Qui-Gon's injuries should have killed him. He was very fortunate to have survived. The surgeon droid told Obi-Wan this in its flat voice after mending Qui-Gon's poor, abused flesh. It offered a cool, comfortless hand on Obi-Wan's shoulder while he watched his master and dearest friend float silently in the bacta tank. Queen Amidala had insisted Qui-Gon remain here for his treatment and Obi-Wan had agreed, neither of them trusting his survival on the return trip to Coruscant. Her medical facilities were almost as advanced as those back in the Jedi Temple. Obi-Wan had no reason to worry.
He worried anyway. He stayed by Qui-Gon's side and would remain here during the long weeks of his recovery. Master Windu sent a message, kinder than his usual wont but firm as ever, reminding Obi-Wan of his duties back home, that if Qui-Gon had indeed released him as an apprentice, he must come take his trials.
"We'll be there," he said to the two holograms, Windu's tall figure and Yoda small beside him. "As soon as he's able to travel."
"You and Qui-Gon," said Master Windu. "Not the boy."
Anakin waited for him in the anteroom to the palace's medical suite. Obi-Wan expected him to sit impatiently, dangling and kicking his feet like the younglings in the Temple did. Instead he sat in quiet patience, hands folded, watching for the door to open. He looked like any other child from Naboo, dressed in the clean clothes he'd been given, but as he got up from his chair and walked beside Obi-Wan, little details asserted themselves. He was precocious, of course, and filled with a child's energy, but he walked half a pace behind Obi-Wan, not behind so much as mildly deferent. He'd have been taught since birth not to make his master angry with him.
This understanding filled Obi-Wan's heart with sorrow.
"Anakin," he said, a bit more brightly than he might have, "would you like to start some lessons with me today?"
"All right."
"You don't have to, you know." The child had not been given many choices in his life. That was typical for a Jedi trainee of his age, but he was not typical for any potential Jedi Obi-Wan had ever met, and the thought that he might have agreed to this, might agree to any of it, because he thought he must made Obi-Wan ill. Qui-Gon would know what to say, but Qui-Gon would not regain consciousness for days.
They walked together towards one of the interior gardens. The palace contained a handful of sunlit pockets, or larger spaces, each planted with a different dizzying array of flora and haunted by mists of insects attracted to the different varieties of foliage. Obi-Wan found them a garden with nothing but pink blossoms in twenty different species, from tiny ground cover to one towering pink fern. A small fountain bubbled in the center, sending a light spray out from time to time to offer a light irrigation. Anakin stood beside the fountain, mesmerized.
Perhaps they could start here.
"Meditation is the first key to finding the Force. Close your eyes."
Anakin obeyed instantly, eyes squeezing shut.
"Rest them, don't hold them tight."
The little face relaxed. "Now what?"
"Now nothing. Stand. Listen to the water." The merry tinkle was pleasant, but what must it be for this desert child? "Feel the energy of the water flow, drawing back and bursting out again."
He let Anakin listen for several minutes. Around them, small birds flitted into the garden, drawn by the insects. The sounds of the city beyond lay hushed behind the walls.
"The Force is in the water. It is in the birds, and the insects, and in you and me. Reach out." Anakin held out a hand and Obi-Wan said, "Reach out with your heart. Feel the Force connect you to the things around you."
He remembered this exercise from his childhood. Master Yoda taught all the younglings this first step, and Qui-Gon had used it during Obi-Wan's early days to ground him when his own pubescent hormone surges stole his peace away from him. He closed his own eyes, reaching out to the Force, forming a connection to the bright flame he sensed standing beside him, reaching back to the medical suite to connect to Qui-Gon in his deep coma. The Force surrounded them, surrounded the bird that lit on the edge of the fountain, head cocked as it hunted for shadow-cheepers, surrounded the gray, barely-visible biters that swarmed and dodged, surrounded the watcher behind them.
"I can feel it," said Anakin.
"Good," Obi-Wan said, opening his eyes. "Feel the connection. Move along between it between yourself and the fountain." He turned. At the entrance to the garden stood a girl. When she wore her formal robes, she used one name. When she was dressed this way, in the garb of her own handmaidens, she used another. Both were hers.
She turned her face away, embarrassed at having caught them. He held up a hand, open palmed, in simple acceptance of her presence. He tilted his head at Anakin, and she smiled. He was a sweet little boy to her, and very brave, and if they lingered here too long, she'd happily spoil him with little gifts out of her gratitude for his role in saving her planet. She'd spoil them all if they'd allow her, which was another reason to travel as soon as Qui-Gon was well.
