Disclaimer: the usual, i don't own it, i didn't create it, i don't get any money from it.
Faith Showered, she had been surprised to find hot water, clean towels and clean sheets in the place .
She was pacing back and forth with pent-up energy, at first the big bed with soft sheets and lots of pillows looked inviting but after a few minutes of tossing and turning, her thoughts racing she knew that sleep was not the answer. She didn't exactly know what the answer was, but she knew it wasn't sleep. She didn't deserve sleep, not in Angel's bed, didn't deserve the comfort he was providing. She was lost in thought, pacing when she walked directly into Angel's chest.
Angel watched her pace, felt her animal like grace and the caged feeling she was projecting. He no longer had the vampire senses he used to, but it didn't take preternatural abilities to sense her fear. He was considering this when she turned and ended up with her face buried in her chest.
He put his hands on her shoulders, she tried to pull away but he held her for a moment, or perhaps two. When he finally let her go she backed away from him and headed over to the couch, sat down in classic Faith style, propping her feet up against the 17th century weapons chest that he used as a coffee table.
Faith: "place looks nice Angel, you've done wonders with it."
Angel: "yeah well, I come her to think sometimes, so um, I…"
Faith: "keep it all spic and span?" she ran a finger over the edge of the table and looked at it, showing the lack of dust.
Angel: "well, it's an investment, property, there's a woman comes in once a week, keeps it livable."
Faith: "that's right, you live now…congratulations on that by the way"
Angel: "Faith, look I'm not really sure what you want from me, but …
Faith wasn't sure what she wanted from him either and it was easier to be flip, to be a bitch than to have to actually think about what it was she wanted, what it is she needed, and why she was here.
Faith smiled, got up from the couch and headed towards him, the smile never left her face, the jeans she had stolen were a too big, but the light weight of the summer fabric showed the soft curve of her hips, the oversized T-shirt had the same effect on her upper torso. As a result, she managed to look both childlike and seductive at the same time. Angel backed away from her in an involuntary movement.
Faith: "What's the matter Angel? You scared of little ol' me? She continued moving towards him with feline grace
Angel: "not afraid Faith, just cautious, I'm um, ah , not sure what it is you want and well, he backed further until he was against a wall, there are some things I am not prepared to give."
Faith leaned towards him, and arm on either side of his body, she moved her neck and her lips were just inches from Angel's. He could feel her warm breath against his face. Feel his body responding to the heat of hers.
"Angel" she whispered
"Faith" Angel replied
she leaned in even closer, her body meshing with his
he groaned and put his arms around her and whispered into her ear "tell me what you want from me or get out…you won't get me this way"
Faith was frustrated and relieved but she showed only the frustration as she backed away from him.
Faith: :Dammit Angel, human vamp, soul no soul, it's always Buffy isn't it.
Angel: It is Faith, but that's not what this is about is it? You didn't come her to fuck me…did you? It was more a statement than a question.
Faith: Angel, I just…
Angel: You just what Faith, came for help and thought you would try to destroy whatever we had between us, just like you have with every other relationship? I won't let you Faith. I see you. I saw you back in LA reaching out for help, and I helped you then, and I trust you, and will help you now, but not if you're out to sabotage my life or use me as some pawn in your and Buffy's little sibling rivalry.
Faith just stared at him, tears starting to form in her eyes.
"you trust me"
"yeah, I do."
Faith smiled a little and Angel gave her a hug, soothing her, waiting for the tears he had felt coming since he first entered.
Faith was not the first nor would she be the last distressed damsel to revel in the almost unreal broad strength of his chest, she wasn't even the first to notice that the heartbeat that she felt beneath it was soothing, and that staying in this particular position, with Angel's arms around her might be the answer to eternity. Angel was however the first person faith had ever felt this with, and she sank into his chest for just a moment before she stiffened again and pulled away. Faith knew Angel was extraordinary. But trusting him with her feelings, all of them, was not something she was ready to even consider.
Angel felt her sink into him and for a moment thought it might have been this easy, and then he felt her stiffen again and he knew he was in for a hell of a battle before she was ready to trust him.
His mind flashed back to the last time he had seen her, and the last time he had fought her. It was in LA after she had tortured Wesley. He had known then what it was she had wanted. Was it possible that she still didn't know.
