Author's note: I wrote most of this story immediately after 2x18 but I had trouble with the end until after the season finale. I hope you enjoy. Warning: suicide is implied. Thank you for your lovely reviews. I am new to writing and they have really spurred me on to continue. I have re-edited this story on the sound (and much appreciated) advise of Kinkywings to correct several mistakes. Hopefully I have found them all, though I tend to find more everytime I re-read any of my work. Thank you again.
It had been a long night Bella thought to herself looking at the large silver clock that hung above the nurses station. It was almost 12am which meant there was still hours to go on her shift and she could already imagine herself back at her apartment across town curled up in her cosy king size bed. The ER at New York city general was definitely getting busier she decided but at least they'd reached that time of the morning when the vast populace of the city would rather be at home in bed than sitting around in their waiting room. She scrubbed her face with her palms, finally thinking about pouring herself a mug of the mediocre coffee that was invariably stewing in the staff room.
A few minutes later Pamela a young blond nurse, and close work friend of hers, wondered over in her pink scrubs and white pumps, slouching lethargically against the curved desk. She sighed, leaning her elbows on the top, resting her chin in her hands. "Is it home time yet" she said yawning.
"Not even close Pam" Bella replied sweeping her arm around her friends shoulders. "How about some fabulous, mildly warm hospital coffee and a chocolate muffin she offered, remembering the pack she'd shoved hastily in her bag on her way out.
"Erh yes and yes" Pam approved her eyes lighting up. "Did I tell you I think you're amazing" she told Bella hugging her back as Jane, one of the ER clerks walked toward the desk.
"Better look lively ladies, trauma incoming in fifteen" she informed them sitting down behind the desk.
"But my muffin" Pam complained making a sad face and resting her head on Bella's shoulder in mock disappointment.
"I'll save you one" Bella told her patting her hair jovially. "Do we know what it" she asked Jane, already moving to start preparing ahead of time. She was the Attending doctor on tonight and as such would be running the show. It was a difficult job sometimes, but she loved it none the less.
"Traumatic blood loss" Jane told them. "Possibly self-inflicted".
...
The doors to the ambulance bay opened automatically as a male and a female paramedic emerged, quickly pushing their patient into the ER. "We're going into trauma two", Bella directed them. "Hi Jean" she said greeting the female paramedic, whom she'd been crossing paths with for years now, "what do we have?"
"Unknown male in his early twenties with deep lacerations to both forearms and substantial blood loss. He's showing signs of haemorrhagic shock. Pressure bandages were applied on the scene, but he's been unresponsive since our arrival. So far he's had 2litres of rapid infused Ringers solution on route and another's going in now. He's responding well, but BP's still low. Last count was 98/59 and his temp is a bit low at 36.4C. Respiration's shallow but his O2 SATS have increased to 92% on 15litres of oxygen. No other obvious signs of trauma and he's had no pain relief.
"Thanks she said to Jean". Herself and Jason, one of the ER Residents, who Bella thought looked way too young to be at the level he was, helped to push their patient into the resus room. He didn't look too good, pale and unmoving. The top of his black combats and the white sheet under him were soaked in blood. Despite this, she thought to herself, he was beautiful, almost ethereal. "Do we know if the injuries were definitely self inflicted" she asked the paramedics.
"It certainly looked that way" the male paramedic whom Bella hadn't seen before, replied without much conviction. "The beat cop certainly seemed to think so, but we didn't see anything there that he could have done it with, no sign of a blade or anything" he added.
"A waitress found him sat alone against a dumpster in the alley outside the back of a restaurant. Funny place to do something like this don't you think" Jean said, gesturing towards the patients wounds. "Something seems off about it to me, but what do I know".
Bella looked back at her patient as they arrived in resus. There was something slightly unusual about him that she couldn't identify. His jet black hair was illuminating and seemed to radiate a multitude of colours in the bright overhead lights like oil in sun. The paramedics had cut off his black shirt to apply the heart monitor leads and IV's, and he was lying on the tattered remains, leaving his upper body exposed. He was muscular but lean and his arms and torso were adorned with black symbolic looking tattoo's. She wasn't normally a fan of tattoo's but there was something appealing about his and she wondered what they meant.
"Doctor William's are you ready to transfer him" Jason asked her, startling her from her reverie. They were all stood waiting. "Yes sorry, I'll support his head, let's go on slide" she said pulling herself into action. They rolled him onto his side checking his back for further injuries. There was nothing obvious apart from a couple of small, new looking bruises to his upper back which didn't concern her, though she would have liked to know how he'd got them. "Ok let's get him on his back again" she told the others.
Jason can we start him on 2 units of o-neg stat please and can you try and get another line in the other arm in for me too. "Julie" she asked one of the nurses, "I need a full set of bloods asap, including type and cross-match please". The on-call anaesthetist, Sid was listening to his chest looking pensive, concentrating. "Do you think we need to tube him" She inquired.
"Well, I think we can hang fire for now" he said. "His obs are not bad considering the amount of blood he looks to have lost, so lets monitor him for now and see how he responds to the transfusion".