With a careful wave, she turned and left them to their lessons. Obi-Wan turned his attention back to Anakin.
Anakin asked, "What did Padmé want to say?"
"You sensed she was here?"
"Yes."
His powers were already strong. It was little wonder once he'd learned to reach out with the Force that he would do so to familiar people. "She didn't want to disturb your lessons. You can ask her at dinner."
"All right."
"Would you like to try more?"
Anakin nodded. Obi-Wan led him back into the meditative state, focusing on the water splashing in the fountain. As he watched, the flow of the water changed, jumping up, the spouting liquid briefly dancing up in a helix before crashing back down in a tumble.
"Did you do that?"
Anakin nodded again.
"Good," Obi-Wan said, and he hoped Qui-Gon would be better soon.
They took their evening meal with the Queen and her retinue each night as soon as the sun set. Amidala was resplendent in her finery, pale with makeup and utterly formal, taking small bites of each dish set before her. Anakin sat beside Obi-Wan at the far end of the table, eyes watching closely for how to reach for his food, and needing reminders to chew with his mouth closed. Surrounding them were handmaidens, staff members, and several highly-ranked members of Naboo politics. The Queen was as distant and cool as the moon.
"We'll ask her later," he told Anakin.
Padmé came again the following day, as Obi-Wan knelt with Anakin in the same garden. The water was a perfect focus for the boy's attention and his thoughts. Obi-Wan walked him through the initial meditative steps he recalled from his own training. Padmé took a seat on a stone bench, not so near as to insert herself, not so far that she could not hear them. Again, she wore her more casual garb, not the formal dress of the court.
"You know, Your Majesty," Obi-Wan said after, "you are welcome to join us. I'm afraid it won't be very interesting to watch."
"Thank you. I'm sorry if I'm intruding. I find that spot perfect for my own contemplations."
"I see. Of course I can take Anakin to another location if we are disturbing you."
"No," she said quickly, and her tone was that of the young girl, not the brilliant ruler. "I enjoy the company."
After that, she joined them most days, taking her quiet time at the periphery of their work together. Jedi training wasn't of much interest to anyone without the ability to tap into the Force, and only of limited interest to little boys who'd rather be investigating the corners of the garden to find shadow-cheepers. The younglings Obi-Wan knew had discipline instilled into them early, and still found it difficult to concentrate on their studies when warm air and the possibility of games outside in the sunshine were too tempting. This garden was nothing but temptation.
After a while, Obi-Wan would end the lesson and let him go play. Padmé would emerge from her own meditation to watch, amusement on her face. She wasn't many years older than Anakin and had spent much of her young life in politics. Obi-Wan wondered if she'd ever spent a summer day tempted by the warm air and bright sun, idling over the mysteries of the deep shadows within a furled theedrose. He refrained from asking her. He had studied enough art to know how often the interiors of those particular flowers were used as rather uncomplicated metaphors, with their flushed pink mysteries spread open on a canvas.
Padmé asked Obi-Wan as they watched the boy at play, "Have you always had these abilities?"
"Yes. The Force is innate, manifesting itself as power inside some, but it resides in all of us."
"What would happen if you didn't train Ani in his powers? Would he stop being able to use it?"
"I'm not sure. It's different for everyone. Many of those who have the Force and don't join the Jedi as children can see their gifts fade over time, and many never access them at all. Anakin was always destined to lead an interesting life. If he walks away now, he could still succeed at anything he put his mind to. He'd make a fine pilot. He could marry."
"Master Jinn has already told him his destiny is to go to Coruscant and study to be a Jedi."
Obi-Wan wanted to say that Qui-Gon might be wrong, but he didn't want to counterspeak his master. "Perhaps it is. We all have a duty to our destinies."
"And what would you be if you weren't a Jedi, Master Kenobi?"
He smiled. "I'm not a Master. I'm not even a full Jedi yet. Now that my apprenticeship has ended, I have to return to Coruscant and complete my trials."
She returned the smile. "We all have duties before us. Mine require my attention inside now." She stood from her bench, back straight and her responsibilities settling on her like a patterned cloak. By the time she'd walked to the garden's entrance, her gait and bearing were fully regal. She turned her head. "I noticed you didn't answer my question."
Qui-Gon woke with a start inside the tank. The medical droids signaled to remove him, lifting him from the bacta bath with a wet slurp. He was brought to a post-bath couch. Obi-Wan greeted him there with a smile and a towel. "Feeling better?"
