Chapter 1: Ultimatum

okey dokey...this is the beginning of Eclipse...as some of you requested...I am most definately going to write the entire thing :D :D woot woot!! enjoy the first chapter of eclipse :D :D

Thirty- five minutes and twenty- seven seconds to go. I paced the floor waiting anxiously for the droning tick of the clock to speed up somewhat. Why couldn't the world spin just a little faster?

I went to my piano. I needed to pass the time somehow. I shuffled through the stacks upon stacks of the memorized pages in my head and finally settled on Moonlight Sonata. It was slow…it was steady. And it was sure to keep me occupied for approximately six minutes and twenty-one seconds.

I glanced at the clock again before I played. Still thirty-four minutes and fifteen seconds to go. Surely the clock must be slowing! I tried to keep my mind off my irrational impatience. I knew I deserved every moment of this endless servitude—and much, much, more. I turned to the keys, and settled my hands upon the ivory, and began to play.

Each individual note dripped with melancholy. Each note floated through the still atmosphere carefully. I exaggerated my hand movements to drag out the piece as long as I possibly could.

"Ah, Moonlight Sonata…" Esme sighed mentally. "Again…" She added.

I smiled to myself, and continued down the mental sheet music road. I had memorized it perfectly when I was away in about a full twenty-four hour period. It conveyed my feelings so well, I continued to play and replay it until I had had it memorized. Then, the melody's tone drifted into a brief period of happiness, and I wondered what Bella would be doing. I remembered her smile. Her blush. Her sarcasm. Her delicate beauty. Then I recalled her father's punishment as the music turned minor again.

I continued playing, adding my own tidbits here and there. And when the final note rang through the air, I turned to the clock again. Twenty-eight minutes and thirty-four seconds to go. I groaned audibly. Could this never end?

"Impatient, little bro?" Emmett asked as he walked through the great room.

I rolled my eyes and continued pacing the floor. The ticking of the clock seemed to grow louder and louder.

"Edward!" Alice called.

"Yes, Alice?"I chuckled as she rolled her eyes. Oh, you know what I'm going to ask anyway. She thought.

"Yes, Alice?" I repeated again, grinning.

She sighed and rolled her eyes. "So will you go with them? Please? They want you to go so badly Edward. Please, please, please?"

I groaned, and she grinned.

"Yea!" she beamed as I rolled my eyes.

"But not for long, I only have...twenty-five minutes and fifty-six seconds left."

She raised one delicate eyebrow. "Desperate, much?"

I simply beamed.

"Of course you are…" she muttered under her breath as I dashed over to mess up her hair.

She grimaced and jabbed one tiny finger at me. "Edward Anthony Masen Cullen, you better get out of here, before they angry." She warned.

I raised my hands palms toward her. "Alright, I'm going, I'm going."

Her eyes narrowed. "Go now, you are starting to get on my nerves. Oh, and Charlie is going to un-ground Bella in about forty- five seconds. OH! And Bella just got accepted to the University of Alaska as well! "

"I had anticipated as much…I can't think of a school that wouldn't accept her."

I smiled widely. Finally, Bella and I could be together outside her restricted times. But not starting today, unfortunately. And she had gotten her first college acceptance. The first of many. I smiled again then sprinted out the door to see Jasper and Emmett standing across the yard.

"Hey, Edward! C'mon!" Jasper called from across the immense front yard.

"Yeah, c'mon Ed! All the mountain lions will be gone by the time we get there!"

"I only have time for one Emmett." I called as I approached them.

"Aww…c'mon bro! You're fast enough for two!" Jasper whined.

Emmett chuckled a deep throaty sound and thought. That's what she said.

I rolled my eyes. "Emmett, your immaturity never ceases to amaze me. And I've been living with you for the past sixty-two years." Emmett roared with laughter and Jasper joined in as a raced across to the forest.

Twenty-four minutes and fifty seven seconds…I thought to myself. Time for two? No, I contradicted internally. I don't want to risk being late.

Edward, you're making me anxious…stop worrying about Bella. You'll be with her soon enough. Jasper thought.

