Chapter 1: Funeral

Summary: Emily committed suicide. Everyone is left to pick up the pieces. This is a dedication to people who have committed or are thinking about committing suicide. May the successful ones rest in peace, and for those who are thinking about it, hopefully this story will change your mind.

Jayden

It was a Tuesday afternoon. 4:24 to be exact. Mia had screamed…..we all ran to the bathroom and saw Emily out cold on the floor…..a pill bottle in her hand. She didn't look like she was breathing…

We all were overwhelmed with feelings. I felt upset, hurt, and lastly, loss of trust…..not trust in my teammates, trust in myself. How could I miss the sign?!

It was now a week later. We were all dressed up to say goodbye to our once alive friend, now laying in the Earth, in a bed that….a bed that even her would find gloomy, and she was optimistic.

Her parents had asked us questions. Her very few, but close, friends wanted answers. And we couldn't answer a single question.

Her parents were crushed. Serena hung back because she was too full of grief that she couldn't process anything, and couldn't move. Serena, according to her parents, had blamed herself.

Her parents believed that they were to blame. They had brought her into this world, a truly unpredictable world, and when she was bullied, they should've acted more. But we all know it was impossible. They already went above and beyond of what most parents would do. Emily was always grateful for her parents. She was grateful for her family and friends.

Her closest friend, Kaysie Adams, had blamed herself. She thought that if she just texted her or something…..she thought she may still be alive.

Kevin, Mike, Mia, and I can hear whispers from her friends. Most were about how much they miss her.

Then…..just at that moment, a tall slim guy walked in. He had a tan. His hair was black and his eyes are green.

He just walked up to Emily's final resting place, a coffin. He started to whisper something.

I walked closer.

"...sorry Emily….I'm so sorry. I feel horrible for what I did to you. I wish I could take it all back. I'll see you in heaven one day baby face." He said. He then walked away after placing a rose on her chest.

"What is he doing here?" Emily's mother asked me. I can see tears lurking on her cheeks.

"He was saying he was sorry, placed a rose in her chest. Why? Who is he?" I asked.

"That's Shane Dawns. Someone who always hated Emily, just from a glance he would practically try to murder her. Emily feared him, every day before school she would say bye to me as if it's the last time I'd see her….all because she didn't know if she'd die because of him…." She said. She walked away in tears, more tears now than when she first came up to me. I can understand why too. I had tears way worse now after hearing that.

I walked up to Emily's resting place, I never wanted to call this a coffin….

I looked down at her. The people who prepped her, got her dressed, got her well….ready had done so much. They had dyed her hair a bit brighter using natural chemicals to lighten her hair, had put make up on her to give her face so more life, and done her nails and makeup. But no matter what they did, she still looked dead.

I can remember Emily's suicide letter she had in the bottle.

Dear Mom And Dad:

I am sorry, but this world is just not my place. I have tried so hard to fit in but no matter what, nothing changed. Don't blame yourselves. There's nothing for me here, I'm just a waste of space. I've got no reason to stay here in a place of hate. It's a disgrace, I was misplaced, born in the wrong time, in the wrong place. But I can't deal with the pain, I'm not a fighter. And you'll make it through the night, just hug your pillow tighter. And I know in a year you'll forget I'm gone, because I'm not really something to be dwelled on. That's what they used to tell me, those kids at school. So I'm going by the law, Majority rules. My presence on this Earth is not needed any longer and if anything, I hope this makes you stronger.

And To Serena:

You're the best friend that I ever had. Such a shame I had to make you so very sad. Just remember that you meant everything to me and to my heart you're the only one that held the key. Now it's time to go, and yes I lost my fight but please just hold on tight. I'm watching over you, from the clouds above and sending down the purest and whitest dove to watch over you and be my helpful eye, this is it world, goodbye….

To Jayden, Mike, Kevin, and Mia

You were the greatest team I could ever wanted. Just keep fighting those nasty nighlok, and never give up. You guys can win this I know it. And don't think so much about me. I'm watching you too. And stay strong guys. I may have lost my fight, lost my war, but this is not the end. I promise….

And to my bullies:

I am so sorry for everything that I did. I never meant harm, and certainly not to you, any of you….

And everyone:

I'm sorry

Emily

(The part of Serena and her parents are from Courtney Parker- Her Last Words)

I cried when I read it. We all cried. We wept and screamed and cried and begged for her to return.

I wish I could tell Emily that Suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem.

"I feel like I am drowning, but everyone around me is breathing…." we had found in her diary later that night…

"I just want to escape…..I want to be free….free from pain…..from torture. I fake a smile everyday, fake a laugh, barely being able to move and live, but I can't….."

She had such a pure heart…..Why did she have to go….

Everyone across the country, probably continent, was mourning for Emily. Her face was plastered with "DID IT REALLY TAKE A GRAVE FOR HER TO BE FREE?'

My answer is….yes….because we all missed the signs, but if we saw them, then my answer would be no. If only we payed more attention to her.

Maybe she wouldn't be in her final resting place, her symbol, Earth….

"Please come back to me Emily…." I begged.

Her parents cried into each other. Serena had fallen into depression. She didn't talk anymore…..

Her friends had felt like they could've saved her.

Her bullies feel as worse as she did…..now that she's gone, they learned how their actions affect others…..

We just feel like a person with a great heart, a heart of gold, was ripped away from us. We felt broken. We all felt as worse as Emily…..actually….Emily felt worse than us. But the pain we felt….was horrible, but Emily felt worse…..

If she felt like this all the time, I would want help too….but if no one was helping….I wouldn't know what to do.

I hope Emily feels at peace with herself…..I hope she doesn't feel anymore pain.

I can't imagine what she went through….

I can't imagine what she felt…

I can't imagine her future or her past….

I just know it must have been really bad to lead her to suicide…

I just want to tell her so badly how much I love her….how much that this problem wouldn't last forever. But now….Emily lost the rest of her life.

Her parents lost their youngest daughter….

Serena lost her younger sis- best friend.

Her friends lost their friend….

We lost our best friend, our sister, and our role model.

I want to hug her again….I want to hold her tight and never let go….

I just want her back….

I hope this had gotten tears, because I want to show how upsetting suicide can be. If anyone wants help, I am willing to talk, willing to listen….

To those thinking about suicide: Don't do it, get help, it may be too late for Emily, but it's not for you. I wanted to get this message out to you because one of my friends was thinking about suicide so this matter is huge. This is how people (to my best) would feel about you if you were to do it. I was trying to show how people felt, her friends, bullies, siblings, and of course family when news had reached that Emily had done suicide. I had cried myself a few times while writing this. I jsut want you to get help, talk to someone. Please. I promise you someone cares, someone loves you. If you don't believe that….I love you. I love you why? Well….I love you because you're you. And you're unique, and you're special. You weren't brought to this world just to be here, no! You were brought here to do something. I promise you. You are special, don't let anyone tell you otherwise. You're an amazing person. You just gotta believe it.

If you see or hear someone thinking about suicide, try to get them help. Alert their parents if possible, if not, go over and speak to them, be their friend and help them.

Feel free to message me if you are thinking about suicide, I want you to know you are loved, so feel free to message, I promise I will get back to you asap, even if I have to stop what I am doing, that is how important you are to me. I promise.

-BaybieBlue