Disclaimer: This story is based on characters and situations created and owned by JK Rowling, various publishers including but not limited to Bloomsbury Books, Scholastic Books and Raincoast Books, and Warner Bros., Inc. No money is being made and no copyright or trademark violation is intended.
Added note/disclaimer: This is a one shot, but it's not really a song fic. The italicized bold parts are parts of a song – it's not the complete song though and it belongs to Dashboard Confessional not me.
"The signal is subtle
We pass just close enough to touch
No questions, no answers
We know by now to say enough
With only simple words
With only subtle turns
The things we feel alone for one another…"
Your eyes meet mine. I slowly lower my eyelids until my lashes are lying on my cheeks. I know you know what I'm trying to say to you. I brush by you, my eyes are now open and my face twisted into a sneer. I say something nasty, as I always do, but my hand brushes your arm and our eyes meet and lock.
Then you say something just as cruel back to me. Your friends are saying things about me that you know are true though I don't want them to be. I know you know. You always know. You know how I like your hands on my face, brushing my silky hair. I know you know I like the way you love me. It's love, you know. You were my first and I've sworn to myself that you will be last. Never again will anyone creep into my bed and know me the way you know me. Never again will anyone kiss me the way you do. I'll never let them touch me the way you do.
I am yours and I know you know.
"There is a secret that we keep
I won't sleep if you won't sleep
Because tonight may be the last chance we'll be given
We are compelled to do what we must do
We are compelled to do what we have been forbidden..."
I see you walking down the corridor. Your eyes meet mine before you close them. I can see your eyelashes casting shadows on your pale cheeks. You say something cruel, but my mind isn't on that. It's on the hand you brush against my arm. I know you love me and I know you want more of what we had the night before. I know that tonight I will creep out of my room and tiptoe down the stairs. Then I will walk down to your room and whisper the password. Then I shall crawl into your bed where, in your arms, I will be sheltered from my nightmares.
But I wrench my mind away from the knowledge and say something that everyone thinks I would say.
I hate you. I hate you for making me love hating you. I hate you because you know what nobody else does. I hate you for making me worry about the paleness of your skin. About the way I can see your fine bones through your skin. I'll tell you that you need to eat more. You'll lift your nose and tell me you're too aristocratic to eat more than you already do. You like to taste things. You like to savor the taste and let it melt in your mouth. I know you do. I know you like to run your tongue over my skin and taste the saltiness of it. I know you like the deep long kisses. You're such a romantic sap but you'll deny it to your dying breath.
You look at me and our eyes lock again. You want me tonight. And I turn away, but brush my hand by your leg as I walk away. Tonight may be the last night.
"Our act of defiance
We keep this secret in our blood
No paper or letters
We pass just close enough to touch
We love in secret names
We hide within our veins
The things that keep us bound to one another..."
We both know that it's not meant to last. Neither one of us has called out the other's name in the throes of passion. This is what they don't want us to have. We both know that if they ever found out…
The savior and enemy. The lovers.
We'll meet in the shadows of the night. We'll crawl into each other's bed but there are no words of love passed through our lips. We have never written a note or a letter. Everything we say is said in the silence of our actions.
xxx
And now you're gone… taking my heart…
- Dashboard Confessional
A/N: It wasn't a songfic, but it wrote like one. This has not been beta'd; it was just a really random thing I came up with. Again, it's written without my muse, but it's kind of vague... I'm not sure I'm happy with it, but whatever, hope you enjoyed. Anyway, drop me a line if you're interested!
Citation/Disclaimer(s)/Reference:
1. Parts of "The Secret's in the Telling" by Dashboard Confessional