CHANGE
A 'Love Live! School Idol Project' fanfiction by Yuuki.
Riko sighed for the umpteenth time as she got off at Numazu station. Not bothering to look around, she hurried herself to exit the station and entered the nearest restaurant while dragging her suitcase behind her. A soft couch and maybe warm drinks would be great help right now. It wasn't like the trip from LA to Uchiura was something unusual for her—she came back more often than not—but she just couldn't get used to the long trip no matter what. She wondered how You could manage to stay as a pilot after these years. It must be exhausting.
A familiar tinkling sound entered her ears as she entered the restaurant, AZALEA. The restaurant was one of Kurosawa's chain that managed by Dia, so she made sure to go there every time she went back home.
Soon after she closed the door behind her, a waitress welcomed her. With her being one of Dia's closest friends, almost all AZALEA's employees knew her to some extent. "Welcome, Riko-san," the waitress said, bowing slightly.
Riko mustered her energy to smile as she greeted the waitress back. "Is Dia here?" Riko asked as the waitress took her to the seat.
"Manager is out right now, but she said that she'd back soon."
"Okay, thanks," Riko nodded before taking a seat.
"Your order, miss?"
Riko only glanced at the menu on the table and didn't bother to take it, as she always knew what she'd get every time she went to a restaurant. "I'll just take a sandwich and black tea."
"Still the same as usual, I see," the waitress smiled as she wrote down Riko's order. "Please wait for a moment, we'll get it ready soon."
"Thanks," Riko said before she—once again—mustered her strength to raise the corners of her lips. It stayed for a moment, but as soon as the waitress left she couldn't hide her exhaustion anymore. She sank into the couch while rubbing the bridge of her nose.
God, this is terrible...
The sandwich and black tea that came minutes later only helped a bit, and by the time her cup empty she still felt terrible. She was ready to order her second cup when Dia's message came. Dia promised—more like Riko made her promised—to pick her up and accompanied her for today, but it seemed something held the older girl up.
Making a workaholic like Dia to take a leave—even just for half a day—was a pain in the ass by the way.
Kurosawa Dia: Sorry, a problem occurred. I'll be there in an hour.
Sakurauchi Riko: I'll wait.
She threw her phone to her handbag as soon as the message had sent, before sighing once again. Folding her arms on the table, she rested her chin there and started staring at her reflection on the window. Without anything much to do and the somewhat calm and quiet atmosphere of the restaurant, her mind inevitably started thinking about things she'd rather not; about the reason she came back to Uchiura and about the reason why this trip felt a lot more exhausted than the previous trips.
Yoshiko and Hanamaru's wedding, that's it.
She hoped Dia could come soon, because tears had started to gather in the corner of her eyes.
To make it short, Riko was in a pinch. This wasn't just her usual normal-level pinch like getting chased around by Shiitake, but this is a monster-level pinch. For the comparison, she'd gladly lose her ability to play piano again if that meant she could pass this storm unscathed.
Or not. That'd be bad for my career and finance.
Anyway, the point was she'd gladly give almost everything to get out of this pinch because she didn't think she—mostly her heart—could get through the whole ordeal safely. She didn't think she could stand looking at Yoshiko and Hanamaru exchange wedding vows in front of her.
… Yeah. That was the problem. Yoshiko and Hanamaru's wedding. Not Yoshiko and Riko's wedding.
Great.
To tell the truth, she knew the day would come for sure ever since they were still in high school. The two of them suited each other so much that everyone would always tell them why they weren't dating already. But the two of them remained only friends even after years, and things started to change for Riko when Guilty Kiss trio lived together for 3 years. The sisterly love she had for Yoshiko changed into the romantic love. That was when Riko started to terrified of change. Every time things changed, it'd always end badly for her, just like this wedding.
The day Yoshiko had told her about the wedding was a month ago, and they weren't even dating at that time. Riko always wondered, why now of all time? Had they got married a long time ago, it'd be much easier for Riko. Had they been dating since a long time ago, she wouldn't have to see Yoshiko the way she saw her now. Sure, she expected it, but she'd still shocked if it came out of the blue. This was one of the many reasons she hated change. It didn't wait for anything. It just abruptly happened.
She'd bawled her eyes out almost every night after that. She'd hoped that maybe she could exhaust her tears stock for a year, so she wouldn't cry too hard during the ceremony. Okay, she knew that was stupid but letting her tears went uncontrolled at Yoshiko's wedding party would reveal her hidden feelings for the fallen angel for sure. Worse, she'd ruin what should be the happiest day for both of her juniors. She'd hate herself forever for that.
Crying helped her a little. At least, it was the start, and she had been slowly coming to terms with things. Maybe that was what she needed all this time; a clean break, so she wouldn't cling to a glimmer hope that maybe she would end up with Yoshiko somehow. So in one way or another, the wedding maybe was also a good thing for Riko.
