The song is Decode by Paramore. Sections taken from the song are in quotation and italics.
Disclaimer: I do not own the show, the characters, or the song, and am in no way affiliated with any of them.
Minor spoilers for the book Star Trek: Voyager Full Circle and spoilers for the Voyager episode, Q2
Decode
"How can I decide what's right
When you're clouding up my mind
I can't win your losing fight
All the time"
Icheb sat silently on his bed at the academy. He was one of the lucky few to get their own dorm room, but it was because he used to be Borg. He knew it, and he new that the powers that be knew that no one would want to share with him. Since the Borg showed up at the Alpha Quadrant's door, he could not blame them for their apprehension. They were afraid that he would rejoin them, and assimilate them. How he managed to expect different when he first arrived at the academy escaped him. He should have known better than to believe that he could fit in.
His species wasn't even from the Quadrant. Therefore, he was the only Brunali in the Academy. Icheb often wondered if he would be more welcome if he had been from a more familiar species prior to his assimilation. Had he had been human, like Seven, he may have been accepted by at least a few peers. Instead, when he goes to class, no one sits by him. No one asks for his help, despite his wealth of knowledge (It was well known that the weaker students would immediately seek out the smart ones for tutoring). When he ate at the Academy cafeteria, his entire table would be vacant.
Icheb only had the comforting memories of his time on Voyager to console him. He had friends there, despite the fact that there were few children aboard. All of the senior staff were far to busy to spend time with him now, and Naomi wouldn't understand if he told her. Mezati, Rebi, and Azan had remained in the Delta Quadrant, so he could only contact them via subspace. Due to his rigorous schedule, he could only do that once a month. There was one friend, however, who he may still be able to talk to, if only he could contact him.
"Q!" Icheb called out. It was a long shot at best. He knew that. Much to his disappointment, there was no response. He slumped back down to the bed, and placed his head in his hands.
"I'm here, Itchy." He suddenly felt a warm hand on his shoulder. He looked up, and Q was standing over him. He stood, and pulled the other boy into a tight embrace. Q stood there, holding Icheb as he let out the tears that he withheld for so long. He lowered the human to the bed, and held him through the night.
Early in the morning, Q arose, kissed Icheb on the forehead, and was off with a snap of his fingers.
**************
Finally, the last class of the day, he thought. It was the class that Seven taught; Astrometry 101. Icheb breezed through this particular class with a 101 average, considering that he already possessed the knowledge necessary for passing all of the coursework in the school in this area. Never the less, he always paid attention, hoping that he would learn something new.
Today was different. He paid no attention in any of his classes. None of his teachers noticed, seeing as he was quiet most of the time anyways. However, mid lesson, Seven noticed. She continued with her lesson, and made a mental note to talk to Icheb after class.
Meanwhile, Icheb was daydreaming. Thoughts of Q filled his mind, distracting him at every opportunity. He pictured them holding hands, though it was absurd to think that it would ever happen. How could an omnipotent being ever hold interest in him? Sure, Q was his friend, but could he ever feel like Icheb did? Then he remembered what happened the past night. Q was there for him.
Seven dismissed the class. Every cadet but one rose from their seats. Icheb remained. She approached him slowly, so as not to startle him.
"Icheb" She addressed him firmly. He practically jumped.
"Oh! Sorry Seven. I didn't realize class had ended." He frantically gathered his belongings to leave.
"We should talk in my office." Seven informed him. She turned away, and he followed. She shut the door behind them, and set her materials on the desk.
"I noticed that you were not paying attention today in class. Is everything alright?" She questioned. He set down his belongings in a chair, and told her of everything that happened the night before.
**************
"How did we get here
When I used to know you so well?
How did we get here?
Well, I think I know"
Icheb rushed back to his quarters after his talk with Seven. He needed to regenerate before he had his usual late dinner. He did this so he could sleep through the night, just like a normal person. Unfortunately, he still needed to regenerate to maintain his minimal Borg systems. The doctor allowed him to cut his cycle down to three hours (down from 5) a couple of months after he "lost" his cortical node. He no longer needed the full amount of time. However, he did start needing to sleep. Originally, he set up a cot in the cargo bay, but it became evident that he would be needing quarters. Voyager returned to the Alpha Quadrant before he was assigned any.
He reached his quarters, and set his class materials on his desk. Icheb headed straight for his alcove, but suddenly froze. There was someone else in the room.