Faith pushed herself away from him angrily, the force would have sent Angel back against the wall if he hadn't already been there. She looked up at him.
"I didn't come here to hurt Buffy Angel, I mean, yeah it'd be nice to see her but I well, I'm trying not to destroy anything anymore. Trying to put that part behind me. But Angel, I haven't turned into Buffy either. Just 'cause I don't particularly feel the need hurt people anymore doesn't mean a hug and a pat on the back is gonna do it for me"
Angel looked at her, trying to be strong, stronger than she had to be…possibly stronger than she could be. He smiled, a half smile. "Faith, I'm not asking you to be Buffy, I'm asking you to be you. Is that possible?" he waited for a snide comment from her. Instead she had turned her back to him, taken a few steps away.
Angel had questions he wanted to ask her but they would all have to wait. He could wait. Hew was practiced at waiting but he wasn't sure how long he could keep the secret from the rest of them. How long he could keep her holed up in this house before it all blew up in his face.
Not for the first time since Angel became human he felt the press of time against him. It was an add feeling, unfamiliar. There was so much he wanted to do, so much he needed to do. And he had a finite amount of time now. Angel shook his head, dispelling his own dark thoughts as he focused again on the pain incarnate that stood before him.
"Faith" he watched the girl, her movements fluid and graceful as she walked out to the garden, it had been neglected when he bought the place, and still had the look of a discarded toy about it. Something that was once cherished and was now forgotten. Faith fit into the picture perfectly.
She wandered around the abandoned fountain. Angel watched her, wondering when she was going to trust him enough to tell him why she was here, what he could do to help.
"I'm going to New York you know."
"no I didn't" he had approached her slowly he was close to her now, he resisted the urge to reach out and touch her, to brush the black hair away from her pale skin. He put his hands in his pockets
"yeah I figure there's vamps galore on the east coast, maybe I can do some good there, make some money"
"redemption"
"jeez, Angel, do you always have to be so melodramatic?, I'm talking about using my strengths, literally and figuratively, and maybe you know turning a profit, having a place to live, building a life, as far away from Sunnydale as I can be."
"so your plan is to be as far away from here as possible… and yet… Here you are hiding from everyone. Acting as though they are your enemies. No one has asked you to leave Sunnydale Faith."
"Angel, that's because No one knows I'm here. Or did you tell Buffy"
"did you want me to tell her?"
"that's not the question"
"no, it isn't. the question is, Faith, how are you? And how can I help you?"
Angel waited, he wanted her to answer, truthfully, or as truthfully as was possible for Faith. Honesty was not her strong suit but well, Faith really only had one strong suit and it was violence. Angel looked at her face, considered the amazing amount of pain such beauty was capable of inflicting and pushed the thought out of his head. He brought himself back to the present.
"Faith?"
"Angel, I'm fine man, I it's just, well, um, I was thinking, ah,"
Angel waited
Fait turned her back on him and started to leave the house. "you know what, never mind, I can do this alone"
"no you can't Faith."
"Angel, I'm a slayer, maybe not as perfect and good as the all powerful Buffy, but I can take care of myself"
"no you can't Faith"
Angel had used the cocked eye stare, the caring concern and wait, the no response 'til they speak routine on a thousand girls in his day. He used it to break them, sometimes for altruistic purposes, other times for more…well, base reasons, it didn't matter these methods wouldn't work on Faith. They had worked on Cordelia, and still did on Buffy in certain situations but Faith was too deep in her own pain to notice others reactions. The blatant and painful truth seemed to be his only option.
"Angel, man, this is ridiculous. I don't know why I came here. You don't know why I came here. I shouldn't have come here. I am leaving here"
"Faith…don't go"
Faith turned to look at him and again he could see the tears coming to the surface, but just as clearly he could see her fight them back down, ignore them. "Angel, it's best that I go. We both know that."
"neither of us really know anything Faith, do we.". Her tall lean form had stopped pacing, stopped moving entirely it seemed, except for her hands, which continually clenched and unclenched into fists.
Angel considered the danger he was playing with. Even as a vampire he wasn't stronger than her, they were at best evenly matched. In this new human form she could tear him apart if she chose. He was literally trusting her with his life, pressing her like this. He hoped he was right in his instincts about her.
