TITLE: Mother's Milk
AUTHOR: VIDZ
PAIRING: slight Harm/Skates
TIMELINE: S5
DISCLAIMER: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc of the TV show JAG are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author of this fic. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. The song, lyrics and melody of the song "Look on the bright side of life" belong to their rightful owners. No copyright infringement is intended.
SUMMARY: some people just take some things a little too seriously. Whether this observation is true is a completely philosophical, subjective view and there was little doubt Harm's and Skates' opinions on this matter differed.
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Why did I have to end up with the wacko driver? were Skates' thoughts as she stood on the deck of the carrier, watching her pilot caress the Tomcat's fuselage in a disturbingly loving fashion. It was almost like a lover's caress, there was so much gentleness and tenderness in those hand-moves and the light in the man's eyes...
She was beginning to get the idea how much it meant to him to be flying actively again, but this was getting ridiculous. If nothing else, they were fast attracting strange looks, not only from the deck personnel, but from their own squadron mates as well. Not just that, the mechanics were starting to look at Harm as if they were starting to suspect him he was trying to sabotage the plane!
As always, Buxton was never one to let an opportunity to make fun of someone pass him by, making the small RIO regret she'd decided to wait for her teammate instead of going on ahead.
"Hey, Pappy, it's a good thing the Cat doesn't have an exhaust pipe otherwise you would've been making sweet love to it right about now!"
The others heard Buxton's words and had a good-natured laugh and cat-calls at Harm's expense. Skates was sorely tempted to yell back some unflattering words, but Harm could take care of himself. Aaaaaaaaaand she didn't want to draw attention to herself.
"Up yours, X-man." Harm yelled back, more annoyed at being interrupted than irritated at the words themselves.
Then, giving the plane a last loving pat on the underside Harm turned to go only to immediately stop in surprise upon seeing his RIO still waiting for him. The tiny brunette's expression was part exasperation, part boredom and part annoyance.
Giving her an unapologetic grin, Harm shrugged and slowed down so she could keep up with him without having to run.
"Geez, you're like a baby with his mother's breast." Skates muttered lowly, still under the impression of Harm's love trance, but not silently enough. She was still overheard by her superior officer and driver who couldn't let go such an act of insubordination.
Moving with a speed that belied his size Harm took her in a headlock and quickly rubbed the knuckles of his fist over the top of her head, messing up her bun and grinning as he listened to her indignant shrieks. As soon as he let her go she put two feet between them, glaring hard enough to melt the ice-berg that'd sunk the Titanic as she tried to straighten her messed-up hair.
"Ass." at Harm's raised eyebrow she tacked a 'sir' behind it. No need to be completely insubordinate...
"I taught you well, my young Padawan." Harm patronized, his eyes blazing mischeviously as he enjoyed her annoyed expression.
"Star Wars? Really? You?" there was no enthusiasm in her words, indeed, it sounded like she couldn't find anything positive or uplifting in the idea of Harm fanning Star Wars.
Harm shrugged, unperturbed, and Skates had a sudden irrational desire to for once be able to wipe that annoying calm look off his face, much less shatter his sereneness altogether, even if it took radical means.
"I was still a High School kid when the original trilogy came out, of course I watched it. I also have... had, a coworker who's a big fan of any sci-fi movie or series."
"Let me guess: your favorite character was Han Solo, right?"
The smirk persisted as he drawled sarcastically "How did you guess?"
"What about the new trilogy?"
"I'm not a big fan of it, but if you twist my arm, the ones I could stand were Windu and Kenobi, besides Yoda obviously. Didn't care for Skywalker from the start and would've been much happier if someone else had been his wife instead of Padme. She didn't deserve to be made involved with him. Besides... I really liked her with Obi-Wan once she was legal."
Skates' eyes widened at this realization and she just about to accuse him of being a romantic, not just that, but also that the age difference didn't bother him, when they arrived at the hatch of the control tower and Harm let her through first.
Wait a minute! Weren't they of almost same ages as we are? Okay, will think that through later, there's something more important that boggles my mind...
"But he didn't even like flying! How could you like him?" she demanded, navigating the steep staircase.
"He was a good guy from start to finish, calm, collected, reliable, loyal, the kind that always gets overlooked and finishes the race last. He didn't have to be a pilot for me to like him."
Thinking that the qualities and the fate Harm had listed not only applied to him as well, but in the way he had sorted them they could also be taken in the sense of relationships, not just in battle, Skates nodded, filing that information for later. Later would turn out to really be later as they had to part immediately after that to get out of their gear and then go through the debriefing.
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After the boring conversation masquerading as post-mission debriefing was over, Skates immediately blocked Harm's exit route with her chair, ignoring his startled look. She waited for everyone to leave before turning to him, happy to continue her previous line of questioning. They haven't been partnered long and there was still much to learn about him. She was determined to find out everything she could ASAP.
"How long have you known you wanted to be a pilot?"
"How long have you?"
Beth's eyes narrowed when she noticed the small grin. He was playing with her. Still, a superior officer is a superior officer... Not just that, but quid-pro-quo, as well.