"Icheb!" Q suddenly made himself know. "I was wondering if we could talk."
"I must regenerate." He replied. "Perhaps we can talk later." Before Q could protest, Icheb stepped into his alcove, and began his mechanical slumber.
**************
When the regeneration cycle completed, Icheb stepped out of his alcove. The room was dark, and there was no apparent sign of Q.
"Q?" Icheb spoke into the darkness.
"I'm here." He replied, stepping forward so that he could be seen. He was wearing civilian clothing. Seeing as Icheb never saw him in anything but a Uniform, it was a bit shocking. Q was far more slender and lengthy than he had thought. The blue of his shirt made his eyes look even darker than usual. They were the most brilliant shade of mahogany, and now, in the dark, in contrast to his clothing, they looked nearly black. How strange it was to Icheb, and yet it seemed perfectly natural. He looked normal.
"I am about to go out to eat dinner. Would you care to join me?" He offered.
"I don't need to eat, but I guess I can join you." Q grinned.
**************
The walk to the cafeteria was short and quiet. Both men walked in silence, wondering exactly what to say to the other. When they reached the door, Q held it open for Icheb, which was entirely out of character for him. It made Icheb nervous.
They walked through the line, Icheb paid for each of their meals, and they sat at a small, empty, round table near the back. It was far less likely that they would be overheard there. Both of them knew that it would be best if no one knew who Q was. Panic would likely be the result, or worse, Starfleet Security could show up.
They began to eat in silence. Icheb attacked his meatloaf with a fork and knife, and Q nibbled at his green beans, picking them up one by one. The only noise at the table was the scraping fork across Icheb's plate.
"So…" Q started. Icheb looked up and placed his utensils down. "Umm, nevermind." He decided that it could wait.
"Spit it out, Q-ball, you've been dying to talk all evening." Icheb said flatly, ignoring the slightly shocked look on his friend's face.
"Well, I wanted to talk about last night." He hazarded. Q really hoped that this wouldn't backfire on him.
"What about it?" Icheb urged. Q was visibly discomforted now. He seemed, nervous. Since when do Q become nervous?
"I, uh, was kinda wondering, if you don't mind, if maybe we could spend more nights together." He exhaled in slight relief.
"For what purpose? I must sleep."
"Well, I kinda…like you…" He continued.
"Are you seeking a romantic relationship with me, Q?" He asked in his clearly Borg tone.
"I suppose so." He now stared at the floor, anticipating what was to come.
"Romantic relationships are for the purpose of procreation. We are both male."
"Well, I don't need to procreate; I just want to be with you." He reassured. Icheb would be difficult to convince; the Borg, after all, think of relationships to be "irrelevant". Icheb sighed, and stared into the eyes of the man in front of him. How very much he longed to be with him, to be able to see those eyes, every day.
"I will not deny myself what I want any longer. Q, I want to be with you. We can try." Q breathed another sigh, entirely relieved this time.
**************
"There is something
I see in you
It might kill me
I want it to be true"
Admiral Janeway sat at her desk in San Francisco, reviewing a progress report from Captain Chakotay regarding a standard diplomatic mission. There were so many of them these days that it was hard to keep track of, and yet there was so much going on. The Borg could come at anytime. There were many ideas as to what should be done, and lots of new technology created to help. She hadn't had a free moment since her promotion to Admiral. Suddenly, she realized that she was reading the same sentence again, and that she was getting no meaning out of it. It was late, and she hadn't eaten in several hours.
"Admiral Janeway," A voice sounded from a computer terminal on her desk, "You have a visitor."
Who would visit this late??????? She muttered to herself. "Alright, send them in." She replied, tapping a button on the terminal to close the comm. link. The door opened, and who other than Q should appear? (Q senior, not junior)
"Kathy, dear, you look so tired." He mused.
"Yes, the threat of Borg invasion and piles upon piles of status reports will do that to you." She decided to humor him.
"Well, I have something exciting to tell you!" Q practically jumped into the chair across the desk from her.
"What could possibly be so exciting that you would come at this hour?" She asked, clearly agitated.
"Well, Junior has fallen in love!" He informed her, joy spreading across his face.
"As I understand, there aren't many Q his age."
"That's an understatement, but it isn't with a Q." He looked at her as if she was thinking too narrowly.
"Then who?"
