Ho hum. There I was on New Year's Eve, dateless, and at work.
Yeah, normally those things are mutually exclusive, but when you're in love with a co-worker, you throw all the rules out the window.
I can't exactly pinpoint when this all happened. OK, truth be told, I did have a bit of a girl boner for him back in the day, before I knew him. But when we met, well, I don't know... He was a handsome jerk, with a bad attitude, so arrogant and bitter and cynical.
Still found him pretty hot, though.
But by then I had a serious boyfriend, soI made it my mission to befriend him, since we worked together. Plus I really enjoy a challenge! And it was tough, because my naturally sunny demeanor and love of bright colors and cheery music and pop culture was the complete opposite of his grim outlook and nose to the grindstone, pull yourself up by your bootstraps mindset. Frankly, I annoyed him, he annoyed me, we clashed and we argued. We dated lots of people (well, at least I did) but the attraction remained - I just pushed it aside. I felt some vibes coming from him too, now and then.
Slowly but surely I won him over, and against his better judgement, we became friends. I got to really know him in the process. He changed a lot since then, becoming kinder and more open - and I accept full credit. So how could I not fall for him?
Total cliche, right? Of course I didn't recognize it, because I was wrapped up dating, as Danny put it, know that whole "can't see what's standing right in front of you" thing? Yeah. That happened.
So somewhere along the way things started to tip from "Danny is my dear, frustrating friend" to "Danny is my friend and it's frustrating me." There were such subtle changes, admittedly more from Danny's side than mine, so it's hard to give things a precise timeline.
But I'm kinda thinking maybe it was that time in the lounge, right before I went to Haiti, when he fixed my glasses and gazed into my eyes and I felt my heart stop beating for a moment and I think he almost kissed me.
Which was super weird, because we were both happy with other partners, or so I thought. So it would have been a terrible mistake that could have wrecked our friendship and other relationships, even though those eventually ended.
Even though I had really wanted it right then.
I filed that away because I was sure that Casey was my soulmate and all that other nonsense. I guess that moment was just like a little ember that kept on smoldering (oh! so! romantic!) until finally it caught a spark. Or someone left some oily rags near an open flame, but that isn't nearly as romantic sounding, right? But probably more accurate.
Anyway, this awkward revelation occurred right when my latest obsession, Cliff, made a big romantic gesture and broke up with his girlfriend for me. It was lovely of him, really. So I felt bad letting him down. It would never have worked anyway - I'm pretty sure Heather would have murdered us in our sleep.
And that leads us to New Years. I'm a patient person. I knew I had to leave it to Danny to make a move, especially after I had given him an invitation that he declined. I totally forgave him for that, because he was grieving over that gingerbread mansion, but I wasn't going to just put myself out there again. I have my pride.
Plus Danny is pretty macho and controlling so he need to thinks he is in charge. Ha! Foolish man. But I'm good with letting him think that as long as it gets me what I want, and since what I wanted was him, I had to be patient.
But... there's only so much waiting a girl can do.
Danny had been acting weird to me since the Christmas party. More like the old Danny, he was being snippy and aloof. He acted like that for a little while after I got back from Haiti but I had assumed it was just residue from his ugly breakup with Christina. Now I was just puzzled.
Because i am so selfless and giving, I had volunteered to be on call for the holiday. Who doesn't want to deliver the first baby of the year? I'd totally get on TV. So of course none of my patients were even close! I lived too far to go home and chill so there I was biding my time, so bored, on the couch in the lounge. I had already run out of change for the vending machine. I finished reading all the Facebook updates and I really didn't appreciate all the fun everyone in the world was having! I even Facebook stalked a little... how all my exes moved on so quickly was disturbing. Not even Casey was ruined for other women.
I was laying on the couch watching yet another reality show marathon when Danny walked in. I was so happy to see him it was embarrassing.
"Danny!" I shrieked, sitting up and pulling down my scrub top which had somehow climbed up to expose my stomach.
"Hey." He just went to the vending machine without even a glance at me.