"Much, thank you," said Qui-Gon, his voice rough. The oxygen mask dried out your throat when you were in there for long. He'd want water soon. "How long?"
"Three weeks. We almost lost you." He kept the worried emotion off his face and out of his voice. He'd trusted in the Force, of course he had. Qui-Gon's knowing look told him he didn't need to hide his fears now.
"I assume we won the battle."
"We did. Anakin may have accidentally stolen a ship to do it. The rest of us decided to forgive him under the circumstances."
Qui-Gon's eyes widened in delighted surprise. "I told you that boy is a wonder."
"You did." He took the sopping towel and carried to the bin for later washing. Qui-Gon donned the clothes that had been laid out for him, pausing to rest frequently. His injuries were healed. Now he must remind his body how to use his own muscles. He could travel when he was stronger. They had time.
Qui-Gon did not join them for lessons, not yet. He was allowed to take short walks to recover his strength, but these left him too tired to consider working with the Force. Obi-Wan kept up the little training he'd begun with Anakin. They found other gardens, some with fountains, others with thick, lush carpets of vines surrounding shallow pools of water. Anakin was fascinated with water.
Obviously the Queen would know which ones they went to on any given day, and Obi-Wan did not object when Padmé found them each time, taking a place close by, sometimes bringing a book on a datapad to read, sometimes just resting in the warm sunshine, her eyes closed, listening.
"I want you to reach out with the Force," he told Anakin. "Feel the connection between you and the stones. Use the Force to lift the stones." Little pebbles danced in the air under the boy's command. Obi-Wan was pleased, and he also worried. Jedi training was meant to be so much more than this, but he was not equipped here to teach the history and philosophy that were the pillars of their entire system.
"We have extensive libraries," Padmé said, when he mentioned this to her at the end of one lesson. Anakin played on the grass nearby, examining the astonishing greens around himself with delight. The air around them lay warm and rich, redolent with the heavy scent of flowers.
"I appreciate the offer, but they are not the Jedi Temple library."
"No, we have a wider array of books discussing far more subjects."
He folded his arms in mock outrage. "Subjects such as what?"
"As one example, we have an extensive collection of romantic novels. Does the Jedi Temple have that?" He had to admit it did not, as nearly every adolescent Padawan had come to discover at some point. "Then you must admit, there are things he can learn here he can't learn on Coruscant." A breeze hushed into the garden from overhead, shaking loose tiny blue petals from a high tree. They danced in the air, settling like azure snowflakes on the brown braid crowning her face.
"He's not supposed to have those lessons yet," Obi-Wan said dryly, resisting the urge to reach out with his hand or his powers to pluck the flower petals from her hair.
"'Yet?' Does that mean you've already taken those lessons, Master Kenobi?"
He glared at her, but again in pretence, more pleased than anything with the casual familiarity they'd built. She called him 'Master' to tease him. He rather liked the game, but hoped Qui-Gon never heard her. He might appreciate the young queen's sense of humor and then again he might not, but either way he would remind Obi-Wan of the words "queen" and "young." He had to keep both in mind as he replied, "That's a Jedi secret, Your Majesty."
"The decision has already been made," said Master Windu over the holoprojector. "The boy is too old to begin Jedi training. His emotions rule him. You performed a kind deed freeing him. Be kind again. Let him live the life he chooses."
Qui-Gon would not be dissuaded. His voice was still rough, and even if Mace couldn't see the uncertainty in his muscles, Obi-Wan read the signs as clear as day. "He has more potential than the three of us put together. The Force put him into our path for a reason. He is the One."
"None of us knows what the Force intends for him, including you. All I can do is tell you what the rest of us have already chosen." There was more. Qui-Gon and Mace had known each other a long time, and Obi-Wan didn't pretend to understand all the references they made to one another, citing precedents and old writings Qui-Gon hadn't made him read, but perhaps should have.
After the transmission ended, Qui-Gon sat heavily in his chair. Arguing with his old friend had sapped the last of his energy. "They're not listening to me."
"They only want what's best for Anakin, and for you. You're not going to be ready to train him for months yourself."
Qui-Gon looked up at him with half a smile. "No, but you seem to be doing well on that front. I'm proud of you." He was always generous with his praise. He'd make a fine master for the little boy waiting outside.
"I had a good teacher."
"Yes, but now you're no longer a student. You should return to Coruscant. You can't move on with your own path until you finish your Trials. I wish I could be there to watch you."
"I've planned to stay here until you can travel. There's no rush."
