A/N: So…you may be asking yourself why I am writing a yobling fic. Well, I will tell you! I made a deal with lostladyknight that if she went to the doctor, I would write her a yobling fic. So…she went! So I'm writing her this fic! I hope I have done yobling justice, and llk, I hope this makes your lymph nodes feel better!
"Arrrre you ready for a fine night of dining and jousting?" Warrick asked Catherine, sounding more like a pirate than the medieval knight he was going for. Part of her was slightly horrified at Warrick's poor impression, but outwardly she laughed. Her eyes gave him a one-over, taking in his faded jeans paired with an olive green polo shirt that really brought out those gorgeous eyes of his. Warrick held out his right arm, apparently sold on the idea of chivalry, and Catherine hooked her arm in his. She needed this. Work had been getting to her lately, and she rarely took time for herself like this.
"As long as I don't have to use an outhouse at this place," Catherine replied as he began escorting her to his sports car. Yesterday at work, Warrick had extended the invitation to her for their first official date at Medieval Times Restaurant. Not only had she never been there, but she wasn't quite sure she would enjoy the "authentic display of equestrian skills and medieval pageantry" they boasted on the website. It seemed like a geek fest to her, if she ever knew one, but there was no chance of her turning down Warrick now that he'd finally asked her. "So, uh…there's no audience participation at this place is there?"
Warrick let out a low chuckle at her question as he stopped in front of the passenger door and opened it, set on doing this first date thing right. "I've never been to one of these myself, so I have no idea. You wouldn't be up for a little lancing?"
As he watched her let out her own amused laugh, Warrick secretly admired how her eyes lit up, even more noticeable surrounding by the darkness of the night. He could just watch her laugh all night, but he didn't want her to catch him staring. Not just yet. Instead, he grinned back at her as she pulled her legs into the car, and shut the door behind her. Her smile lit up her whole face, and he'd missed it lately at work. She'd been known to laugh and joke around occasionally with the guys, but she'd seemed pretty down lately. Now it was up to him to make that frown go away. It was his chance, and he didn't want to blow it.
About fifteen minutes later, they pulled into the parking lot next to the Medieval Times Dinner & Tournament Center. Most of the people heading in looked like regular date-night couples or families, but there were a few nuts that came in era clothing. Warrick just hoped they didn't have to sit next to one and hear their psychotic ramblings. They were probably those type of nerds that attend World of Warcraft conventions and play Dungeons and Dragons every night of the week.
"I think I might ditch you and pick up that hottie over there in the tunic," Catherine leaned in closer to tease him as they walked.
"Well, good, because I have my eye set on that chick with the bodice," he pointed to a woman about twenty feet ahead of them. She turned around, and they both saw that it was actually a man. "Woaaaah!" He exclaimed in disgust.
"Down, boy," Catherine put her hand on his bicep, as if to hold him back, secretly enjoying the task a little too much.
Not knowing what to do with his hands as they started walking in, Warrick shoved them in his pockets. He and Catherine had been tiptoeing around each other for years. He'd finally conjured up the guts to ask her on a date, and he didn't want to blow it by trying to hold her hand at the wrong time. Maybe if he played his cards right, they could hold hands at some point; maybe he'd even get a peck on the cheek. Warrick had wanted this so long he was afraid he was gonna screw it up, and never have a chance again.
As they entered, both were silent, comfortably, as they just took in their surroundings. Dozens of people had taken things too far, and wore some sort of period garment. A full suit of armor was available for purchase, along with dozens of period artifacts, lame t-shirts, and toy swords for the kids. Just ahead sat a throne, where guests could get their pictures taken.
"Ah! A throne that's not made of porcelain," Warrick commented, nodding towards the golden, gaudy throne across the lobby. The line wasn't very long, and despite the nerdiness of it all, if he was here, he was gonna go all out. "Would you care to join me?"
Catherine gave him a slightly suspicious look but agreed to a picture. "If this gets out at work in any way, I will personally hunt you down and have my way with you," she threatened him, quirking an eyebrow up at him.