As a rule Cordelia didn't like keeping secrets. As an addendum to that rule she hated keeping secrets from Xander. They had been through so much and he knew everything about her. The only other person who knew her even half as well was Angel. There was a time, not too long ago when Angel was her last hope. And he had saved her, and now, it was Xander who she counted on. He knew details of her time with her ex husband that she could never bring herself to tell Angel.. And probably more importantly he shared her joy. They laughed and talked and after almost a year of marriage still managed to find interesting new things abut each other every day. But, she had promised Angel that she would tell no one that Faith was back in town. She bit her lip, and tried to convince herself that this wasn't lying, by not telling Xander. She didn't want to lie to Xander ever. Her last marriage had been based on so much lying and hiding, and cover up, she never wanted to go through that again. She was contemplating all of this, and mindlessly munching on a cracker when Xander came upstairs.
"hey"
"what?, oh , hi" she smiled
"Gloria just called, there's a place she wants us to see, a two family house over past the new high school."
Gloria was there overly frustrated real estate agent, who had been showing them houses for almost six months now without them being interested in a single one.
"A two family?"
"Yeah, we can move the inventory upstairs here and Willow can take the other half, you know so she doesn't have to be alone…and then the baby wont have to sleep in the oven" he smiled, their apartment was really small and when the baby came there would be no room at all.
"When does she want us to see it"
"Now, seems some woman came by to see it, thinks it perfect for her and her boyfriend"
"Well okay, let me just brush my hair"
"Cordelia, you look beautiful, and I have a delivery coming this afternoon, so "
She smiled at him and he stopped speaking. Her smile could still do that to him.
They walked, it was only a couple of blocks and the spring air was really lovely, besides, it was daylight, they were safe. When they got there the real estate agent was pacing out front.
"The other woman is still there, she say's she's considering, but she keeps asking really peculiar questions, I don't think she's really interested, but still, come in ant take a look the place is, I think, just what you are looking for, there is an apartment in the attic and room for two full families, with separate entrances.
Xander and Cordelia took each other's hands and walked into a moderate two-story house with nice hardwood floors, they looked at each other and smiled, the place felt good.
They wandered through the living room and noticed that the formal dining room wasn't as cramped as they sometimes are, the kitchen was an eat in, cozy but cute. Without saying a word they knew it might in fact be the right place for them. They frowned when they heard the questions coming from a familiar voice.
"And you're sure the couple died of old age…in their sleep, nothing weird about their deaths?"
Xander looked at Cordelia. They said in unison "Buffy"
An equally aggravated real estate agent was following the slayer into the dining room, "I promise you Miss Sommers, there was nothing untoward about the deaths here. The husband died about three months ago at the age of 78 and his wife died just two weeks ago, she was 76. No car crashes no neck aneurysms, nothing that even made the paper, other than the obituaries.
Buffy stood to consider the romantic options that the living room fire place allowed when she noticed Xander to her right.
"Xander hey, oh, and Cordelia what are you two doing…oh"
"well, never mind then," she said to her chipper and somewhat perky real estate sales woman." "these guys need it more than I do."
"No" Xander said, you two are living all cramped in that condo, you take it…"
the two frazzled real estate agents looked at each other. Were these people for real? No one gave away a perfectly good house in this market not even to friends.
The three of them smiled, and walked out of the house. "I'll um, call you" Buffy yelled back to Jennifer, or was it Jessica, she could never remember.
"so" Xander said "that place was nice." He looked pointedly at Buffy. "are you and Angel gonna take it?"
Buffy shrugged, "not if you two want it. What with the baby and all, you need the space. And the inventory is cramping the basement no?"
Cordelia frowned. "this isn't a problem. Why don't we just buy it together Then you and Angel have a place, Xander and I have a place and Willow can live in the upstairs apartment. We already see each other like, every day."
Xander shot a look at Buffy and wondered if her thoughts were headed in the same direction as his, from the slight wrinkle in her brow he would say so. "um, Cordy, maybe Angel and Buffy want their privacy."
"pfft, privacy? It's me, I mean us, Angel doesn't need privacy from me"
the wrinkle between Buffy's eyes became a deep trench, and her head began to throb. She was not going to live next to the other woman Angel loved.
