Rodney as usual, was conducting the conversation at their table. He was aided by a darting forkful of...something... that resembled coleslaw, if you squinted. Bits of not-slaw were dotting the table in the wake of a particularly forceful comment. In the brief moments when McKay paused for breath and another mouthful, Teyla or Ronon would slip in wry remarks or perplexed questions. So far the only input that had been required of John was occasional eye contact and a sardonic smirk. As his teammate's conversation flowed over and around him, most of his attention was aimed at unobtrusively checking out the lunch crowd.
While there was no apparent threat in the bustling lunch hall, years of training and experience demanded that Sheppard remain vigilant. Pushing his tray away he leaned back, draping an arm over the back of his chair. His change in position earned an odd glancing frown from McKay. But other than a minimal falter, the scientist continued to dominate the chatter. Nodding vacantly at his teammates, a small repetitive motion at the corner of John's eye snagged his attention. Casually angling his head for a better look he glanced over at the next table, and cursed softly under his breath. Tension straightened his back from a seemingly relaxed sprawl, to a slightly less seemingly relaxed sprawl.
Unbelievable... simply un-freaking-believable. Lorne was sketching Rodney, again. John felt his jaw clench in frustration. The first time he'd noticed the major's art project, it had been kind of amusing. But by the forth time the amusement had faded. Now it had been replaced by a low grade irritation. An irritation that was increasing exponentially every time he saw Lorne sitting quietly in the background with his ever present sketchbook. Evan's long fingers flying over the page, he'd pause every so often to dart supposedly inconspicuous glances at McKay and John's stomach would do a long slow roll of discomfort.
As Sheppard saw it, this was a potential no win situation. Lorne was a good officer and an excellent 2IC. He hardly ever complained when John dumped... well make that, delegated paperwork. Dammit he would hate like hell to lose the major to an inappropriate crush and subsequent court marshal. He'd seen it before, soldiers thinking they were flying under the radar, letting their guard down, only to get caught by someone less than tolerant. Someone who couldn't grasp that choices in bed partners had nothing to do with a person's qualifications. Ultimately the only thing that mattered, was if the person beside you, had your back. And, that they could be counted on when things went sliding sideways into a pile of shit. Lorne was a stand up guy and the expedition had already lost too many personal to the unexpected dangers of the Pegasus Galaxy. Losing Lorne to something this inconsequential was unthinkable. Besides, he really didn't want to have to break in a new guy.
As much as Sheppard was annoyed at Lorne for being so damned obvious, he was also extremely exasperated with Rodney for being completely oblivious. McKay, for a man that had such an insatiable curiosity, was also remarkably unobservant. John had honestly thought he was getting better. After all he had lived through numerous deadly situations both off world and at home on Atlantis. Rodney was an incredibly quick study and by now he really should have learned to be more aware of his surroundings. While Sheppard found the cluelessness slightly charming in a befuddled absent-minded genius sort of way, he would never, ever admit that out loud. There was no way Rodney would let him live that admission down and besides it was dangerous. The scientist truly was the smartest man in two galaxies and other people had expressed interest in him for nefarious purposes. Which was the polite way of saying they kidnapped him and tried to torture him into making big-ass weapons. John objected to that on principle. The only one McKay should be making weapons for, was him. So, yeah he figured it was time to schedule some refresher lessons for the CSO. The man should really notice someone watching him. Even if it was someone he knew and trusted.
Although with a little reflection John decided not to inform Rodney of Lorne's interest. It'd probably just make a bad situation worse. McKay would get awkward and flustered around the major, inadvertently destroying any chance of plausible deniability. No it was in everyone's best interest if John handled this situation himself and nipped it in the bud.
With a abrupt scrape Sheppard pushed his chair back from the table. Ignoring the surprised looks directed at him by his team he stood. Bracing his arms on the table he leaned forward into McKay's personal space. Holding the position until he was sure Lorne had noticed, he allowed himself a soft grin at Rodney's squawk.
"Ok McKay you're done, time to hit the range for some target practice."
"What? What? Who says I'm done?...I'm clearly not done."
"Yes, you are."
"But there's cake. Almost-chocolate cake."
Leaning back, crossing his arms, and jutting out a lazy hip, John pulled out the big guns. Smirking he raised a meaningful eyebrow at the reluctant scientist and jiggled it playfully.
"C'mon Raaawdney, It'll be fun." Sheppard cajoled in a voice loud enough to carry to the next table.
"But cake..." Rodney eyed the serving line mournfully, already halfway to giving in.
Moving to stand beside McKay, John picked up both their trays and handed them to Rodney. As the scientist stood, John casually bumped shoulders with him.
"Forget almost-chocolate, I've got some Cadbury bars. I might be persuaded to share them, if you're a good little scientist and come shoot some targets."
"Oh. Well, why didn't you say so?" McKay's clear blue eyes took on that special sheen usually reserved for ZPMs, good coffee and real chocolate.
Looking first at Teyla and Ronon, John rolled his eyes in amusement before directing his gaze back at the now eager Rodney.
"I just did."
Mckay pushed his chair in and headed towards the door. Pausing halfway there, he glanced back at John, snapping his fingers impatiently.
"Well hurry up Colonel. This was your idea and I am as you know, a very busy man."
John shook his head ruefully, said a hasty "see ya" to Teyla and Ronon and hurried to catch up to Rodney. As he passed by Major Lorne's table he noticed with not a little satisfaction that the pencils and sketchbook had been packed up. By the time he reached the exit McKay was watching him, eyes narrowed in suspicion.
"You're trying to trick me into jogging aren't you?"
"No, you don't have to do any jogging," Sheppard chuckled indulgently before adding "today."
Placing a satisfied hand in the small of Mckay's back, John led the sputtering scientist from the cafeteria and away from the watchful eyes of Major Lorne.
TBC