A/N :
We'll probably start this with the general disclaimer stuff,
THE MATERIAL THAT IS USED BELOW IS NOT OURS, IT'S THE ARTISTIC PROPERTY OF BIOWARE AND ELECTRONIC ARTS AND GAMES WORKSHOP ETC,ETC
Okay now with that out of the way I'd like to say a word (or two) on our behalf : this is the first ever fanfic by us, so fingers crossed and hope it doesn't disappoint. There are two writers in this fanfic, it's me and my best friend slimeball8899. We got the idea for this fanfic on one boring summer day. We also want to acknowledge the editors in this project Tor and Kiasu, who have been a great help in correcting grammatical errors.
Oh, almost forgot, we have planned to have a crossover character from somewhere (over the rainbow~), but have not yet decided from where. Yet.
Rated M for Language
I'm gonna list the things that's unorthodox in this fanfic :
1. There's two writers, so you'll find two writing styles (and two narration/POV)
2. The story is in present tense, although technically suppose to be in past
3. Illogical motifs of character
4. The awfully long and redundant intro that suppose to be something else but ran out of idea so it's just stuck like that
By the way, look out for references in the story readers (THE REFERENCE MATERIAL IS NOT OURS, IT'S THE ARTISTIC PROPERTY OF *INSERT CREATOR/S HERE*)
So I'll let my friend takeover the intro here and onwards we go...
Geek Effect
Chapter 1 : Prologue
"Down went Alice after it, never once considering how in the world she was to get out again." - Lewis Carrol (Alice in the Wonderland)
"On the edge of the solar system lies a dark planet, its cold surface is filled with craters both large and small. Amongst the craters lies vast amount of ruins. They are the remains of the planet's former civilization. What happened here was unknown to the Imperium, except to the High Lords of Terra themselves. Rumour has it that the inhabitants of the planet were once the followers of Warmaster Horus during the Horus Heresy period, and the planet was sentenced to Exterminatus by the Ordo Malleus."
Nononono, this is wrong we're not doi-
GLORY FOR THE FIRST MAN TO DIE!
"Here I am, sitting in the middle of the ruins. My name is not important right now, it can wait. What I am going to tell you is much more important than the rumours surrounding the planet and its former inhabitants. This is the story of a single Adeptus Astartes from the Blood Ravens that ended the heresy on this pla-"
Seriously mate, Sto-
POOTIS SPENCER!
"The story started after the Horus Heresy. A great space battle was raging on the atmosphere of the planet, the sounds of megamelta and bolters could be heard from miles away. The sound of metals clashing on various boarding point across the capital ships. The Omnissiah's Victory had been brought to battle, the Imperium of Man was winning the battle. A lucky shot from one of the chaos ship hit a flying Thunderhawk transport, damaged its engine and the integrated vox caster inside it. The Thunderhawk was forced to crash-land on the planet's surface, still bristling with city slums full of here-."
Don't you dare write another paragra-
MAKIN' BACON!
"Soon after, the Imperium won the battle as the last of chaos ships were blown to bits by the Ark Mechanicus' seemingly impossible weapon, the Jovian Pattern Nova Cannon. The thundering sound of its firing would bring terror upon any of the Emperor's enemy. The damage and destruction it brought would put even the mightiest of the Collegia Titanica's legion to shame. A single shot was all it took to destroy what's left of the chaos fleet. The crashed thunderhawk was abandoned by the Imperial fleet. Due to the broken vox caster, the crew weren't able to send a rescue signal."
ALL RIGHT I'M TAKING OV-
"Walking through the jungle, the assault marine took the lead, slicing every obstacle apart with his chainsword, the banner bearer was in the middle, and the devastators covered their flanks. A single sudden movement was enough for the heavy weapon expert to open fire. Dozens of creatures that assaulted the group were ripped to shreds either by the heavy bolter, or by the mighty chainsword of the Adeptus Astartes. They spent days exploring the jungle before finding a hive city, towering high into the clouds. Circling the city at the upper spire were flying wyvern-like creatures, native to the planet. Giant walls were erected along the city border to defend the settlement from creatures and xenos alike. "
You asked for this friend…...
""We strike with the wrath of the righteous! For the Emperor!" The banner bearer cried, as the litany of fury came upon the marines in the middle of the city slums. The marines fought as if they were possessed, warcries echoed throughout the skies, blood were splattered all over the walls, the assault marine danced with magnificent grace as the battle raged on, killing thousands of chaos followers, not even a single scratch engraved on his sacred armor. The devastator marines fired their gu-
*FALCON PUNCH* I TOLD YOU BEFORE WE'RE NOT DOING THAT INTRO, IT HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH OUR STORY! STOP DRIVING AWAY THE READERS!
"Fiiiiineee, whatever you say."
Sorry for wasting your 5 minutes readers, my friend here seems to have a huuuuge crush on WH40K, so let me handle this…*ehem*
"And you should stop jerking off"
Screw you Will. Give me the voice recorder.
