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AUTHOR'S NOTE:
This arose from me making up the lives of the party members while I played Disgaea and amusing my friends with the details. There are so many characters in the game -- Mages, Skulls, male and female Warriors, Archers, whoever else you create for the party -- and none of them get backstories, much less a place in the continuing plot. This is my answer to the problem: writing a story detailing the interactions and lives of the non-main characters. It's totally self-satisfaction, and I expect some of it will eventually raise eyebrows, but that's part of the fun. Throughout the entirety of the main story line, this is what I think Laharl's minions are getting up to.
This particular story focuses on a male Acolyte and a female Brawler. Expect periodic cameos from primary cast characters.
--
A portal in the castle door opened as he approached. Jenner hesitated nervously, reshouldered his bag, and stepped inside. Everything went dark, and then...
An Acolyte was smiling peacefully at him. "Welcome to the Overlord's Castle," she said. "Lady Etna has been expecting you."
"Th-thanks," he stuttered. The holy power radiating off of her was almost overwhelming. The woman was a Hell-saint incarnate, he was sure; just by standing next to her, the aches of his journey faded away.
Only the best in Prince Laharl's castle, he supposed. Then he swallowed hard; maybe he wasn't cut out for this, after all.
Steeling his resolve, Jenner walked down the hall towards the throne room. Prince Laharl wouldn't be recruiting if he didn't need the extra help; another Acolyte might be on the list of people he was looking for.
The throne room was surprisingly empty, populated only by a few monstrous vassals and Prince Laharl himself. Jenner froze, waiting for an indication he should step forward.
Laharl's voice made him jump. "You! Demon! What do you want?"
The speech he had carefully prepared in his mind during his days of travelling fell to pieces, and Jenner struggled to recompose it as he spoke.
"I have come to provide my aide to Prince Laharl, true ruler of the Makai Kingdom, whose bloodline my family has respected and followed for generations. I wish to fight alongside you in battle, and put my healing skills at your service. It would be an honor to serve under Your Majesty." He bowed deeply, keeping his head low as he waited for judgment.
A female's voice piped up, "Awfully formal, isn't he?"
Anxious sweat beaded on Jenner's temple immediately. Perhaps he hadn't needed to be so particular...?
"Eh," Laharl dismissed. "He's a loyal follower. I may as well grant his life meaning by permitting him into my personal army. D'you hear that, peon? You can sign your soul over to me, now."
Jenner stood up and bowed graciously again. "Thank you, Your Highness."
"Here," said the vassal immediately to the Prince's right – a flat-chested demon girl in a minimal leather outfit. "Sign this."
She handed him a quill and a piece of paper. When he looked around for a flat surface to write on, she muttered, "Oh, right," and whistled loudly. A Prinny appeared seemingly out of nowhere.
"At your service, dude."
She smacked it hard. "That's 'Lady Etna.' Hold still," she commanded it, then looked back up at Jenner and smiled. "There ya go. Writing desk."
Jenner didn't question her.
As he was handing the papers back, the door to the throne room burst unceremoniously open. It swung perilously on its hinges, crushing one of Prince Laharl's vassals behind it. Another vassal went to pick its fallen comrade off the ground and bring it to the hospital wing.
"Hey," shouted the demon-girl who had just entered. "This is Laharl's castle, right?"
"You will adress me as Prince Laharl, or Lord of the Makai Kingdom, or Master --"
"Right, right. Good. Found the place. I'm here to join your army." She stood without any indication of subservience or respect, staring Laharl right in the eye and smiling impishly.
Before Laharl could comment, Etna was standing in front of him.
"I want this one," she insisted. "I know, she just broke the door, but the Prinny Squad can probably fix it and besides, I need an assistant with a little more destructive prowess. You've got all these others – an Acolyte, now!" she remarked, pointing at Jenner, "So one little Brawler isn't going to hurt, right?"
Laharl rolled his eyes. "Whatever."
Etna produced a different set of papers, grabbed the substitute-writing desk Prinny, and presented them to the girl.
"Great!" she said cheerfully. She signed in a quick, indecipherable scribble.
Etna righted the Prinny. "Show them to their rooms," she commanded.