A shadow passed over Qui-Gon's face. Leaden knowledge sank into Obi-Wan even before he spoke. "I won't be returning."
He fought back. "It's an argument. Nothing more. You can state your case in front of them again. They will see how much Anakin has already progressed."
"And they will still say no. You know that. I'd hoped during my absence that the Council would come to reason, but apparently without me there, they have set themselves upon this path."
He was right. There would be no budging them from their decision now, not by reason, not by appeal to the Force. Obi-Wan had a few friends on the Council, and Qui-Gon had many, and that wouldn't change one mind. "What are you going to do?"
"What I said I would. I will train him myself. We will take sanctuary here until I am well, and then we will travel together. I will teach Ani the ways of the Force." He sounded tired, and he looked much older than he had a few short weeks ago. He also sounded determined.
Obi-Wan remembered what Master Windu had told them. "What if he decides not to choose the life of a Jedi?"
"Then I will stay by his side and protect him. The day I met that boy, I knew my life would change. There is nothing I will not do to keep him safe. The Force led me to him, and I trust that the Force had its reasons." He patted Obi-Wan's hand. "I will have to ask your forgiveness. I'd planned to watch your trials. I'd hoped to stay with you and work with you as an equal now that you've finished your training. But this is my destiny. Don't ask me how I know, just accept that I do."
Obi-Wan bowed his head. "I trust that you know what you're doing, more or less."
"More or less?"
"I've spent too much time around you not to wonder if you're not jumping into another Rancor pit that I'll have to drag you out of later."
"That was once!"
"My leg still bothers me when it rains!"
"And the pain is a good reminder from the Force of the lesson: look first before you jump into Rancor pits to rescue your mad master!"
They shared a fond smile, the not-quarrel evaporating between them as it always did, leaving in its wake the sad knowledge of what was to come. "I'm going to miss our adventures together. I'd also hoped we could continue the more interesting ones."
"You have adventures of your own in front of you, more than even the wise can foretell."
Padmé watched their training during the slow days of Qui-Gon's recovery, but it was Queen Amidala who summoned the two Jedi and their small would-be apprentice to her court three days later.
"My friends," she said in a formal voice, "your departure from our world hastens. I am pleased to say the final gift I'd hoped to present you has finally arrived."
"Your Majesty," Qui-Gon said, "your generosity has already been far greater than we could ever repay."
"I could say the same to you. Nevertheless, this is something I had hoped to procure from the auspicious day we all met." She nodded regally to one of her guards, who opened a curtain.
Anakin shouted, "Mom!" Forgetting any possible sense of decorum in front of the Queen, he dashed to her in a moment, throwing his arms around his mother. The woman blinked tears back, hugging him, stroking his head.
Qui-Gon bowed to Amidala and stepped closer. "You did what I could not. Thank you."
"They should be together. I am aware the Jedi do not permit such bonds to persist. However, I believe you have indicated that is less of a concern now." She glanced at Anakin. She would have heard them speaking in the garden. She knew his destiny was no longer the concern of the Jedi Council.
Obi-Wan watched them together. He hadn't met Anakin's mother during their brief stay on Tatooine. He wasn't sure what he'd pictured, but with her face lit with joy now, she was beautiful. "We are in a Rancor pit with no map," he said to Qui-Gon. "It's going to be an interesting adventure."
"It always is," he said, and he approached mother and son with a kind expression. He would protect them both, Obi-Wan knew, to his very last breath if need be.
The last lesson took place in the pink garden with the merry fountain where they'd spent their first one. Qui-Gon joined them, while Anakin's mother sat nearby in the same space Padmé normally took. Obi-Wan did not acknowledge his own soft disappointment at the replacement. The garden was too crowded for the Queen to take her meditation here today.
As they reached out with their powers, Obi-Wan felt the familiar touch of Qui-Gon's presence beside him, and the newly familiar sensation of Anakin's young mind learning to stretch out with his own powers. As such, he was quite startled when he felt another mind, unsure, press in to join them. He opened his eyes as Qui-Gon did the same, both of them watching the woman who sat at the edge of the garden. A moment flashed between them of perfect understanding. The Force may or may not have conceived this odd little boy, but it did not move inside him alone.
"Forgive me," Qui-Gon said aloud. "It has been a very tiring month. I should have realized from the beginning." He gestured to the small circle they made, sitting in the grass. After a moment, Shmi stood from her bench, knelt down, and began her own first lesson.