"Hurr. no."
This is a story about two best friends, who unwittingly got caught in an "interesting" circumstanc-.
"Wait! My boring intro-sense is tingling!"
Shut it, before I throw you out the airlock!
Okay back to who we are, I am ******* *******, or Frank for short and my very polite friend here is ****** ******** , more commonly known as Will.
Well hold on to your seats ladies and gentleman, this is going to be a bumpy ride….
Hah! I wouldn't call it bumpy if you're the one who's telling the story
Shush!
Frank's point of view :
Well I guess as any other story, it needs a magnificent backstory.
It was a warm Summer evening. It's funny to think that my country actually doesn't have any season other than summer and raining season. So we're always suffering from flood or drought. It's always either wet or dry, humid or arid, and so on and so on. Okay a bit off track there, but back to the story!
By Jove! It was a surprisingly warm Summer evening! I was having a sleepover(yes, on contrary to popular belief, men do have sleepovers) and to think that Will and I here were on the verge of an all out war.
"Oi you bastard, watch the flank will ya!" my dear friend shouts
"Well if you haven't gotten into position yet, there's no flank to be watched!", I shout back.
That doesn't actually help to ease the tension. "Help me you lazy сука! I'm on a kill streak here!", yells Will.
"You help yourself, you nincompoop! or maybe you don't have the cojones to work alone?", I answer with a classic smirk.
Then bam! He died. It's amazing how things escalate from a fictional battlefield to a real one.
"You….you….THAT'S IT! YOU'VE DONE IT NOW MY FRIEND!" He threw his controller and proceeds to mangle me.
"OH NO YOU DON'T!" I dodge his fury attack (barely) and then….wait for it….. "FALCON PUNCH!" My curled fist lands first blow in my friend's stomach.
Fallen on the floor, he still managed to groan out a "You son of a-" before fainting.
I began my signature victory dance….. Before he pulled my leg, taking me down with him.
I was dazed for a moment, I can't believe he pulled that trick on me. Should have seen that coming though.
Suddenly a battle cry rang in the room " HARAKONARI AN TELLIKA REGALA!" It was from dear old Will. All I can manage to counter is a "Wha…." before he pinned me down again on the floor.
I shove him off and got up quickly, managing a grin. A devious grin. Ohohohoho, you made the wrong choice Mr. Will. What happened requires no further explanation.
The night's still young, cue the "Blue Danube Waltz" and let the fun begin.
That went on for hours (I think) before we reached a parlay. Hmmm…. parlay, now that's a word I learned from Pirates of The Caribbean. Good trilogy. I said trilogy because I don't regard the fourth movie as a part of it. Just like Indiana Jones, trilogy for me thank you very much. Anyway, back to the story.
"Parlay!" I huffed, "PARLAY!"
"I….." he took a deep breath, "concur..."
Will puffed out a lungful of air.
"God, I don't think even Kratos fights as fierce as you," I gulped down the fresh, fresh air.
I felt a hard slap on my back, almost choking me. "Hey what was that for?"
Will laughed and said, "That. Is for almost killing me you incredible сука."
"Well, no quarters right?", I joined in the laughter.
"You got that right ", before slapping my back again, softly this time.
"So what now?" I asked with more huffing and puffing.
Now that's a food for thought, what now? What will we do now? Dear me this is going to be quite the dilemma is it? It won't be long befo-
"Hello? Anybody home? Think McFly think!" Will laughed while knocking my head.
And then I snapped back from my Wonderland. Oh great there he goes making a random reference.
"It's already 10 P.M., gotta get some shut eye Frank," Will said.
"It's only 10 P.M. grandpa, it's a sleepover not a retirement home," I teased.
Will just shrugged and said, "Well suit yourself then сука, don't blame me if you can't get "it" up tomorrow. "
"... What?... I don't even… you know what, I don't even want to know, at all", with that I planted my palm on my face. Will on the other hand had a pillow planted on his face. He curled up in his sleeping bag. Then he began to snore, quietly at first.
Oh no. It's happening. The Chorus of Sir Snore-a-lot. I shuddered at the thought of the last time I had a sleepover where I was the last man awake. Well the last man awake became the man who couldn't sleep all night. God that was frightening. But…..It's different this time, with a little effort, I could get some rest.
I muttered to myself "I'm probably already tired from all the fighting we did. That was one of the most furious battle I have had in a while."
Then I started yawning. I lied down in my bed, closed my eyes and bid the world good night. Before long, the world changed into a dull grey atmosphere.
Well I think it's time you take over here.
Really now?But...that's the worst intro ever! Lot of plot holes and redundant paragraphs. I can already imagine the readers screaming to the screen right now, shouting "The heck is dis shid!"
Whatever, you had your chance of writing the intro. Anyways stop jacking off in the corner.
Well fuck you too.
No homo.