As the others were running around about her Bella lifted his eyelids, checking his pupil response with her pen light. His irises were a stunning bright blue, mesmerising to look at, and happily reacting normally she also noted resuming her examination.
"Pam", she asked her friend, "can you page the vascular team, I'm worried about the blood flow to his hands. How pink do they look?"
Pam picked up his right hand turning it. "There's too much blood to tell. Let me get some of it off". She used an alcohol wipe to clean off some of the drying blood and began squeezing his fingers. "They look pretty good" she told Bella and she was similarly happy with the other hand.
"That's good news" she said relieved.
After only a short time she was feeling much more comfortable with her patient's condition. They'd given him dopamine to pick up his blood pressure and he was rapidly improving with the blood transfusions. Surprisingly so. "Looks like you got off lucky" she said to the still unconscious young man. "You gonna wake up for me" she asked him, rubbing his chest looking for a response. She was surprised when she got one.
...
50 minutes earlier
Alec's heart raced with the thrill of Adrenaline as he fought side by side with his brother. They moved in complete sync, tethered by their parabatai bond, much better together than they were individually. It was the first time Alec had felt happy since splitting with Magnus, the first time his every waking thought didn't somehow tuned out what he was supposed to be concentrating on, always coming back to the high warlock of Brooklyn, who was no longer his boyfriend. He'd felt like his heart had been ripped from his chest when Magnus had left, leaving a gaping hole that could never be filled. He'd carried on working hard for the institute, putting on a brave face. He'd had no choice. But here fighting with Jace, hearts beating in time, he felt a short reprieve from the constant numbing sorrow of his broken heart, giving him hope that maybe he could overcome it after all.
Alec hadn't been on patrol with Jace since becoming the head of the New York institute. He hadn't had chance, but he'd needed this and he knew Jace did too. They had seemed to gravitate to each other recently. Jace had been keeping him close over the last couple of weeks, not letting him wallow, but he hadn't cared. It hurt more when he was alone with his thoughts and he knew Jace could sense the true depth of his pain. They were both hurting. Both in love with someone they didn't have, and it was comforting to be around a soul who understood completely how you were feeling without having to constantly voice it. Not that Izzy hadn't been amazing, but with everything that had happened since Clary's arrival, he'd missed their time together, just the two them like it often was before.
He fired an arrow over Jace's shoulder as Jace swung his seraph blade at a target behind him in complete trust that Alec had his back. His arrow sank deep and true into the insipid grey flesh of the chasm demon,. Black ichor pulsed out from around it as the demon dropped writhing in the throes of death. He breathed heavily from the exertion of the unexpected skirmish and turned to see Jace looking equally exhausted staring down on the remains of the last of the seven demons they had just killed.
Jace pushed his sweaty blond hair back off his face with a leather clad hand and looked up to meet Alec's eyes. They both relaxed as the filthy alley sank back into relative silence, save for the ever present night-time hum of New York and the occasional distant siren. "Not bad for an office worker" Jace said teasing him with a hint of a smile as he walked over, still vigilantly scanning the alley for any renewed threat.
He rolled his eyes at Jace taking it for the banter it was without losing focus, "Strange for so many to gather like this" Alec thought out loud looking about the vile scattered remains of the fight. "I don't like it!".
"You don't like anything" Jace retorted, lightly slapping Alec on the upper arm while giving him a teasing smile, however his expression quickly turned serious again. "I know what you mean though" he said frowning. "What do you think they were doing here?".
"I don't k...", Alec was cut off mid-reply as a clatter further up the alley made him jump and they both turned quickly readying their weapons again. Jace communicated a plan of approached in silent hand gestures and they began to creep slowly toward the source. They rounded the side of a large bin out the back of an Indian restaurant and the smell of rotten garbage assaulted their noses as they closed in. On the count of 3, Jace signalled and they moved to attack.
Terrified at their arrival, a dirty ginger cat darted from the remains of a half rotten chicken bone and they pulled back quickly reigning themselves in with a sigh of relief. It was short-lived however as a stray chasm demon seemed to appear from nowhere and rushed them both at once flinging Alec's bow from his grasp before he could move to fire it. It skidded across the ground, the arrow falling away, and came to a halt on the opposite side of the alley. As Jace moved to defend them they were all suddenly thrown apart by the rushing swirl of a mini tornado as it appeared in the middle of the alley way, sweeping dust and bits of old newspapers up into the air in its wake.
Alec looked on horrified, regaining his feet and watching what he quickly realised was a greater demon emerging from maelstrom. He stumbled back yearning for his bow as the chasm demon charged him once again. He readied himself for the hit knowing there was no way his could reach his weapon in time, when Jace shouted his name over the racket.
"Alec".
