The Embrace of Weirdness
Summary: When Stan and Ford were sent to stay with their Grunkle Dipper they never thought they would end dealing with crazy wizards, zombies, lake monsters, and demons! And that's just the tip of the weird iceberg.
Notes:
1: I know there are others out there, but I started writing this a month ago and wanted to get it out. At can say that I'm the first to think of using Dipper instead of Mabel. (As far as I know.) I'll you figure out the rest of the story switches as the story goes on.
(Chapter 1: the Magic Book)
The tales begins with the summer of 2012. This was the summer where the parents of two identical twins decided they could use some fresh air for the summer instead of sitting inside playing video games all day. Or at least that was the case with Stanford, who was usually wrapped up in some sort of technical endeavor. In young Stanley's case they felt the country would give him a place to expend his vast mass of energy that usually got him in trouble. Often.
They shipped the twins up north to a sleepy town called Gravity Falls, Oregon, to stay at their great-uncle's place in the woods.
In the store of the shack, Ford was sketching in one of his books when his twin Stanley came up behind him with a mask.
"Boo!" Startled more by the sudden appearance than the mask itself, Ford fell back.
"AH!" Stan took off his mask and started laughing.
"Ahahahaha! Hahaha!" Ford gave him a playful glare.
"Stan! You jerk!" He tackled him and the two started to play wrestle. They stopped as an elderly man hobbled into the room. He leaning heavily on a silver cane with a handle shaped like a UFO.
"Alright you two! That enough," he said gruffly. "Cut it out before you two break something."
Their grunkle Alvin Pines, or Dipper as he was commonly known as, had transformed his house into a tourist trap he called "The Mystery Shack" To Stanley the only mystery was how the place was standing as it looked as if it was built on the ultimate sugar high with a threat of seizure from the bright lights. Unlike him, Ford was in love with the place as he had always had a fascination with weird stuff. Stanley fingered this was because Stanford had a strange birth defect that gave him six fingers on each hand. In addition to this Stanford also had the smarts to rival any mad scientist. Stanley didn't mind the weird stuff, but was in for the fun rather than the mystery.
"Don't be such a wet towel, Grunkle Dippy! We won't break-" Stan stretched his arms and accidentally knocked over a jar of eye-balls. The boys flinched as the jar shattered. Stanley gave Dipper an apologetic laugh as the older man gave him a flat look.
"Eh, heh... oops!" A woman with an adorable face and large size body came over.
"I'm on it." And she immediately started sweeping up the mess, her thick, dark brown curls bouncing. Dipper sighed, running a hand through his hair.
"Thanks, Aletta." Then he turned to Stan who mentally prepared himself for a scolding. Instead, Dipper reached over and handed him some signs. "Here; I need someone to go hammer up these signs in the forest. Can you guys do that for me?" Stanley nodded confidently.
"No problem!" He glanced at his brother. "Hey maybe we can look around in that spooky part while we're at it." He nudged him and Ford nudged him back.
"Yeah! Maybe we'll find some sort of secret treasure. Or vampires!" he agreed.
"No! Stan, just hang then along the path, alright?" Stanley and Ford's shoulder's slumped.
"Aww! Grunkle Dipper..." they groaned in unison.
"Now don't you two start that again," Dipper knelt down between the two and put a hand on both their shoulders. "Look, I know you're curious; I was young once too." Stan scoffed.
"What, like a hundred years ago?"
"The point is that it's dangerous out there," Dipper pressed on. "There are all sorts of weird things out there and I would never forgive myself if something bad happened to you out here. So just do me a favor and stay on the path?" The twins gave a disappointed sigh in unison.
"Kay..." Dipper gave them a light hug.
"Okay then! Have fun and be careful." he told them. "I have to get back to the tour group. These flashy lights don't pay for themselves. And neither do the seizure lawsuits."
As soon as the twins were outside, they shared a look.
"Race ya to the spooky woods, poindexter!" Stanley said as he nudged the other. Ford nudged him back.
