It was one fine afternoon, well at least for Harry Potter and Ron Weasley. They had been smoking joints all day and were feeling really smooth. They were in Moaning Myrtle's bathroom doing it, and no one could seem to find them. Moaning Myrtle was threating to tell them, but they offered her some beer and she cheered up.
"So there's this guy, an ape, and Professor Snape right," she said, "and the ape says, 'Hey Snape, I'll give you 3 galleons if you chew this banana peel and then lick it' err or somethin like that and anyway-" she was cut off by Harry.
"Listen you dead little bitch witch clitch," he said studderingly, "you tell that joke wrong. Its a tree, a lawnmower, and Dumbledore. Then the Dumbledore eats lawnmower pee on tree lee gee fee shee."
"No maan no!" said Ron, who was worst of em all, "You have to tell it like this. There's a somputer monitor, huh huh somputer, and a hose, and a gopher. Anyway the som-- err sorry computer monitor chews up the hose without its mouth and the gopher pees on it."
They all argue on this topic for awhile. Suddenly, Harry realizes he sitting in the toilet.
"Oops!" he said laughingly. "Guess i was takin a shit fit lit git hit!"
Ron the pulled him out of the toilet, and fell backwards, breaking the stall door.
"Shit you guys!" said Myrtle, "I mean come on! Those doors cost money you know!"
"Oh shut the hell up Moaner loaner foaner boner," Harry said strangly, "you know you dont use booz lose this bathroom anyway." He took a drag of a newly lighted joint. "Ahhhhh."
Harry then heard footsteps down the hallway. Suddenly, someone walked in. It was Professor Flitwick. They hid underneath the Invisiblity cloak.
"I hope this isn't that Moaning Myrtle's bathroom" said Flitwick. He then whipped out his pecker and also his wand. He whispered to his wand, "Playboyiasimmonate". Just then, a magazine popped out and he started to wank his wanker.
Harry and Ron tried not to laugh at his bite-size pecker, but then Ron remembered he was hung like a cockroach. Harry must have been thinkin the same thing because he shot a "Your penis is small anyway you pecker head" kind of look.
After Flitwick was done he walked out and went back to his office.
"Pheew! That was close! And I'm surprised he didn't smell the weed smoke!" Said Ron.
"Yeah but I did the "Airfreshoness" charm so he wouldn't smell a thing."
They had nearly forgotten Myrtle was there...
"So you want to experiment with our hormones like gay college boys?" Said Ron
"Sure! I love gettin my pickle ripened!" Said Harry, obviously very high.
So Ron and Harry did some things, and then once they were done they heard a laugh from the other stall.
"SHIT!!!" They yelled in unison. "MYRRRRTTTTLE!!!!!!"
"Don't worry I won't tell....gay boys!"
"We're NOT GAY! We were just err... experimenting...with stuff luff tough hufflepuff." Said Harry.
They ran out of the bathroom.
They got back up to the common room and noticed everyone was staring at them, laughing, pointing. "What? What is it?"
"Do you have a 'special delivery' for us Ron?" someone said
"Perhaps a SMALL PACKAGE?" added another. Everyone ROARED with laughter.
"Harry, nice banana!" Said Lavender Brown
"Harry do you reckon you know what they are talking about? I mean just because we are incredibly high and completly naked doesn't mean any--....Oh my GOD! RUN!!!!
The two ran upstairs and put some clothes on. They came back down and to their suprise no one was there.
"Phew!" They thought....
Just then, they were stepping out of the portrait door and only to see 50 laughing faces. They were whispering things like, "Tootsie Roll" and "Munchkin".
"So you guys have fun in the bathroom?" Said Draco Malfoy. "I always knew you two cocksucking monkey butt fuckers were gay...just wanted to find out for myself. HAHA!"
Just then Snape came down the hall. "All you little fucks go back to your dorms. NOW."
"Fuck off, Snape." here came Dumbledore.
"Excuse me sir?"
"Fuck the fuck off fuckity fuck fuker."
"Sveet!" said Harry and Ron.
"Boys, in my fuckin office. Fucking now bitches."
"Yes fuckin sir!"
They walked up to the gargoyle and took a guess at the password "Fuck off bitch hoe". It opened right up
"So you little cocksuckers were walking around nude? Thats fucked up dude."
"Um, Professor Dumbledore, why are you so fucked up? I didn't know you did crack." said Harry.
"I don't. Its called crack-a-back. Its fuckin right! I took a little, so what! It dont fuck ya up that bad. I mean I seem pretty normal right?" Replied Dumbledore.
"Uh...sure, sure ya do floo shoo koo boo giaoooo!" said Harry.
"Speaking of doing shit... anyway boys I wanted to talk to you about something. Its about Hogwarts. We are going to fucking be fucking shut fucking down. FUCK!"
"err....why the fuck?" said Ron.
"I don't fuckin know. Maybe just a spur o the moment thought. Maybe Im so fucked up i just want eat a trunk. Or somethin like that. Speaking of eating have you boys heard the one about the mouse, the doorframe, and the gorilla? Or was it the lawnmower, the zoo, and the orthopedic surgeon.... anyway should I eat a horse?"
"Right Dumblefuck....have a good sleep, sleep sheep reep teep the shit off...speaking of sleep...." Harry passed out on Dumbledore's office floor."
Just then, Cornelius Fudge walked in and shot Dumbledore in the head.
Author's note: Ok so I wrote another one. I'll write another one life goes on! OK so r/r it. BTW, acouple of things on the top of my head....shout out to FuBar....She's an awesome writer, although, I have never talked to her but I would like to, she is my inspiration....If anyone talks to her tell her to email me....And another thing please dont leave me nasty reviews like shut the fuck up and i need to stop being so vulgar. I mean shit y would they have ratings if you couldnt write for that rating! Ok thats all have a nice day! BTW, if you have an idea for my hilarious stories, write me and ill give you a shout out in them!