However, attending the wedding itself was an entirely different matter, and that was the real problem. She loved with Yoshiko for years; her feeling couldn't just disappear in a month. Seeing Yoshiko married another girl would break her heart further and she didn't want that.
As the matter of fact, she had told them—Yoshiko and Hanamaru—that she couldn't come because her third solo concert was near. That wasn't entirely a made up excuse because she indeed had to prepare for a concert two months from now. But gosh... She just didn't have the heart to refuse when Yoshiko literally begged her to come. She just couldn't say no to Yoshiko, she never could, not even after her one-sided love was crushed completely.
In the end, she had decided to come, promising herself this was yet another clean break she needed. So now, here she was, coming back to Uchiura to attend her crush's wedding.
Great.
Okay, but things couldn't get any worse, right?
The answer was a big NO. The 'most problematic girl which unfortunately her best friend plus neighbor', or in short, Takami Chika, had to suggest holding the wedding in her ryokan, which accepted happily by the brides.
Fantastic.
Unfortunately, she only knew it a few days ago when all the preparation for going home was ready. She couldn't just change the date to come home because that meant she had to reschedule all her practices and meetings for her concert. Moreover, this was the last chance she could go home this year, so she couldn't just waste it. No matter how hurt she was, she also missed her family and friends.
So that meant, in her first one week visit to Uchiura, she was obligated to see the brides more often than she could take, or a lot more frequent than it should have.
Riko tried to stay positive. Maybe this was another clean break she needed. But just how many of them she needed, anyway?
Ah, how Riko miss her apartment in LA already...
Riko was absentmindedly running her finger through the edges of her cup when she heard a bell tinkled as someone entered the restaurant. Narrowing her eyes to the restaurant front door, she saw a black-haired beauty had just entered. Even from afar Riko could tell it was Kurosawa Dia, her senior in high school who somewhat became her closest friend these last years. She smiled happily for the first time in weeks. Like, gosh, how she missed the older girl and all the calm aura around her.
But Riko's expression soon turned sour when Dia—and the waitress who attended her—reached her table. "Why is your hair still short," she demanded immediately, not even letting Dia took a seat.
Dia arched an eyebrow as she answered, "I don't see any problem with that."
"But I do. Long hair suits you so much that it's almost a crime," Riko frowned, inviting a giggle from the waitress behind Dia.
"Then the more reason to not growing it," Dia shrugged as she casually sat in front of Riko.
The two of them didn't bother exchange greeting at all after that. As long as they remember, even though they rarely met, they never exchanged greetings or goodbyes, except for 'See you'.
"Why are you looking at the menu?" Riko asked when she saw Dia took the menu from the stand. "You're the manager."
"Yeah. Manager. Not a waitress," Dia nodded to the waitress, who didn't hold back her laugh at all. Riko knew she could never win an argument with Dia, so she just gave in.
As Dia going through the menu, Riko inspected her thoroughly, searching whatever she maybe missed after not meeting the older girl for a year. Nothing changed, she concluded. It seemed Dia still kept the short hairstyle since she had cut it back when they were in college. Last year, Riko had spent her holiday persuading Dia to grow her hair back. Looking at her now, Riko could tell that her effort was futile.
Though the older girl didn't change that much after a year, if it was comparing the current Dia to the high school Dia, then Riko could point a lot of differences. The hair, of course is, her first answer, but it wasn't the only thing that changed. Dia laughed less, smiled less, and also gotten so much better at poker-face. She was still the old kind and caring Dia, but not to everyone. She demanded perfection less and got a bit more casual, but that didn't mean it was easier to get close to her now. Well, adulthood hit her and Mari harder that it did anyone else in Aqours, given how much load they carried on their shoulders.
Riko didn't mind the change though, because Riko was on of the exceptions to Dia's change. If anything, the kindness Dia showed to her closest people just got stronger as the days went.
"I'll take the usual." Dia's voice pulling Riko completely from her musing.
What's the point of looking at the menu, then? Riko thought.
"Understood, manager."
Shortly after the waitress had gone, Dia turned her attention to Riko. "What?" she asked suspiciously when she saw the redhead suddenly smirked at her.
"Oh, no. Nothing. It just hit me that you're the manager here, after all. I should've ordered something more expensive than these drinks," Riko replied, glancing to the cups in front of her.
But Dia shaking her head with a scoff. "Just so you know, you're paying."
"What?" Riko frowned. "But you're the manager!"
"And you're my costumer," Dia asserted calmly. "You pay. Period."
"Stingy," Riko taunted, not trying to hide her disdain at all.
"I'll take that as a compliment."