"Oh, um, they are out of peanut M&Ms, I don't know..." I crammed the wrappers in between the seat cushions. Danny just grunted, staring at the machine.
"Danny, why are you here? Come watch TV with me! I am sooooo bored!"
"Nope. I'm not ending this year with the Kardashians."
"We can change it, I don't care! Danny I'm desperate..." I emphasized that word by writhing on the couch and holding my hands up to beg him. He didn't even look at me! I just didn't understand why he was acting like this. I hadn't done anything!
"Mrs Keller thought she was in labor, so I came in, but it was a false alarm, so I'm going back home."
"Fine, Danny. I just didn't want to be alone." I sighed and tucked my legs up on the couch, turning away from him. He could be so damned stubborn.
But he paused, sneaking a tiny sidelong glance at me, and I knew he would stay. He rubbed his face with one hand and I noticed how weary he looked, and that worried me. "OK I'll stay for a minute." He sighed and sat down on the other side of the couch, grabbing a newspaper from the table.
I waited for him to speak for probably five minutes and then I flung myself to his side of the couch. Grabbing his arm with one hand, I pulled the paper away with the other.
"If you're just going to read the paper it's like you aren't even here. Talk to me!"
"Your breath smells like chocolate."
"I only had quarters, Danny, I couldn't order a pizza."
He shook his head and still wouldn't look at me.
"OK, so, talk." I poked him with my foot.
"OK. So, Mindy, what have you been up to lately?" He was using his fake cheery voice which. I hated because he only used it to mock me but I wasn't going to fall for it.
"Well, I beat my record. I ate 104 Gummi Bears!"
He wiped his brow. "You actually counted?"
"I did!"
"That's a... remarkably nauseating achievement."
"Thank you!" I leaned over to nudge him with my arm and to my surprise he actually moved slightly away, like my touch repulsed him. Ouch.
Well, I don't let sleeping dogs lie.
"Danny, what's going on? You've been acting strange lately." I studied his face, which was hard when he still refused to face me. He just frowned and shook his head.
"You look really tired."
He exhaled loudly again, and his answer was curt. "I AM tired, Mindy. I was here all last night with an emergency c-section and I barely got home before I had to turn around and come back. That's why I wanted to go."
Well shit, didn't I feel like a jerk.
I put my hand on his forearm and apologized, squeezing it a little. He turned his head slightly, enough to look at my hand.
"Danny, I'm sorry, I had no idea. You should have told me. Go home, you must be be exhausted!"
I admit, once I had my hands on him, it was hard to control my impulses. As I talked, my fingers were nervously tracing little patterns as I rubbed his skin. The inside of his arm was so soft, it was ridiculous. I looked down and realized what I was doing, and when I looked back up, Danny was finally looking at me.
Boy howdy, was he ever.
I don't know how long we sat there locked in each other's gaze. Danny has these eyes, I can't describe them with any words in the dictionary, they're just... intense doesn't even cut it. What is with this man and longing glances in the lounge?!
He finally broke the eye contact. I think I was holding my breath because when I finally inhaled, I felt lightheaded.
"Naw, I'm OK. I don't want to leave in case Mrs Keller comes back..."
"I'm here, Danny. You didn't sign up for this and you need to sleep."
He just shrugged.
"Well at least go sleep in the on-call room. You're gonna make yourself sick."
Stubborn just sat there.
"Danny, lack of sleep is dangerous. You could drop a baby!" I think I was thawing him out, because he chuckled.
"With these big hands, Min? I can hold triplets without fear." He held up his hands and a smile flitted across his face.
"You DO have huge paws, Danny." I reached up and pressed my palm against his, and my tiny delicate fingers looked even more miniature.
"You know what that means..." I said coyly.
Danny pulled his hand away. "Big gloves, ha ha. You know that joke plays a lot better when you haven't actually seen the size of the person's penis."
Well thank you, Danny Castellano, for putting THAT image into my mind. And of course, I had to make it worse.
"Well it doesn't count that way..." I stammered. "It's not like I've seen it in action."
