A/N: For some bizarre reason I thought I could write this prompt fill without things getting smutty...
However, the first chapter isn't smutty, it does have some UST, though, but I split the story so it can be read as a silly one shot if you like. I will increase the rating when I post the second chapter.
The second, longer chapter will be mostly smut, but I'm still trying to smooth out the kinks (not those kind of kinks). I wasn't planning on splitting the story in two chapters, but I'm once again stuck in a rewriting loop when it comes to the second part, so if I post the first half, I'll feel guilty if I don't post the second half as well. Three cheers for my self-guilt-tripping skills.
Waves crashing against the rocky shore woke Ziva from a fitful sleep. The ordinarily relaxing sound couldn't compete with the jackhammer in her head. Bright sunlight penetrated her closed eyelids and made the headache even worse. Barely awake, and definitely hung over, she lifted a hand to her head.
When her fingers finally touched her forehead, and a second hand smacked her in the face, her eyes flew open despite the throbbing in her head. She sat up quickly and looked around for any signs of danger. As the beach and ocean stopped spinning all around her, she noticed the area was deserted, apart from Tony lying next to her.
Reassured they weren't in any imminent danger, Ziva inhaled deeply, the salty air barely lifting the clouds in her head, and focused on her partner. He was sprawled out on his back, wearing nothing but swim shorts and a few patches of sand that stuck to his skin. Her gaze drifted over his tanned body. His new workout routine was really paying off. When the hem of his shorts came into focus a nagging voice in the back of her head reminded her somebody had slapped her in the face.
Raising her right arm once more, Ziva gasped. She pulled her arm forwards and the brusque movement woke up Tony. His eyes opened to slits as he smacked his lips and looked at her.
"You handcuffed us together?" Her hangover was all but forgotten as she dangled her right hand, and his left, in front of his face.
He raised himself on his elbows, pulling her arm in the process, and looked at her slightly dazed.
"Why would I do that?"
She ground her teeth. "Because you are always playing pranks on me and McGee."
"I always make sure I'm out of arm's reach when I prank you. Why would I make it easier on you to kill me?" Tony yawned and scratched his chin.
Ziva looked towards the ocean. He was right; her accusation didn't make much sense. When her anger subsided a little and she turned her attention to Tony again, a yellow sticky note on his forehead caught her eye. He plopped back down, unaware, whining about too much booze and old age. She reached over to take the note with her right hand, just so he would smack himself in the face with his own hand, the way he had slapped her in the face. Sure, he had been unconscious at the time, but she was feeling hung over and extremely petty about the whole situation. Tony made a face, but cocked an eyebrow at the note she was now holding.
"I'll kill him!"
"You know, as a law enforcement officer you should know better than to blurt out something like that. Somebody always ends up dead."
Ziva held up the note for him to read.
This is until you work out your sexual tension - McGee
"I'll help you hide the body," Tony said with a scowl.
Ziva moved to get up, leaving Tony little choice but to go with her. She scoffed, "Sexual tension."
She was about to swipe the sand from her back when she caught Tony grinning at her with hooded eyes, and realized where the motion would place his left hand. She raised an eyebrow.
"What? I'll let you brush the sand from my ass." His wink made her temperature rise, and not in a good way.
"You are proving McGee right!"
"Come on. It's not like we're doing body shots or anything."
He laughed, but Ziva had a sinking feeling in her stomach. And when she saw Tony's eyes go wide as saucers, visions from last night flooded her brain.
Licking his neck. His tongue and lips on her stomach. His eyes dark as storm clouds when he took the lime wedge from her mouth and their lips touched accidentally. Maybe that hadn't really been accidental.
She vaguely remembered McGee complaining at one point. The visual memories flooding her brain, combined with the hangover, were making thinking more difficult than it should be.
Tony's gaze drifted down to her stomach, and she hoped all the tanning from the past week hid the blush she felt crawling up her chest and face. She turned towards the beach house they'd been staying at and swallowed hard.
"We should go back. Get these cuffs off."
She'd rather not be physically attached to him when he looked at her like that. It could lead to . . . mistakes. Something he might regret. Something she might regret. Maybe. Mistakes that could ruin their friendship.
"After we strangle McGee with them," Tony said.
She let out a laugh and turned back to him with a smile. He always knew how to break the tension. Except for this past week. This past week he had done nothing but create tension.
Honestly, McGee's note wasn't that far off. The tension between her and Tony had risen exponentially ever since she walked out of the house in a bikini seven days ago. She had seen the hungry look Tony had given her. She had also seen that look turn to anger and possessiveness every time another man, and a handful of women, had given her the same look. At one point he had even head slapped McGee when his gaze had apparently lingered a bit too long for Tony's liking.
They entered the house through the sliding doors that opened onto the beach. McGee looked up from where he was sitting at the table, squinting into the sunlight to see them, a glass of orange juice and a box of Advil in front of him.
"Hey guys," he said quietly.
He'd always been a lightweight when it came to drinking. By the looks of it, his hangover was at least as bad hers.
McGee's head shot up and he stared at them for a moment, then at their hands, and ran towards the front door faster than she had expected. Maybe he wasn't that hung over after all. Or maybe the fear of retaliation outweighed the physical discomfort caused by too much alcohol.
"Well," Tony said after a few moments of staring at the front door, "he won't be back any time soon."