BANG!
The sound of the gun going off pierced Izaya's heart in the same manner the bullet tore through Shizuo's skull and splattered the man's brains all over the wall behind them, painting a canvas of death and shattered dreams in a crimson that put Izaya's eye color to shame. It took a single bullet to put Ikebukuro's strongest down once and for all, and the only thing Izaya could think of as his eyes roamed over the bloody scene before him was that it couldn't be happening because Shizuo was a beast and beasts weren't supposed to be defeated by something so small.
"No no no no," he murmured brokenly as trembling fingers brushed against Shizuo's face that was still warm and feeling very much alive even though the monster was now gone, taking Izaya's little black heart with him and leaving him in tatters. The pain in his chest was so intense that he briefly wondered if he too had been shot, but there was no gaping hole even though his heart had been ripped out of his body along with Shizuo's life.
Seeing his beast like that hurt so much that he could hardly breathe, and yet Izaya couldn't take his eyes off the crimson liquid pouring down the wound marring Shizuo's forehead, staining the tanned face in deathly red paint and filling the still open mocha eyes that Izaya used to love so much. He no longer did now that the spark of life within them was gone, leaving behind never-ending emptiness and death. They were as hollow as the skull once encasing Shizuo's brain, the bullet taking with it not only the soft grey matter but also every thought and every memory belonging to the only person Izaya had ever truly loved.
The dam keeping his tears at bay finally broke and Izaya let out a heartwrenching sob, tears streaming down his face as he pulled Shizuo's head to his chest and ran quivering fingers through bloody bleached hair. He felt as dead on the inside as the blond he was rocking gently in his embrace while murmuring apologies for never having told him how much he loved him, and yet he was still very much alive while the two men in the room were arguing over whether to kill him or not. He knew that he should be trying to convince them to let him live, but Shizuo's blood, still so warm against his skin, was drowning his thoughts and leaving him unable to think.
BANG!
And it no longer mattered.
The bullet impacted the right side of his head and Izaya collapsed on the bed next to Shizuo, his blood now mixing with that of the man he loved. Everything went dark for a few moments, as though he'd been erased from existence, but then he heard footsteps retreating and he realized that he was still alive.
They say you see your life flash before your eyes in the last moments before death, but as he lay dying on Shizuo's bed, all Izaya could see was infinite darkness, trying to pull him in and swallow him whole. It felt as though he was swimming through molasses, sinking deeper the more he struggled as he clung to life with his teeth. The thought of no longer existing was as terrifying as the thought of spending the rest of his life without Shizuo, but the balance tipped in favor of living if only to rip to pieces with his bare hands the men who had taken away his beast.
It almost sounded nice, but it was nothing more than a dream and Izaya knew deep down inside that he would bleed to death next to Shizuo's body. He would give his last breathe and leave the world the only way he was meant to leave it: together with Shizu-chan.
Besides, he should've already been dead, so every second of being alive was a miracle in itself; or a curse. He was most likely numb from shock so it didn't hurt, but the pain in his chest kept growing as the seconds ticked by, the agony of losing Shizuo increasing exponentially with every weak breathe he took as he fought to stay alive.
Now, more than ever, he wanted to tell the blond how much he loved him (even though Shizuo could no longer hear him), but he was a prisoner within his own mind and the hopelessness he felt at being denied the chance to utter those three words hurt so much that Izaya doubted he would ever be able to overcome his regret even if he would somehow manage to survive a bullet to the head.
The darkness surrounding him felt heavier, more suffocating, like it was squashing him in its choking hold in order to extinguish his existence, and Izaya realized that it was something he couldn't beat no matter how hard he fought. His own thoughts were slipping away from him, succumbing to the void of non-existence, but in the last remaining moments of his life he became aware of one thing. Everyone was equal in death: gods, men, and monsters alike.
Shizu-chan, I love you.