I wrote this when I felt bad about a boy I really, really like. After reading it again, I realized this was a bit how Hermione felt in the 6th book. This story is based on my own feelings and life. You can read it from Hermione's PoV or mine...
Is this the feeling called love? Why does he need to be so perfect , so loveable and above all why does he need to be so popular? Yes, he is popular but he doesn't know himself. I'm sure there are so many girls who crush on him, or is that just my feeling?
I feel like dying inside, because the person I need the most doesn't need me as much as I do. I wonder why, There's no one who could love him more than I do, I'm sure. But then there's her does she hold him like I do? Does she need me like I do? Does he need her like I need him? I don't want to be alone, when I'm alone, I start thinking. I don't want to be with friends, when I'm with friends I need to pretend everything is alright.
God, I miss him, It's been almost 2 weeks since our last hug. I felt like a part of me was leaving with him, I'm not complete anymore. I'm myself with him, I can lay next to him without saying a word for ours just watching the stars. I can fall asleep on his shoulder, cause I know he will take care of me, 'cause it just feels so natural.
I'm standing on the edge of giving up and waiting for how much I can take. So much happened this year, but he helped me through it all. My friends keep telling me how sweet we are together, but it doesn't make things better, it just make me realize even more how much I need him.
He's such a gentleman, but he doesn't know himself. I don't want to break anything, our friendship is too special. His hugs are way too long for 'just friends', his words too patient, his eyes too emotional. He's too careful, too thoughtful, too many hugs are given. I would give the world for him, but would he do the same? It's strange how he's the only one who can fix this when he's the who makes me feel this way. He makes me laugh and cry, he makes me feel better and worse even though he doesn't know about those last things he does know there's something wrong, but how can I tell him? I just can't. I can hate her, but it doesn't make me feel any better. I don't think she knows how lucky she is. And I think I'm terribly, terribly in love. It's something I never felt before, he doesn't know how he's changing me.
God, I love him, I love him with my whole heart. And I don't think I will ever get over this. I can't wait forever even though it's what I want to do, I can't spend my days waiting for him, for him to realize how much I need him. One day I will tell, I'm sure, maybe tomorrow, maybe in 10 years.
All I want is to hold him close. He's the one I want to spend my life with, and I'm only 16. People say it's just young love, but I don't think so, it's been more than a year since I met him, I don't know when I realized I was in love with him, I must have been a week after I met him. When he broke my heart by finding a girl. I will see him again soon, and I hope he realizes one day that I mean something to him. That's all I can wish for, when we saw a shooting star he told me to make a wish. I wished I could stay on that spot forever, wearing his sweater and his arm around me because I was cold, just watching the stars. We fell asleep there, my head on his shoulder and his head leaning against mine. That very moment was magical to me but it made me know how it felt to have something I'll never have…