A/N: Ah yes, my second Naruto fic, this time around my all-time favorite character, the overly violent, overly insolent, always cranky, Gaara Of The Sand. In this little ficcy, our favorite youngest of the sand nins tries to find something to eat for his daily midnight snack. Sadly, this is going to take not only alot of work... but even talking to a few of Konoha's best and brightest... Ok... let's all pray for a moment that Gaara doesn't kill EVERYONE. As always, I don't own Naruto, I wish Hinata owned me, I wish could give Kabuto and Itachi the PWNAGES of their lives....

Gaara's Midnight Snack:

Chapter One: The Last Piece Of Cake

Another night in the calm quiet of Sunagakure, or Sunaga, the Village Of The Sand. As Adults began shuffling from jobs, or meeting old friends to talk the talk and take a take on current events, kids lied their heads down on soft pillows of cotton or wool or some other stuffing of pillow. Of course, this was not the same for some kids or teenagers... Namely, the children of the Kazekage....

Gaara sat down on the couch, silently thumbing through a newspaper, his slippers on his feet, his feet on the futon as he read through current events, mumbling something as he got to his favorite column, the obituaries, muttering as he read the names of the recently deceased, almost exactly like a football fan who had found his favorite teams had won or loss that day...

"Jinei died at 43... damn him... dying in the shower by slipping. Pathetic. Ooh... Amouki was slayed by 7 nukenin.... Head chopped off... Nice. Very nice." The aqua green eyes of the violent young sand genin flashed up as he heard feet scuttle around him. Gaara wore a long black T-shirt and under it, comfortable soft pants of his own knitting, with patterns of skulls and sandcastles twirling around. The young red-head rubbed his eyes, the black around them increased for a moment. He stood up, tapping his forehead as if he was forgetting something, no longer wanting to read the death "scores"... He needed his snack... He could eat a piece now and leave the rest for later tonight. Maybe he'd watch his old Extreme Championship Taijutsu with the Nudley Girls taking on Not Too Credible in a handicap Shuriken filled table match... Gaara smiled, remembering how Credible couldn't even eat mashed potatoes after that match.... He went to the kitchen...

The older brother wanted to sleep as badly as possible... Ok scratch that... He wanted to eat, then sleep as badly as possible. Tomorrow was a Saturday, and that meant no missions, which meant sleeping ALL day. He looked through the fridge, eyeing anything that could be edible.... It was the last slice of double chocolate cake... With mocha spinkles... and... Dare Kankuro dream it... chocolate mousse creme frosting... It... Was a gift from the gods. He looked for a fork... There it was. Yes, this cake was about to get owned...

Gaara stood there, his eyes widening silently... It... was gone. It... the cake... His chocolate cake... Double chocolate cake damnit... with the mocha sprinkles... and the... the creme... not cream damn it... creme... the really fancy stuff... Gaara fell on his knees and openly wept, covering himself in a fetal position... As he lied on the tile floor, a young blonde genin wearing her usual fishnet and leather, keeping on her back a green sleeping roll and bag strapped to her back, as well as her giant metal fan. Temari bent down to Gaara's level, putting a hand on his shoulder, to which he suddenly wrapped his arms around her, weeping openly...

"Temari... someone... cake... ate..." Gaara managed to mumble, using his older sister's outfit as a tissue. Temari shook her head, wondering who would do this? Or how for that matter? The three of them together could easily kill even the quietest shinobi of this village. Easily. It had to be done when they weren't looking or something. Temari couldn't think at the moment though, as she had to get to that sleepover, but then how many times did her little brother do this? It was his midnight snack... Suddenly they both heard a burp and looked up. A pair of tealish aqua green and a pair of hazel eyes looked as crumb faced Kankuro tossed a plate into the sink, filling it a little with water, then looking down at the scene his siblings caused....

"What?"

Gaara stood up, his eye twitching silently, followed by red veins in his eyes, flashing immensely as he slowly held his hand out to kill his brother...

"You.... ate... my... cake... You... evil... EVIL... BAKA!!!! I KILL YOU! I EAT YOUR CHILDREN!"

The redheaded genin snarled sounding much like Shukaku, going for the jugular of his older brother, but Temari grabbed him just in time, stopping Gaara's hand just an inch short as he fell to the ground... After a varying 15 minutes of arguments, squeals, and blood soaked sand flew around...

"Ok... Gaara. I apologize to you for eating your midnight snack."

"Kankuro. I forgive you, and will now leave to find a new snack."

The two brothers merely looked at each other with calm eyes, although Kankuro knew the only reason he wasn't already laying on a stretcher because of Temari. The blonde smiled cheerfully, kissing Gaara on the cheek and giving an insolent glare to Kankuro as she left their home for a sleepover she had been invited to... Gaara left Kankuro there to fear for his life as he began to get dressed. He grabbed his gourd, strapping it around him, putting on his clothes. Damnit... Now he'd have to get something to eat. His stomach grumbled at him like an unfed rocweiler. He needed his nightly snack damnit. He went outside, popping the cork off his gourd, as he took sand, molding it into... a unicycle. He jumped on and began peddling, taking out a bottle of his favorite night drink, Triple frappucino mocha chocolate arabian java latte'... The drink of insomniacs and violent mass murders everywhere... Straight from a little cafe known as Shurikenbucks.

Now all Gaara had to do was find something to eat... Maybe Someone in Konoha had the cure...

A/N: First chapter... Hope that wasn't too bad. I tried to make it funnier, but I'm sure as the story picks up, we'll see some odd things. Also, I hope you guys are already wondering who Gaara is going to get a cure for his midnight snack ailment... R&R, Criticism welcomed!