Written for EvilAngelTeamGabe & I hope she smiles at this fic, since it took me so long to think of a new idea!
I don't own anything
The only characters added to this story are Casey and Vicky XD
So. A high speed car chase between a crazy ass vampire and two people - just the normal events in Morganville. Yes, there are vampires: if you are reading this fic, you know about the existence of the living dead... or the undead – it doesn't really matter what you call them, the author decides as she writes this at break time; it only matters about the car chase.
"Jeez, Shane, we don't want to die - I guess the occupant of the other car is Myrnin," Casey says with a grin before lurching over the side of the seat as Shane completes a scary ninety degree angle turn to end with them hurtling down another street of desolation.
He turns to look at the beauty in the passenger seat next to him and looks amazed at her sense of deduction in the situation before returning his focus to the wheel as he completes a dangerous manoeuvre around an abandoned haystack in the middle of the road: having hay in sunny Texas isn't a problem, just why it is in Morganville is the question…
"Casey, honey, how did you figure out that it was Myrnin in the car: all the vamp cars look the same?" Shane questions his girlfriend as she is thrown into him by the force by which they turn around yet another corner – they don't have much road left in Morganville and you can bet their asses that Amelie would have someone on them (probably whichever dude is in the car behind them – no girl would drive that fast for fear of breaking their nails) faster than you can say "We're free!"
"You forget that Myrnin doesn't actually have a license, since Richard refused to give him one, so he is the only one in Morganville who drives like such a maniac," Casey laughs before continuing on with her explanation. "Also, he's the only one who would bother to pursue us, since every normal vamp would have probably just called the cops to follow us – finally, he is the only one who would actually want to get into a high speed car chase and that car was the one that actually began the chase," she explains her reasoning, making Shane take his eyes off the road to look at her in amazement.
"Jeez, you are a genius!" he exclaims. "Ahhh, bollocks!" he cries in disappointment, his face like this: because they have finally ran out of road.
They pull over on the side and the vamp car drives at a menacing speed towards them, managing to even knock over a small tree as the driver is that bad. The identity of the driver is confirmed when the horn is beeped and the English national anthem begins to play – only one vampire is crazily patriotic enough (even though he is technically welsh… and Wales technically has a prince) to have that as a honk tune… Myrnin.
Casey knows that there was a reason as to why Amelie had made sure that Myrnin knew this car was to be used in emergencies only. She is wondering why his calming influence of a girlfriend, Vicky, isn't around (quite evident since she wouldn't have permitted him to even drive the car) until she remembers that Vicky had to work today…just whether it was working for Amelie, her kind of best friend in a sense, or at the hospital, Casey can't remember… the prospect of a wonderful day out with Shane sort of pushed anything out of her head that the wonderful friend she has said to her this morning…
"Greetings, young friends!" Myrnin exclaims as he opens the window to greet them, not even bothered about the sun with his expression in a similar shaping to this :D
"What do you want, Myrnin?" Shane sighs, wanting a wonderfully romantic day with his girlfriend, rather than engaging in a stupid (but highly entertaining) car chase and then having to put up with one of his best friend's boyfriends… "Wait, why aren't you turning into a tomato, like you should be?" he asks in a confused tone, both his and Casey's faces looking something like this o_O.
"I just perfected the bestest creation I have ever made – something which means that I, Amelie and Sam are able to go out in the sunlight with minimal pain!" he exclaims loudly, happiness evident in his tone. Shane rolls his eyes *eyes roll* at this, because he doesn't like the fact that Myrnin can now come and harass him during the day outside as well as all of the rest of the time…
"So, why did you decide to engage in a highly illegal and stupid car chase with us, just to tell us that?" Casey asks, growing impatient with just standing in the luscious grassland. The author has just decided that they stopped in a very grassy area, where it is bright green and clean, so that something which will happen in this fic has a reason to happen rather than just spontaneously happening.
"Oh no," Myrnin responds with a grin, turning the engine of the car off and stepping out into the sunlight for the first time (without much pain) for hundreds of years. From here, he walks to the boot – an ominous sign – whilst Shane and Casey exchange looks of panic. "You see, I was a little lonely when Vicky went to work: Amelie and Sam are having 'kooky time' so I can't go there and, honestly, experiments are boring without my genius girlfriend, so I decided that you two could be a new path of fun for me!" he exclaims at the end, getting over his seeming despair at the beginning.
"We're having a day out," Shane says sharply and Myrnin shrugs, lifting over three chairs, a table, a picnic blanket and a wicker basket full of food and alcohol… ooohh, this could be interesting!