After some more of Riko's complaints, the earlier waitress brought Dia a large bowl of pudding. Riko moved to Dia's side as soon as the waitress left. "Scoot over, Dia."
"Don't take my pudding," Dia protested, but she still gave a room for Riko.
Riko threw herself to the couch and didn't say anything else as she rested her head on Dia's shoulder. "I won't. I'm just tired," she finally added when she saw Dia wrapped her palms protectively around the bowl of pudding and keep it away from Riko. Glad that side of her doesn't change, Riko thought.
"Then it's fine." Without another word, Dia proceeded to eat her pudding.
"Where have you been, by the way?"
"Awashima Hotel. Mari came home a few days ago and today she needs my help with some things."
"How's she doing?" Riko asked, referring to the last year incident where the blonde broke up with You.
"Not too good," Dia replied as she put down her spoon. "It seems like she still can't come to terms with it, so she distracts herself with works. Working too hard, if I may say so."
"Well, I can relate to her."
"For the better or worse, Ohara's business is more stable than ever right now, as she put all her minds to it."
"I can't really say it worth her happiness with You, though."
"Neither can I, but we're not in the position to say anything."
Riko pursed her lips but Dia was right. "Yeah."
As Dia turned her attention to the pudding again, the silence fell between them and Riko didn't bother to break it. She was a little too tired anyway, and being with Dia somehow calmed her down already.
Riko enjoyed the silence between them, but she knew sooner or later they had to go to her home. At the possibility of meeting Yoshiko, she couldn't say she was ready. She wouldn't be, to be exact. But whether she liked it or not, she had to face them eventually. She promised herself that this was the clean break she needed, after all.
"We're going to my home after you finish the pudding," Riko voiced it out to Dia. Not a request, but more like a condition she imposed to herself so that she wouldn't escape.
Fully understand Riko's intent, Dia nodded, "Whenever you ready."
It didn't take long for them to reach Riko's house. But as both of them was unsure about what to do next, they were still sitting inside the car.
Dia looked at Riko who sat on the passenger seat next to her. "How do you feel?"
"Terrible," Riko grumbled out an answer, face sinking on her palms. "Now I'm regretting all my previous decisions. Why didn't you stop me?"
"Because you did the right thing," Dia encouraged. She released her seat belt before stretching her hand to pat Riko's head. "It's too late to regret it, anyway."
"Yeah," Riko breathed out. She lowered her hands and turned to Dia. "You're with me, right?"
Dia smiled knowingly as she moved her hand to Riko's hand. "You know the answer, don't you?"
Riko turned her palm to grasp Dia's, trying to find strength from it. They stayed in that position for some minutes before Riko reluctantly released Dia's palm from her grasp. "Whatever happens, happens," she said before abruptly got off from the car. Dia followed her soon, but not without taking out Riko's suitcase first.
As if waiting for the cue, a familiar voice called out to Riko almost immediately. "Riko-chan!"
It was Hanamaru, and it seemed like she'd just came back from a convenience store, judging from the plastic bags she brought. The younger girl was still as bright and bubbly as Riko remembered.
"Hanamaru-chan! It's been a long time," she replied, trying to sound as cheerful as she could.
Hanamaru put her groceries with a loud thud and didn't wait to give the older girl a bear hug. "I'm so glad you can come, zura!" she exclaimed in delight. Hanamaru sounded so sincere that the guilts started attacking Riko from the inside. The guilt of liking Yoshiko, the guilt of thinking to skip the wedding, and also the guilt of lying to her.
"Ah, me too," Riko said, trying her best to sound sincere because she felt a lot worse than before.
"Let's come in! I bet the others also want to meet you soon," Hanamaru continued as she yanked Riko's arms, completely oblivious to Riko's inner conflict.
It's only Hanamaru but I've become like this already. How the heck I can talk to Yocchan? Confused and afraid, Riko stammered, "N-No, Hanama-"
Hanamaru didn't hear her though, so Dia quickly butted in. "Hanamaru-san," she said. Her stern tone stopped Hanamaru in her track.
"Dia-chan!" Hanamaru widened her eyes in surprise before laughing. "Oh, how could I forget about you, zura!"
Dia just rolled her eyes and ignored that. "Look, Riko has just arrived," she pointed Riko's suitcase beside her car. "Surely she needs rest, no?"
"Ah, sorry!" Hanamaru said apologetically before letting go of Riko's arms. "It's just Yoshiko and me are so happy that you can come, zura. I bet Yoshiko can't wait to meet you."
"Yeah, I can't wait to meet her either," Riko replied. Her voice didn't come out as strong as she wished it'd be. And the guilt went even deeper.
"We'll go there in afternoon," Dia continued. "Riko isn't used to long trips, so she needs to rest first."