"You're on, muscle brain!" They started to run towards the woods, despite their uncle's orders, when suddenly Ford stopped. The reason for this was in the form of an Asian girl at the age of sixteen.
"Hi guys. What is up?"She was herding Waddles, Dipper's giant pet pig, into the house through the back door. Ford cleared his throat and tried acting "cool."
"Oh! Hey. You know, nothing. Just helping Dipper put up signs." he said.
"Oh. I see. Well, try not to get into trouble out and do anything like, oh I dunno... raise the dead." she teased. Candy was the counter girl at the shack and helped with stock. While Stan liked her well enough Ford had a huge crush on her.
"What's that?" Stan nodded at the stereo near Candy's feet.
"Oh! This is my Karaoke box," she responded. "I'm trying to convince Dipper into setting up a karaoke room so we can sing our hearts out!" She waved the microphone around and sung the last part.
"Whoa, that would be rockin'!" Ford said, doing a weird pose. Stan gave them both a flat look.
"Pssh! You mean lame!" Ford elbowed him. "Ow~!" Candy sighed.
"Yeah, Dipper's not too fond of the idea himself." she said. "But perhaps a little pop-rock will change his mind!" She turned on the machine and started singing at the top of her lungs. "Ohh, oh! Takin' over midnight!"
"Gah! Candy, enough! I told you no!" Dipper yelled from inside the shack. "Especially not that song!"
"He'll come around." Candy said confidently.
A few failed songs later, Stan finally managed to get Ford to stop making goo-goo eyes at Candy and come to the woods.
"You like her!" Stan teased.
"Do not!"
"You like her!"
"Shut up!" Stanley laughed as Ford chased him deeper into the woods. They were running along the path, laughing happily when a pebble hit the back of Ford's head.
"Ow! What the heck?" Ford turned and saw three other children. One of them was Robbie. A punk of a kid who had bullied the twins since they got there.
"Well, well, if it ain't the loser twins. Grandpa finally get sick of you two and send you to live with the wood trolls?" Stan stood protectively in front of Ford.
"You would know, Robbie! Get lost!" he snapped.
"Or what? You gonna use a lame laser from your uncle's weirdo shack to blast me?" Robbie scoffed.
"Listen, losers, and listen good;" he pointed at Ford first. "You're a six-fingered freak-" he pointed at Stan. "-and you're just a... dumber, sweatier version o' him. And you're lucky you have each other because neither of you will ever make any friends, even here in this loser town!" Laughing, Robbie turned to his friends and they left. "Ha, hahahaha! Dorks and losers..."
Stan glared after him. He then noticed his brother looking disparagingly at his hands. He put on a brotherly smile and touched his hands.
"Hey. Don't let those idiots get to you." he told him.
"But I am a freak," Ford bemoaned. "I just wonder if there's anywhere in the world where weirdos like me fit in." Stan grinned.
"Well, this place is a good start." Then he pulled Ford up. "Chin up, buddy. Look. One of these days, you and me are gonna be an unstoppable team of adventurers. We'll hunt for treasure, get all the girls, and do all sorts of awesome things."
"You really mean it?" Stan nodded.
"High six?" Ford smiled.
"High six."
They shared a quiet moment before they decided it was awkward.
"C'mon. We better hang up the signs." Ford told his brother.
"Yeah. Since Dip head's too old to do it himself." Stanley held a sign up and started to hammer it when it makes a metallic sound.
"Huh? Ford you hear that?" He tapped the tree once again and more sounds appeared. Ford experimentally knocked on it for himself. He then wipe away some old dust and opened a secret window revealing a silver box with several gems.
"Whoa! What's that?" he asked. Stan shrugged.
"I dunno but look at those! That's gotta be a year's worth of candy there!" Stanley tried to use the hammer to pull the jewels out, but suddenly they started to glow. The boys stumbled back and turned as something sprouted from the ground behind them. The sprout bloomed into a giant pink daisy and opened up to reveal a white journal with a shooting star on the cover.
"That's..."
"Really girly." Stanley finished. "Really, really girly."
