Ok so I and my sister thought of this last night. So I have to give her credit for this one.

Plus we got a little bit of the idea from a doujinshi about Matt and Mello, don't worry there will be no sex in this story I just got some depressing quotes from the story that we thought would fit nicely in this.

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Matt's POV

I always keep a journal with me where ever I go so I can Wright everything down on the day that it happened on, it doesn't matter what it is, whither it was the bad, or the good, sometimes it's just completely useless. Like whenever Near gets a new toy, or when Mello tripped over the couch and fell on me on accident. Or the first time I saw a jet stream.

It's my first year in Wammys house and today's my 6th birthday, there's a tradition here that if one person gets a present then every one else gets a chocolate bar, that's because Roger Watari (our/my foster parent) thinks its not fair if on person gets something and no one else does. The present that I got is a black leather journal with Matt written in gold writing, inside the journal their was a picture of our whole foster/orphan family, with no writing in the inside. At first I didn't understand why every one gave that to me, but Roger told me "Matt that book is from every one here and it's not for drawing, you'll find out something to use it for on your own." And of course I did find out what to do with it. I'm glad I did because I love looking back at what happened every day, right before I fall asleep.

9 years later

I'm now 15 and today's after noon is the day that Mello left all of us.

"Matt it's a present. I don't need it anymore so you take it, it's the software guides and other things you said you wanted to read…and you got the same research topic as me didn't you? You can use my findings."

"Even though you're leaving you still have time to worry about people's studies? Ha…well you'll be getting thanks from me."

The truth is I really don't want to let Mello leave, even if I had to resort to tying you down, I didn't want to separate from Mello. So why did I say something so stupid?

"I'm different from you and Near, I'm probably not going to achieve anything great. If your ganna leave then hurry up and fucking leave before you develop any emotional attachments, Mello"

Really I was the one with emotional attachment I just didn't to admit it.

"Yeah... that's true…excuse me Matt"

Because I was bitter, because I had no way to stop you…I let you Leave. And now Mello has disappeared right in front of my eyes, now I'm stuck here in the dark. Sure Near and Watari are still hear but it's not a family without Mello, No that's not true I'm nothing without Mello, I love Mello. This is one thing that I had to Wright down even if it hurts and always will hurt, I'll regret this day for the rest of my life; but I can't forget Mello not even for an instant. So I wrote down everything, I even remember the whole conversation I had this afternoon.

We will put up the next chapter either later today or sometime tomorrow.

We already know how the whole story will end up.

Sorry if this chapter sucked a little, we couldn't stop crying while typing it because, we have seven foster kittens and Two of them just died about 40 mins ago so it's hard to right this with out crying.

Holly died in my sister's arms around 10 minutes before Blane died in my arms.

Comments would be nice.

And no I'm not exaggerating on the age of the kittens and what happened, we foster cats until there old enough to get bought which is 6 weeks +