"And I need to have some people to share this lovingly prepared picnic with me and it doesn't seem as if you have any plans out here… I mean, if you don't want to, I could just go and tell Amelie or someone about our little antics: I wouldn't get in trouble but you could," he threatens the two of them subtly, so that he can get his own way, and Casey smiles slightly, whilst Shane is just like :O
"Fine, we'll share your damned picnic," Shane growls and Myrnin grins widely, plonking a ridiculous straw hat on his head as he sorts everything out…
OoOo
So, they begin to enjoy the food. That is, until Casey finds a conspicuous hair in one of the foods that shouldn't be there, and looks distinctly like Myrnin's. The result is that she proclaims she is full, before proceeding to lob the custard cream – this food simply because the author remembers it from Harry Potter, she thinks – right into Myrnin's happy face.
This, of course, causes mayhem with the fact that she is with two alpha males and the fact that there is rather a lot of food left only fuels the fire when they begin to throw food at one another.
"What's the matter, old man?" Shane grins as he manages to hit Myrnin square on in the face with a pork pie. "This using a little too much energy for you? Do you need to go and sit down?" he continues to taunt him, ducking as the competing vampire aims a custard tart at him. It ends up hitting the grass, splattering everywhere, and they both move in another direction, closer to a food source, where they proceed to lob different foods at one another, forgetting about Casey entirely.
Unfortunately, Casey gets caught in the crossfire.
"That is enough!" she screeches, as the disgusting pot of home made egg mayo flies into her face, leaving her blinded for a minute and unable to smell anything but the diabolical smell of… yep, he made it with rotten eggs.
"Since you initiated the fight, you have no right to say that it is enough until the entirety of the food has been used," Myrnin states simply, but moves to help her over to safety, handing her a towel before darting back to the food fight.
Casey sighs deeply - *invokes a deep sigh* - and proceeds to wring the egg mayo, the ham bits, the coleslaw, and god knows what else out of her hair, until she spots something in the basket.
A pipe…
Instinctively, she can tell that it is a pot pipe, which must be Myrnin's (no wonder he is so crazy sometimes) because neither she nor Shane take drugs… but she wonders what it would taste like, what it would feel like, to take a few drags of the pipe. Vicky hates drugs – and the author would like to point out here that drugs are entirely harmful things and possibly influential readers should NOT take drugs – so this must be the other reason why Myrnin had this little party; to get high.
She roots through the basket for the lighter, but can't find one by the time that Myrnin returns with Shane; all fooded out being the only reason they aren't still at it. Silently, Casey hands Shane her disgusting towel but he takes it with thanks, proceeding to take a lot of the grime and food from the clothes which used to be nice.
"I'll light it for you," Myrnin offers, producing a packet of matches from his pocket as he spots the pot pipe in Casey's hand. Before she can protest, he is already lighting it and throwing the still alight match on the grass which the author would now like to point out is entirely synthetic and placed here last night by Myrnin who wanted the little picnic party to happen on a bit of land similar to a pretty park.
So, of course, throwing a match onto something entirely flammable is not a good idea.
Yet they don't notice at first… Myrnin shows Casey just how to smoke the pipe whilst Shane glowers at the fact that he didn't get to use it first. He gets so moody that Casey decides to let Myrnin show him how to use it first, making the both of them inebriated before she even learns how to use it – so not fair!
What's that smell? Casey thinks as she realises that there is smoke coming from somewhere. Of course, when a still sober Casey actually notices the flames already engulfing the remnants of all the food, they don't care.
"Chill, Case, it's not like it's going to hurt us," Shane drawls as he takes another drag on the pipe, not caring about the fact that there is a potentially devastating fire as long as he gets his new addiction fix.
So Casey drags him away, to the furthest point away from the fire which is now sweeping through their car… but she can't do anything to save it because she is saving Shane and Myrnin, two people who are entirely high but they aren't acting high, simply as if they were any more chilled out, they'd be dead… even though Myrnin technically is dead. But that isn't the issue right now.
"Jesus Christ," Myrnin mutters fifteen minutes later, after Casey threw the pot pipe in the fire – neither of them noticed, but she needed them to get over the pot as soon as possible because hello they are now like trapped here as Myrnin's car caught fire as well! She couldn't do anything to stop it unless she wanted to, like, burn to death or something. And she could have the enjoyment of doing that in return for actually getting something, like staking a vampire to death. So why would she risk her life?
"Yeah, yeah, I know, the cars are burnt, it's getting dark, and we are trapped out here, I know, but it's all your fault!" she hisses, but he looks blank.