He turned to see a seraph blade flung at him by his parabatai and reached out to catch it with lighting reflex. He swung it around in a wide arc, continuing the momentum of Jace's throw. His aim at the demon was true but the sudden sweep of a razor sharp, bone edged tentacle lashed out from within the whirlwind glancing across Alec's forearms and forcing the blade from his grasp. It sent him crashing back into the large silver bin behind him knocking the air from his lungs, winding him. Fortunately the tentacle continued on its haphazard path slashing full force across the body of the chasm demon mortality wounding the creature. Alec watched on momentarily dazed, sucking air into his deprived lungs as it writhed on the ground in front of him. There was no gratitude in the demon world he thought, having no sympathy for the soon to be dead creature at the hands of its apparent master.
His attention jumped back to Jace as he saw him dive for the fallen seraph blade. He rolled gracefully across the ground, rising back up instantly to slice the blade across the form of the greater demon before it could fully emerge. The severed end of the demons bony tentacle dropped to the ground with a slap, flopping about still alive for a few seconds, spurting out ichor like a hosepipe. The demon roared in pain and anger as Jace was flung away from him at vast speed by an unseen force in retribution of his attack. He crashed heavily against the red brick wall opposite with a sickening thud. He could barely see Jace through the dusty swirling mass of the demons portal, but the stark red of his blood stood out vividly as it spilled down the side of his head where it had made contact with the wall.
"Jace" he shouted panicking reaching for the knife strapped to his ankle. His vision blurred massively and he suddenly felt detached from the scene around him. Looking down he was surprised to find his hands were slick with blood as they slipped on the handle of his knife as he tried to grasp it. The sight shocked him. He'd hadn't even realised he was bleeding. His hands felt useless. "Jace" he shouted again finally pulling the knife loose in a tenuous grip. As he looked up ready to drag himself to Jace's aid somehow, a red headed arrow, one he'd recognise anywhere as his own, flew straight toward the greater demon eliciting an ear piercing shriek as it struck its target square on. All at once the whirlwind shrank in on itself and vanished as if sucked up by a mini black hole and he knew - Jace had found his bow.
He fell back in relief dropping the knife, feeling his quill digging into his back. Pushing it off his shoulder clumsily with hands that refused to work properly, he somehow righted himself to sit back up against the bin. Black dots danced across his vision as the injuries to his arms made themselves known in a gut wrenching thrum of pain and his gasped from the shock of it. Gruesome long deep cuts gaped open across each forearm leaking blood freely that soaked into his black combats where he let his hands rests on his legs. His stele he thought. Where was it? He suddenly seemed to be having trouble forming coherent thoughts and losing focus. His mind drifted away from the hear and now as flashes of Magnus filled his vision in an unconscious effort to comfort himself. He missed him so much. Why wasn't he here. He needed him. He felt drained of energy and let his eyes slip closed as an eerie feeling of calm enclosed him, blackness descending.
...
Consciousness came back to Alec abruptly. Adrenaline coursed through his veins as his brain tried to slam back into action thinking he was still mid-combat. He pitched forward trying to right himself, instinctively searching for his fallen seraph blade. It was a move he instantly regretted as white hot pain surged up his arms taking his breath away. He let himself drop back down, screwing his eyes shut tight against the brightness of his surroundings, breathing raggedly through the pain. He could hear someone groaning and as the fog lifted he realised it was himself. He shut the noise down immediately, scrambling to organise his thoughts. Everything was so bleary. But the one thing he had figured out - he wasn't in the alley anymore and the fight was clearly over.
He was lying on something soft, the putrid stench of the restaurant bins a distant memory now. There was a flurry of voices and movement, and hands all around him. Hands that were pushing lightly on his chest and his shoulder, that were gripping his arms. Hands that felt like they were restraining him, holding him down. He fought against the urge to wrestle free, not wanting to set off the agonizing pain again now that it had dulled to a manageable level. He lay still, dragging his eyes open fully to look at the white ceiling above him. He was faced with the unpleasant glare of fluorescent lights and was forced to turn away, squinting from the harsh brightness. There seemed to be people everywhere invading his personal space or bustling about the room that was all white glass fronted cupboards and medical equipment. He knew instantly from the way the people were dressed that they were all mundanes.
"Shhh. Lie still, try not to move". A pretty young female was speaking to him, grasping the top his hand with her own gloved one. It should have been comforting, and it would have been if it were Magnus or Jace or Izzy, but these people were all strangers to him. There was nothing familiar about the scene and he couldn't quell the rising panic in his chest.
Was he in a mundane infirmary? He thought. No that didn't make any sense, they shouldn't be able to see him? He'd activated his glamour rune before he'd left the institute.
"Where am I" he asked to no-one in particular, needing to know, to gain some control back over the situation. His tongue felt thick and he couldn't articulate the words properly making his voice sound slurred. God he hoped they didn't think he was drunk.
The face of a blond woman in green scrubs hovered above him at the top of the gurney he was on, her voice breaking through the hive of activity around him. "It's ok, you're in the hospital" she said smiling at him kindly. "Just try to relax for me ok, we're going to look after you. I'm doctor William's. Can you tell me your name?"