I looked back to see him close behind, and I threw a grin in his direction. He grinned back. Thank you. I smiled back at him again, and then I stopped dead in my tracks. A mountain lion. A very large mountain lion. About one-point-two miles due North from where I stood.

It was hard for me to think rationally when I gave myself up to my senses. I darted through the forest like a bullet, invisible to the naked eye. The wind blew through my hair as I winded through the trees, always avoiding them by mere inches. I was almost where the mountain lion was. I could sense it drawing near, its veins throbbing with hot blood. I could feel my eyes turn dark with desire as the venom pooled in my mouth.

There it was. Not two-hundred yards from my feet. I tensed, poised for attack. I approached silently, careful not to give my position away. Not that it would matter anyway; the animal was as good as dead.

I almost felt sorry for the pitiful creature. Almost.

Then I leapt for his throat. Lost in my undoubtedly savage instinct, I attached my teeth to his throat and drank greedily. I disengaged myself from the great cat after there was not one drop of blood remaining. I was glad that I had come on this extra hunting trip. That would mean I wouldn't have to leave Bella as soon as I thought. I straightened myself up and dusted off my spotless white sweater. I was always neat with my hunting.

I glanced over at Emmett who had just finished off an elk. I saw him grimace a bit and I muffled my laughter with a cough. He didn't like the herbivores.

However, I couldn't contain the laughter that erupted when I saw him straighten up. The front of his shirt was completely stained red.

"Emmett," I began. "How many times have I told you not to play with your food?"

Jasper shook with laughter at Emmett's sour expression.

"Dude, not funny. Rosalie is going to kill me! This is the shirt she gave me!"

Jasper laughed again. "Don't worry about it. I'm sure Alice has some kind of remedy in that adorable little head of hers to get blood stains out of white shirts. Oh, and Edward?" He turned to me.

I raised my eyebrow and smiled. "Why yes, Jasper?"

"Don't you think Rosalie would love it if Emmett walked in the house without his shirt on? With him being so manly and whatnot?"

Emmett growled and threw his fist toward Jasper, but he lithely jumped out of the way before Emmett's burly hand made contact with his face.

I laughed and glanced at my watch again out of habit. Ten minutes and fifteen seconds. Time to make my exit.

"Sorry gentlemen," I laughed at the irony. "But it is time for me to head out. Bella awaits."

They both rolled their eyes simultaneously. "Go, then. We don't want you to be late for your adult supervised, time-limited, restrained date, do we Jasper?

"Oh, no, of course not. You go and have fun on your date."

I laughed and raced back to the house. I had already taken my Volvo out of the garage before I left so it was ready to go when I was. I revved the engine and raced out through the long drive way faster than I normally did and I was doing eighty by the time I got to the main road. It didn't matter that I was going far over the speed limit, all that mattered was that I was going to see Bella in…four minutes and six seconds.

I passed the high school, going at lethal speeds, and weaved through all of the back roads to get to Bella quicker. I finally turned on her street, and sped up to her house.

I screeched to a halt in front of her house.

I got out of my car and swiftly walked, or rather ran up to her front door, knocked on the door three quick times, then leaned casually against the door frame waiting for her to answer it.

"Coming!" I heard Bella exclaim, and I couldn't help the smile from stretching crookedly across my face.

She was coming. I could hear her anxious footsteps falter, and it took me a moment to process that she had tripped. I couldn't help but chuckle, as my smile spread wider. My resplendent, wonderful, brilliant, maladroit Bella.

Great, he's here. Charlie thought. "Go away," he muttered to low for Bella to hear.

Not even Charlie's blatant distaste for me could deter my buoyant mood. I heard her footsteps cease as she approached the door and wrenched it open, a wide smile, almost identical to mine spread widely across her face.

I had to asphyxiate the gasp that almost erupted from within me. There she was—my angel standing in the threshold. My savior standing under the porch light of this inconsequential residence. I stood there motionless, drinking in her gorgeous form. My eyes trailed over the iridescent skin, partially colored by the scarlet line of blush on her delicate cheeks, the mahogany locks of her silky hair, the full shape of her lips—her top lip slightly fuller than her bottom, contradicting mine; further proof that we belong together physically as well as in every other aspect.

