"Why am I here? What have I done? What do they want with me?"
I shot up out of my bed, my music blasting in my ear and my thoughts all jumbled and running everywhere. I placed one foot onto the cold hard wood floor then turned and looked at the objects in my room. My breath was shortened and quick; my eyes scurried from object to object. I threw the blanket off of my half naked body then gripped down hard onto the sheets. I closed my eyes then released my grip on the sheets. I rose my hands to my head and grabbed my head tightly. I took a long deep breath in then.I screamed. *~**~**~**~**~**~**~**~**~**~**~**~**~**~**~**~**~**~*
"Shinji!" A light rapping sound was heard from the other side of the door. I pulled my knees up to my chest and pressed the pillow down harder over my head.
"Shinji, please.I understand why you are in there.come out.please."
I closed my eyes. No! She doesn't know why, none of them do. Why? Why am I here? What do they want from me? Don't they see? I am just a kid, I'm only 15. I'm not responsible for someone else's life. I'm not even responsible for my own self. I just want to die; I want to go away from here, far from here.
"Shinji, please." The voice began to trail off as I could hear the sound of a body sliding down against my door.
"Misato." I whispered softly. I close my eyes in pain. I was doing it again. I was causing others pain because of my stupidity. I have to stop running away!
"Misato!" I screamed.
I heard her scramble to her feet; she banged her fist against the door. Tears streamed down my cheeks.
"Shinji!" she banged against the door "Shinji, open up Shinji"
I opened my eyes and looked at the door. A dark pain slipped into my heart causing me to suffer and experience heartache.
"Misato.I don't want to pilot the EVA.I don't want to be apart of this anymore!"
She stopped banging and fell silent. I could hear the diminutive sound of her lips parting as she opened her mouth to speak again.
"Shinji.I understand what you have gone through but, we need you.you are here to save the world from the."
"Why! So man can destroy one another? If Angel's don't destroy us man will! So what's the point?"
"God damn it Shinji!" She bashed her fist against the door.
I picked up my blanket and moved it off of me and to the other side of the bed. I picked up my head off the pillow then sat upright and looked at the door. I straightened my legs out and stood up. My legs were shaky and weak, but I was able to make it to the door. I sat down at the door then leaned my back against it. I closed my eyes and sighed. I opened my eyes and looked behind me at the door and asked,
"Misato.?"
She made a faint sound.
"Why...Why am I a pilot?"
"You are a pilot because it was supposed to be this way."
I pulled my knees up to my chest and wrapped my arms around them, resting my head.
"Why me?"
She sighed then spoke, "I don't know." *~**~**~**~**~**~**~**~**~**~**~**~**~**~**~**~**~**~*
I shot up out of my bed, my music blasting in my ear and my thoughts all jumbled and running everywhere. I placed one foot onto the cold hard wood floor then turned and looked at the objects in my room. My breath was shortened and quick; my eyes scurried from object to object. I threw the blanket off of my half naked body then gripped down hard onto the sheets. I closed my eyes then released my grip on the sheets. I rose my hands to my head and grabbed my head tightly. I took a long deep breath in then.I screamed. *~**~**~**~**~**~**~**~**~**~**~**~**~**~**~**~**~**~*
"Shinji!" A light rapping sound was heard from the other side of the door. I pulled my knees up to my chest and pressed the pillow down harder over my head.
"Shinji, please.I understand why you are in there.come out.please."
I closed my eyes. No! She doesn't know why, none of them do. Why? Why am I here? What do they want from me? Don't they see? I am just a kid, I'm only 15. I'm not responsible for someone else's life. I'm not even responsible for my own self. I just want to die; I want to go away from here, far from here.
"Shinji, please." The voice began to trail off as I could hear the sound of a body sliding down against my door.
"Misato." I whispered softly. I close my eyes in pain. I was doing it again. I was causing others pain because of my stupidity. I have to stop running away!
"Misato!" I screamed.
I heard her scramble to her feet; she banged her fist against the door. Tears streamed down my cheeks.
"Shinji!" she banged against the door "Shinji, open up Shinji"
I opened my eyes and looked at the door. A dark pain slipped into my heart causing me to suffer and experience heartache.
"Misato.I don't want to pilot the EVA.I don't want to be apart of this anymore!"
She stopped banging and fell silent. I could hear the diminutive sound of her lips parting as she opened her mouth to speak again.
"Shinji.I understand what you have gone through but, we need you.you are here to save the world from the."
"Why! So man can destroy one another? If Angel's don't destroy us man will! So what's the point?"
"God damn it Shinji!" She bashed her fist against the door.
I picked up my blanket and moved it off of me and to the other side of the bed. I picked up my head off the pillow then sat upright and looked at the door. I straightened my legs out and stood up. My legs were shaky and weak, but I was able to make it to the door. I sat down at the door then leaned my back against it. I closed my eyes and sighed. I opened my eyes and looked behind me at the door and asked,
"Misato.?"
She made a faint sound.
"Why...Why am I a pilot?"
"You are a pilot because it was supposed to be this way."
I pulled my knees up to my chest and wrapped my arms around them, resting my head.
"Why me?"
She sighed then spoke, "I don't know." *~**~**~**~**~**~**~**~**~**~**~**~**~**~**~**~**~**~*