"I'll look forward to it," he took a chance and flashed a wink in her direction. He swore he saw her blush.
About ten minutes and one goofy-ass picture later, Catherine and Warrick made their way into the jousting arena to find their seats. The arena was much like a football or hockey stadium – with an oval, open area in the middle, surrounded by about fifteen rows of seats all around. The middle was coated with dirt, and around the stadium hung various coats of arms and authentic banners. The lighting was slightly dimmed as they took their seats and got themselves situated. In front of their seats was a long ledge that wrapped all the way around the stadium, which served as a table. The stadium was divided up into six colors – one for each knight that would be competing. Catherine and Warrick's section had been assigned to cheer on the yellow knight, so they found yellow crown hats to put on. As Warrick secured the crown on Catherine's head, she laughed again – something that she hadn't done a whole lot of lately – and felt herself loosening up. Yes, this was nerdy and odd, but it was turning out to be a hell of a lot of fun. Warrick looked ridiculous with his paper crown, and she was sure she did also, but she couldn't remember being this happy for a long time.
The show started, and each of the knights made their entrances on their horses, all adorned in one of six colors. The corresponding section of the audience cheered on their knight, and booed for the other knights as the announcer introduced them. Catherine began to really get into it, booing along with the rest of her section for the blue knight. Everyone began to bang their empty plates against the tables, causing a ruckus of noise.
"You have sub par hygiene!" She accused the blue knight, causing Warrick to let out a short burst of laughter at her ridiculous comment. Warrick joined in also, telling the green knight one of his favorite lines from Monty Python's Holy Grail, "Your mother was a hamster, and your father smells of elderberry!"
Once the games had started, the waitresses came out and began serving everyone food, which included an entire miniature-sized chicken, vegetable soup, and herb-basted potatoes. They both ordered Cokes and began to eat their meals sans silver wear, because, after all, they apparently didn't have silver wear in medieval times. They ooed and aahed as the knights grabbed rings with their lances and threw javelins at a bull's-eye.
"Don't tell Lindsey I got to eat without my knife and fork," Catherine commented before taking a bit bite out of her whole chicken. Her fingers and hands were a disaster, despite using her napkin on more than one occasion. Warrick grinned and nodded as he licked the fingers on his right hand clean. Medieval feasting was indeed a messy task.
"My lips are sealed," he assured her as a small group of people in another section began to lead a trash-talking chant.
"Yellow sucks! Yellow sucks! Yellow sucks!" They yelled across the stadium. From the looks of it, the blue section was a large group of school kids, intent on giving their teachers a hard time. However, the yellow section wasn't about to sit back and take all the smack talk. Somehow, a chant began to be led, and slowly caught on.
"Ohhh-ohh-oh-o-o!! Ohhh-ohh-ohhhh!! Blue sucks!!" They chanted back again and again, getting louder each time. Warrick got into it, throwing his arm around, and even standing up at one point.
Catherine just watched him and laughed. She was having a good time, and she realized she didn't want the night to end. Part of it was Medieval Times, but as Warrick made her laugh again and again, and made her forget about work altogether, she knew most of it was the company.
As the jousting began, they all clapped and cheered for the yellow knight, who had done well in the games. "You having a good time?" Warrick checked.
Her grin practically said it all; her face was more relaxed than it had been in weeks, and she appeared to be having fun. "Yea," she smiled at him. "Yea, I am. Thanks for taking me out, Warrick. I needed this." Her eyes sparkled at him again, and suddenly, without either of them really thinking about it, their hands connected. It felt really juvenile to be so excited about holding hands, but they were. After all these years of nothing, a little hand holding was like winning the lottery.
"Let's give it up for the yellow knight!" The announcer boomed over the loud speaker, who had just knocked the green knight off his horse entirely. The yellow crowd cheered as the knight took off his helmet, holding it high in the air. As he made his trip around the arena, and stopped in front of the yellow section, Warrick and Catherine both squinted their eyes and took a second look. It was…it was Ecklie!
Both were so shocked to see their boss as a medieval knight they couldn't speak for several prolonged moments, as they gaped at the sight of their asshole boss, fully dressed in shining armor riding a white horse. How was this possible? It was wrong on so many levels!