"Okay," Hanamaru nodded before grabbing her forgotten groceries. "I'll make sure Yoshiko-chan won't bother you while you rest, zura," she winked to Riko, before waving and walking away from the pair. "See you two in afternoon then!"
"I feel like crap. How do I hope to meet the other one, then?" Riko grumbled as she waved back to Hanamaru.
"At least you meet Hanamaru-san first before Yoshiko-san. Consider you're lucky."
Riko slumped her shoulder. "I guess I am." After Hanamaru disappeared to Chika's ryokan, she grabbed her suitcase and beckoned Dia to enter her house. "Thanks for saving me," she said, looking at Dia who walked behind her from the corner of her eyes.
Dia smiled. "Anytime."
Two hours of rest was not nearly enough for Riko to feel better. But now that everyone knew she was already home, she had to meet them soon.
"How do I look?" she asked Dia as she stared hole to her reflection in the mirror.
Dia didn't even to look at her to answer. "Beautiful as usual," she said calmly, flipping through the page of the book she was currently reading.
"Yeah, thank you. But that's not what I meant, stupid," Riko pouted, glancing at Dia through the mirror.
"Well, you look just fine," Dia said, eyes still on the book. "I don't know you can hide your feeling that good, by the way."
"I also don't know," Riko blinked. "Crying myself to sleep every night works wonder, I guess," she added uncertainly. "Let's go. Being here for another hour won't do me anything good." She gave her reflection one last glance before she turned to Dia. "And put my doujin away."
"I bought you this one. Technically it's mine," Dia commented as she put the book in Riko's bookshelf.
"Yeah, sure."
Dia curled her lips to the reaction, but it didn't stay. "So, are you ready?" she asked worriedly.
Riko shook her head furiously. "Of course not! But come rain or shine, I'm already doomed anyway," she said resignedly. Dia just nodded.
Riko stared blankly at her door before opened it. I have to end it, anyway.
"What are you waiting for?"
Dia and Riko had already entered Chika's ryokan and were about to enter the room their friends were in when suddenly Riko stopped in her track.
Riko ignored the question and started to calm her nerves by took a deep breath. Dia stared at her confusedly, but didn't say anything. Thinking Riko was just nervous, she'd just wait.
But what her junior did after that made her heart jumped.
Quickly slid the door in front of her, Riko called out in a loud voice, "Yocchan, I need to talk to you. Just the two of us."
It surprised everyone, and it was no wonder why. Riko, who had just arrive in Japan today, who had just entered the room they were in, without even giving a proper greeting to anyone, suddenly said that in a loud voice. Everyone—except Dia—quick to look and put the blame on Yoshiko, given the troublemaker she was. They were half kidding, of course.
Half.
Dia was also surprised, and maybe she was the most surprised person in the room. But her reason was entirely different.
"Yoshiko-chan, what did you do?!" Hanamaru exclaimed in disbelief after a moment.
Chika was quick to follow after her. "Yeah, what did you do to Riko-chan?"
The rest—Leah, Ruby, Kanan—didn't say anything but the look in their eyes said it all.
"Hey! I didn't do anything!" Yoshiko defended herself, sulking.
"Yeah, you didn't. Don't worry," Riko calmed everyone. "I just need to talk." Her voice was even, but everyone could tell the tension in it. Now they were starting to get real worried.
"Really, what did you do?" Hanamaru whispered to Yoshiko, as they saw Riko beckoned Yoshiko to follow her.
"I don't know," Yoshiko shook her head confusedly. "I'll be back," she whispered back before stood up and followed Riko.
Just when Yoshiko went past Dia, Yoshiko caught a glance of her senior expression. It was the mix of hurt, disappointment, but mostly worry. The fallen angel wondered why Dia made such expression, but at the moment Riko was more important.
Riko didn't want to admit it but right now she wasn't sure she could last for a week until the wedding. After talking with Hanamaru two hours ago, she realized that no matter how hard she tried, she couldn't act normal in front of them. Not to mention that it'd exhaust her and hurt her even worse.
If she didn't do anything, if all she did was held back her feeling until the wedding was over, she was afraid that things wouldn't really end for her. She was afraid maybe there would be regrets that left. She was afraid that maybe she would hate Hanamaru or even Yoshiko if she didn't end things properly. After spending the time in her room thinking the best way for everyone, this was the conclusion she got.
I have to let it out.
With all the tears she had shed, she had started moving on, after all. This was just another step. She could do it. She had to do it.
Riko walked to the beach across her house, and Yoshiko followed her from behind. None of them were saying anything; Riko was too busy calming herself while Yoshiko was too busy trying to remember what she did wrong this time.
Just after they arrived, Riko suddenly remembered that this was the place she gave up her love for Chika by confessing. Not fully knowing why she found it funny in the first place, she had to suppress the urge to laugh. Okay, what was wrong with her?