Ignoring the question now that she had confirmed his fears, he mentally began to assess his injuries. His arms were throbbing dully and he lifted his head to inspect them, his vision blurry. They were heavily bandaged from elbow to wrist and his hands were dark red with dried blood that had dripped down from the wounds beneath. The image triggered the memory of the tentacle slicing across his forearms but it got fuzzy after that.
He was hooked up to a drip at the crook of each elbow. Resting his head back on the gurney he traced the tubing of one of them back up to a red bag of mundane blood that was swinging from a tall drip stand by his side. That didn't bode well he thought letting his eyes slide shut. By the angel he was so tired. His limbs felt like they were made of lead as he gingerly brought his free hand up to pull at the irritating tubing he could feel around his face and nose.
"No, hey leave that there" the doctor scalded pleasantly, gently guiding his hand away. "You need to keep that on, it's just oxygen ok. Can you open your eyes for me?". Her tone was firm, no nonsense yet still concerned and he pushed them open, bleary-eyed, instinctively reacting to the authority in her voice. She had sounded so much like his mother for a moment. "That's good" she praised, shining a too bright pen light across his eyes making him blink repeatedly as he struggled to keep them open. "Try to stay awake for me ok, you've lost a lot of blood".
The wounds had been deep he remembered vaguely. He hadn't been able to keep hold of the seraph blade when it happened. But it was ok, he was sure Jace had killed the demon.
Jace! Oh no where was Jace? His memories tumbled over each other as he tried make sense of what had happened. Why would Jace have brought him here and not back to the institute? Then it dawned on him like a kick to the gut. He wouldn't have brought him here. Jace had been bleeding too he remembered, but he couldn't picture it clearly. Oh god, something bad must have happened to him. Was he here too somewhere? He felt sick and couldn't control the overwhelming feeling of panic that was now taking over. His heart rate sped up hammering in his chest, setting off an alarm on one of the monitors to his right. He had to go, right now. He had to find Jace.
"Where's Jace" he slurred struggling to pull himself up onto his elbows. He mouth didn't want to cooperate and he found it hard to form the words. "Where's my brother? I need to find him!"
"Hey, no. You need to lie back" a male mundane told him pushing him back down before he could get anywhere. He was tall and wiry and Alec was shocked at the strength of his grip. Or more likely the weakness of his own.
"I need to go" he told him, increasing his effort to get up. "I have to find my brother. I don't know what happened to him". He felt so disoriented and the world seemed to tip on its axes with the sudden movement.
"The paramedics said you were on your own. There was no-one else with you". He answered "I'm sure he's fine, just try to relax".
The mundanes didn't understand. Jace wouldn't leave him. Dread ripped through him. He was so confused. Nothing was making any sense anymore except that he knew Jace was alive. He'd have felt it otherwise. He just needed to get out of here, but they weren't letting him move. He tried to pull his arms free from the mundanes grasp, grimacing from the pain it caused. There seemed to be even more of them now.
"Calm down" several of the mundanes told him simultaneously.
"Sir you need to calm down for me ok" the doctor insisted looking at the bleeping monitor worriedly. "You're going to hurt yourself".
"He's tachy" she said to the others still studying his vitals on the monitor, "Julie can you get me 0.5mg's of Midazolam please".
He fought hard against them trying to ignore the pain exploding from his arms as he worked uselessly to push their hands off him. He felt as weak as a kitten. "Please. You don't understand" he begged, as the room spun around him making him feel nauseous. "Just let me go".
"It's alright, were just going to give you something to calm you down" the doctor said resting her hand on the side of his head.
"No, please don't". He felt so vulnerable. He was powerless and exhausted and he hated it.
It seemed like only seconds had passed but the nurse had returned already holding up a syringe, tapping out the air bubbles from the white cloudy liquid inside. He knew he couldn't let them give it to him and he continued to struggle desperately. The man was now holding his arm in a vice like grip and he watched helplessly as the nurse inserted the syringe into the port at his right elbow pushing the liquid into his vein.
"No" he repeated his voice breaking in panic. The drug was cold going in and he could feel the strange sensation of it tracking up his arm. Finally he let himself rest back, breathing heavily in defeat,the sting of tears prickling his eyes. He'd let Jace down, like he'd let Magnus down. He didn't know what he'd do if he lost them both. He didn't think he could survive that.
"Just relax" the doctor told him stroking his hair gently. "Try not to fight it. It's alright, you're ok"
He suddenly felt drunk, like he had the first time he'd stayed over at Magnus'. The warlock had plied him with cocktail after cocktail each more colourful than the last, clearly not wanting Alec to leave. Truthfully Alec hadn't wanted to. He'd enjoyed the way it felt to be in Magnus' company, inhibitions loosened by the alcohol. But now the sensation was unpleasant, bringing with it a loss of control. He met the doctors eyes as he felt himself slipping. They were kind and grey-blue, shining with concern. She really thought she was helping him. His eyes grew heavy and he let them close without realising it as his body relaxed unable to fight the pull of the drug anymore as it sent him into unconsciousness.