Luckily, Ecklie didn't see them, as they were lost in the crowd. Warrick and Catherine finally looked at each other, mouths still agape, and promptly burst out laughing.
"I knew he had some kind of complex," Catherine said as Ecklie, the yellow knight, turned his back and trotted on his horse back to the center of the arena.
"That's some pretty decent blackmail if there ever was some," Warrick put down his piece of chicken on the pewter plate as he shook his head in disbelief. He couldn't wait to tell Nick about this so they could start making back-handed comments to him at work.
Dessert soon came in pastry form, filled with strawberries, after two of the knights had been "eliminated". Of course, it was family-friendly entertainment, so the knights simply walked out of the arena, instead of dying on the floor in agony. The pastry wasn't especially firm, and the strawberry juice easily oozed out and onto their fingers. Warrick noticed one particular clot of juice on one of Catherine's fingers, threatening to drop right off and onto her pants. In one swoop, he gently took her messy hand in his messy hand, and licked off the wayward glob of goo.
At first, Catherine was a little too startled to say anything. Pleasantly startled, but still startled nonetheless. A shiver jolted down her spy, and she knew she was getting goose bumps. Did he really just lick her finger? He did. He did? He did! When she finally managed to look up at his eyes, he looked like a kid with his hand caught in the cookie jar. Warrick wasn't sure he'd done something terribly wrong, or if she was merely coping with the shocking self-revelation that the love of her life had just licked her finger. He hoped it was the latter.
A moment later, he got his answer, as Catherine's eyes traveled to his lips, then back up to meet his eyes. Though hundreds of people surrounded them, chanting ridiculous medieval chants as grown men play-jousted, they were the only two people in the room that mattered at that moment. Catherine leaned forward slightly, hesitantly, and Warrick leaned in to meet her halfway. As their eyes closed, their lips gently met, both only applying the tiniest amount of pressure. Warrick pulled back to make sure he didn't just do something wildly inappropriate. He felt Catherine's warm (and unfortunately, sticky) hand on the back of his neck, pulling him in for more. This time the kiss wasn't so tentative. It was the first kiss they'd both thought about hundreds of times, sans the people in tunics and armor around them, and it was electrifying. Their lips mingled effortlessly together, tasting and taking each other in, as if they'd practiced it a dozen times before. Catherine's lips tasted like strawberry filling. A few moments later, their lips parted, and they just looked into each other's eyes. Warrick bit his lip and Catherine giggled, probably sounding a bit too much like her teenage daughter.
"I think I got strawberry filling in your hair," Catherine confessed, as she continued to gaze into his eyes.
"Hmmm," he sighed a little as he tucked a stray piece of hair behind her ear. "Am I gonna have to lick goo off all your fingers?"
Catherine heard a giggle escape her throat yet again as he took possession of her left hand and took another finger into his mouth. "If you do, I won't complain."
CSI CSI CSI CSI CSI CSI CSI
The next day at work, Catherine and Warrick walked together down the hallway towards the DNA lab when they saw Ecklie casually strolling towards his office just ahead of them. There, of course, was no sign at all that he was a medieval knight on his days off. Who would've thought a balding, conniving, asshole of a man could be into something so…hilariously nerdy?
Catherine and Warrick exchanged a knowing look at each other as they caught up to him, while he had a quick word with someone in the hall. Ecklie finished his conversation and gave Catherine and Warrick no more than a quick glance before continuing on his way.
"So, uh, Catherine," Warrick spoke a little loudly so their boss would overhear. "I'm feeling pretty lousy. It's almost like I have the plague or something."
"Well, hast thou been to the doctor?" Catherine asked back, and they both saw Ecklie turn his head to the side slightly.
"That's a grand idea, m'lady!"
Ecklie stopped and turned around in his place to look at his two employees suspiciously.
"Oh, hi, Ecklie!" Catherine greeted him. "You know, you should try a yellow tie with that suit. It would look make you look like royalty. Or at least like a noble."