"Dude!" agreed the Prinny, saluting. It began an awkward march down the throne room carpet and out the door. Jenner followed along behind it and the girl.
As they turned a corner into a deserted hallway, the Prinny said, "Nice to meet you, dudes. We'll probably be fighting together from now on, huh dudes? My name's Tandoori. What's yours, dudes?"
"Trouble," said the girl.
"Jenner," said Jenner.
"Cool, dudes. Your rooms are right down here. You're gonna be neighbors, too! My room's in the dungeon with the other prinnies, dudes. Not as nice as your digs, dudes."
There were two doors side by side. Jenner glanced at Trouble. She made eye contact, smiled like her namesake, and entered one. Jenner opened the other and stepped inside.
There was a somewhat threadbare rug on the stone floor, a four-poster bed with a canopy and drapery whose original red had faded to a dark mauve, and precious little else. To Jenner, this was better than he had expected. He dropped his bag and stuck his head out into the hall again; Tandoori was ten paces down the hall, waddling away.
"Tandoori?"
"Yeah, dude?"
"Where's the nearest shower?"
Tandoori pointed a stubby wing further down the hall. "It's labeled," he assured. Just don't forget which room is yours, dude."
"Thanks, Tandoori."
"No problem, dude." The Prinny spun around on one pegged leg and began waddling away again.
Jenner dug out a knife from his bag, put a nondescript mark above his doorknob on the outside of the door, and carried on to the washroom.
The washroom was more like a public bath for use by the entire castle. A couple monsters were rinsing off at the rows of faucets. Jenner stripped off his travelling clothes and set them aside, wrapped a small towel around his hips, and chose an empty station to begin washing up at. For the first time in days, he began his cold water ablutions his mother and father – both healing mages, both having attained the level of Sage – had taught him when he was very young. They had claimed it would build Ki and increase the potency of his healing magic; Jenner suspected it was a form of child torture, but he had continued to observe it.
There was, in the rear of the washroom, a very large hot water pool to soak in. Once he had scrubbed off the grit from the road, he happily sank into the gigantic bathtub. He leaned back against the side, elbows resting on the edge, closed his eyes and sighed peacefully.
For several minutes, all was quiet and peaceful. Then he heard footsteps padding closer, and the sound of someone lowering themselves into the water next to him.
"Aahh, this feels great!"
Jenner's eyes snapped open. "Trouble?! What the hell are you doing?!"
"Takin' a bath," she said casually, looking at him like he was the one acting peculiar. "S'a public bathroom, y'know. Co-ed."
The flush on Jenner's cheeks was not from the tub heat. He scooted a few feet further away from her.
"Couldn't you wait until it's mostly girls in here or something? Or not sit directly next to me?"
She assumed the same position he'd taken not ten minutes earlier, apparently ignoring him.
"You aren't even covering your breasts!"
"Yeah? So? Why ya gotta be such a prude, Jenny?"
Jenner's vision went red. "Do. Not. Call me that."
Trouble opened one eye to look at him, sighed, and said, "Whatev. Why ya gotta be such a prude?"
"I'm not being a prude. I'm too young for that stuff."
Trouble sat up, the water level barely obscuring her breasts. Jenner looked away, scandalized.
"Oho," she said. "Too young, huh? From here, you look plenty old enough."
Jenner dropped low in the water, hands holding his towel down. "Sh-shut up! That's not what I meant!"
He could hear the monster vassals around them commenting quietly to each other, amused and jeering to each other.
"Then what did you mean?" Trouble pressed, moving towards him.
Jenner took a step back. "That as an Acolyte, I'm not allowed any sexual contact whatsoever and won't be allowed it until I've graduated in rank, so you can stay outside a two foot radius and please stop leering at me."
From behind him, he heard one monster observe to another "I knew there was a reason I didn't want to be a healer. No girls? Yeesh, poor kid's gonna pop."
Trouble grinned like a Cheshire Cat, then resumed her position against the wall of the tub. "Fine," she conceded. "Have fun being all prudish over there. You're not mature enough to handle a woman anyway."
Jenner stayed low in the water as he took up a spot against the wall a few feet down from her, sulking. "How would you know, anyway?"