I saved her eyes for last, knowing that when I looked into the windows to her soul, it would always be cloudy for me. They were wide and innocent; molten chocolate fringed with thick, ebony lashes. I was lost in her eyes. I almost laughed at that extremely cliché expression. I felt her reach for my hand, and eagerly took it in mine, entwining my fingers with hers.

"Hey." She smiled as her blush deepened.

I raised our hands to her face and brushed her warm cheek with the back of my icy hand. "How was your afternoon?"

"Slow."

I smiled. "For me, as well."

I pulled her wrist to my face, our hands still weaved together. I closed my eyes and skimmed my nose along the skin there, inhaling her sweet freesia scent deeply. I smiled as I recalled how I had explained my efforts to her; "enjoying the bouquet, while resisting the wine." I could hear her throbbing pulse, concealed only by the paper thin skin at her wrist. However, I was not tempted anymore.

I heard Charlie's heavy footsteps. Hmph, I wish he would just go away…it is a stretch for me un-grounding Bella…. My eyes snapped open, shattering my train of thought, and I let our hands fall, yet I never separated our entwined fingers.

"Good evening, Charlie." I said with a smile. Ya, good evening to you too, Edward… He thought my name like a curse word as he grunted.

I turned to Bella and smiled. "I brought another set of applications." I told her, holding up a folder of college applications, a ring of stamps around my finger.

She groaned. Even in frustration, her groaning was the most appealing sound in the entire universe. The expression on her face was priceless and I didn't need to read her mind to figure out what she was thinking.

I smiled at her, utterly amused. "There are still a few open deadlines. And a few places willing to make exceptions."

I gauged her expression and laughed. Once again, I could tell just exactly what she was thinking. Well, no need to tell her the money involved. It was a miniscule amount to us, but Bella never approved of us spending any money on her.

"Shall we?" I asked her, pulling her along side me to the kitchen.

Why can't he do just one thing wrong? I smiled at his thought then watched Bella clear the table as I organized the applications. Then, Bella's tattered copy of Wuthering Heights caught my eye. I raised one eyebrow at her. She couldn't be reading that again. I was about to comment, but Charlie interrupted.

"Speaking of college applications, Edward," He began. This was unusual. Charlie rarely addressed me directly, and I could hear his tone turn more brooding than normal. "Bella and I were just talking about next year. Have you decided where you're going to school?" As far away from my Bella as possible….he amended.

If only he knew…

I smiled at him. "Not yet, I've received a few acceptance letters, but I'm still weighing my options."

"Where have you been accepted?" He pressed.

"Syracuse…Harvard…Dartmouth…and I just got accepted to the University of Alaska Southeast today." I turned my face slightly and winked at Bella. I could hear her giggle softly.

"Harvard? Dartmouth?" Charlie mumbled almost incoherently. I can't find anything against him now! Damn it! I smiled to myself. "Well that's pretty…that's something. Yeah, but the University of Alaska…you wouldn't really consider that when you could go Ivy League. I mean your father would want you to…"

"Carlisle's always fine with whatever I choose to do," I replied tranquilly.

"Hmph." Of course he is….

"Guess what, Edward?" Bella asked, playing along.

"What, Bella?"

She gestured to the thick acceptance letter on the counter. "I just got my acceptance to the University of Alaska!"

I couldn't conceal my wide grin. "Congratulations! What a coincidence."

Yeah, coincidence my ass. Charlie thought with narrow eyes. "Fine. I'm going to go watch the game, Bella. Nine-thirty." I waited for him to remember her recent liberation.

"Er, Dad? Remember the very recent discussion about my freedom…?"

He sighed. Unfortunately… "Right. Okay, ten-thirty. You still have a curfew on school nights."

That was my cue. "Bella's no longer grounded?" I asked sounding genuinely surprised even though Bella and I both knew I wasn't. I had learned after too many years of experience to act perfectly around humans.

"Conditionally," Charlie corrected me, his jaw clenched. "What's it to you?"

In my peripheral vision, I saw Bella's lips turn down in a blatant display of displeasure.

"It's just good to know," I replied courteously. "Alice has been itching for a shopping partner, and I'm sure Bella would love to see some city lights." I smiled at her.