Xander stared at Cordelia. He literally felt pain when he thought about how close she was with Angel. About the secrets he was sure they shared. Her words echoed through his head. "Angel doesn't need privacy from me" why not? Cordy had told him all about her horrible ex husband. About Angel's rescue. About everything except the one thing he needed to know most of all. What exactly was the nature of Angel and Cordelia's relationship before they came back to the hellmouth. What exactly was the nature of it now. Why would she NEVER feel the need to give Angel privacy? He turned away from her. "I have to go back, I'm expecting a shipment."
Cordelia watched him go. She knew he had little jealous flare ups regarding Angel, she kinda thought it was cute. But there was no reason for him to e jealous now. She hadn't even said anything to tease him. Her brow furrowed deeply enough to match Buffy's and she followed him home, allowing him space.
Buffy watched the little mini drama and would normally have been amused, but watching Xander she knew here concerns were not unfounded. There was more to Angel's relationship with Cordelia than either of them were saying. They were keeping secrets, and secrets were bad. She swallowed a lump in her throat and headed towards Giles'.
Angel glanced at his watch, it' was late, he needed to get back to Buffy, they were, if he remembered correctly in the middle of a tiff about his closeness with Cordelia. He had been here for hours but it felt like moments. And he wasn't sure he had accomplished anything. Faith was still as flip and distant as she had been when he had first arrived. There had been moments when he could see the exterior cracking…but they had been brief. Faith was as practiced at hiding her emotions as he was. She might be tough to crack but he had failed with her before. He couldn't let himself fail again.
Faith watched him, warily. He had continued to press her for her reasons. "why had she come back to Sunnydale?" "why had she contacted him?" "what was she looking for?" She hadn't given him an honest answer because the truth was she didn't know. Well, in the deep recesses of her mind she could admit to herself what she wanted, but she would never acknowledge that desire. Not to him, not to herself in the light of day. Instead she stayed sarcastic, even a little hostile. It was the best way she knew to handle all these bizarre feelings.
She saw angle glance at his watch and became furious. And sad. It was always Buffy, he was just doing his duty, spending a little time with the poor little loser Faith before he went back to his life, his girlfriend, his friends, his wonderful world of humanity. She swallowed hard, pretended she didn't' mind that she was nothing more than a task on his list of things to do... people to save.
"Angel, man, I'm good, you go, you must have stuff to do right?"
"suns almost down, Buffy and I gotta patrol"
"right"
"Faith, I'll be back…you'll be okay?"
"Angel, when haven't I been okay?" she smiled at him
Angel considered an honest answer one that reminded her that in all the time he'd know her she had never been OK, but he decided now was not the time.
"Faith I'll be back soon, tomorrow afternoon probably"
Faith smiled at him again.
The smile disappeared from her face as soon as he turned his back on her to head off home.
After Angel left Faith paced some more she considered doing a little patrolling of her own, but with her luck she would come across someone she knew. She watched the sun go down and was overwhelmed, as usual with sadness over another wasted day.
She took another shower. Since she had gotten her body back, all those years ago she had felt a sort of constant discomfort in her own skin. Showering helped, she could concentrate on the water on the physical sensations and she didn't' have to feel her mind twisting and spinning as thought it were trying to tell her something she didn't want to know.
When she got out of the shower she found one of Angel's old shirts in the closet, it was a black button-down, the cotton must have once been crisp, now, with many washings it had become soft…it smelled like him, she lay down on the bed and tried to sleep. The quiet was oppressive, she stood up and turned on the radio that lay next to the bed. She turned it from the classical station to something with a little more edge. The screaming guitar was just what she needed to calm her nerves and within minutes she was asleep.
Angel and Buffy didn't' speak, they each grabbed a weapons bag and patrolled silently, dusting a couple of random vamps but not encountering anything our of the ordinary. They retired to separate quarters, she to look through some magazines in the kitchen, he to finish a book Giles had leant him in the living room.
Eventually the silence aggravated Angel, he could no longer sit and listen to her not talk to him. He got up, and stood in the kitchen door way, she pointedly ignored him, he turned and walked away in disgust.