...
Alec drifted, staring unfocused. He felt like he was cloaked in a thin veil, reality just out of reach. He'd woken a while ago, alone in a different room, in a bed with perfectly crisp white sheets. A monitor sang out the steady rhythm of his heart, connected to him by the multitude of wires snaking from the top of the gown he'd been dressed in while he was asleep. He absently wondered what they'd done with his clothes. The cannula's were still present in both arms, one steadily dripping something into his bloodstream from a clear bag of solution.
He'd tried to leave, pulling himself out of the bed the moment he was able to make a coherent thought. However he'd only ended up face down on the pale blue linoleum floor, unable to pick himself up. Blood had leaked slowly from his arm where the cannula had been ripped out, it's end swinging gently next to his face like a grotesque pendulum. The monitors had screeched loudly alerting the staff to his escape attempt and soon he'd been greeted with the sight of hurried feet rushing toward him.
He'd been combative. At least that's what he'd overheard the mundanes saying. He hadn't meant to be, he was just trying to get home, to find his brother and they wouldn't let him. The urgency to leave had gone now pushed behind the numbing effect of another sedative they'd given him for his own good, to keep him compliant. They'd figured out something was different about him but they had no idea what. They'd been talking about his blood sample and they'd sounded concerned.
Maybe that was why they had felt inclined to fit the soft restraints that now circled his wrists securing him to the bed, limiting his movement. Or may it was because even after they'd lifted him off the floor he'd continued to struggle despite them having sedated him once again. They hadn't wanted to top that second dose up given his recent blood loss but it hadn't had the desired effect. Eventually they'd had no choice, as strapping him down had only forced him to increase his efforts. He'd felt trapped like a caged animal pulling desperately at the soft material, ignoring the throb it set off in his arms. He felt calm now though.
It wasn't the same drug they'd given him in the ER. It hadn't made him sleep, not really. It just seemed to deaden the world around him like a wakeful dream and steal his strength so completely.
The bandages on his forearms were gone replaced by simple dressings and the pattern of his injuries were now evident from the stains of blood that had seeped through. They'd been stitched while he was asleep requiring delicate work to repair the severed blood vessels and tissues he'd been told. He'd hadn't cared. Magnus could have fixed it easily enough.
The tip of his glamour rune was visible from under the dressing on his left wrist, and he realised it must have been severed in two by the ragged slice that stretched the whole way across from left to right. It would have been why the mundanes could see him. He Absently wondered if the two disconnected sides of the rune still matched up now the wound had been closed.
The doctors had been amazed he could move his hands as much as he could considering the severity of the cuts, but he was Nephilim. It wasn't unusual to him. It didn't matter at the minute anyway, he couldn't do anything. He felt sluggish from the drugs, his limbs were too heavy to move.
A young women with red hair scraped back into a messy bun had come in not long ago and had pulled up a chair close to his bedside. Her hair was almost as fiery as Clary's, though he doubted she could match Clary's equally fiery personality. She didn't look like a medic, wearing blue jeans and a light orange sweater that Magnus would have said clashed with her hair. She'd introduced herself as Olivia and had sat studying him for a few minutes, a clip board and pen resting on her lap. Alec stared back. Normally he would have felt embarrassed being under the microscope like this but he couldn't bring himself to care at the moment.
"Unusual tattoos!" she said finally.
He let his gaze wonder and surprised himself when he answered "they're not tattoos". He hadn't meant to say it out loud. His words sounded sluggish just like his mind felt. He didn't sound like himself. She looked confused waiting for him to expand but when he didn't she continued changing the subject.
"Can you tell me your name?"
He didn't want to answer that question either and instead stared at the stained dressing on his right wrist, distantly wondering where his stele was. He really needed to activate his Iratze to start the healing process. He could feel her eyes following his gaze and looked back to meet them.
"How did you get those cuts?" she asked. "Did someone hurt you?" after a pause she added passively not breaking eye contact "Did you hurt yourself?"
He stared back his mind turning over her words processing her implication. They thought he tried to kill himself. "You think I cut myself" he replied barely audible, he voice a whisper. He sighed tiredly. Despite how depressed he'd felt recently he wouldn't do that to his family. He'd promised Magnus too, though that no longer mattered he supposed. "I didn't do it mundane. The demon..." He broke off realising what he was saying.
A demon made you hurt yourself" she questioned with a confused expression.
Mundanes he thought. They had no idea. He wished she'd leave him alone. He was too tired for this.
She sighed at his lack of response, leaning forward resting her chin on her hands. "You can talk to me. I'd like to help you". "Do you have someone you'd like me to call, someone who'll be worrying? Maybe Jace. He's your brother isn't he?"
That caught his attention, he was supposed to be worrying about Jace he remembered. "I don't know where he is" he told her. "Maybe we left him there".
"There was no-one else with you".
No he thought, that wasn't right, Jace was there, he wasn't alone. Except he was alone. He'd felt so alone without Magnus. He loved Jace with all his soul, but it wasn't enough anymore. "I miss him" he whispered turning away.