"That little Borg friend of his. What was his name? OH, Icheb!" The admiral took a minute to absorb what he just said.
"This can't end well…" She spoke almost to herself.
"How so? Please elaborate." He demanded.
"Icheb was Borg. He may not take to the thought of dating, especially not with a male. And even if he did, he is not immortal like your son. He will grow old and die. And then what? Will Q spend all of eternity mourning his lost love? We can't even begin to speculate on how this will affect him in the long run."
Q looked shocked. It was as if the truth finally dawned on him. He got up slowly, and began to pace. Concern marred his face.
"I don't know what to say, Kathy. I must admit that that never occurred to me. I was so blinded by joy over the fact that my son had learned to show affection in a non sexual way that I overlooked what should have been on the tip of my nose. How can I stop this? I don't think he'll listen to me."
"We can talk to him together, if you like" Kathryn barely finished her sentence when Q snapped his fingers, and Junior arrived.
"You rang?" He stared at his father in an annoyed gesture.
"Out of curiosity, where exactly were you?" Q began as delicately as he could.
"I was in bed." He nearly spat.
"I didn't think that Q could sleep." Janeway stepped in.
"I never said I was sleeping, Aunt Kathy." He said, this time with a smile on his face.
"Were you with Icheb?" She asked, concern now present in her voice.
"Yes, I was." He said as-a-matter-of-factly.
"Please sit, Son. We have to talk to you." He obliged, somewhat begrudgingly, sitting on the plain sofa that sat in the corner of Admiral Janeway's office.
"Both your Aunt Kathy and I are concerned about your affection towards the drone."
"Why? I thought you were happy for me!"
"Does he even feel the same?" Kathryn asked.
"Actually, he does. We were cuddling when Q called me away."
"You may not have thought of this," Q jumped in, "But he is mortal."
"So?" he snapped.
"Well, he will age, and then he will die! He could spend the rest of his life with you, but you could not spend your life with him. You would have to move on, alone."
"I can adapt, if I must." He went to snap his fingers, but his father stopped him.
"There is another way." He insisted.
"How?"
"You could give him the opportunity to join the Q continuum."
Kathryn looked as if she were about to spit out the coffee she had replicated when they were talking.
"You would allow that?" She asked Q.
"Well, yes, if it would make my son happy. I'd offer it to you, as you have so much to offer the continuum still, but I doubt that you'd accept."
"Your right, I wouldn't. My place is here. But I am not so sure that Icheb would accept, either."
"Well," Junior re-entered the conversation, "There is only one way to find out.
**************
Icheb was lying in bed, wrapped in the warmth of his lover's embrace, and suddenly it was gone. He opened his eyes to see that Q had risen, back in his Starfleet uniform (completed by four pips, signifying captaincy). He leaned into icheb's forehead to kiss him, and stood straight again.
"My father has summoned me, I have to go." He whispered.
"Will you return?"
"I will try."
He laid awake for what seemed like hours, until Q finally returned. Icheb watched as he slid back out of his clothing and into the bed.
"What did your father want?" Truth be told, he was itching to know.
"He wanted to remind me of a few things." Q took the opportunity to once again wrap his arms around Icheb. It made him feel better. His father was upsetting, to say the least. He didn't want to think about it, he couldn't.
"Such as?" Icheb drew him out of his silent contemplation.
"Well, what would you say if you could be with me forever?" He asked.
"You are changing the subject, Q-ball." He informed him affectionately.
"No, I'm not at all. I promise, it's related."
"Well, that would be unrealistic."
"Why?"
"Because I am mortal."
"What if you didn't have to be?" He knew he would have to get to the point eventually. Icheb looked at him, still formulating his response.
"What did you and your father talk about?" He wasn't entirely sure he knew where this was going, but he had a hunch.
"He reminded me that eventually you would die, as all mortals do. He's worried that I will have trouble dealing with my emotions when you do. That's why he suggested that you become a Q." He now stared at the ceiling, too worried of what he may see in his lover's eyes, should he look. Icheb stared at him.
"I couldn't imagine living forever." Icheb finally spoke.
"Why not?" Q finally turned back to face him, "I could show you the cosmos the way they were meant to be viewed. You wouldn't be confined by sensors and spaceships. I could be just the two of us…and the stars."
"I can't be a Q. It is not who I was meant to be."
"I will stay with you, no matter what my father says." Icheb turned over to better see Q.
"I am glad, then."
The End