He walked, pretending he didn't know where he was headed…Knowing exactly where he was going.
He considered knocking when he to the house but disregarded the idea. It was HIS house. He walked in, the noise from the radio assailed him, it was loud rock music, a type he had never learned to appreciate, but he wasn't surprised it was the kind of stuff Faith was into. He smiled to himself when he saw her asleep above the covers on his bed. She was wearing one of his old shirts and she looked, for the first time since he had known her, at peace. She had apparently showered before bed and her wet hair had dried around her head in black/brown waves. He gave in to the urge and touched it. It was silkier than he could have imagined. He saw her smile in her sleep.
He sat gently on the bed, stroking her hair, careful not to wake her. She woke, and looked up, when she saw his face she smiled. He couldn't have heard what she was saying, even if she had chosen to say anything, the music was too loud for that, almost too loud for thought.
She sat up, but didn't flinch when his hand moved a stray lock from her face. She reached out her hands, broken nails, tentative movements, and she touched his face. He almost moaned at the gentle sensuality of that single touch. She leaned in closer to kiss him and this time he did not pull away, he gave in to it, allowed her mouth to ravage his, allowed her to stroke his tongue with her own, and he could feel her heat and her desire and something else, an almost desperation, and therein lay his weakness. Angel was nothing if not a sucker for a women in desperate straits. She stood up and he remained seated, she fit so perfectly standing between he knees, she fumbled with the shirt buttons and he helped her, slowly and deliberately exposing just a small amount of skin at a time, stroking each newly available section with his thumb and then his mouth, kissing every inch of her until the shirt fell to the floor and her beautiful and perfect breasts were revealed. He moaned with desire as she lowered herself, barely resting her weight on his knee, her thigh stroking his growing erection.
She pushed him backwards on the bed, still kissing him and somewhere in his mind he noted her expertise in taking control. But he didn't' want her to be in control, he didn't want her to Take him, he wanted her to know how much he wanted this too. He wrapped his arms around her waist and rolled her over onto her back. She looked up at him questioningly, expecting him to get up and leave at any moment, but he didn't. instead he slid down the bed, kissing her at every stop on the way to her ankle.
Then he lifter her leg off of sheets and kissed his way back to his ultimate destination.
He kissed and licked her ankle and then along her calf, up to her knee, and reveled in the soft tender flesh of her inner thighs, licking and sucking, and teasing.
Faith squirmed under his careful ministrations but he did not speed up his actions. Instead he methodically made sure to taste every inch of her thighs before burrowing his head into her center, finding a very slick and warm sheath waiting for him. But still he did not mount her. He wanted this to last, wanted to taste her come onto is tongue, and then around her fingers before he entered her. He buried his nose and tongue, finding the nub that she continually had been thrusting towards him, he licked at it, and sucked at it, all the time teasing her opening with his thumb and when he felt her movements become more desperate he slowed down, heard her whimper, and then began again, bringing her to the brink and then pulling her back several times before he curved his fingers and thrust them inside of her, never letting his mouth lose it's purchase on her clit, and he heard her scream and felt her body convulse. He did not stop though.
He didn't stop when he felt her begin to climax a second time, instead he moved his lips higher, to her breasts, and then to her mouth, and he let her taste herself on his lips as he entered her. She wrapped her legs around his waist so tightly he had almost no room to thrust into her, instead they rocked together, her clit rubbing gently against his body, his erection finding a hot wet home insider her. He pulled one of her legs from around his waist and held it in the air, and then grabbed the other one. Faith was there before him, her head flipping back and forth on the pillow, her hands balling the sheets in her fists, he hair like black silk billowing around her. Her breasts heaving and he began to fuck her in earnest then, pulling almost completely out before thrusting back in, watching the glory of her body as it reacted to his treatment. When he was about to come he put her legs on his shoulders, and his hands on her breasts and he looked into her eyes, thrusting hard until he could hold back no longer. He felt her begin to come as well, and together they jumped over the edge of pleasure. She screaming his name, him crying out nonsense syllables of pure pleasure.
And when he looked into her eyes again they were the blue green he knew so well, and he heard Buffy's voice come from Faith's mouth. "mmmmm she said, the perfect yum"
Angel woke up with a start.
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