A/N: Yet another Martin/Rose songfic by yours truly. This time this song is by Steps and it's called 'Better Best Forgotten'. The first paragraph is from Martin's POV, the rest is from Rose's POV. This takes place when Martin goes off to chop wood at the end of Martin the Warrior.
Mariel Gullwhacker.
Better Best Forgotten
If only you read my mind
You'd see I was hurt inside
A thousand times I've told myself it's over
It's over…
I've never spoken your name once. Not even when I was recovering from my injuries. Though, come to think of it, I don't think I've spoken at all since you died.
Because I can't believe it. I've tried telling myself that you're dead a thousand times, but I can't believe it. I can't believe life can be snatched away, just like that. It's not right.
What is right, then? It's terrifying to contemplate your own mortality.
Wherever you are now, I think you know I'm hurting. Perhaps some of the others say I don't feel, but that's not true. I've often been able to vent my feelings, but this is the deepest wound I've ever had, and I can't even talk about it. It's too painful. I don't think I'll ever be able to speak of it.
But the story has just begun
And darling, what's done is done
It's time to change and leave the past behind
This isn't the end, Martin. You have a life to live, and I'll always be there. You might not be able to see me, but you'll know I'm there.
I know you love me. I love you, and I want you to live. You must, for my sake, and be happy, otherwise you might as well have died along with me.
It's only the beginning.
Why should we know all the answers
Or how the story ends?
I don't know what's going to happen to you. Why should I? Your destiny will shape itself. I don't know how or when you'll die, or whether you'll discover the secret of eternal life. But I know that you'll remain faithful to your ideals, or you should, anyway. But who am I to dictate to you how to live your life? Just be yourself, and you can't go wrong.
Let's take a chance on a happy ending
Turn the page and stop pretending
The past can stop a heart from mending
You've always been a risk-taker. So take your chances now, and live. You may die as some beggar, cold and miserable, or you may die a happy, well-balanced mouse. It's the risk you take when you live.
Don't dwell on the past, that's all I ask. Otherwise you'll never get out of that pit of depression you're in now.
But don't pretend it never happened. It happened, and you can't take that knowledge away.
I sound like my mother.
It's time to let go, 'cause baby you know
Some things are better best forgotten
I don't think you'll be able to forget. There'll always be a constant reminder, especially in summer. My life was like a rose, buds opening, and then – they died. A rose is very fragile. I'm not, in spirit, but in body, I suppose I wasn't stronger than most, considering the ease with which my skull cracked.
And baby we can't pretend
In time the scars will mend
Please believe me there's a chance, let's take it
Let's take it…
I know that you know that you'll never really get over it. I know you're seriously considering an 'accident' some time after you leave to go on your wanderings. But you've got to go on.
I know you don't think there's anything worth living for. But there will be, and just think how many creatures you could affect if you kill yourself! You might not have even heard of them, but you will meet them some time in the future. You might do them some service. You could murder hundreds of other innocent creatures by taking your own life. I know it sounds a little far-fetched, but…
No beast has the right to take their own life.
And maybe at last we'll find
That love should be true not blind
You can't deceive a heart that's open wide
How well did you know me, I wonder? I realise now that I didn't know you very well at all. And yet I fell in love with you. Was it real love, or just an attraction that was glorified in the light of death?
But I don't think it was the latter. I have known many male mice, many of them, it has to be said, much handsomer than you. But I didn't feel much, if any, attraction to them. The fact that they were often mindless idiots, and you certainly were not, might have had something to do with it, but I doubt it. I was prepared for an arranged marriage with somebeast or other. I don't know who it would have been. Love wouldn't have come into it. If I'd fallen in love with somebeast before I married, then my parents would have let me marry him, because I loved him, but otherwise, I was fancy-free, so I would have had an arranged marriage.
I wouldn't have been prepared to fall in love, that's for sure.
And I loved you. I truly loved you.
And even now it's not too late
To change the story's end
You want to die, I know. I can almost hear you saying it to yourself. You really mean it. You're about to do it, with your sword.
But you've stopped yourself. The dripping tap technique finally worked. You may think you're a coward, but believe me, it takes a lot more courage to live.
It's not too late for you to be happy. I know that, and you will know that soon enough.
It's never too late.
Let's take a chance on a happy ending
Turn the page and stop pretending
The past can stop a heart from mending
It's time to let go, 'cause baby you know
Some things are better best forgotten…