"Who do you miss?" She's asked. Did you lose someone close to you? Was it Jace?".
She paused again. He knew she was waiting for him to talk, but she couldn't help him. He wasn't a mundane. "Please let me help you. If you're been feeling unhappy, talking can really help".
He should have felt aggrieved but he couldn't muster up the energy. He zoned her words out just wanting her to stop talking. He really was tired and it was so hard to keep his eyes open so he stopped fighting it.
...
Alec opened his eyes realising he'd drifted off. The mundane was no longer there. He scanned the room, noticing from the time on the plastic clock hung opposite that he'd lost around 25 minutes. The need to sleep was starting to pull him under again, but just before he let it he was roused by female voices at the door. After a minute the mundane women walked back into the room accompanied by another women who looked vaguely familiar.
"Did you manage to contact his family? He was too unwell to give us any details in the ER" the other women asked pleasantly. "He's stuck with me all shift for some reason and I just needed to check he was doing ok before I went home".
Alec's mind wasn't working as quick as it usually did, but after a moment he realised she was the doctor he'd seen when he'd first woken up. She looked different, wearing jeans and a white blouse and was about his mother's age. As she approached she turned from the other mundane to look at him stopping in her tracks. She looked surprised, frowning. "What happened?" She asked continuing towards Alec seeming concerned.
"He was extremely agitated and combative I believe and the ward staff had a huge struggle getting him to calm down. They unfortunately decided this was the safest option for everyone given the circumstances of his admittance and lack of history. I've not been able to get much out of him either".
His mind was too numb to comprehend everything the mundane was saying and he didn't completely understand what they were talking about until she rested her hand on the light pink cuff of the restraint. Unexpectedly she took his fingers gently in hers as she continued to talk. "Seems a bit extreme" she said turning back to the other woman without letting go. She sounded like his mother too, all business.
It surprised him and he instinctively closed his hand on her fingers at the comforting gesture, raising his eyes to meet her returning gaze as she assessed him. "Hey, how you feeling now?" She asked him. "You're looking much better. Not much more awake though I see" she added without waiting him to answer.
She wasn't wrong, he certainly didn't feel very awake. He liked her, she seemed to genuinely care. She pulled her hands away to reach into the large leather bag on her shoulder. He looked down at his own hand processing that somewhere in the back of his mind he missed the contact. She took out what he soon realised was a pen light as she turned her attention back to him to rest her hand on his forehead shining the light across his eyes. "I'm Doctor William's she told him as she worked, Do you remember me from the ER?"
He blinked, his gaze tracking to the ID badge clipped to her blouse - Dr Isabelle Williams. "Isabelle" he said quietly to himself. "She'll be worried".
"Who'll be worried?" she as him curiously.
"Izzy!" he repeated still staring lethargically at her badge.
She looked down at her ID and back up. "Is she your partner".
He closed his eyes letting the ghost of a smile touch his face. "She's my sister" he told her. "She'll come for me soon" he added knowing it was true, his words slurring from the drugs. He felt like he was floating halfway between sleep again.
"What's he been given" he heard her say to the other woman, "he seems pretty out of It? And does he really still need these?" Their voices sounded distant to him. He was losing focus again but was too tired to care.
"Thorazine l understand".
He didn't know what that was but he didn't like it he thought succumbing to sleep again.
...
Jace could hear someone calling his name, drawing him away from his peaceful slumber. The voice was familiar, comforting. It grew louder, more insistent bringing him closer to the surface and he became aware of a dull throb emerging from inside his head. Unconsciously he let out a pained groan. He felt someone cup his face, lifting his head from his chest, but he wasn't quite ready to open his eyes and face the world yet. He raised his hand to rub his aching head. Alec's bow slipped from his tenuous grip and he was oblivious as it fell down to rock back and forth across his lap.
"Jace, hey come on open your eyes for me?"
The voice sounded worried, finally jolting him to consciousness and he forced his eyes open to look into a face as familiar as his own.
"Izzy? What are you doing here?" He was confused.
"Jace what happened, where's Alec? Why do you have his bow?"
She sounded anxious. He looked down at Alec's bow staring at it momently before the pieces started to fit back together. "The demon" he whispered. "Alec" he slurred desperately, beginning to stand remembering how his brother had looked before he passed out. He tried to see passed Isabelle gripping on to her tightly to help pull himself up. I wave of complete dizziness struck him as he tried to focus on the spot he'd last seen Alec after the demon had knocked him down. He clung to Isabelle trembling waiting for his vision to clear. A small rune covered knife that he knew belonged to Alec lay abandoned close to the dumpster and the floor was stained with the dark red stickiness of blood. But there was no sign of his brother.
Panicking now "Where is he?" He asked, his world spinning out of control.
"Jace sit down", Isabelle shouted. "You're gonna fall. Jace. He's not here!"
He didn't understand. "What happened?" he asked her.