Ah-ha!! I found something! Seattle! He wants to take Bella to Seattle?! Charlie thought happily as he paradoxically growled. "No!" and his face flushed a deep violet.

"Dad! What's the problem?" He ground his teeth together in a fierce scowl. "I don't want you going to Seattle right now."

"Huh?"

"I told you about that story in the paper—there's some kind of gang on a killing spree in Seattle and I want you to steer clear, okay?"

Or steer clear of him all together… She rolled her eyes. " Dad, there's a better chance that I'll get struck by lightning that that on day I'm in Seattle—"

"No, that's find, Charlie," I interrupted her. Bella was especially naïve to the matter, and I was not going to let her go to Seattle without having some idea of what was there, or go at all for that matter. Anywhere but Seattle. "I didn't mean Seattle. I was thinking Portland, actually. I wouldn't have Bella in Seattle, either. Of course not."

I felt Bella's disbelieving eyes on my face, but I kept my eyes on Charlie, concentrating on his thoughts. Gah…this guy's got an answer for everything… "Fine." He walked off toward the living room. Bella waited strategically for Charlie to turn the TV on before she started in on me.

"What—," She started to ask.

"Hold on," I said, not glancing up from the horrifying newspaper as I slid the Dartmouth application toward Bella. "I think you can recycle your essays for this one. Same questions."

She sighed and began her pencil across the paper, filling the paper with the same cyclical information. I turned away from the paper and stared out the window, wondering what was going to happen this time.

After a few minutes she glanced up me for a brief moment, then returned to her work and snorted as she shoved the papers aside.

What? "Bella?"

"Be seriously, Edward. Dartmouth?

I lifted the application then set it back on the table in front of my stubborn Bella again. "I think you'd like New Hampshire," I said thoughtfully, then looked at her. "There's a full complement of night courses for me, and the forests are very conveniently located for the avid hiker. Plentiful wildlife." I smiled crookedly the way I knew she couldn't resist.

She took a deep breath.

"I'll let you pay me back, if that makes you happy," I lied. There was NO way I would ever accept money from her. "If you want, I can charge you interest." I lied again.

"Like I could even get in without some enormous bribe. Or was that part of the loan? The new Cullen wing of the library? Ugh. Why are we having this discussion again?"

I rolled my eyes. "Will you just fill out the applications, please, Bella? It won't hurt you to apply."

I saw the stubborn set of her jaw. "You know what? I don't think I will." Seeing her next move as soon as she reached slightly forward (plus I just knew my Bella that well), I snatched the papers and tucked them away in my jacket and returned to my original position before she could blink once.

"What are you doing?" she demanded adorably.

"I sign your name better than you do yours. You've already written the essays."

"You're going way overboard with this, you know." She whispered and I knew exactly what she meant, even though I absolutely did not want to know. "I really don't need to apply anywhere else. I've been accepted in Alaska. I can almost afford the first semester's tuition. It's as good an alibi as any. There's no need to throw away a bunch of money, no matter whose it is."

Pain wrenched through me. She really did have her mind set. "Bella—,"

"Don't start. I agreed that I need to go through the motions for Charlie's sake, but we both know I'm not going to be in any condition to go to school next fall. To be anywhere near people."

My clenched as I reminded her softly, "I thought the timing was still undecided. You might enjoy a semester or two of college. There are a lot of human experiences you've never had."

"I'll get to those afterward."

She didn't understand at all. She did NOT know what she was getting herself into. "They won't be human experiences afterward. You don't get a second chance at humanity, Bella."

She sighed. "You've got to be reasonable about the timing, Edward. It's just too dangerous to mess around with."

"There's no danger yet," I insisted as I lied again. She glared at me, seeming to identify my lie as she stared right through me. She had no idea what we were up against. I wasn't even completely aware of what was to come as well. However, that's what I had Alice for. Her exceptionally meticulous visions were our most powerful ally. But, Bella—being stubborn as always—did not think that the measures we were going to were necessary.