"Top Gun."
Harm nodded, having figured something like that "How old were you?"
"12."
"I was there, you know."
"Where?"
"Top Gun."
"No!" Skates' eyes were wide "Really?"
"No."
Harm had to laugh at the outraged and bewildered shock on his RIO's face and laughed even harder when she started glaring and growling. Still, he couldn't really play with her too long...
"Just pulling your leg with that last part, I really did graduate from Fighter Weapons School. Right that year that Top Gun was filmed."
There was a newfound kind of respect in Beth's dark eyes as she stared at him, one that Harm, to his surprise, liked. Still, he couldn't help himself...
"Didn't see Goose though."
From the renewed glower in Beth's expressive eyes he could see he had guessed correctly. Young Elizabeth Hawkes had had a crush on the goofy, blond, moustached RIO, the reason for her career choice. But that was enough making fun of the young woman who had become such a part of his life, so he sobered up and got back on track.
"Ever since I can remember." he answered her first question, a small smile at the memory of the first 6 years of his life making his lips curve "My father..."
"... was a pilot. I know. Everyone knows, the CAG got drunk on the last shore leave." Beth finished with him, eyes glinting impishly when Harm glared and waved his finger at her in mock consternation.
"Careful there, LT, that's near insubordination."
"If it's "only" then I'm not doing a good enough job." then in her signature way of turning the tables on him so suddenly "Would you ever give it up?"
Surprised, Harm still didn't have to look far for his answer "Not voluntarily. As you said, Skates, flying is mother's milk to me."
"I didn't say that exactly." Beth protested, cheeks darkening at the imagery involved and the process required.
Shrugging, Harm waved off her protest "Maybe not verbatim, but that's the gist of it."
"Whatever." Skates dismissed, but tenaciously got back on track "Not even for love?"
"What's love got to do with it?" Harm retorted instinctively, but sobered when he noticed Beth's disappointed expression.
Understanding it as disappointment over evading her question, he went those extra couple of yards to try to explain "What I meant was, why would I have to give up flying for love? I can have both at the same time."
"What if you couldn't?" she argued "What if, for some reason, you could have love but couldn't have flying, or vice versa? Which one would you choose?"
Harm's first instinct was to make light of it, but the words died on his lips when he realized it was a pretty good question.
"I don't know." he said thoughtfully "While I chose flying over my girlfriend when she made me an ultimatum..."
"I'm not talking about ultimatums." interrupted Skates, trying to hide how her heart sank at the news "Ultimatums are for attention-whores who can't take the thought of not being the most important thing in the world to someone. They refused to accept life is fluid, about making temporary compromises and instead of accepting they would have to step back for a while for their partner and their relationship to be happy, they try to force an ultimate decision that in the end hurts them both. I'm talking about outside forces forcing you into a decision, not about the woman forcing you to make a choice."
Harm nodded, processing what she'd said. It made sense, but it didn't account for the fact that Jordan had plainly hated that part of his naval career. She'd wanted a lawyer that would work a 9-5 job, would be great to show off on parties in his glowing white uniform with gold buttons and all the other shiny things; she hadn't wanted the officer that had to leave on a moment's notice, or was away for months on end, risking his life as he'd swore when he'd taken the oath.
"Hm... a woman out of bounds unless I gave up the Navy..."
"Not the Navy, just flying." Skates corrected him.
"Are you propositioning me, LT?"
They both laughed, but only one of them had to hide the jerk that the out-of-the-blue realization had produced.
She wasn't in love with him, but she knew she could be. For now it was firmly at the physical attraction phase and she was determined to keep it that way. He was a good, reliable man and the fact that he was a hunk didn't hurt anything. Even though her reasons for questioning were innocent, reconnoitering and making tentative plans of action for the future didn't harm anyone, no pun intended.
"Careful there, sir, or I'm gonna have to throw you a yellow light." Beth joked, making Harm laugh.
"Then I'm throwing a red light to your yellow light."
"What?" she gasped, surprised and even slightly outraged, thankful for the distraction from her thoughts "You can't do that!"
"I can and I just did." Harm smirked cockily.
"Jerk." the RIO muttered, glaring at him.
"Insubordination, Lieutenant..." Harm warned.
"Jerk, sir." the RIO corrected, her glower not lessening.
Harm nodded satisfied, hiding a grin. It was just so easy to wind her up and Harm immensely enjoyed pushing the small woman's buttons, but he had to be careful not to push too far or hurt her.
"But to answer your question..." Harm grinned mischeviously at her "Only if mother's milk was involved."
Skates pulled a face, unsure "Didn't know you had a kink, sir."
Harm looked at her uncomprehendingly for a second before realization struck "I didn't mean it like that!"
"Then how did you mean it?"
"Geez, you're persistent! Why does this matter so much to you, anyway?"
Skates crossed her arms over her chest and glared up at him. The fact that she had to crane her neck so much even when they were both sitting down only made her even more annoyed.
"You can't say all that and then just leave it with that!"