Will's Point of View :
'Twas a good day actually, everything was going according to plan, except for a few misbehaviors from Frank. It started as a normal sleepover at Frank's house, before things took a turn for the worse. Contrary to what Frank said, I, in fact, had difficulty trying to sleep. That сука is always mumbling in his sleep. Sure! I went to disney dreamworld earlier than him, but all the mumbling woke me up.
Anyways, where was I? Oh right! The night at the sleepover. Not sure if it can be considered lucky or not, but after we went to sleep, a bright light shone upon us. And so the real story begins.
I woke up in a strangely familiar place. What the hell happened? Why's my head hurting so much? And…..JESUS, what happened to my clothes? I look like I came from a Stargate series.
Getting up, I scanned my surroundings. There were dozens of stone monoliths. Lush grasses covered the majority of the landscape, the sky was shining in a dazzling spectrum of blue. Luckily I can still feel my glasses attached to my head. I stared in awe at the beautiful sight around me, before coming back to my senses. I need to find a settlement! I thought to myself.
[Of all the things you can think to find in a strange,new place, you choose to find a settlement. Well done *facepalm*
Oh do shut up Frank, I'm trying to tell a story here!]
Scanning the horizon, I found what looked like houses. I can't tell for sure since it looked very futuristic, not from the age me and Frank lived in at least.
This all seems eerily familiar somehow, like I have been here before...
On closer inspection, I remembered why all of this looks so familiar, the mechanism of the doors, the technology around me, and the architecture of the houses, it's one of the planet in Mass Effect! It's Eden Prime! The stone monoliths were the exact same ones like in the game and are made by the Protheans!
The settlement was not large, but strangely, the houses were empty, there were no signs of life, except for some plants that were being taken care of by the automatic hydroponic system.
I take a walk around the settlement, looking for people. The only things I saw were raging fires, like the ones from the depth of the hellforge. The flames were bright in color, a blazing hue of orange-red, and beautiful in shape, enhancing the already beautiful landscape of the planet.
Suddenly, I heard a groan. I recognized it, it's Frank's. I need to reach him. Or so I thought to myself, but the fires seemed to be too hot for me to charge through. I tried to find my way across the raging flames, but everywhere I go, there was only destruction.
I walked around some more when I saw a small gap in between a bunch of crates that I could squeeze through.
I continue forward, the sound of Frank's groan getting louder, and there he was, still on the ground, mumbling over and over. He didn't even seem to know that he's on Eden Prime.
[*HADOUKEN!* I NEVER MUMBLE IN MY SLEEP WILL! NEVER!
Ooof…. Liar liar pants on fire!
You… if you mention that again, you will be administered another dose of Hadouken from Dr. Frank
This is my part and I shall tell it the way I like it! Anyways, back to the story, thanks for the interruption Mr. Mumbler, and sorry readers for my friend's behavior]
"ROCK! PAPER! NUTS!" In an instant, I kicked him right in the groin! I always like to look at the suffering faces of people. This was not an exception.
Frank clutched his groin where I kicked him and tried his best to get up. "You… scumbag…" he said. Clearly holding in the pain from the roshambo.
I stared at him for a while before making a big smile on my face. "Hahaha! Had a good sleep, little princess?" I said while bursting into laughter.
Frank was definitely pissed off right now, I can see it from his eyes. If I had not kicked his groin, he would've falcon punched me. Pretty sure in the same place.
Not long after, his eyes changed from ones full of anger to ones full of confusion. He asked, "Where are we? What happened here?"
Holding in my laughter, I said to Frank "You're going to have to figure that one out yourself, but let me give you some hints. We're not on Earth, nor are we in the universe we used to live in. But we are late, and we need to catch up, so stop being a pussy and get up, we got a long journey ahead of us."
Frank got up on his feet, looked around and said, "We need to get to a safe area, this place is burning, and I would hate to be a roasted human."
I maneuver around the flaming chunk of debris, with Frank following behind me. Along the way, Frank got more and more curious. He kept asking questions.
"Why is this place burning? What in the bloody hell happened? Did you pull some kind of elaborate prank on me?". Oh Frank, if only that were the case.
The only thing I said and the only thing I could say was, "I don't know what happened here Frank, nor do I know what happened to us after we went to bed, but something is definitely wrong, and I will find out why."
After minutes of exploring, Frank started to recognize the place "This… is Eden Prime isn't it..? The one in Mass Effect? The buildings… the fires…oh God, "Frank gasps, " You're not kidding when you said something is definitely wrong.."
"Glad you recognized it too Frank. Now come on, I think I found a way." I said as we walk through the linear pathway, into the depths of Eden Prime.
What will this day be like, I wonder.
Postscript :
So yeah, this is the first ever chapter, hope you guys enjoy it, and we love to hear all your critique, suggestions and reviews in this.
Also, if you manage to read the most redundant intro ever in the beginning, then you're AWESOME (or just bored)!
This has been BlueMist125 and SlimeBall8899, signing off.