She had already won the battle, but not the war. Not yet. She didn't know what she was getting herself into. She had to consider her family. What would her loss do to them? I certainly knew what torture her absence had bestowed upon me. I suppressed a shudder at the thought. What would we tell them? She died in a tragic car crash? She became ill with cancer and not even Carlisle could treat her before she…

And I couldn't help but consider my own inner turmoil that I was determined not to let her see. My decision; my indecision. What is right, moral, ethical? What do I want?

Bella, you fool. Bella is what you want. You don't care about what the consequences could be. As long as she's with you. My selfish side thought.

No! No! No! Another part of me shouted. You want what's best for her. You need to be with her…we all see that…but you also want what's best for her. You would leave if it is what made her happy. But you know she can't live without you, either.

You wouldn't leave her, even if she asked! You'd grovel, like the selfish coward you are. You're weak.

No, you're strong! You survived being without her! You resisted her blood!

You went to commit suicide! You are a coward! You shouldn't exist!

No, Edward! Without you, Bella wouldn't be happy. And that's all you want is for her to be happy!

No, Edward! Without you, Bella could have lived a normal human life without monsters. Without heart-break. Without suicide.

Edward, Bella needs you. She needs you more than life itself.

She will never need a monster like you.

I took a deep breath before answering. "Bella," I murmured after looking at her anguished face. "There's no hurry. I won't let anyone hurt you. You can take all the time you need."

"I want to hurry," she whispered, smiling halfheartedly. "I want to be a monster, too."

My teeth immediately clenched as she used my terminology to describe her future self. It was time to tell her. I spoke through my locked jaw. "You have no idea what you are saying." I threw the paper down on the table between us, trying desperately not to break the fragile wood construction in my anger.

DEATH TOLL ON THE RISE, POLICE FEAR GANG ACTIVITY

"What does this have to with anything?" she asked.

"Monsters are not a joke, Bella." I said watching her expression comprehend what I was telling her.

"A…a vampire is doing this?" she whispered, her voice filled with trepidation.

I smiled cynically, my voice low and frigid. "You'd be surprised, Bella, at how often my kind are the source behind the horrors in your human news. It's easy to recognize, when you know what to look for. The information here indicates a newborn vampire is loose in Seattle. Bloodthirsty, wild, out of control. The way we all were."

Her gaze fell from my face, avoiding my eyes. I knew what she was hiding.

"We've been monitoring the situation for a few weeks. All the signs are there—the unlikely disappearances, always in the night, the poorly disposed-of corpses, the lack of other evidence…Yes, someone brand-new. And no one seems to be taking responsibility for the neophyte…" I took a deep breath, intentionally through my nose, calming myself with her soothing freesia scent. "Well, it's not our problem. We wouldn't even pay attention to the situation if it wasn't so close to home. Like I said, this happens all the time. The existence of monsters results in monstrous consequences."

She tried unsuccessfully to let her eyes venture from the page. Maureen Bardiner, Geoffery Campbell, Grace Razi, Michelle O'Connell, Ronald Albrook. I knew she was thinking about them, their families, their mourning. Not her own safety or well-being.

"It won't be the same for me," she barely whispered. "You won't let me be like that. We'll live in Antarctica."

I snorted and rolled my eyes in an attempt to break the tension. "Penguins. Lovely."

She laugh an unwieldy laugh and knocked the paper off the table. "Alaska, then, as planned. Only somewhere much more remote than Juneau—somewhere with grizzlies galore."

"Better," I played along. "There are polar bears, too. Very fierce. And the wolves get quite large."

Her jaw fell open and she exhaled sharply. What had I done??

"What's wrong?" I asked. Then I realized what I had uttered. The wolves. I growled inwardly. Jacob Black. "Oh. Never mind the wolves, then, if the idea is offensive to you." My shoulders stiff, my tone formal.

"He was my best friend, Edward," she muttered. "Of course the idea offends me."

I could tell she was in much pain.

"Please forgive my thoughtlessness," I said formally. "I shouldn't have suggested that."

"Don't worry about it." She started at her clenched fists. I had hurt her. She was angry. I had upset her.

You are evil.

No, you are not, Edward. Just apologize and mean it.

We sat in silence for another moment and I couldn't take it. I had to say something. The silence was eating away at me. I tilted her face up with my cool finger, my façade no longer hard, but apologetic.

"Sorry. Really."