"That's what you're focused on?"
"How can I not!"
Ford stepped forward and cautiously grabbed the diary. He winced for a moment, then let out a sigh of relief when nothing happened. Feeling safe, he looked the dairy over. It really was girly. It had glitter and bedazzled jewels all over the cover with a shooting star. On the cover was the number three.
Ford opened it and flipped to a page with an eye-glass is in it.
"Hey, this what those 'posh' people wear." Stanley said over his shoulder.
"Maybe you could start wearing that since you refuse to wear your glasses." Stanley scoffed.
"No way! We've already got one dork running around here."
"Hey, look at this," Ford positioned the book so both could read it. "'It's hard to believe it's been six whole years since I began my studies of the magic-" this word was written in glitter and pink. "-in Gravity Falls, Oregon.'"
"'Magic?' Seriously? Who believes in that weird stuff?" Ford nudged him.
"Shut up! Look at at this." He showed Stanley a page that read in large, scribbled letters, "TRUST NO ONE."
"Whoa. Someone was paranoid." Ford purposely ignored him as he continued reading.
"'Unfortunately, my suspicions have been confirmed. I'm being watched. I must hide this book before he finds it. Remember: in Gravity Falls there is no one you can trust. Which is why I need someone outside-'" Ford quickly turned to his twin. "Stan, do you know what this mean?"
"That there was a some weird paranoid person around here who spent their time chasing hallucinations?" Ford rolled his eyes in frustration.
"No! It means something strange is going here!" he snapped. "Something weird is going on here. I mean, you saw the weird flowery thing two seconds ago, right? And just this morning, my mosquito bites spelled out "BEWARE.'" Stan squinted hard at Dipper's arm.
"That says 'BEWARB,' doesn't it?" Ford scratched his arm, but didn't reply. "Look, Ford; this all just silly stuff! You know those things don't really exist. Watch, I'll show you." Stan took the book and flipped through the pages. Stanley had to bring the book really close to his face to read, making Ford scrunch his own. If Stan wasn't so stubborn... "Let's see...Gnomes, cursed objects, spells! Ha! Here's a good one," Stanley cleared his throat.
"Uh, Stanley-"
"Corpus Levitus! Diablo Dominus! MONDO VICIUM!" 'Vicium' echoed through the air, as a large gust blew through their hair. Then everything fell silent.
After a moment, Stanley straightened himself out.
"Hah! See I told-" The ground suddenly started shaking and a huge crack forms between the boys. Both Ford and Stanley leaped back in fear. Green smoke emitted from the crack as a hand reached out. The hand then pulled out the body of a zombie!
"AHH!"
"Stanley! Wh-what did you?!"
"Isn't it obvious?!" The zombie slowly pulled itself from the hole with a roar. Then it crawled towards Stanley. Ford's eyes widen.
"STAN!" Stan panicked and lashed out with his fist as hard as he could. Despite his young age, Stanley was very, very strong. As such when his fist collided with the creature it knocked him out. Stanley blinked, surprised that it went down so easily.
"Huh?" Ford jumped over the crack and ran over to his twin.
"Stan! Are you alright?!" he asked as he helped the other up. Stanley nodded slowly.
"Uhh...yeah. I'm fine." He licked his dry lips. "What was that?"
"It was a zombie! You raised a zombie from the dead!"
"Really? Cool! Hey, did you see me punch it out?" Ford walked over and picked up the diary.
"Do you believe me now?" he asked, almost reproachful.
"Okay, okay! You were right. Again." Stanley muttered. "There is something weird going on-"
The ground started shaking again and more cracks formed with more green smoke emerging. Suddenly hundreds of zombies appeared and each of them were staring at the boys, who shared a cry.
"Run!"
The kids ran back to the shack as fast as they could. Candy greeted them with a wave.
"Hey, guys. What's—OH MY!" She stepped back fearfully as all the zombies started to surround the shack. They came from the woods and roads, all moaning and groaning like teenagers.
Candy turned to the boys, hands on her hips.