"So there's this guy, an ape, and Professor Snape right," she said, "and the ape says, 'Hey Snape, I'll give you 3 galleons if you chew this banana peel and then lick it' err or somethin like that and anyway-" she was cut off by Harry.
"Listen you dead little bitch witch clitch," he said studderingly, "you tell that joke wrong. Its a tree, a lawnmower, and Dumbledore. Then the Dumbledore eats lawnmower pee on tree lee gee fee shee."
"No maan no!" said Ron, who was worst of em all, "You have to tell it like this. There's a somputer monitor, huh huh somputer, and a hose, and a gopher. Anyway the som-- err sorry computer monitor chews up the hose without its mouth and the gopher pees on it."
They all argue on this topic for awhile. Suddenly, Harry realizes he sitting in the toilet.
"Oops!" he said laughingly. "Guess i was takin a shit fit lit git hit!"
Ron the pulled him out of the toilet, and fell backwards, breaking the stall door.
"Shit you guys!" said Myrtle, "I mean come on! Those doors cost money you know!"
"Oh shut the hell up Moaner loaner foaner boner," Harry said strangly, "you know you dont use booz lose this bathroom anyway." He took a drag of a newly lighted joint. "Ahhhhh."
Harry then heard footsteps down the hallway. Suddenly, someone walked in. It was Professor Flitwick. They hid underneath the Invisiblity cloak.
"I hope this isn't that Moaning Myrtle's bathroom" said Flitwick. He then whipped out his pecker and also his wand. He whispered to his wand, "Playboyiasimmonate". Just then, a magazine popped out and he started to wank his wanker.
Harry and Ron tried not to laugh at his bite-size pecker, but then Ron remembered he was hung like a cockroach. Harry must have been thinkin the same thing because he shot a "Your penis is small anyway you pecker head" kind of look.
After Flitwick was done he walked out and went back to his office.
"Pheew! That was close! And I'm surprised he didn't smell the weed smoke!" Said Ron.
"Yeah but I did the "Airfreshoness" charm so he wouldn't smell a thing."
They had nearly forgotten Myrtle was there...
"So you want to experiment with our hormones like gay college boys?" Said Ron
"Sure! I love gettin my pickle ripened!" Said Harry, obviously very high.
So Ron and Harry did some things, and then once they were done they heard a laugh from the other stall.
"SHIT!!!" They yelled in unison. "MYRRRRTTTTLE!!!!!!"
"Don't worry I won't tell....gay boys!"
"We're NOT GAY! We were just err... experimenting...with stuff luff tough hufflepuff." Said Harry.
They ran out of the bathroom.
They got back up to the common room and noticed everyone was staring at them, laughing, pointing. "What? What is it?"
"Do you have a 'special delivery' for us Ron?" someone said
"Perhaps a SMALL PACKAGE?" added another. Everyone ROARED with laughter.
"Harry, nice banana!" Said Lavender Brown
"Harry do you reckon you know what they are talking about? I mean just because we are incredibly high and completly naked doesn't mean any--....Oh my GOD! RUN!!!!
The two ran upstairs and put some clothes on. They came back down and to their suprise no one was there.
"Phew!" They thought....
Just then, they were stepping out of the portrait door and only to see 50 laughing faces. They were whispering things like, "Tootsie Roll" and "Munchkin".
"So you guys have fun in the bathroom?" Said Draco Malfoy. "I always knew you two cocksucking monkey butt fuckers were gay...just wanted to find out for myself. HAHA!"
Just then Snape came down the hall. "All you little fucks go back to your dorms. NOW."
"Fuck off, Snape." here came Dumbledore.
"Excuse me sir?"
"Fuck the fuck off fuckity fuck fuker."
"Sveet!" said Harry and Ron.
"Boys, in my fuckin office. Fucking now bitches."
"Yes fuckin sir!"
They walked up to the gargoyle and took a guess at the password "Fuck off bitch hoe". It opened right up
"So you little cocksuckers were walking around nude? Thats fucked up dude."
"Um, Professor Dumbledore, why are you so fucked up? I didn't know you did crack." said Harry.
"I don't. Its called crack-a-back. Its fuckin right! I took a little, so what! It dont fuck ya up that bad. I mean I seem pretty normal right?" Replied Dumbledore.
"Uh...sure, sure ya do floo shoo koo boo giaoooo!" said Harry.
"Speaking of doing shit... anyway boys I wanted to talk to you about something. Its about Hogwarts. We are going to fucking be fucking shut fucking down. FUCK!"
"err....why the fuck?" said Ron.
"I don't fuckin know. Maybe just a spur o the moment thought. Maybe Im so fucked up i just want eat a trunk. Or somethin like that. Speaking of eating have you boys heard the one about the mouse, the doorframe, and the gorilla? Or was it the lawnmower, the zoo, and the orthopedic surgeon.... anyway should I eat a horse?"
"Right Dumblefuck....have a good sleep, sleep sheep reep teep the shit off...speaking of sleep...." Harry passed out on Dumbledore's office floor."
Just then, Cornelius Fudge walked in and shot Dumbledore in the head.
Author's note: Ok so I wrote another one. I'll write another one life goes on! OK so r/r it. BTW, acouple of things on the top of my head....shout out to FuBar....She's an awesome writer, although, I have never talked to her but I would like to, she is my inspiration....If anyone talks to her tell her to email me....And another thing please dont leave me nasty reviews like shut the fuck up and i need to stop being so vulgar. I mean shit y would they have ratings if you couldnt write for that rating! Ok thats all have a nice day! BTW, if you have an idea for my hilarious stories, write me and ill give you a shout out in them!