"I know. I know it's not the same thing. I shouldn't have reacted that way. It's just that…well, I was already thinking about Jacob before you came over." She hesitated again, as I felt my tawny eyes turn darker at the sound of his name. "Charlie says Jake is having a hard time. He's hurting right now, and…it's my fault." Again she blames herself for everything.

She thinks everything is her fault…

When it's really yours.

"You've done nothing wrong, Bella."

She inhaled deeply. "I need to make it better, Edward. I owe him that. And it's one of Charlie's conditions, anyway—"

My face turned hard again. She was not going anywhere near those dogs.

"You know it's out of the questions for you to be around a werewolf unprotected. And it would break the treaty if any of us cross over onto their land. Do you want us to start a war?"

"Of course not!"

"Then there's really no point in discussing the matter further." I dropped my hand and tried to find something to say. I looked away behind her and saw her battered copy of Wuthering Heights and smiled.

"I'm glad Charlie has decided to let you out—you're in desperate need of a bookstore. I can't believe you're reading Wuthering Heights again. Don't you know it by heart yet?" I teased trying to distract her.

"Not all of us have photographic memories," She retorted.

"Photographic memory or not, I don't understand why you like it. The characters are ghastly people who ruin each others' lives. I don't know how Heathcliff and Cathy ended up being ranked with couples like Romeo and Juliet or Elizabeth Bennet and Mr. Darcy. It isn't a love story, it's a hate story."

"You have some serious issues with the classics," She snapped.

"Perhaps it's because I'm not impressed by antiquity." I smiled crookedly, inherently satisfied that I had successfully distracted her. "Honestly, though, why do you read it over and over?" My eyes focused on her, vivid with interest, trying to understand the inner workings of her brilliant mind. I reached over and cradled my face in my hand. "What is it that appeals to you?"

"I'm not sure," she said, seeming slightly dazed. "I think it's something about the inevitability. How nothing can keep them apart—not her selfishness, or his evil, or even death in the end…"

She was incredible. She saw the good in everything. I smiled teasingly. "I still think it would be a better story if either of them had one redeeming quality."

"I think that may be the point," she diverged. "Their love is their one redeeming quality."

"I hope you have better sense than that—to fall in love with someone so…malignant."

"It's a bit late for me to worry about who I fall in love with," she stated. "But even without the warning, I seem to have managed fairly well."

I chuckled quietly. "I'm glad you think so."

"Well, I hope you're smart enough to stay away from someone so selfish. Catherine is really the source of all the trouble, not Heathcliff."

"I'll be on my guard." I replied.

She sighed as she placed her hand over mind and held it to her face. "I need to see Jacob."

I closed my eyes. "No."

"It's truly not dangerous at all," she said in a pleading voice. "I used to spend all day at La Push with the whole lot of them, and nothing ever happened."

Her voice faltered. Her heart accelerated. She was lying. Something had happened. I didn't know exactly what…but I could assume what had happened.

"Werewolves are unstable. Sometimes, the people near them get hurt. Sometimes the get killed."

She couldn't deny it. She had seen Emily and her scarred face. She couldn't win this argument.

"You don't know them," she whispered.

"I know them better than you think, Bella. I was here the last time."

"The last time?"

"We started crossing paths with the wolves about seventy years ago…We had just settled near Hoquiam. That was before Alice and Jasper were with us. We outnumbered then, but that wouldn't have stopped it from turning into a fight if not for Carlisle. He managed to convince Ephraim Black that coexisting was possible, and eventually we made a truce."

We thought the line had died out with Ephraim," I muttered mostly to myself. "That the genetic quirk which allowed transmutation had been lost…" I broke off, then stared at her. "Your bad luck seems to get more potent every day. Do you realize that your insatiable pulls for all things deadly was string enough to recover a pack of mutant canines from extinction? If we could bottle your luck, we'd have a weapon of mass destruction on our hands."

She ignored my half-hearted teasing. "But I didn't bring them back. Don't you know?"

"Know what?" What was she talking about? She sounded like I was missing something very obvious.

"My bad luck had nothing to do with it. The werewolves came back because the vampires did."