At the evening meal that night, the Queen asked Anakin and his mother to sit with her at the head of the table. They dined formally, as Amidala always did, but her lips twitched in amusement as she watched the child in his simple joy. Obi-Wan sat in his usual place, Qui-Gon beside him, far from the royal plate and surrounded by important people whose names he was still learning.
Under his napkin, he found a single theedrose petal, which he covered absently with his hand before secreting into a pocket. If Qui-Gon noticed, he said nothing.
Obi-Wan's ship was ready, and he was nearly finished packing his few belongings. Yesterday, he'd seen Qui-Gon off with his two companions. The Queen had told them they were welcome to stay, and Qui-Gon promised to return within a few months. "Anakin needs to see the galaxy. He must learn what it is to discover part he will play in its future." Obi-Wan couldn't object. His own tutelage had been a vagabond affair much of the time, and he wouldn't trade that time for anything. He had seen the galaxy. He was still learning his place in it.
"Safe travels," said Padmé, appearing at the doorway. She had said her good-byes to Anakin, Qui-Gon, and Shmi in her formal guise. Now she was simply herself. He wondered what that meant.
"Thank you. I hope we haven't been any imposition. We stayed much longer than I ever thought we would."
"You could keep staying. You haven't seen even half the gardens yet." There was more to her offer, layered under the words. She had watched them every day, taking time away from her other duties to spend quiet moments among sweet blossom.
"I am overdue to return to Coruscant. I would be pleased to see the other gardens the next time I visit Naboo." The words came out stilted.
Her face went still, sliding back towards the formal impassivity of her role. "I'm sure I can arrange a tour."
He felt the formality creep over him. "That would be..." He broke off. No maps, not for where they'd all gone these last few weeks. "I'm going to miss you."
"Then stay."
They watched each other for a moment. "The answer is that I don't know." At her confusion, he said, "When you asked what I'd be if I didn't become a Jedi. I don't know. Until we came here, until I watched my best friend walk away to train someone who will never be allowed to be a Jedi, I'd never considered any other path."
"And now?"
"Now there are so many paths open in front of me that I don't know which one I would pick if I did have the choice. All I know is that I was raised to this life, I was trained to follow this path, and I should complete my journey as I started it. I will take my Trials, and if I pass, I will be a Jedi."
"What if you don't?"
He still didn't know. Perhaps he would follow after Qui-Gon and the Skywalkers. Perhaps he would travel the galaxy alone, having his own adventures. He would not return to Naboo, not for a while, and he could see that she read that same knowledge on his face. "I'll have to find out. No matter what happens, I will come to visit if circumstances allow me. It may take me a few years, but I promise I'll be back. I would be honored to tour the rest of the gardens when I do."
Padmé accepted the offer for what it was, the only offer he could make. "I would be honored to show you. But be aware, I may not still be Queen by the time you return. We might have to sneak in to the palace to see them." Her eyes sparkled.
"I may not still be a Jedi when I get here. I look forward to the breaking and entering, Your Soon To Be Ex Majesty," he said, bowing with mock formality even as his heart jumped, shaking at his own words and what they meant. Padmé would not always be Queen, nor would she always be so young. Until this adventure, Obi-Wan thought he would always be a Jedi, and Qui-Gon would always be there. Now he accepted that nothing lasted forever, which was a wisdom Padmé already understood.
She hugged him. It was sudden, and full of impulsive wonder, and she stepped away again almost before his brain registered what had happened and told him that his arms had briefly been full of pretty girl. "Good-bye," she said, and she left him there in his borrowed room, a faint scent of flowers pressed into his traveling robe.
He walked alone to the hangar where the ship waited for him. No one waited to say their farewells, and that was fine. Obi-Wan boarded the small vessel, his bag slung at his back. The pilot greeted him with a nod. "If you'll take your seat, we'll be on our way to Coruscant."
"Thank you." He sat. "Tell me, are you only ferrying me, or did you have other stops to make?"
"I've got four other ports of call to make after I drop you off, sir."
Obi-Wan sat back. Destiny was what you made it, and the only thing to do with a Rancor pit was get a good look before you jumped in anyway. "We should visit your other stops before you take me to Coruscant."
"Are you sure, sir? That will delay your arrival by almost a week."
"I'm in no hurry to get back." He looked out the viewscreen. "In fact, I haven't yet decided if I'm going to Coruscant. I'd like to ride along with you first and see what's out there."
The pilot shrugged, and she started the liftoff sequence. "Whatever you say. You're the Jedi."
"We'll see," he said, too quietly for the pilot to hear, and he brushed his fingers against the theedrose petal deep in his pocket.