Tears were running down Sonia's cheeks. She choked on them and had trouble getting the lullaby she was singing out of her mouth. The Four Gods of Destruction were cuddled up against her chest and had finally begun to relax and fall asleep. They had been worried, whining after their owner, as if they knew what had happened. The thought made it even harder for Sonia to breath.
Her fingers ran through San-D's orange and white fur. She wasn't sure whether she did it to calm San-D down or herself, but it seemed to work for both of them so she kept doing it. She wondered what Tanaka would say if he saw them. His Four Heavenly Kings of Darkness cuddled with his Queen of Darkness. He would probably have smiled and said that "the Four Devas of Destruction sensed her dark power, and have chosen her", like he had said the first time Sonia had been cuddling with them.
The thought of Tanaka's smile and how happy he would be to see that Sonia and the Four Devans liked each other made Sonia cry even harder. She closed her eyes and imagined it was Gundam that was lying beside her, that it was his black and pale grey hair her fingers ran through. That he was holding her, calling her his Queen of the Underworld, telling her how they would rule the world together. It made her smile through the tears.
Her pillow had been stripped of its case and instead had Gundam's pillow case covering it. It smelled like him, and Sonia didn't care if some may think she was creepy. His smell on the pillow calmed her down, made her relax, and made it easier to pretend everything was fine. If she closed her eyes, with her nose buried in the pillow and Gundam's smell, her fingers running through San-D's fur, she could pretend. Pretend that everything was fine. Pretend Gundam was still alive.
His execution had been so brutal. It had been horrible to watch, but she hadn't been able to look away. When he started drawing in the sand with a stick Sonia had felt hope rise in her. She had hoped. Hoped and hoped and hoped. Wished that whatever Gundam was doing, it would work. Wishing that all of the dark powers that he said he had, and the ones he said rested within Sonia as well, would somehow save him.
But the hope had been eradicated with the despair when the stampede had hit him, killing him, leaving Sonia all alone. Sonia had been crying for a the whole night. She could still not quite believe it. She had been so certain Gundam would live through this. That he would find a way to free himself and Sonia, taking her with him out to the outside world and away from this madness. She had hoped that they could live together forever, get their fairytale ending. But all Sonia was left with was loneliness, the Four Heavenly Kings, and a bottomless pit of despair.
She hugged the Devans of Destruction closer, her tears and sobbing muffled by the soft and fluffy fur. How could he do this to her? How could he leave her like this?
"A king shouldn't leave his queen", Sonia whispered and finally started drifting off to sleep.