I've been wanting to make this a story ever since I first read the book this past summer. This first chapter is almost identical to the books because I'm just getting started. I hope you guys enjoy it as much as I did. Feedback is always welcome.
Disclaimer: I own no one ..especially not the Johanna Edwards' book 'Your Big Break'..or the Mediator series
Chapter 1
YBB Inc. Employee Rule #1
Always meet in a public place.
Coffee shops are ideal.
Never go anywhere that serves alcohol.
I, Susannah Simon, am a liar. I mean, my job forces me to be one.
Every day I tell people what they want to hear.
''Off course he still finds you sexually attractive!'' He just finds you sexually attractive in that ''we're better off as friends'' way.
''No, he doesn't hate you.'' He just never wants to see you again as long as he lives.
''Your greasy hair and and beer belly have nothing to do with why she left you''
You get the picture.
I even lie to my family now. My parents have NO idea what I do for a living. They think that I write promotional copy for websites or something.
It's not like I'm embarrassed or anything. It's just my parents are sort of old fashioned. By parents I mean mother and stepfather. My father passed away when I was a child.
But, if my mother knew that I made my living busting up relationships, she'd be crushed. So, I made up the whole Web thing to buy time.
But the trouble with lying is you can't tell just one fib and be done. You have to make up more lies to cover your original lie.
I took this job because I wanted to help people. Yes, you read that right. Breakups are horrific and devastating but Your Big Break Inc. makes them civilized. I do whatever I can to help people get used to being single again.
That still doesn't change the fact that I'm a liar.
''Are you Bryce Martinson'' I asked entering Carmel's Starbucks and locating the miserable man nursing his coffee.
''Sooze?'' He says eyeing me up and down.
''Suze'' I extend my hand ''It's short for Susannah.''
Bryce is a clean-cut guy with light brown hair and eyes. In my office, My notes told me he was thirty-one, but I find that hard to believe. He looks much younger.
''I never thought Debbie would leave me for a girl,'' he says amazed.
I just smile as I slide into my seat across from him.
''She's not leaving you for anyone, Bryce. It's not about that'' I pause. ''Debbie's at a crossroads in her life'' I begin.
Bryce just groans. ''Give me a fucking break. Did Debbie tell you to say that?'' He shakes his head. ''Forget it. I've been putting up with her BS for months now.''
He takes a sip of his coffee and goes on. ''She used to be fun. Now she's gone all Gwyneth on me.''
''Gwyneth?'' I ask not quite following.
''Paltrow. Debbie's obsessed with wheatgrass and yoga and not eating meat. She wants to find herself'' He rolls his eyes. ''She wants to be 'one with the universe' ''
I don't have the heart to tell him that Debbie really wants to be at one with is her new acupuncturist, Nate.
''Bryce doesn't do it for me anymore'' Debbie had confessed to me in our consultation. ''He's too clingy. He's not what I want. Nate is amazing.''
I shake myself out of it. ''Okay Bryce.'' I say locking my eyes with his. ''Debbie's fallen out of love with you.'' I say more sternly than intended.
He looks like he's about to vomit.
''When?'' he finally asks in a voice that's barely a whisper. ''When did it happen?''
''I place a reasurring hand on his arm. ''She's felt this way for several months now.''
''My God. '' He breathes. His body tense. ''And she can't even tell me in person? She sends some friend to do it? Are you like her spokesperson or something?'' He swats my arm.
I sigh. Here we go.
''In a way,yes'' I reply handing Bryce my business card.
It reads:
Big Break Inc.
''It's not you, it's us!''
Susannah Simon
Communications Specialist
(555) 65-LEAVE
'' I work for a breakup service Debbie hired me to sort through the details.'' I explain as Bryce stares blankly at the card.
''She hired you to dump me?''
I nod and his jaw drops.
''You can do that?'' he whispers.
''Your Big Break Inc. is one of the first companies of its kind.'' I rattle off.
''You mean, you make a living dumbing people?''
''Yes.'' And ending friendships. We'll even quit your job if the price is right. Your Big Break Inc. offers all sorts of services: Breakup Recovery Kits, personally crafter Dear John letters, counseling phone calls, and property and pet retrieval.
''No fucking way!'' Bryce exclaims. A few people turn to stare.
I try to get back to my job. I hand Bryce an envelope from my purse. ''Debbie had some things she wanted to tell you, and she felt it best to put them in a letter.''
Every word of that letter was written by me. I interviewed Debbie about why she wanted to end things and then reworded her answers into a heart-felt goodbye note.
''Is this what you do? Profit off of other people's misery? You must get sick pleasure out of this.''
I've heard this before. ''Believe me. Nothing is farther from the truth. I just facilitate smooth endings to relationships.''
''And how many smooth endings have you facilitated this month, Suze? Do tell.''
I believe the total count comes to 43. But who's counting?
''Debbie's so pathetic for hiring someone to dumb me.''
I sip my coffee. ''Believe me, there are worse ways to break up with people.''
Like on their birthday or Christmas or the worst, Valentines day. There's other crappy ways like email, text messages, instant messenger, postcard, or Post-It.
''I wish my last boyfriend had hired someone to break things off.''
Bryce relaxes a bit. ''Why?''
''He dumped me on the radio'' I start to go in My Story- my own personal break-up horror story. ''He was a DJ at WGTV and he dedicated 'N Sync's Bye Bye Bye to me''
''Ouch'' Bryce bites his lip.
''Tad broke up with me on air.'' I added. ''I had been trying to get ahold of him all week and I turn on the radio one morning to hear about how he nailed some Hooters waitress. One of the other DJs asked about me and Tad replied that he had dumped me weeks ago. He then cued with the 'N Sync song.''
I end with wanted to wrap up this job.
''I'll need to arrange a time to pick up a list of Debbie's things.'' I tell Bryce.
''Please, I don't want to do this'' Bryce begs. ''Tell her I'll change. I'll quit smoking. I-I'll do yoga!''
''You shouldn't change yourself for anyone.'' I warn him standing up. ''It never works. Besides, Debbie's mind is made up.''
''Will you just do me one favor?'' Bryce asks before I leave.
''Debbie was supposed to go to my brother's wedding with me. If I show up alone, my parents will go ballistic. Convince Debbie to go with me.'' Bryce hesitates. ''One last date to say goodbye.''
''I don't know..''
CeeCee Webb, my boss and best friend at Your Big Break Inc. always citing one of our cardinal rules: Do not get personally involved with a client.
I sigh. ''Give me a couple of days.''