"Boys, what did I tell you two not to do?" Stan's shoulders drooped as she and ford glared.
"Raise the dead." he said, sounding ashamed.
"And what did you do?"
"Raised the dead."
A zombie lashed at them and almost hit them before they duck. Candy picked up the karaoke machine and swung at the zombie.
"Take that, undead sucka!" The machine collided with the Zombie and it's head flew off. "Huh! This things a surprisingly good weapon!" The zombies growled and the three ran around the side of the house, the other zombies in slow pursuit. Stanley grabbed a shovel from Waddles' pig pen and used it to attack a zombie.
"Ford! What do we do?!" Ford thought fast.
"Umm-Quick! The golf cart!" he cried. The three ran towards the cart, but the Zombies attacked it, tipping it over and biting at it.
"Aw, come on!" Stan yelled just before Ford pulled him away from a zombie hand that lashed out. The Zombies continued advancing toward the twins, who backed against the wall in fear as they clung to each other.
"Aaahhh!"
"Where the heck is Dipper?!" Stan yelped.
(*
Meanwhile inside the shack Dipper was showing some tourist a swirly pattern on a stick.
"Behold! The world's most distracting object."
"Oooh..."
"Just try to look away, you can't!" Dipper stared deeply in the thing as the whole world started to fade. "I can't even remember what I was talking about."
None of them even heard the boys or the zombies outside.
(*
"Don't worry! As the responsible teen I shall protect-" Candy was cut off as she was suddenly bitten by a stray Zombie head, which was gnawing on her ankle. "Huh. Never mind." Her eyes went yellow as she transformed before them into a zombie. "Um, now that I am a brain eater, can I have your brains?"
"AAHH!" The kids scream and run into the Shack where they slam the door.
"Quick! We need to board up all the windows!" Ford cried. In the corner of the room, Waddles was asleep ignoring everything. The twins pile things in front of the door in an attempt to bloc it, but the zombies pressed against it, making it crack.
"O-okay, smart guy! What do we do now?!" Stanley asked. Ford quickly picked up the diary and flipped through the pages.
"Uh! Uh! Here! 'Zombies have a weakness! Previously thought to be invincible, their skulls can be shattered by a perfect two part harmony.'"
"You mean we've gotta sing them to death?!" Stan yelled. "Are you serious?!"
"Hey! This is your fault! You summoned them!" Ford yelled back. Suddenly they hear a crash at the side. Candy poked her head in.
"Hello, boys! Just so you know I taught the zombies how to get into the fuse box. I am an alpha leader among these guys!" The lights went out and the zombies started climbing in through the window. They were thrown back when the lights returned with a vengeance. Candy chuckled.
"Oops! I forgot about the backup generators. We have about sixteen of those." Ford took this chance to grab Stan and run up the stairs. Waddles peeked his head up, thought about following, then decided against it as he went back to sleep. The zombies ignored him for some reason.
Stanley continued bashing zombies with his fists, then backed up the stairs as more enter from the front door. Ford pulled him up the stairs and once they reached the top they pushed over a grandfather clock with a grunt, sending it tumbling into the horde of zombies. The twins then ran into their room and slammed the door.
"How are we going to create a two part harmony?" Ford said, mostly to himself.
"Well, you've a naturally high-pitched scream and I can make noises with my body? Sometimes intentionally." Stan said quickly. Suddenly Candy's karaoke machine burst through the window. "Huh. That's... convenient?"
(*
All the zombies made their way outside as everything inside was destroyed. Candy followed as well, but as they passed the gift shop she caught a glimpse of the hypnosis device in Dipper's hand. The device had made all the people so brain dead that the zombies didn't even register them.
"Ooh... it's cheapness is hypnotizing." Candy said, watching the device. A zombie called her, but she wasn't moving. "Shhh! It is speaking to me..."
(*
"Ready, Stan?" Ford said, rolling back his shoulders. Stan stood stiffly like a deer caught in the spot light as the music started. He frowned at the lyrics, trying to read them.
"Uh, Ford? Our lives may not be worth this." he said.
