes wide, looking like she was about to either cry or scream again. Before she could do either, Madame Pomfrey poked her head out of her office. "Potter, Evans... is everything all right in here? I need to ask you to be quiet; you'll wake Mr Snape."
She closed her door.
James' eyes were wide, and he was fighting back a smile. "Snape's in here?" He chuckled.
"He heard all of that, probably," Lily confirmed.
James pressed his lips together to avoid laughing. All his anger and frustration had evaporated. Standing, he grinned. "See ya later, Evans."
Lily watched him go, a bizarre mixture of emotions surging through her. Fondness, which she tried to repress, annoyance that she'd been so stupid, and anger that things hadn't worked out the way she wanted them to. She wasn't supposed to have snogged him. Why had she snogged him?
Her mind answered the question for her. Because you love him, it said in its tiny, irksome voice. You can't deny it.