"Woman's intuition." She giggled to herself. "Only womanly thing about me, Dad would say. And lookit that: you had a naked woman right in front of you and you really didn't know what to do with her."
Though he desperately wished to argue her point, he didn't. "When are you getting out?"
"I dunno. An hour or two. Haven't had a hot bath in ages. Why?"
"Because I want to get out but... not before you do."
"Why? Wanna check me out while I'm leaving? My bust isn't the only thing I didn't cover."
Jenner scowled. "No! I... don't feel comfortable being naked around girls."
He almost drowned himself for shame at the peal of laughter Trouble let out in response.
"Jeez, you're such a kid," she admonished. "'Sides, you've got a towel on. You're less naked than I am right now, and unless you're hung like a horse – which you aren't – you have nothing to worry about."
The heat was starting to make him dizzy; he had to get out of the tub soon or he'd faint and then he'd really have a problem on his hands. "Fine," he muttered. "But don't look."
Trouble closed her eyes. "Not a problem," she said, blissful. "I could fall asleep here."
He hesitated only a few seconds, then got up and pulled himself from the tub. The towel stayed tied in place.
Ten feet from the bathtub, he heard Trouble call, "Cute butt, Jenner!"
He gasped, covered his backside with his hands, and turned around.
Trouble was in the same position he'd left her in. She hadn't even looked up.
Jenner growled under his breath, embarrassed not only that she'd got him but that everyone else in the washroom was having a great laugh at his expense. He stomped back to dry off, collected his things, and marched back to his room.
The dirty clothes were dropped in a pile next to the door. From his pack, he extricated a pair of shorts to sleep in and pulled them on. Then he collapsed on his bed, eager for a sleep that wouldn't come fast enough.
An undeterminable amount of time later, he was jolted awake by the sound of boulders being crushed. His mind spun, first ascertaining where he was (a moment of victory: he was in Prince Laharl's service!), and then determining the source of the noise.
The wall directly next to his bed took another impact, and a stone jostled loose.
It was the wall that separated his room from Trouble's.
Furious, Jenner got up, stormed into the hallway, and pounded on the door. When that earned no response, he turned the knob and went inside.
"Trouble!" he shouted.
The room was only dimly lit by the half-moon. Trouble was in bed, rolling over and mumbling to herself. The bed was alongside the same wall as Jenner's.
"Hey," he said, prodding her. "Wake up. We're moving your bed."
Trouble rolled over, fist swinging. Jenner dodged aside, but the arm looped around, catching his torso, and he tripped in the same instant. He fell to the ground, grabbing Trouble for balance and inadvertantly tugging her halfway off the bed.
She finally woke up. "Hmm?"
"About time," he muttered.
Trouble smirked. "Finally decide you wanna experiment with girls after all?"
"No! Look, you hit things in your sleep, okay? You keep hitting the wall and my bed's right on the other side and it's waking me up. So... stop. Can you move your bed?"
"Fine..."
She pushed herself back up into her bed, then got out of it properly. Then she gave him a good look. "Nice shorts."
"Just move the stupid bed, okay? Your brute strength should make this easy."
Trouble grabbed the bed frame and pushed it to the center of the room. "Had to do this at home, too," she observed. "It's been a while since I thought about it, but I used ta destroy the house in my sleep regularly." She flopped back onto the bed. "Sure you wanna go back to your room? These beds are big enough for two. Three, even."
"Absolutely sure," he insisted. "Even if I wasn't, you'd probably kill me in your sleep."
She laughed. "Yeah, probably."
Jenner rolled his eyes and retreated to his own room. He collapsed, exhausted, into his bed.
Sleep was slower in coming than it had been before, though. Trouble – her carelessness, her advances – was still annoying him, even without her being in the room.
He grumbled to himself, rolling over and forcing his thoughts into silence. He began meditating to quiet his mind, eager for sleep to return.
When it did, Jenner dreamed of the fulfillment he hoped for: bringing royal merit to his family name, the would-be King Laharl's most loyal servant. One step closer, he thought. Even in his sleep, the relief of having been accepted as an Acolyte under the Prince was elating.