"So," Yoshiko decided to talk first because Riko was too busy thinking about unimportant things. "What did I do wrong this time?" she asked. Her eyes are serious.
"Why are you so sure you did something wrong?" Riko smiled. Not the forced smiles she used almost all day, but a hearty one. She almost forgot how easy it was to talk to Yoshiko.
"I don't know," Yoshiko rubbed her chin. "Because that usually what I do?"
Riko's lips twitched into a smile once more. "Maybe," she said mildly.
"So anyway, what's this about? If I wasn't about to get married tomorrow, I'd say this is a confession," Yoshiko teased.
"It actually is."
"Ah, it i-" Yoshiko paused and quickly looked up at Riko, eyes wide in horror. "Wait, what?"
Riko grinned, though half of it was a lie. "What would you say if I said that?"
Yoshiko stared at the older girl until it sank in. "Oh gosh," she facepalmed. "Why do you love to tease me so much?"
"Because you're easy to tease?"
Yoshiko crossed her arms and her lower lip protruded in her exaggerated attempt to show her pique. Not that it worked though, because Riko just ignored her. The redhead proceeded to sit on the stone wall—the one between the beach and the road—before patted the empty space beside her, beckoning Yoshiko to sit there.
Riko didn't say anything after that, seemingly content with just watching the sunset in silence. Yoshiko was confused, but the air around Riko told her that she had to wait. That's exactly what she did.
After the sun was completely set, Riko opened her mouth. "You know, Yocchan? It's been two years since I moved to LA."
"Yeah, it has."
"Even after two years, there are mornings when I feel empty after waking up by myself in my lonely apartment. At times like those, I always remember the time we spent living together. You, Mari, and I."
Yoshiko squeezed Riko's shoulder to let the older girl knew that she was listening.
"I hate change, Yocchan, I always do. If things didn't change, we'd still be in Aqours. If things didn't change, I'd still be with you in Guilty Kiss. If things didn't change, we'd still be living together."
If things didn't change, my heart wouldn't break this bad.
Riko took a deep breath before continuing. "I feel like something will always taken from me every time things change." Like you.
"That's so dumb, you know," Yoshiko said without holding back at all. "Change is simply inevitable."
Riko let out a strained laugh. "I know, and I learned it the hard way. And if things don't change, you'd still be the wimpy fallen angel and this wedding wouldn't happen."
"Hey!"
"But you change," Riko smiled. She took the hand that squeezed her shoulder with hers and held it on her chest. "You change into a splendid person in a place that I don't see. I'm proud of you."
Riko's soft tone combined with the motherly words somehow made Yoshiko feel melancholic. Tears started to gather in the corner of her eyes. Well, people do say woman tend to cry easily near their wedding day. "Wait, what's this. Why are you so serious?"
"I'm just sad my little sister are going to leave me."
Hearing that, Yoshiko immediately frowned. If this wasn't a serious situation, Riko'd be amazed as to how easy Yoshiko changed her expression and mood. From serious yet funny face, tears, to anger. "Little sister!?" Yoshiko snapped. She brushed Riko's hand aside and stood up. "But you were going to skip this if I didn't beg you to come!"
"Yocchan?" The sudden outburst from Yoshiko baffled Riko.
"Uh, sorry," Yoshiko rubbed her eyes roughly before sitting again. "It's just, I always thought you as my big sister. That's why I was so angry when you just left without telling two years ago. Frankly, I still can't forgive you for that even until now."
"Yocchan..."
"And when you told me you couldn't come to my wedding, I started to think that maybe it was only me who saw you as a sister."
"Are you mad?"
"I'm happy dammit!" Yoshiko tackled Riko with a hug. "I'm so happy that you come! I'm so happy that you see me as your little sister!"
Riko was also happy, she was very happy when she heard Yoshiko's feeling for her. But she had another matter she had to settle right now. If she wanted to be the big sister they wanted, the first thing she had to do was getting rid of the romantic feeling.
Riko wasn't a fan of incest, after all.
Well, Yocchan's outburst is unexpected, but at least I've got my chance. It ends now, Sakurauchi Riko.
"So, Yocchan," Riko said as she hugged the fallen angel back. "About the thing I want to say..."
"Yeah?"
Riko held her breath. "I love you, Yocchan. I love you so much." I love you too much it's hurt.
Obviously couldn't read what was in Riko's heart, Yoshiko replied with, "You're my number one little demon and my big sister, Lily! Of course, I love you too!"
Yeah, that was Riko's plan from the start. She brought up the time of them living together to make Yoshiko think her love was sisterly love. That way she could confess her love without anyone had to hurt.
