I woke up so early this morning to find my IPod still on and Christina Aguilera's 'Hurt' song playing in the background. Then I had this sudden urge, the 'write-it-or-else-you-will regret-it' urge. So I got off my bed, opened my laptop and started writing whatever my mind dictates me.

I apologise for not having wide vocabulary here, I tried to avoid using words over and over again but I was writing this really fast and didn't have much time for editing as I am sleepy. So don't want to think more elaborative words and ended up using words over and over again because I am sleepy and tired with half lids, typing. Hell I am doing it again. Anyway, here it is so kindly bear with.

Song: Hurt by Christina Aguilera (Haven't I mentioned this already?)

Summary:

No summary…

"Arthur?" Called Merlin standing by the door of the Prince's room but the latter with his back on Merlin didn't turn and just continued studying the papers on the table. "Arthur!" He called again this time louder.

Arthur stopped scanning the documents on his hands.

Sensing the Prince's will to listen to him this time Merlin opened his mouth to speak but no words came out. Looking at Arthur's back longingly, he lets out a sigh and dropped his head down walking towards the prince in front of him.

Arthur turned sensing Merlin's movement. Their gaze met and time seemed came to a halt, forgetting the words they wanted to say to each other, only seeking the truth and understanding in each other's eyes. But the intensity of it made Arthur surrender and looked anywhere but Merlin.

Seems like it was yesterday when I saw your face
You told me how proud you were but I walked away
If only I knew what I know today

It has been a while since both of them spent time together. Ever since he confessed to Arthur about his magic their relationship became complicated. Though Arthur didn't say much about it, he knows the blonde haven't really forgiven him about it yet. Not that he has a choice anyway but he knows that Arthur is caught in the middle too. Arthur who was raised to a belief that all magic is evil, who is serving his father the King of Camelot that hates magic and everyone involves in it a great deal and him, Arthur's servant, friend… and lover.

I would hold you in my arms
I would take the pain away

He still can't believe that the man of his dream actually feels the same for him. The strong prince, heir to the crown, the kind (though you have to really look closely), just and beautiful man is in love with him, Merlin, a servant. It wasn't easy to believe it at first, hearing those words came out of those luscious lips made it the more unbelievable. But Arthur showed him far more than he expected to make him realise and cry as result that the man does love him.

But he has had enough of Arthur's silent treatment; he wanted to know where he stands after revealing his true self to the prince.

"What happened to us?" Merlin asked to himself rather than to the man standing inches away from him.

Thank you for all you've done
Forgive all your mistakes

Arthur returned his eyes to the young lad in front him. "Merlin…" the prince could only utter.

Once again their eyes met but this time both held their feelings of yearning aside wanting for their questions to be answered and for things to be explained.

"Tell me." Merlin raised his hand to touch the man's face. "Tell me Arthur."

The blonde battled his very being not to lean to his lover's touch. With determined desire to settle things at once he gathered his strength to pronounce the words he wanted to say "You know I love you Merlin, you know I do, I would do anything for you."

"But." Merlin continued when the prince didn't say anything for a while.

Arthur wanted to continue but he found it harder to say the things he wanted to convey than when he's thinking it especially when the figure involves is already standing in front of you.

There's nothing I wouldn't do
To hear your voice again
Sometimes I want to call you but I know you won't be there

He doesn't want to hurt his servant now the man he loves and owe a great deal of his life, even his father's in fact. But it is necessary after all. His father, even though is not in perfect shape to rule Camelot, still is the King and will know about Merlin soon.

It was an accident, an accident that surely will cause his manservant's life once the fact is relayed to his father. The man may not know about it but earlier while he was performing his task for Arthur, was seen by his Uncle doing magic to clean his armour, such idiotic thing to do he dare say. He was on his way to the stable where Merlin now cleans his chainmail and armour when he found his Uncle standing meters away from his servant. So when he brought his eyes to Merlin and saw a rag polishing his armour alone, his eyes went wide and immediately seek the attention of his Uncle acting as if he didn't see his manservant performing an act punishable by death.

But now after his Uncle informed him of the traitorous act Merlin performed, saying that he will inform his father of the matter at once, he can't do anything to stop it from happening. Even as the crown prince he still has not much anything to say against the law the King created. And as the prince he is expected to follow the rule and has to make sure that their people wouldn't lose faith in them.