"I wasn't talking about that, though I see the issue there," he stands up and rushes towards the fire, sniffing the air. "The travesty is that every bit of pot I had left was in that pipe… and it's all gone in the fire!" he cries, falling to his knees as the depression overcomes him, his face like D:.
"You," Casey begins, entirely infuriated about the entire situation and the way he is concerned for stupid illegal drugs. "You seem more concerned about the drugs than the fact that I called Vicky to-" he cuts her off in shock, turning around to face her with shocked eyes.
"You didn't call her here, did you, when there are drugs around?" he asks horrified and Casey nods, a vindictive smile crossing her face. "Oh lord, I have to go!"
But before he can run anywhere, a yellow Porsche 911 Turbo GT or something like that turns around the corner and halts promptly, tires squealing in protest at the sudden stopping. The passenger window opens and reveals a woman with dark brown hair, her eyes covered by dark sunglasses, but even these don't hide her anger at the situation.
"High," she states simply, looking at both Myrnin and his bloodshot eyes and the staggering Shane who seems to be singing to himself as well as trying to snog his own hand.
"Uhuh, I'm not though," her friend offers the one sign that hope is not entirely lost, and Vicky smiles at Casey and her attempts to cheer her up after a hard day at work… then to be called up to pick up three people because two cars burnt down as well as a bunch of synthetic grass which shouldn't even have been there: god knows which idiot put it there…
"Get them in the car," she sighs, and Shane staggers into the backseat with Casey, wrapping his arms around her in a way that makes her know he is still entirely under the influence of the drugs. Myrnin, on the other hand, seems entirely stone cold sober, something which he doesn't seem to enjoy when his girlfriend gives him the biggest glare ever – and when Casey sees it, she thinks she may be about to drop down dead – and rejects his offer of a kiss.
"I cannot believe that you managed to set fire to about fifty metres squared of land, as well as burn two cars out to a crisp and get high – what is wrong with you?" Vicky, the surgeon, lays into Myrnin in a loud voice which is about as sharp as one of the scalpels she was using that day in theatre.
"I'm sowwy," Myrnin mumbles but she turns away, simply looking in the back mirror at Casey who shrugs and smiles. Vicky smiles back at the girl who is trying to stop Shane from kissing her, not wanting to when he is drunk on drugs, until she notices something in her mirror.
"Aw, shit, who is that?" she says as she notices a vampire car tailing them, increasing in speed as she does so.
"It's Oliver; you need to increase speed now and outrun him!" Myrnin urges her on, and after a little hesitation, Vicky complies. She puts her foot down and, once again, Casey has to hold onto the side – which the author has just decided has a handle – in order to stop herself falling through the window.
They drive faster and faster, screams coming from all of them, but the one from Myrnin is probably because he is simply psyching himself up for staking Ollypop with the hastily made stake constructed from Vicky's car – he has already promised to buy her a replacement.
"Stop… now!" Myrnin orders her sharply as she just manages to miss the haystack in the middle of the road that Shane just managed to miss earlier. "Why on earth is there a haystack in the road?" he contemplates before jumping out of the car and running towards Oliver and his scarily stupid car which is too vampirish.
Vicky and Casey jump out of the car as well, to watch as he drags a screaming and kicking Oliver from the car and stakes him in the chest.
"Why?" Oliver asks with his last breath, as Myrnin pushes the stake in even further to his chest, to speed up the death.
"Because you love Amelie, and she is happy with Sam: for you to be hanging around is just pointless because you are casting a shadow on their relationship," Myrnin explains, grinning as the last bit of life in Oliver ebbs away.
"He's crazy," Casey exclaims as she notices the frenzied look in Myrnin's eyes.
Vicky agrees.
Vicky takes Casey and Shane home, dropping them off at the door on her way to take Myrnin to explain to Amelie just why he killed Oliver.
"Come on, Shane," Casey whispers, dragging him up to their room where he promptly falls asleep. If this was a humorous fic, the author would decide here to have Casey paint Shane's face as a tiger or put girls clothes on him… but she isn't that mean…
…instead, she simply finds the hair dye that she has known about for a while (she knew Michael wasn't naturally that colour, even though he has moved out of his own house now… strange circumstances, best not to get into unless you want another six billion words, the author decides) and proceeds to style the wig that she finds in Shane's wardrobe, dying it bright peroxide blonde, before plonking it on his head to make him think that this is his new hairstyle, before applying clown make up and taking a photo.
From here, she promptly uploads onto Facebook before sending one to Vicky, Amelie and various other people in town who she knows will take the piss out of him…
…there isn't really anything else to say, so:
THE END!
Like/dislike? Not one of the best things I have ever written, but I think it was still ok!
Review, please!
Review also if you want one writing
Vicky xx