She knew that was a cowardly way to do it, but she didn't have other choice. Even it the confession only had meanings for her, that didn't matter. If anything, that was the most important thing. It had to have meanings for her and for her only. She didn't need anything else.
Letting herself showed up her feeling for Yoshiko for the last time, she let herself sank into Yoshiko's arms. This time, only for this time, she'd ignore the guilt of taking advantage of Yoshiko's pure sisterly love for her. This was the last time, after all.
"I know, Yocchan, I know."
"Eh? Why are you crying?" Chika widen her eyes in surprise when she saw Yoshiko entered the room with the face full of tears. Riko didn't have it better actually, but she hid it well.
"I'm not! Fallen angels don't cry! It's just-"
But before Yoshiko could start explaining things, Dia grabbed Riko on the wrist and dragged her out to her car. She didn't say anything as she open the car door for Riko and beckoned her to enter. Riko didn't resist at all. Well, she didn't have to, and it actually helped her to stay away from the ryokan for now.
Dia also entered her car impatiently, slightly slammed her door closed. She didn't say anything until they entered the road. "What did you do?" Her tone was the mix of anger and worry. "Don't tell me you conf-"
"I didn't, okay. I wouldn't stoop that low," Riko interrupted. She was a bit offended, but she knew Dia didn't mean any harm. "I just end things for me," she explained while rubbing her eyes, "in a way that doesn't hurt anyone, but also minimize the damage in my heart."
Dia breathed a sigh of relief. "Okay. I'm sorry. I'm just worried."
"Yeah I know," Riko said while feeling glad Dia didn't ask any further. "For now just give me a hug," she demanded after a moment.
"But I'm dri-"
"Hug."
"Oh geez," Dia release a hand from the steering wheel and ruffled Riko's hair. "Don't you know that you're very troublesome?"
"But you love me, don't you?"
Dia sneered, pulling her hand back to the steering wheel. "Yeah."
Riko smiled contently at that. "By the way, where do we go?"
"What?"
Riko raised her eyebrows in confusion. "Well, you're driving a car… Don't tell me you just dragged me out of there without thinking?"
Dia scratched the area around her mole, "Of course not!"
The car soon resounded with Riko's distinctive laugh. "Oh, whatever. Actually, you did me a favor. For now, I don't want to go back there."
"Well, we can go for dinner."
"Good idea," Riko agreed. "But," she took Dia's phone and entered the password before continuing, "you have to explain to everyone why you suddenly dragged me out and went just like that. Right now." She dialed Ruby's number before Dia could say anything.
But Dia just smirked. "Easy."
After her one-sided confession, even though Riko felt a heavy load just lifted from her heart, she still needed time to sort her mind out. Fortunately, Riko didn't need to get too involved with the whole week of wedding preparation, hence she could take her time. Yoshiko and Hanamaru—mostly Hanamaru—had already planned the whole thing long before anyway. If they need helpers, Chika, Kanan, Ruby, and Leah were more than enough.
She spent the whole week sticking with Dia wherever the older girl went. Staying in her home wasn't an option at all, and she preferred not joining the wedding preparation when they didn't really need her involvement. So even if sticking with Dia meant she wouldn't have much to do besides watching Dia worked, she didn't mind at all. Not like she had any other choices anyway.
Although she occasionally had to show up at the Takami's ryokan, every time she did Dia was always made sure herself to present. Aside from being her pillar support, the older girl also could always find reasons to slip them out from there. Riko could never thank her enough for that.
And just like that, suddenly a week had passed. Before she fully realized, she was already strong enough to attend the wedding. The wedding ceremony went as smooth as everyone hoped it'd be, and now it was time for the brides to exchange the wedding vows.
"Tsushima Yoshiko, you'll take Kunikida Hanamaru as your partner. Do you promise to be true to her in good times and in bad, in sickness and in health, and love her and honor her all the days of your life?"
"Yeah, I do."
"Kunikida Hanamaru, you'll take Tsushima Yoshiko as your partner. Do you promise to be true to her in good times and in bad, in sickness and in health, and love her and honor her all the days of your life?"
"I do."
"I now pronounce you partners for life."
After the priest finished the vows, as she saw Yoshiko leaned closer to kiss Hanamaru, as the room suddenly went quiet, Riko knew that things had to change. Her one-sided love, her longing for Yoshiko, and her lingering feelings for the beloved fallen angel, they no longer had a place to belong. More than anything, she also had to change. Not later, not tomorrow, not next week, but she had to start from now—if she didn't already—by wishing all the best from her juniors, no matter how hurt she was now.
But despite all the hurt she felt right now, Riko knew there was a part of her that felt genuinely happy for her juniors. That made her glad, because it told her that she could accept the whole situation just fine if given enough time. She was glad because that meant she would come to terms eventually. She was glad because the scar in her heart wasn't as permanent as she thought it'd be.