I'm sorry for blaming you for everything I just couldn't do
And I've hurt myself by hurting you

"You have to go." The prince finally found the ability to speak his mind. "You have to leave Camelot." He doesn't want to risk endangering the life of his lover. Just the thought of Merlin in the pyre makes him cringe. So if he could do something to prevent the man from getting harm he will do it without hesitation no matter the consequences, however hard it is.

Merlin slowly dropped his hand from touching Arthur's' face eyes filled with tears.

"Is this it then?" Merlin asked.

Arthur tried really hard not to lean in and bring his lover to his arms. He decided to turn around and went to the window looking outside but not really seeing anything.

"My Uncle witnessed you performing magic this morning, and I dare say it again. How idiotic can you be! You know magic is banned here in Camelot and yet here you are performing magic anytime you wish. Have you any mind at all? Or are you really that desperate to die?"

To say that Merlin was shock is an understatement, he suddenly found it hard to speak. Guilty as he is, he knows what it means for others to find out about his magic especially if it is the King himself.

"Your... Uncle?" He tried to confirm.

Arthur turned and walked towards Merlin looking at him straight in the eyes "Yes. So leave right now if you don't want to be put in the pyre!"

"But, Arthur, I can't just leave you."

"You can Merlin and you will. You have no choice in the matter!" Arthur shouted, he feels really annoyed and mad at the idiotic man in front of him. But he feels really sad and broken knowing that this could be the last time he will see his lover.

Some days I feel broke inside but I won't admit
Sometimes I just want to hide 'cause it's you I miss
You know it's so hard to say goodbye when it comes to this

He brought his hands up to cup the face of the man he loves brushing his thumbs across his cheeks. Leaning in for the kiss he'd been aching to do, he gently tilted his head to meet his lips and ran with tender kisses.

The sound of bell ringing outside the room however brought their attentions to reality.

"Go. Now!" Arthur suddenly had a feeling of dejavu and found himself pushing Merlin away.

Merlin took a last glance before finally leaving the prince alone, failing to see the tears escaping the eyes of his lover.

Would you tell me I was wrong?

Would you help me understand?

Are you looking down upon me?
Are you proud of who I am?

It has been weeks since the event of his father finding about the true identity of Merlin, it has been weeks since he had last seen, touched and hear the voice of Merlin. He missed him dearly but he tried to act as if nothing happened and the matter with his servant is just a very unfortunate turn of event. However in the eyes of the people who really know the prince, they know deep inside Arthur is hurting and he is just hiding his true feelings.

Arthur focused his attentions on the people of Camelot in order to avoid thinking of Merlin every second of his breathing. He goes on hunting trips more often and vents his frustrations on the animals he would find. There are times that bandits appear out of nowhere and he would find himself and his knights outnumbered but at the end of the fight they still win. Miraculously or not he always thought that he saw a glimpse of Merlin during those fights. Though he reasoned it is just him missing the man.

There's nothing I wouldn't do
To have just one more chance
To look into your eyes and see you looking back

However, when one day a dagger that is supposed to have pierced him is hanging in the air dangerously closely to his chest, he immediately scanned the area and tried to find Merlin only failing in the end. That was the start that everything became clear to him. Everything came to him like an answer he's been seeking for a long time. Merlin though maybe afar, yet is near. Always near for him to save his life fulfilling the destiny he was given.

"Arthur." The King brought his attention back.

"Yes father?" He answered, looking at his father sitting in the dining table.

"Have you caught that manservant of yours?" the King enquired.

"No father." He answered curtly.

"Have you really no idea about his magic at all?"

Arthur lets out a sigh. He can't remember how many times his father had asked about his knowledge of Merlin's magic and every time he gave him the same answer. But his father seems to really just do not believe him.

"Father, do you really wish for me to say that, yes I do know about his magic and betray you?" He stated than ask. "I wouldn't dare do that, not just for you but for the people of Camelot."

"So are you telling me that if you caught your manservant, you are willing to kill him?"

Arthur finds it hard to response to that question. He knows that he can't do it; why else would he send Merlin away only to kill the man himself? But knowing his father he has to be strong and show him that his loyalty is still to Camelot.

"Yes father." Arthur answered finding the courage to speak another lie.

