-1A/N: Ok, so hopefully you know the Tyler-Twin/Within Temptation series by Lady Clark-Weasley Of Books if you are reading this. If not it won't make the least bit of sense and I ain't going to explain it. Thank you Stephie for letting me borrow JJ for this! It's set at the end of What Have You Done? please R&R.
Wrong Love:
JJ turned over in bed and Gwen's arms automatically wrapped themselves round him. She was so gentle, she wanted to be there for him. She wanted to say all the right things to make it better, but there were no right words. There was nothing she could do, except right now hold him close. Let him know she was there if he did want her. For a moment he didn't move. For just a moment he stayed there. For that same moment he didn't think, for that moment Alex Rose wasn't on his mind.
It was only a moment though, a short moment that ended as quickly as it started. It didn't matter that Gwen was there, no one matter because Alex Rose was gone. Yes he loved Gwen, he loved her so much, but Alex Rose was his twin sister. He was only half of himself without her. He felt so empty, there was a part of him missing and only Alex Rose could bring it back. Only Alex Rose could make him whole again. Only Alex Rose. The one person he needed more than anyone or anything in the world was the one person he couldn't have. He moved away from Gwen. She sighed slightly. JJ had only just started coming back to bed again but he still wasn't sleeping. He hadn't got any sleep since his twin's 'death'. He couldn't even try to hide how broken and lost he was. It broke Gwen's heart seeing JJ like this, knowing there was nothing she could do to help it. She didn't move once JJ moved away from her. She didn't think it would be fair on him to push him when he didn't want to be, but she wanted nothing more than to be able to hold him close.
After a minute of lying just facing the ceiling and letting the silent tears run down his eyes, JJ got out of bed and walked into the living room. He was still dressed in his clothes, having never bothered to change into night clothes before making the pointless effort of getting into bed. Once in the living room he curled up on the sofa, he was tired; he hadn't slept in weeks, and he was tired of struggling through the day without Alex. Alex Rose had been the brave, sarcastic, loud one, while he'd been the quieter, more cautious one. They were two sides of one coin, they were only whole together. He needed her. Gwen had been right, though, when she told him that Alex Rose would hate him for not taking care of himself, but he really just didn't see the point. He couldn't motivate himself into doing the simple everyday things. He couldn't force himself to sleep when sleep didn't come.
'Sweetie' Gwen followed him into the room. 'Please, talk to me'
'What do you want me to say?' JJ asked.
Gwen sat down on the sofa beside him. 'Tell me what you're thinking about. Tell me why you aren't bothering with anything. Let me help'
'I'm think about my sister' JJ meant to snap but his voice came out too tired. 'I'm not bothering because I can't, there's no point. And unless you can bring her back there's nothing you can do to help'
'JJ, I understand how you feel' Gwen started.
'No you don't' this time JJ's attempt at snapping was more successful. 'Do you have a twin sister? Do you know what it's like to have someone who is everything to you? Literally a part of you? Do you know what it's like to have that ripped away from you? No, you don't. You don't know the beginning of how I feel.' as he spoke he started to put his trainers on. 'You can't possibly understand'
'Then tell me' Gwen stressed. 'Help me to'
JJ jumped to his feet and walked towards the front poor. 'Gwen, you couldn't possibly ever understand; you're not Alex, it's as simple as that'. He walked out the door, leaving Gwen watching him, both of them looking heartbroken.
JJ~JJ
JJ just walked around, not taking any notice where he was going. Every so often he wiped the tears from his eyes, but he was barely conscious of the fact that he was crying. He felt numb. He knew his mind was on Alex Rose, that's why he was crying, but he wasn't sure exactly what it was he thinking about. The night air was cool and calming. It helped calm him down but that was the only thing it helped. Nothing to help to heal the Alex shaped whole in his heart, nothing but Alex herself, and that was impossible.
He hadn't been to snap at Gwen, he hadn't been to be so harsh. He had meant what he said though, she couldn't possibly understand and it was only Alex Rose who could. Gwen had always been there for him though, she promised to wait as long as it took him and she stood by that promise. She was there for him but she never pushed him, she hovered in the background, never too far but never too close. He was falling apart but he knew he'd be even more of a mess without Gwen there. She was making him keep hold on the tiny bit of sanity he had left.
JJ~~JJ
'I'm sorry' JJ said as soon as he got back in. 'I'm so sorry'
'Oh sweetie' Gwen said. JJ fell into her arms and let her hold him closely. 'It's ok, it's ok'. She lead him through to the living room, and he curled up against her on the sofa. He buried his head in her shoulder and she just held him there as he cried.