Publishing Date: 2008.07.15
Disclaimer: Don't own a single cred's worth, and I've got nothing to scrounge for either, so I'll just have to hope for the grace of Lucas.
Era: EU
Characters: New Republic Fighter Pilots
Rating: T for Teen (takes place in a bar... It is pilots)
Summary: 3 Pilots and Scoundrel walk into a TapCaf...
A/N: Written after some friends had an entertaining experience at a tavern, and I was compelled to mark the occasion for historical purposes.
For the Honor of Orange
For the members of the New Republic's Starfighter Command, an informal debriefing after a big mission at the local tapcaf was more than a tradition, it was an institution. Many a tavern across the galaxy had been infiltrated by weary pilots telling tales, celebrating their survivals, and eulogizing the fallen in the name of camaraderie and unwavering loyalty. Most of the time this was a welcome event for all concerned…most of the time.
It had been a long and trying covert assignment for the group merrily making their way through the alleys in the netherworld of the Bilbringi Shipyards Station. They managed to uphold their end of the longstanding tradition with the rest of the squadron, in the approved tapcaf on the topside near their duty station. But the wing commanders of the Screaming Tauntauns had a little unfinished business of their own.
During the course of their undercover assignment, they found the need to employ the assistance of a less than reputable smuggler. Captain Mannison had been the first to raise objections about bringing in, not only a scoundrel, but a civilian, no less. But he was also willing to admit his mistakes, and when the man had proven his worth to the mission, the captain was also the first to embrace Chym Rrawkstr into their ultimate confidence. Or at least, he thought he was the first.
As they walked down into the lower levels of the station, the captain noticed that Chym seemed a little more than casual with one of his officers. Lieutenant Reerick Waalsciki was one of the best pilots to ever fly off the planet of Corellia, but watching her with Chym told him that she was also pretty good at piloting more than an X-Wing. He was fairly certain the rakish smuggler would hop on one foot and cluck like a bladderbird, if only she asked. And he was not the only one who had noticed.
Lieutenant Kedex Bazzok nudged his commanding officer and pointed his flask of prized Kashyykian Grakkyn at the obviously comfortable pair. In an exaggerated whisper, thanks to a few hits from that flask, "Hey, Hof, I guess the old scoundrel got his bonus, after all, huh?"
The big man's joke instantly brought a laugh out of the captain, and drew the attention of their other companions. However, the joke was turned around when Ree shot back at Ked with her own quick wit, "This is worth way more than a few extra creds, laser brain."
"And more thrills than a Malastarian Pod Race," added Chym.
The captain just shook his head at the flagrant display. It was not an unusual thing to hear one of his pilots bragging about their exploits, or their worth behind the controls of an X-Wing, but he was not prepared for it then. Not sober, anyway. "Okay, I haven't had nearly enough to drink for this conversation. Where's this tapcaf at anyway, Chym?"
The rumpled looking man craned his neck around and then pointed at a doorway across the passageway. "I think it's that one."
"You think?" Hof was a little concerned with the man's answer.
"Yeah, well, one joint is pretty much the same as any other down here; dark, loud, cheap and filled with characters." The smirk on his face said that he was not done with his explanation. "And the only place on this station I can walk in with a bunch of you orange breasted space jockeys and nobody'll bat an eyestalk."
All three pilots looked down to see their weathered orange flightsuits peeking out from their well-worn nerfhide jackets. They looked back up at one another and shrugged guiltily before bursting into laughter.
They were still laughing when they walked into the dimly lit and very crowded tapcaf. After a quick survey of the place, they discovered that the only available table in the joint was right by the door. Chym left them to have a seat while he walked up to the bar and put in the order for their first round of drinks.
When he returned to the table, he found Ked seated closest to the door and talking to some other patrons coming in the bar. Everything was all smiles as he took the seat between Ked and Ree. "What's up with them?"
Ree leaned over his shoulder and chuckled, "They thought Ked was the bouncer and he was messing with them."
"Messing, how?"
Before they could answer, another couple came walking into the tapcaf and were stopped by Ked. "You got some ID?"
The people seemed stunned at first, but they quickly withdrew their credentials and presented them to the burly pilot with the mock scowl on his face. "Just foolin' with ya… Have a good one, folks."
With the entrance of each person, the same scene unfolded, over and over again. And every time it got more and more hilarious to the group at the table. The constant flow of ale probably assisted with the humor of the situation, but regardless they were having a fantastic time.