I'm sorry for blaming you for everything I just couldn't do
And I've hurt myself

Arthur brought his index finger across his mouth to signal Leon and his other Knight behind him to be silent. They were again on one of their hunting trips. He tried to follow the noise walking very slowly as to avoid any loud movement. After moments of aiming to make sure his target will be hit with his spear, his attention was captured by the faint voices he suddenly heard not knowing that this would actually change his life forever.

Tracing the voices' destination Arthur made light footsteps to avoid their presence known.

Upon nearing the source of the voices, Arthur found two figures talking. His eyes went wide realising who the two figures are.

"Morgana, Uncle Agravaine." Arthur voiced the names of the two persons he found. Upon hearing him, the subjects turned and made eye contact with him. "Uncle, what are you doing with Morgana?" He heard himself ask.

"Well since you already caught me might as well tell the truth then." He walked towards Arthur who made few steps backward. "I have been working alongside Morgana ever since I arrived in Camelot." The man explained.

"What?" He asked not believing what he is hearing.

"It is the truth Arthus Pendragon," Morgana interjected. "Brother." She added to taunt the prince.

"You are no sister of mine!" Arthur shouted.

"We are brother and sister, are we not?" A smirk appeared on the face of the sear upon seeing the rage in Arthur's form. "Truth hurts, doesn't it?"

If I had just one more day, I would tell you how much that
I've missed you since you've been away

"Why are you doing this?" Enquired Arthur very calmly, though inside he is seething. He wanted to strangle the woman in front of her but he is dominated by the care he feels toward the seer. "Father treated you well." He continued instead.

"Well?" Morgana repeated with a hint of mock in her voice. "Are you kidding me?" She continued. "If you would count those times I was sent to prison for defying his highness. Then I guess he 'really' has treated me well." She walked towards Agravaine and stood beside him facing Arthur and the Knights. "You have no idea how hard it was for me to hide myself from the ruling of Uther. How hard it was to know who I truly am and act like nothing happened and still live with the man who hates the like of me and so I left."

"But are you happy?" Arthur dared.

For a while Morgana didn't utter a word. She was looking at Arthur like he has grown 2 heads.

"My happiness doesn't matter. As long as I kill Uther and give justice to the people he killed, it will set magic free and we, magic users like me will get the freedom we rightfully deserve." She spat with such confidence in her voice. "But of course you wouldn't understand that. With you being in the King's shadow, you wouldn't see pass his tyranny." Morgana continued releasing all the emotions she's hiding.

"You've got that one wrong Morgana, I maybe following his steps but I will not be him." Arthur depended, moving forwards with his Knights beside him.

"Arthur." Whispered Leon, motioning his eyes towards the tree behind the two traitors.

Arthur followed and saw Merlin hiding, he felt glad seeing his lover at last though he hid it as not to get noticed.

"Such, good words, Arthur Pendragon unfortunately you will never be King nor will I give you the chance anyway!" Upon delivering her words, Morgana spoke a spell that sent Arthur and his Knights flying meters away and landing on their backs.

Agravaine attacked Leon while Morgana faced the prince.

It was a battle of swords and magic, dominance clashing, trying to outdo each other.

Merlin appeared from behind the trees and attacked Agravaine, but he was stopped when he heard Arthur fall to the ground, he immediately went to his side.

"Arthur."

"Merlin."

"Are you alright?" Looking at Arthur with such longing in his eyes. "You're not hurt aren't you?"

"I don't think this is the right time to ask me of that." Arthur interjected.

"Merlin." Morgana spoke, calling the attention of Merlin.

"Morgana." He acknowledged, looking at the lady he once called a friend.

"So good to see you."

"I don't feel the same." He spat back, leaving the prince lying with his back on the ground to stand.

"Seriously Merlin, you shouldn't be here. I don't want to hurt you after all."

"Oh, trust me you have no idea what I can do."

Morgana's eyes twitched at his comment.

"So be it then, you'll die here with your prince. Forbærne! Ácwele!" Shouted Morgana, sending fire balls against Merlin which he was able to dodge.

He raised his hand towards Morgana and spoke "Feoll bu brand." With his eyes turning gold the rocks behind the seer started collapsing.