"I was hoping you could tell me". She guided him back down to lean against the wall. It wasn't so dark in the alley now. The sun was rising gradually turning the remains of the chasm demons to light grey ash as it grew in strength. How long had he been out. "What time is it?" he ask Izzy.
"It's gone 7am. I was up early and realised you both weren't home yet. I tracked you here. Magnus has gone after Alec. He insisted. Jace he's nowhere near here. You must have been unconscious for hours, we need to get you to the infirmary". She turned his head inspecting the cut. "Your heads bleeding really bad and you're freezing. What happened here" she asked taking out her stele as she surveyed the decaying demons around them.
"There was a greater demon". He felt shocked. How could Alec be across town. "I killed it, but he was hurt Iz".
"A greater demon, by the angel" Isabelle exclaimed her face a picture of concern.
Then he realised what she'd said. "Magnus" he said questioningly. "But they broke up".
...
Alec was dreaming of Magnus again as he often did. He could hear Magnus talking to him, only his voice was muffled like they were separated by a think pane of glass. He couldn't understand what he was saying but thrum of his voice sent a warm feeling through his entire body. He dragged his eyes open trying to focus on the blurred face hovering over him. His vision swam gradually settling on shimmering green eyes and black glittery spikes of hair and his breath hitched at the sight. "You're here" he slurred longing to reach out and touch the soft skin of Magnus' cheek. He could bury himself in Magnus' arms and never surface again. The dream seemed so real. But Magnus wouldn't be here, not now.
"I wish you were real" he whispered "I've missed you so much". Maybe he was hallucinating from all the drugs the mundanes had given him. That seemed more likely. They really would think he was crazy if they caught him talking to himself.
He hadn't realised he'd closed his eyes until he felt soft, smooth fingers at his cheek "wake up Alexander, I'm real, I can assure you". Magnus' magnetic voice pulled him awake. He struggled to accept what he was seeing. Was it true. Was Magnus actually here. It let it slowly sink in. He was real and he'd come for him. His heart fluttered in his chest and he thought he could cry with the relief, the emotion only tempered by the suppressing effect of the drugs. Then suddenly within the blink of an eye the face was gone from his view and the panic that replaced it pushed through his veil of calm like a steamroller.
"Magnus" it came out as a desperate sob, his heart breaking all over again.
And then just as suddenly it was back a hand coming to stroke his face. "Shhh my darling I'm still here".
He swallowed down another sob. "Please don't leave me here" he hated the way he sounded so pathetic his words stumbling over each other. "I can't move Magnus, they gave me something " He said tugging weakly on the restraints.
Magnus' eyes were swimming with emotion too as he soothed "I know sweetheart, it's ok.
He felt a tingling around his wrists as the soft material fell away and Magnus picked up his hand in both of his and frowned. He looked pensive as he studied the blood streaked path of the wound on the dressing. He seemed upset. Did Magnus think he'd done this to himself too?
"It was a greater demon" he whispered defensively.
Magnus startled "what, oh, yes of course" and appeared to compose himself. "Let's get you out of here Alexander, I'm sure you've had enough of these people for one day" he said rolling his make-up covered eyes and waving his magic at the monitor to switch it off. Alec just stared still not quite believing Magnus was here as he disconnected him from all the medical paraphernalia. Once free of it Magnus flung off the sheet and heaved him up to sit on the edge of the bed. The room spun dangerously and he felt like he was falling and he grasped handfuls of Magnus' shimmering purple shirt to stop himself. But Magnus kept a hand at his back bringing the other up to the back of his head, grounding him, "easy my love".
"I feel dizzy Magnus."
"I know, just give it minute" Magnus soothed, you've had quite the night by the looks of it.
He let his himself fall forward to rest his head on Magnus' chest breathing in the familiar scent. Magnus stiffened for a moment sending an icy tendril of rejection through his heart, but after a long pause he gave in slowly circling his arms around Alec, holding him tight. Alec wanted to stay like this forever, Magnus never letting him go. But all too soon he pushed Alec away from him leaving his head spinning again.
"Do you think you can stand my love" he asked him.
He was talking to him like he always had as if nothing had happened, he recent terseness gone. It made Alec's heart ache. He didn't want false hope and he almost wished Magnus wouldn't tease him with it. But he needed it right now. He longed for it. He looked up into Magnus' eyes finding it difficult to hold his head up but desperately needing to see his face.
"Magnus, I wanna go home. I need to find Jace, he's hurt."
"Shhh mon petite shadowhunter. He's fine. He was hurt but he's ok now. Isabelle has him. He's worried about you too. You ready to stand". He was still letting the relief sink in and didn't have chance to prepare to get up. Not that it would have made a difference but he didn't like it. As Magnus pulled him up he slumped against him burying his head into his shoulder, his body practically limp, useless to help. He felt like a burden on him. "Magnus, I can't stand."
"I know Alexander"
He clawed his head up gripping the top of Magnus' shirt to meet his eyes whispering "please don't leave me". Magnus' eyes looked troubled and he almost looked like he could cry. It made Alec just want to kiss him, to kiss it better. But that wasn't ok anymore. He let he head drop back to Magnus' shoulder and felt him tighten his grip around him as he whispered back.