I was speechless. She had seen everything. She had made an observation so outside the realm of my comprehension, I had nothing to say. Everything fit. We left, and from what I had learned from Bella, there were only four werewolves in the pack. We returned, and now they were up to seven in a matter of weeks.

"Jacob told me that your family being here has set things in motion. I thought you would already know…"

I narrowed my eyes into thin slits, infuriated that the dogs had blamed everything on us. "Is that what they think?"

"Edward, look at the facts. Seventy years ago, you came here, and the werewolves showed up. You come back now, and the werewolves show up again. Do you think that is a coincidence?"

I blinked in shock again at her intuition. "Carlisle will be interested in that theory." I almost laughed at the thought. Her observation was nothing short of the truth.

"Theory," she mocked. I stared out the window into the rain. I could hear the TV blaring across the street; the neighborhood dog, howling through the soft tapping of the rain of the roof of someone's car as they splashed through a puddle on the wet road. But something was eating away at me.

It's always your fault. The dogs wouldn't be here if it weren't for you.

Werewolves will always exist, Edward. You know that…whether you were here or not. Some nomad would come along and they would rise up again.

"Interesting, but not exactly relevant," I murmured. "The situation remains the same."

I heard her sigh softly. I knew I must be patient with her. She didn't understand. Werewolves were too unstable. They couldn't control themselves. And I couldn't be there with her in their presence. And if something went—I took a deep breath—wrong, and she got hurt, I would never forgive myself.

However, I knew that Jacob had saved her life. That he had been there—when I wasn't. Another one of my infinitely many mistakes. She didn't hold me responsible for all the—pain she had suffered while I was gone.

I did.

Because it's your fault, imbecile.

She stood up and walked around the table. I opened my arms for her, wanting more than anything at that moment, to hold her there forever. She sat on my lap, turning into my body and looked down as she spoke.

"Please, just listen for a minute. This is so much more important than some whim to drop in on an old friend. Jacob is in pain." Her voice quivered as she spoke the word. "I can't not try to help him—I can't give up on him now, when he needs me. Just because he's not human all the time…Well, he was there for me when I was…not so human myself. You don't know what it was like…."

My entire body writhed in pain as my arms became rigid around her, my tendons bulging from my arms and hands. Would pain never cease? Would guilt finally dominate over my entire being to where it was unbearable? Just like depression had overcome me when I thought she was—I took another deep breath—dead.

"If Jacob hadn't helped me…I'm not sure what you would have come home to. I owe him better than this, Edward."

I closed my eyes, and clenched my jaw tight as I tried to control the pain that was creeping over my body.

"I'll never forgive myself for leaving you," I whispered in agony. "Not if I live a hundred thousand years."

I felt her warm hand on my stone cheek and the pain seemed to melt a little with her touch and I opened my eyes to see hers staring right back into mine.

"You were just trying to do the right thing. And I'm sure it would have worked with anyone less mental than me. Besides, you're here now. That's the part that matters."

"If I'd never left, you wouldn't feel the need to risk your life to comfort a dog."

She flinched at the word.

"I don't know how to phrase this properly," I began. "It's going to sound cruel, I suppose. But I've come too close to losing you in the past. I know what it feels like to think I have"—I shuddered at the thought—"I am not going to tolerate anything dangerous."

"You have to trust me on this. I'll be fine."

She still didn't understand the danger in this situation. "Please, Bella," I whispered.

She stared into my eyes. "Please, what?"

"Please, for me. Please make a conscious effort to keep yourself safe. I'll do everything I can, but I would appreciate a little help."

"I'll work on it," she murmured.

"Do you really have any idea how important you are to me? Any concept at all of how much I love you?" I held her tighter, resting my chin on top of her head. She kissed my neck softly.

"I know how much I love you," she replied simply.

"You compare one small tree to the entire forest."

I could almost see her rolling her eyes. "Impossible."

I kissed the top of my head and sighed. "No werewolves."

"I'm not going along with that. I have to see Jacob."

"The I'll have to stop you." I was completely confident that it wouldn't be a problem. Then again, Bella always seemed to surprise me.

"We'll see about that," she said. "He's still my friend."

She was in pain. I could see that. But she couldn't see him—not now, not ever—not without me.

You are evil.