Yeah. It would have been horribly embarrassing enough to say that, alright. But I didn't say that. No, what I actually said was "it's not like I've seen it in action YET."
Good lord, one word sure changes the meaning of a statement. And is it possible to die of blushing? Because I think I almost did. I immediately realized the implications of what I said and stared at my hands, which were clasped tightly in my lap. The heat in my face was surpassed by the heat I felt elsewhere. I finally dared to peek at Danny and he had the biggest shit-eating grin. Oh god oh god oh god.
"Yet?"
"Shut up Danny."
I grabbed the tv remote and flipped channels around. I had to change the topic quick.
"Just sleep here then, Danny. I'll move over and you can lie down." I scooted to the other end of the couch and Danny just smirked, then lifted his feet up and swung them my way.
"Oh hell no, Danny! Get those stinking things away!"
"What? You just said..."
"Danny I meant lie down the other way. Put your head in my lap." He raised an eyebrow. I grabbed a pillow from behind my butt and set it on my legs. Danny scooted over and stiffly laid his head on the edge of the pillow, not really on me at all. I stifled the urge to run my fingers through his hair. He must have been pretty tired because in no time he was asleep.
And then I guess I fell asleep too, because the sound of the TV being turned off woke me up. A pleasant looking nurse made a "sorry!" face and fled the room. Damn environmentalists.
Danny was awake then too, sitting up and rubbing his eyes. We just looked at each other awkwardly.
"Danny, go home."
He grinned and shook himself. "Naw, I'm good now." He started stretching and my eyes glazed over watching his muscles ripple.
"Min. You have a little drool there."
I frantically rubbed my chin. It was sleep drool, honest! Danny leaned back against the couch and put his feet on the table, arms behind his head. Then he turned and looked at me. For a guy who wouldn't meet my eyes a few hours ago, he was sure feeling easy about it now.
I turned to face Danny and crossed my legs, crisscross applesauce. "OK Daniel. If you're going to stay here and annoy me, let's play a game."
Danny glanced around. "Uh... You got cards?"
"No, we're going to play What Would You Do." He gave me a quizzical look.
"You just have to make up a scenario and ask what the other person would do. You have to answer as quick as you can."
Danny grimaced. "Aw Min, that sounds terrible."
"No it's really fun! I'll start. What would you do if fruit was made illegal?"
"That's the dumbest question I've ever heard."
"Dumb questions are fine, Danny! Just answer, don't think about it. If you don't answer right away I win!"
"Fine. I'd start a hydroponic strawberry garden and my own underground strawberry cartel. Happy?"
"That's so cute, Danny! I love strawberries."
"I know..." he muttered.
"OK you ask me a question!"
"Aw geez. I don't know. What would you do if stupid games were illegal?"
"Danny you can't just use another thing and make it illegal. Try again"
He just stared at me. A smile played about his lips, which made me look at his lips, which made me think about his lips. Oh vey. I looked back into his eyes. They were twinkling. When he spoke, his voice was gravelly and slow.
"What would you do... if I kissed you?"
Thud.
It was really rude of whoever it was to suck all the air out of the room just then.
I opened my mouth to say something, anything, but all that came out was a squeaky noise. His goddamn lopsided smile spread across his face and he turned back to the tv.
"I win."
I sort of sputtered and choked. "I didn't answer yet!" My voice was oddly high pitched. I didn't sound like me at all.
He just shrugged and rolled a glance at me. "Too slow. Your rules. No thinking."
Dammit.
Something seemed to break in me. Just the thought of kissing him, hearing those words from him, looking into his eyes, I just couldn't stand it. The frustration was just bubbling up inside and I couldn't keep it contained.
"Danny."
My voice cracked.
His head whipped around and our eyes met again. In an instant he closed the distance between us and then he was kissing me.
So you know how in those romantic comedies, when the couple finally kisses, the music swells and there's fireworks and birds singing? None of that happened. His elbow jabbed me and he got caught in my hair and I kneed him in the junk.
Best. Kiss. Ever.