But Morgana was fast and was able to move. "I see, so you can do Magic as well. Ablinn ðu, forlæte ðu." Morgana released before sending another sets of fireball to Merlin that sent Merlin to his knees after getting hit on the side of his leg.

Oh, it's dangerous
It's so out of line to try to turn back time

Morgana shook his head looking, "Is that all you can do?"

Merlin stood limping.

"You just got lucky."

"And that's what I have most." Smirking as she commented.

Merlin didn't notice that Morgana's words were not for him but for the man aiming a dagger towards him.

He was stunned even more seeing Arthur behind him with the dagger in his chest. "Arthur." He called, but when the man didn't respond. Rage overcome his whole being, the sky grew darker in colour and Merlin's eyes turned gold.

"Bærne." Merlin uttered to start a blaze and trap Morgana and Agravaine. "Cume her fyrbryne." He breathed, and 2 lines of fire conjured from his feet travelled to the ground and set the two figures in fire.

He turned his attention towards Arthur and still didn't see him moving. "Arthur." He called. "Arthur!" He tried to shake the prince to try and wake him yet it was futile.

Tears started to roll down his face and tried to heal Arthur's wounds but it won't take any effects. His magic is not working and this aggravated him even more. But when he heard the voice of the prince he immediately brought his eyes to him.

"Arthur." Merlin called snipping unelegantly.

"Merlin." Arthur acknowledged. "I'm… sorry."

Merlin ran his fingers tracing the contour the prince's face, "No. Arthur, don't say that, you have nothing to apologise for."

Arthur shook his head. "I'm sorry I couldn't protect you."

"You did, Arthur, You just protected me."

A smile appeared on Arhur's face.

"I am glad." Mouthing this words, Arthur slowly closed his eyes.

I'm sorry for blaming you for everything I just couldn't do

Holding Arthur in his arms lifeless, Merlin could only cry. But his magic is in havoc and wants to break away, the Sorcerer screamed as loud as he can. When his power finally breaks loose and lightning appeared, burning down everything it hits the sky cried so hard their bodies are now soaked in blood, mud and tears. But Merlin doesn't see any of it. He could only see the face of the once strong and unbeatable knight. "Arthur!" He shouted crying and embracing the man tighter than ever before. "Arthur, Arthur, Arthur!" Merlin repeated like a mantra. He kept shouting his name until he couldn't anymore, until he had lost all his strength to cry and could only hold the form of his lover and whisper. "I love you."

And I've hurt myself

By hurting you

And there you have it. My first Merthur fanfic/songfic, hope you liked it, and like I said, my apologies if you find it hard to understand my story because it's a bit muddled. In fact this wasn't suppose to be a Merthur story but a Snarry one. However I wasnt in my good mind to recall the ins and outs of Hogwarts so I thought why not Merthur!

Conscience: Why did you kill Arthur?

Me: …. Did I?

Conscience: Yes. You. Did. (glare)

Me: Oh...

Conscience: You could have used Power over Life and Death and yet you didnt.

Me: Right... I didn't think of that. Shall I rephrase it then?

Holding Arthur in his arms lifeless, Merlin could only cry. But his magic is in havoc and wants to break away, the Sorcerer screamed as loud as he can when his power finally breaks loose and lightning appeared, burning down everything it hits. The sky cried so hard their bodies are now soaked in blood, mud and tears. But Merlin doesn't see any of it. He could only see the face of the once strong and unbeatable knight. "Arthur!" He shouted crying and embracing the man tighter than ever before. "Arthur, Arthur, Arthur!" Merlin repeated like a mantra.

"For the love of all that's holy Merlin, shut up! You're breaking my ears."

The sorcerer blinked hearing the voice of the prince. He chanced a look at the body he's holding and saw two blue eyes looking expectantly at him.

"Arthur?" He called his name to confirm. "You're… You're alive!" Merlin exclaimed.

"Why, yes Merlin I am. Have you lost even your common sense too?" Arthur commented rubbing his temple with the heels of his palm.

"But… But, you're dead!"

They both looked at the wound that 'killed' Arthur and found nothing but remnants of blood stains on his clothes.

"Well I guess I am not." The prince declared showing his signature smile to his lover.

Me: Satisfied now? (Though I thought this is more of a blooper than an alternative ending)

Conscience: (happy) :-)