The change might wasn't as terrible as she thought.
As soon as the brides' lips met, the silence broke and the room immediately roared with happiness and tears everywhere. But before Riko could process it all, suddenly all she could feel was Dia's arms that wrapped around her. She was a bit confused at first, but it immediately sank in. She was crying.
Thankfully they didn't stand out too much because it wasn't only her who was crying. Ruby was crying a lot harder than she was and now all the guests' attention was on the brides' attempt to calm their best friend.
"Are you okay?" Dia whispered worriedly.
"Mm. Don't worry," Riko whispered back, her voice muffled. Peeking out from below, Riko could see the worried and slightly annoyed expression of her senior. Well, Dia obviously didn't know her tears were mostly happiness and relief, but she didn't need to tell her now. Not when Riko found comfort in the older girl's arms.
"Okay," Dia said, and as Riko expected she didn't release the hug. Rather, she pulled Riko closer and started stroking the younger girl's hair.
Riko mumbled out a gratitude before leaned deeper. As she enjoyed Dia's warmth on her, Riko started to wonder if it was only the time that helped her move on.
Riko was in the middle of talking with Chika when Kanan approached her. "Sorry, Riko-chan. Can you drive Dia home? It seems like she's got a headache. We still have works to do after this," she pointed herself and Chika.
"Really?" Riko immediately stood up from her seat, before squinting her eyes through the room. "Where's she?"
"She just said goodbye to the brides and now she's in the parking lot, I guess."
Riko grabbed her handbag as she said, "Okay, I got it. Tell Yocchan and Hanamaru-chan I'm leaving."
"Got it."
Riko saw many faces that she knew on her way to the parking lot, but she just gave them smiles before beckoning them that she was in hurry. It wasn't long before she reached Dia's car.
"Dia!" Riko found herself almost shouted as she approached the black haired girl. Dia was leaning on the front passenger seat's door, her arms crossed. "Are you okay?"
"I am," Dia replied quickly, before opening the door behind her and signaled Riko to enter.
"Wait, what?" Riko frowned. But Dia didn't say anything in response. Instead, she slightly pushed the redhead to enter the car. "I thought I'd be the one who drives? Kanan-chan said you're sick," she prodded, confusedly entering the car.
"Is that so?" Dia retorted calmly as she closed the door for Riko before entering the car herself. Almost too calm for Riko, to be honest.
"You lied," Riko accused Dia as soon as the older girl sat on the driver seat. "You're not sick," she tapped her feet, waiting for an answer. She couldn't hide the relief in her tone though.
"I did and I'm not," Dia admitted lightly as she waited for Riko to wear her seat belt.
"You're not sick and you're going to drive," Riko repeated, refusing to wear the seat belt until she heard a proper answer.
Dia casually leaned toward Riko and put on the seat belt for the junior as she halfheartedly said, "Hm, yeah. Obviously." After putting her own seat belt, she drove the car away from the Takami's ryokan without saying anything else.
Riko kept staring at the older girl but Dia ignored her and just focusing on the road. It annoyed Riko. "Why are you angry?" she frowned.
"I'm not."
"You are."
"Not."
Seeing Dia's indifferent attitude, Riko could only let out a wry smile. Dia could be so stubborn if she wanted to. Giving up, the redhead leaned her head against the window, enjoying the night view of Uchiura along with the somewhat comfortable silence in the car.
"You're so sweet, you know?" Riko said after minutes of driving, without really looking at Dia. She moved her head from the window and leaned to her seat instead. Her eyes closed.
Dia knew where the conversation headed, but she asked anyway, "What do you mean?"
"Oh, don't play a fool," Riko waved a hand. "You were faking sickness to get me out from there."
"Who knows," Dia said dismissively.
Ignoring that, Riko continued. "But you didn't have to, you know. Now I'm feeling bad for Hanamaru-chan and Yocchan. This is their day, and we left just like that. Especially me, I left without even saying goodbye."
Dia wanted to continue her dismissive attitude, but she failed as her answer was delivered with slightly annoyed tone. "It's their day, indeed. But it doesn't mean you have to feel hurt for them."
"I know. But still, today's their day, Dia. Besides I don't feel that hurt."
Dia's calm facade slowly crumble as she clicked her tongue impatiently. "Look, you don't have to hide it from me."
"But I d-"
"You were crying."
Dia's annoyed tone made Riko opened her eyes. "What?"
Sighing, Dia pulled over her car. After making sure she parked the car well, she released her seat belt and gave Riko her full attention. "You were crying, Riko. You're hurt and I don't want to see that, no matter what the reason is."
Riko was taken aback by Dia's words, and she was lost for words for some moment. Dia didn't move her gaze from her and somehow it made her face a little hot.