Throughout the night, Ree got the distinct feeling that they were being watched. But the room was dark and with all the bodies crammed into the tapcaf, it was almost impossible to discern an actual presence. When she finally noticed the Nikto male slowly making his way to a spot near their table, his unwavering stares began to give her the creeps.
Her focus was brought back to the table when another couple tried to pass their crew. Ked immediately stopped them with the same mock aire of authority he had been using all night. "ID's."
The man instantly bristled at Ked's rigid request. He looked to the crowd assembled at the table, and the generally intimidating nature of each person there, before reaching into his jacket for his credentials. "Since when did the Republic start letting you space jockeys into the lower levels?"
Ked immediately dropped the ruse and laughed. "Just havin' a little fun, Councilor. Gotta get it where we can, ya know?"
The man and his companion smiled and nodded, "Enjoy the night, Lieutenant Bazzok." He tipped his hand to the others, "Gentlemen, Lieutenant Waalsciki."
Hof leaned forward with a questioning look and Ked let him in on the joke. "Councilor Thyyren…" He gestured at the man and his female companion as they disappeared into the crowd. "Me and Ree did an escort patrol for him and his wife a while back. Got a little hairy when Madame Thyyren was there to meet us on the platform when we landed on Tralus."
Ree slapped her fellow pilot on the back, as she laughed and added, "Ole Ked here took the other little woman into his arms and whisked her away before Madame figured out what was going on."
"And I'm willing to bet the Councilor isn't bringing Madame to an underworld tapcaf, so obviously the man has a death wish." Chym's analysis of the situation brought another round of laughter to the table.
Hof raised his glass at the man and said, "Keep thinking like that, Chym. It'll keep you out of trouble." He winked at Ree as he watched the two draw closer.
Ked leaned back in his seat and added, "And that's a lotta years with the same woman talkin' to ya, buddy."
Chym raised his glass and offered, "To a lotta years…for everyone." They all joined in on the toast and finished off the latest round.
Deciding it was his turn, Hof stood and walked over to the bar for more drinks. Upon returning, he saw that another person was about to fall victim to the same joke. As he looked at the table from a distance, he had to admit that they did look like the bouncers sitting there by the door. That, coupled with Ked's commanding and authoritarian demeanor, made it an easy mistake for anyone to make. But it was Ked's mischievious nature that really pulled the whole thing off.
He was a fierce opponent in battle, and probably one of the best wing commanders he had ever been given the privilege of serving with, but he was also a merry prankster of the first order. More times than not, it was Ked at the center of whatever trouble was brewing in the squadron. From the glob racers in the helmets, to spiking the punch at the formal dinners, Hof always knew where to look first. But he also knew that when the fire got hot, it was Ked's hand that would break through the flames to pull him out.
As he approached the table, Ked asked the young spacer about to walk through the doors for his ID. The kid looked confused and then frightened as he patted his jacket frantically. "I ah, I had it when I docked, but ah, it ah…" He looked around at the stern faces before him and swallowed hard. "I gotta go back and get it, sorry." And in a flash the kid was high-tailing it out of the tapcaf.
Ked immediately called after to the kid to let him know it was only joke, but he was gone. Ree got up and instantly went after the young man to bring him back.
Before anyone knew what was up, a large and incredibly irate Nikto appeared at Ked's side and began to shout incomprehensibly. It took a few moments before his garbled speech made any sense, and by that time he was also bellowing at Chym for the both of them to get out of the bar.
Ked tried to explain to the guy that he was only joking around, but the tavern's real bouncer obviously had no interest in what he had to say. It was not long before some of the other heavies in the bar joined the Nikto and ostensibly tossed the once merry pilots and their friend right out of the place.
As Ree trotted back to the door, with the kid in tow, she found her friends outside the bar with startled looks on their faces. She motioned the spacer inside and went to find out the story.
"Why in blazes are you nerfherders out here?"
Chym put his arm around her shoulders and proudly announced, "I've just been kicked out of the worst tapcaf in the Station with some of the finest people I've ever known."
GFFA GFFA GFFA GFFA GFFA GFFA GFFA GFFA GFFA GFFA GFFA GFFA GFFA GFFA GFFA GFFA GFFA
"And that my friends, is how General Bazzok started his reputation for being thrown out of every bar in the galaxy… I guess now that he's retiring, he'll start on the next galaxy. Right, Ked?" The old man raised his glass at the aging pilot in the center of the table. It was his supreme honor to preside over his oldest friend's retirement bash, and it gave Admiral Hof Mannison one more chance to tell the same tapcaf story that had been the staple of their friendship for many, many years.
"To getting thrown out of worse establishments with finer people…To Ked!"