A Christmas Miracle
a Family Guy fanfic
based on hopeless-romance45's (Villains' Bad Girl) universe
by DecaTilde
Author's Note: Well, this is it. This is the adaptation to the Family Guy episode "Christmas Guy" that Brian4life really wanted; no character deaths, and she only wants Brian to be the one to know about his averted death.
Also, for the title, Villains' Bad Girl suggested this, since neither B4L nor I could think of a better title.
Chapter 1 - I Want My Friend Back
Many months have passed since Briana moved out to live with Arnie, and since Barbara, Ollie, Jenny and Marcus accepted Vinny into the family, after everyone knew from Barbara that Vinny was Brian's younger brother.
Finally, December had come, and it was getting close to Christmas. While the Griffins were watching Home Alone with Compitent Robbers, Lois had her jacket on.
"Come on, everybody, let's go to the mall," she informed everyone. "It's time for the Christmas Carnival. It's Stewie's first Christmas."
"Again?" Stewie dismissed.
"I love the Christmas Carnival!" Chris shouted in excitement, little knowing his nose was bleeding.
"Chris, calm down," Lois said. "You're giving yourself a nosebleed."
"You know," Peter began, "the best thing about the Quahog Mall is finding fake reasons to turn around and look at passing teenage girls."
Cutaway: We see Peter and Lois at the Mall, walking.
"Hey, Lois," Peter adressed, "Where'd you say you wanted to go?"
"Marshall's," Lois answered as a teenage girl passed by.
"Oh, really?" Peter replied. Pointing rather at the girl, he continued, "'Cause didn't we pass Marshall's down there?"
Connie D'omicco passed by them.
"No, no wait, the Marshall's is down there," Peter continued, looking at Connie. Suddenly, other teenage girls passed by, and Peter started looking at them. "No, that's the Ross Dress for Less, the Marshall's is down here, unless this is one of them two-Marshall's malls."
"Peter, I know what you're doing," Lois replied, aware. "Knock it off."
"Fine," Peter replied. "But you can't stop the girls in my head." A vision of himself in a hot tub with three teenage girls appeared above his head.
"You rock, Mr. G," said a girl.
"Great wine coolers, Mr. G," another girl added.
"Are you sure we don't have to wear clothes in here, Mr. G?" the third girl asked.
"You girls ain't cops, right?" Thought Peter asked.
The Griffins have arrived at the mall. As soon as they got in, Barbara thought about what she wanted to give Ollie, Jenny and Marcus, since their birthday was on Christmas.
"Hmmm," she said, a finger under her chin. "I'm aware that Peter and Lois couldn't afford to give any of the puppies a real birthday party, since they're on a tight schedule." Turning to Vinny, she continued, "What do you think, Vin?"
"I dunno, Barbs," Vinny shrugged. "We gotta think of something fast. Christmas is only a week away."
While Peter, Lois, Meg and Chris took Stewie over to see Santa, Barbara and Vinny decided to take Ollie, Jenny and Marcus to the arcade to play some games, while they decided to go to the Starbucks to have some coffee.
Time had passed, and it was about time for Stewie to see Santa. However, both Barbara and Vinny had noticed that Stewie looked depressed.
"What's wrong with Stewie?" Barbara asked.
"I dunno, Barbs," Vinny shrugged. "He's next up to see the big guy himself and he looks like a piece of spaghetti on the street."
"Hmmm," Barbara held a finger under her chin. "I believe he feels like something is missing."
"Yeah, it's always something," Vinny agreed, "like when I finally got to sleep with Mary Lou Gallo. She had a look. But when you got up close, she also had a smell."
Barbara gave her brother-in-law a confusing look.
Finally, it was Stewie's turn.
"Oh, Stewie, you're next," Lois said, bringing her infant son to the Mall Santa's lap. It was now time.
"Ho, ho, ho," the Mall Santa began. "Mall Santa is brought to you in part this season by Chipotle. Between good and garbage, it's Chipotle. So, what do you want for Christmas?"
"Oh, what do I want for Christmas?" Stewie asked himself. "What do I want for Christmas?"
Stewie looked around him, seeing the remote flyer planes on display, some toys being rung up at the toy store cashier, his father being pushed by a couple teenagers, who then tossed his hat back and forth, then at the game store, and the gift-wrapping department. All of this seemed to be a bit too much for Stewie.
"I'll tell you what I don't want for Christmas," Stewie said. "All this cheap plastic junk. Do you know what I want for Christmas?" he continued, this time, with a sad look on his face. "I want my friend back."
"Your friend?" the Mall Santa repeated, confused.
"Yes," Stewie replied. "My best friend. My dog, Brian. He's dead. It's our first Christmas without him and no one's even mentioned his name."
Barbara and Vinny looked at each other sadly; they knew that the latter would never truly replace Brian.
"I don't care about this stupid carnival or Christmas," Stewie continued. "I don't care about anything except Brian. I want Brian." With that, Stewie started shedding tears.
"You want me to put a dead dog under your tree?" the Mall Santa asked, confused.
"Yes," Stewie answered. "And, uh, I... I'd like a bike, too."
On that, Stewie saw that two parents had bought their son a bike. The rest of the human family members were sad about what their youngest member said.