"Okay, okay." Harm placated in the universal gesture of surrender "What I meant was, only if it was a relationship I believed could succeed, with a woman I know wasn't with me because I was either a lawyer or a pilot, a woman that accepted me whole, every part of me and would never demand something she knew I couldn't give or give up. A woman I could be sure she would be faithful to me and would be determined to make sure our relationship succeeded. It would also have to be a real relationship, not just a fling."
He sobered, his eyes taking on a faraway look "And someday I would like to have a family. I promised my grandmother that when I retire I'll take over the family farm. As much as I don't want the Rabb line to die out, I don't want to die lonely. I want to marry a good woman I know I can rely on and raise a few kids with her."
He came back to the world then, his eyes narrowing on the woman trapping him in his seat "And if you tell anyone what I just told you they won't find your body."
Her lips twitching, Elizabeth swore "I promise. Your secret is safe with me."
"Good. Can I go now?"
Moving her chair away she watched as he left the squadron room, leaving her deep in thought.
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Skates waited for CAG to move away before she approached the tall Lieutenant Commander.
"So... Hammer... the transfer come through yet?"
"Yeah." Harm sighed and checked his watch "As of 1 hour 13 minutes ago I'm officially reassigned back to JAG. I have to report for duty next week. My active flying days are over for good."
The despondency in his voice tugged at her heart's strings, so she decided to postpone her purpose for a second and try to cheer him up. Giving him a cheesy grin that just made him wary, she sing-songed.
"Cheer up, Harm. You know what they say?"
"What?" Harm asked, eyes narrowing in suspicion as he became wary of Skates' suddenly innocent expression. That never bode well.
The innocence turned into an evil grin before Skates started singing. She wasn't a good singer, but she could hold her tune in a bucket. Or maybe it was just because she'd broken into a tune suddenly, without any preparation. Harm was intrigued how good of a singer she actually was, but then the lyrics broke through. He groaned, then started laughing heartily.
"Some things in life are bad, they can really make you MAD, other things just make you swear and curse..." the expression on Skates' face was comical and Harm burst into guffaws again unaware of their teammates approaching, curious what was going on.
"When you're chewing on life's gristle, don't grumble, give a whistle! And this'll help things turn out for the best... Aaaaaaaaand..."
"Always look on the bright side of life..." to Harm's surprise suddenly a multitude of voices took up the song and before he knew it, he had his arm around Skate's slim shoulders and she around his waist, with their squadron mates grabbing hold of them both and each other to complete the chain.
Holding each other around the shoulders the large group of pilots and RIOs stood next to the edge of the deck, belting the lyrics out to the ocean, scaring every fish in the radius of 20 miles.
"Why are they singin' that song?" a crew chief asked one of his men "She ain't goin' down..."
After the sing-along was over the flight personnel dispersed, laughing and talking among each other.
Skates started to move off as well when she remembered she'd almost forgotten what she'd come there for.
"Oh, Hammer?"
Harm turned around from his scrutiny of the waves far below and raised an inquisitive eyebrow "Yeah?"
The brave, but shaky, smile the small woman gave him was so unlike her that Harm's eyes widened in apprehension.
"We're docking in Norfolk in about two months. I'll let you know which hour exactly so you can come pick me up."
"Okaaaay..." Harm drawled, furiously going through the last several months as he tried to figure out if there was something he should've remembered. In the end he gave up and just asked "Do we have something planned?"
"We're going out on a date, you and I. We'll figure something out to do or somewhere to go until then."
Harm felt like a fish out of water, the sudden and unannounced turn of events had him floundering, with no clue how to react.
"Huh?" he finally uttered, immediately cursing himself for sounding like an imbecile.
But Skates wasn't bothered, indeed her smile became even brighter "Maybe you'll be getting your mother's milk. I'm willing to give it to you, but lets wait and see how it goes, first, okay?"
As she walked away, leaving him alone with his thoughts, Harm chuckled, shaking his head. That was Skates, alright. He knew that after he left flying this time, he wouldn't be coming back, so no fraternization issues.
Not enough hours, not enough traps, he'd run out of sky. If he stayed, he'd be out of the Navy within months. Yet again, the only way to continue serving was JAG, no matter how much of a fallback it was, how much less pleasure it gave him than flying.
But maybe it wouldn't be so bad. Like Skates told him that time, months ago, there'd be a trade-off for losing his active flight status. Only now did he finally understand her motivation behind that puzzling conversation. She'd wanted to know whether she'd be enough to assuage the loss he would be feeling when having to take that star off his shoulder and replace it with the hamburger.
The first time he'd met her, during that whole feminist-pilot-thinks-every-male-is-against-her mess he would've believed no, she would never be a good match for him had he even considered her in that way, but she'd changed since then. Her near-death experience had matured her and she was now looking upon the world with clearer eyes and mind, now she knew what was important in life. She was a good friend, a competent officer and a reliable RIO, he respected her. Even though he wasn't in love with her, he did like and respect her, they had strong friendship to build upon.
Having a life-partner who understood and even shared his love for flying, instead of hating him for it, certainly did have it's advantages.
When one door closes, another opens.
Harm looked out over the ocean.
And smiled.
THE END
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