"Do you want to get eaten?! Look, just sing!" Stan squinted at the screen.
"'Friday night, and we're gonna party 'til dawn. Don't worry, Daddy, (questioningly) I've got my favorite dress on?!' Ford this is stupid!" Ford started to sing as zombies start crawling up the roof.
"'Roll in to the party, the boys are lookin' our way/We just keep dancin'/We don't care what they say! And all the boys are gettin' up in my face—' Aah!" He jumped back as a zombie swiped. "Stan! We have to sing together or it won't work!" Stan moaned begrudgingly.
"Ugh! 'Boys are a bore, let's show 'em the door.'" Then the twins started to sing together.
"'We're takin' over the dance floor! Oh-oh! Girls do what we like!'" As their voices harmonized a sound wave echoed out, causing the zombies to cover their ears. A few of them had their heads explode into gooshy green goo. Seeing that it was working, the boys continued singing louder.
"'Oh-oh! We're taking over tonight! Oh-oh! Girls do what we like! Oh-oh! We're taking over tonight!'" As they sang, more and more zombies exploded. "'We're queens of the disco! Oh-oh! Girls do what we like! Oh-oh! We're taking over tonight!'"
"'Takin' over tooniiiiight!'" sang Ford who was getting way too into this. Suddenly a zombie popped it's head up. Ford screams, but Stan rushes over to deliver one last hit.
"BOOM! Deal with it, zombie idiots!" he said with a maniacal laugh. Then together the twins chanted,
"PINES! PINES! PINES! PINES!"
(*
Below, in the shop the device finally stopped turning. Dipper shook his head as his mind returned to him.
"Whoa. That was a...trip..." he looked around at the devastation and random zombie parts. "Uh, what just... sigh. Never mind. Aletta!" Aletta entered the room and started vacuuming body parts.
"I vacuum now." she said pleasantly.
"Mommy, can we get this broken zombie skull?"
*(
After the whole incident the twins, retreated downstairs to the living room where they both jumped in the sofa chair.
"Um, Ford? Sorry 'bout summoning the undead." Stan said, shifting guiltily. Ford smiled lightly as he nudged him.
"That's okay." Ford pulled out the dairy and the two flipped through the pages. "We're gonna have to be careful, Stan. Look at the last page; it just stops, like the person who was writing this mysteriously disappeared."
"Whoa. It's like a plot for a book series."
"Right? This all so cool!" Ford said excitedly. "We're gonna have to keep this between us. If Dipper found out he'd go super protective on us. And everyone else could be a suspect." Stan frowned.
"In what?" Ford shrugged.
"I.. dunno. Yet! But I know there's something and the answers are all in here." Ford patted the book just as Candy suddenly broke through the wall. The boys screamed.
"Blahh...Blahhh... Oh, wait. That is vampires, isn't it? Tee, hee! I am so silly." she said. Stanley jumped up.
"Don't worry, Sixer! I'll handle this! Sorry, Candy! Looks like we gotta kill you again." Stan grabbed a chair, but Ford stopped him.
"Wait! There's a page in here about curing zombification. It's gonna take a lot of formaldehyde and cinnamon though." Stan sighed.
"Really? Sigh! Okay. Let's fix up your girlfriend." Ford glared as Stan used the chair to push Candy away. "Come on Candy. Let's fix you up."
"Brains! Braaains!" she moaned.
"Cut it out!" Candy giggled.
"Hee, hee, oops! Sorry!"
(End of chapter 1)
Just for the record I'm switching/making things up as I go. So who knows what will happen.
I made Candy Wendy's replacement because while I like the idea of Manly Dan having a bigger roll, I don't think he'd be Ford's romantic type. Ford's type would be someone smart who always praises him. I dunno, I just always thought Candy would be Ford's type (if it wasn't for the age thing).
As for the zombie thing, I wanted to start the story with a bang and plus you cannot tell me that Stan wouldn't be the type to accidentally summon zombies the moment he first got the book.
Well, review! And tell me what you would like to see in the future.