Present day:
Rory sits across from her mother, at her kitchen table. She sips her coffee. Lorelai looks over at her daughter. She has dark circles under her eyes. Rory stares into her cup of coffee. Her forehead wrinkles, and worry is written all over her face.
"What's on your mind, Rory?"
Rory shrugs, "Do you ever wonder how things would have been, if we had done things differently? What if…"
Lorelai interrupts, "You can't spend your whole life wondering what if."
"Don't you ever wonder?"
"One day changed my whole life. One day changed both of our lives, forever."
"Things went in a direction that neither one of us anticipated, I can admit that. I wouldn't take any of it back, if that is what you're asking."
"You don't have regrets?"
"Are you telling me that you do?"
"I didn't say that," she admits.
"Rory, where is this coming from all of a sudden?"
Rory just shrugs, but doesn't respond.
3/15/01
Rory presses her lips up against Tristan's as they sit on the piano bench together. He pulls away, and she stares into his bright brown eyes. She feels her heart skip a beat, and in a second she makes a decision. Suddenly she feels nervous energy washing over her.
"Don't stop," she tells him.
He smirks at her, "Mary…" trying to dissuade her.
She scoots closer, pressing her lips against his ear, "Don't stop."
"Are you sure?"
She ignores the butterflies in her stomach, and her mother's voice screaming at her, "Yes."
He nods in agreement, "Let's go somewhere a little more private."
"Okay," she agrees, naively. She doesn't consider the potential ramifications of the choices that she has just made. He takes her by the hand, and leads her up the back staircase to a guest room. Within a few minutes it is all over, and they are both scrambling to get re-dressed.
She gets home late, but her mother doesn't give her the third degree. When she arrives home Lorelai is already in her pajamas, wearing a pre-occupied look on her face. Rory swiftly heads into the bathroom to take a shower.
The next several days are quiet between the two Lorelai's. Both of them seem to have heads filled with private thoughts. Rory keeps the secret to herself. The silence of a secret so large burns her light a hot flame. She feels an urgent need to share the truth with someone, before she explodes. Rory finishes her schoolwork, and heads off to Lane's. When she arrives at the Kim residence she races up the stairs to Lane's bedroom. When she reaches her destination she closes the door behind her. Lane sits at her desk, finishing her homework.
"Where is the fire?"
"Lane I need to talk to you!"
"So, talk."
"The other night, at the party, when you couldn't find me…" she trails off.
"What about it?"
"Lane, I did something that I shouldn't have."
Lane furrows her brow, "Like what?"
"Something monumentally stupid," Rory feels her heart racing a mile a minute.
"Rory calm down, and breathe."
Rory nods, as Lane points to her bed, "Have a seat."
Rory lowers herself to the edge of the bed. Lane takes a seat next to her.
"Whatever it is, you can tell me."
"I slept with Tristan," the words fall from her mouth like hot coals.
"You did what?!"
"We had sex."
"What?!"
"You heard me the first time."
"How was it?"
She shrugs, "Quick?" Which is the first thing that comes to her mind. She fails to mention any racy details.
"Was it good?"
She shrugs once again, "I don't know. I have nothing to compare it to."
"Rory are you okay?" Lane asks Rory, who looks incredibly pale.
"No. I did something so stupid. I was feeling sorry for myself, and I made a really stupid decision. My mom is going to kill me."
"You don't have to tell her," Lane points out.
"I am surprised she hasn't figured out already. Honestly, I am surprised I haven't told her yet. Every time I am around her I feel like I am going to have diarrhea of the mouth, or worse."
"What could be worse?"
"I am going to make eye contact with her, and she is just going to know somehow."
"How would she know?"
Rory shrugs, "She has some sort of sixth sense when it comes to me. I can't really explain it."
"Did you use protection?"
"Of course."
"Then, maybe you should just tell her."
"I'll be grounded until I'm thirty."
Lane shrugs, "She should be over it by then."
When Rory arrives home Lorelai is sitting on the couch. She turns around to greet her daughter.
"Rory, I need to talk to you," she announces.
Rory's eyes widen, "Oh?" She feels a sense of impending doom. Her stomach begins to churn. Her gut tells her that this is where her mother calls her to the carpet. She knows that she is no match to Lorelai's judgmental looks.
"Have a seat," Lorelai suggests.
Rory reluctantly joins her mother on the couch. She fidgets, as she tries to find a comfortably position. She turns to her mother, signaling that she is ready to listen. She refuses to make eye contact, knowing her mother will be able to read her facial expression. She knows it is all over if she does.
"Rory, you know that I hate to keep secrets from you."
"Yes," her spidey senses begin to tingle.
"If I screw up, I am willing to admit that."
"Yes," her pulse begins to race yet again.
"I don't want you to feel like you have to keep things from me," Lorelai continues.
"I understand," her heart sinks.
"So I feel that it is only fair that I show you the same respect."
Rory makes eye contact, as she furrows her brow, "What?!"
"Rory, the other night when you went to that party I went to Max's."
She waits for a beat, as she tries to process this information, "What?!"
"I don't know why I did it. It was stupid. I don't know what I was thinking. Obviously, I wasn't."
"What are you telling me?"
"I went over there, and I poured my heart out to him."
"Did you sleep with him?"
Lorelai falls silent, "I think it was a mistake."
Rory's nostrils flare, "Then why did you do it?"
"I guess I needed closure," she answers.
"Closure? Are you kidding me? Are you going to get back together with him?"
"That isn't the plan," she admits.
"It never is," Rory exhales, frustrated.
"Rory!"
Rory vacates her seat on the couch, and storms off to her room. She slams the door shut. She curls up onto a ball in her bed. As she lies there she wonders to herself who she's really angry at. The tears burn her cheeks as they stream down her face. She feels like a coward for not telling her mother the truth. She vows to tell her the truth.