"It's ok my love. I've got you. Your safe now".
But as the words slipped out the creak of the door signalled someone's entrance. They didn't say anything and Alec turned his head still resting on Magnus to see. Magnus brought his hand protectively to Alec's head pulling him into him. His strength was surprising. He didn't seemed to be struggling at all to hold Alec up. He could see that it was the female doctor. She was just staring at them, unmoving, shocked at what she'd walked in on but clearly processing. Then he noticed what she was holding. His stele.
He felt Magnus startle when she spoke, her voice quiet and even. "It's not safe for him too leave. He's lost alot of blood." She was talking to Magnus yet her eyes never left Alec's face.
"Don't worry, I'm going make sure he's back to full health soon enough. He'll be ok with me." Magnus assured her in his delicate tone.
It all seemed unreal to Alec, but he knew that when she raised the alarm Magnus would find it a struggle with his arms so full. He had no doubt of their escape however. He was with the high warlock of Brooklyn after all. Still he felt like a burden.
She continued to stare for a moment then began to close the short distance between them. He felt Magnus tense ready to act, but then she reached her hand out offering Alec's stele. "This was all you had on you when they brought you in." she said.
He stared at it a moment not knowing how to react but then took it from her in an uneasy grip. Thank you "Isabelle" he said feeling grateful. He felt like he was going to pass out stood like this. If you could call it standing. The situation was surreal. She suddenly squeezed Alec's shoulder smiling affectionately, making Magnus start again, then looked Magnus straight in the eye.
"Look after him" she said and to Alec's surprise she turned and left. Magnus let out a sigh as the door closed. "Looks like you made an impression Alexander. Come, lets make good our escape while we can". He jostled them around somehow holding Alec against him with one arm and used his free hand to create a beautiful swirling orange portal in front of them.
...
Alec was completely surprised when they emerged from the portal not inside the institute but into Magnus' bedroom. Their bedroom. But that was before Alec had kept the whereabouts of the mortal sword from him. However before he could begin to wallow Magnus eased him down to sit on the gold silk sheets of the bed, clearly finding it hard work to carry him now. As soon as he was down though Alec threatened to collapse back the moment Magnus let go of him, and Magnus quickly realised that he wasn't going to be holding himself up any time soon. He sat down next to him, weaving his arm around his waist and Alec slumped boneless against him, completely incapable. He didnt mind. He'd had a terrible night and he just wanted Magnus to hold him.
Magnus began removing the white and blue hospital gown he was still wearing pulling it off his arms with his free hand. "As gorgeous as you look in these mundane robes Alexander, I don't think it's really you" he said fondly. Magnus had seen him naked many times but despite this he felt slightly exposed in just his boxers now they were no longer together. All that slipped away though as Magnus lifted his chin to look into his eyes.
"Much better don't you think" he said and Alec could see the love there. Love for him.
Magn..." he started but was cut off by Magnus' fingers on his lips.
"Shhh, it ok, you don't have to say anything. Just relax. Lie back" he said starting to lower him down. He didn't want to move but he had no control over the situation and sank into the comfortable mattress of Magnus' bed which felt like his own. Magnus swiftly brought his legs up so that he was lying flat out on his back . It felt so familiar, so normal. He didn't think he'd ever have this again and the thought that it would end once he had recovered was unbearable. He couldn't stop the tears that began to well up in his eyes. He was sick of feeling so lost.
"I'm sorry Magnus. Please don't leave me". A tear escaped slipping down the side of his face and Magnus brushed it away tenderly with his thumb. He could see that Magnus' eyes were glistening too now in low light.
"It's ok my love, don't apologise. We've both made mistakes. The truth is you're all I can think about and when Isabelle rang looking for you. Well, I knew I couldn't wait for somebody else to find you. I just needed to know that you were ok. It was scary finding you like this." He said indicating the injuries to his wrists. "For a moment i thought that maybe... well that maybe it was my fault. You could have died if someone hadn't found you as soon as they did."
Magnus' words sunk in and his heart thudded from the anguish he could see in his eyes, and with hope too. "Magnus I wouldn't" he started but was interrupted.
"I know. I know". After a long pause Magnus wiped his eyes. "Lets fix these shall we" he said smiling softly and Alec could feel the warmth spread up his arms as the wounds healed. The constant ache that he was almost growing used to disappeared and Magnus gently pulled the dressings off to reveal only faint silver lines now where the gouges had been. "These should be gone by tomorrow" he told him.
"I love you" he whispered to Magnus exhausted, struggling to keep his eyes open despite the importance of their conversation.
Magnus stroked his fingers though his hair. The sensation was relaxing and he unconsciously closed his eyes. "I love you too Alexander" he whispered. "Now sleep. You'll feel better afterwards and I promise I'll be here when you wake up". Magnus' soft lips on his were the last thing he registered as he drifted off into peaceful slumber.