"We'll apologize to Hanamaru-san and Yoshiko-san later, but not now. The most important thing for me right now is how you feel," Dia continued, bit back 'seeing you hurt makes me hurt' that she wanted to say. Saying that would practically mean a confession.
"I know it, you're so sweet," Riko giggled as she stretched a hand and pinched Dia's cheek.
"Riko," Dia scowled but not really trying to avoid Riko's hand.
Riko just laughed and pulled her hand. This is the right time to explain things to Dia, so she started talking. "The day I talked to Yocchan, when I said I ended things, I told her I loved her."
"What? But you said-"
"Yeah, I said I didn't confess. Technically, I didn't. I said I loved her, but I know for sure she took it as sisterly love."
Dia tilted her head. "But why did you do that?"
Riko stared at her feet as she explained, "I need something to end my longing for her, Dia. But I couldn't confess, right? I lost my chance long ago. So I just said what I wanted while letting her interpreted it as she wanted. It was a cowardly way of doing it, I know. But I needed it, and it works. The tears you saw today was mostly happy tears."
"Do you expect me to just believe that?"
"I do because I really am fine," Riko reassured. "Even if I still look hurt right now, I think that's okay. I mean, I love her for years, you know? The feeling can't go that fast, but I'm walking the right path." She was tearing up a bit her voice was clear. It didn't try to hide anything.
Dia didn't say anything. Instead, she pulled a handkerchief from her pocket and gave it to Riko. The younger girl took it in silent before wiping her tears as she leaned her head against the window again. Dia back to the steering wheel, preparing to enter the road again.
"Oh, it'd be great if I could just fall in love with you."
Dia turned her so quickly that for a second she thought that her neck could break. "What?"
Riko blushed. "Ah, I'm just kidding!" It seemed like her words before slipped out of her mouth unintentionally. "I mean you're always there when I need you. And you're not seeing anyone, aren't you? Just wondering if it'd be better if I fell for you instea-"
"Riko."
Riko unconsciously straightened her back. "Yes!?"
"Do you know why I cut my hair short?"
Riko couldn't hide her bemused expression at the sudden change of topic but she still answered. "Err, no?"
"Five years ago, my crush who also my junior at high school suddenly come to my apartment in Tokyo. Out of nowhere, she told me that she was in love with another junior of mine. So I cut my hair short to nurse my broken heart. And the only reason I keep my hair short because it's not healing up. This love of mine for her just can't go away, and my heart can't be fixed."
The story was too familiar to Riko, but... That couldn't be her right?
Dia crossed her arms on the steering wheel and buried her head there. Her voice cracked a little but Riko could still hear her clearly. "I'm holding back all this time because she's happy with me being her best friend. I don't mind holding back, as long as she's happy. But if out of nowhere she says something like 'I hope I could just fall in love with you,' I just don't know what to do anymore."
The guilt started to take over Riko as she listened to Dia's story. So Dia was in love with her. That meant all this time she hurt Dia without knowing.
Riko didn't know if she could do that, being a best friend for her crush, solely because seeing the other girl happy was also her happiness. It must be hard for Dia. Suddenly Riko felt an urge to hug the older girl.
"Dia..."
"I'm sorry, okay, for letting this out. I never intend to say this to you but it's just slipped out of my mouth after what you said. We can just-"
"Will you wait?"
Dia raised her head a little, just enough for her eyes to peek at Riko. "… For what?"
Riko stretched her hand and started stroking Dia's hair affectionately. "For me. Right now my mind is still a mess. And I admit that I'm not over Yocchan just yet. It won't be fair for you if I just start going out with you out of pity or pain," she said. Her hand still stroking Dia's hair, trying to give every ounce of warmth she felt in her heart right now. "I want to make it work between the two of us, so I want to go out with you because I really love you, not because of anything else."
"What if I wait for nothing? By the time you are over Yoshiko-san, maybe you'll find another person."
"Oh, I doubt that," Riko giggled. "I already said before. Your long hair suits you so much it's a crime. We'll work on growing it again. Together."
A/N
My LL! The School Idol Movie Blu-ray just came a few days ago. I still cried, like the first time I watched it in cinema. Why.
Also, the newest pair UR... What the heck with that quality. Can't stop screaming. OTP hands down.
Bonus (1)
Kanan knew better than anyone to let the first years together on an important day like this. It was a chaos.
"Ruby stop crying!" Yoshiko shouted.
"Uwaaaaaa!"
Hanamaru hummed, "You made her cry~ You made her cry~"
"What?"
Bonus (2)
Yoshiko pouted. "As expected of Dia. She sees her crush crying and she immediately acted. Not like a certain bride I have."
But Hanamaru brushed that aside. She was more interested in the 'her crush' part. "So Dia-chan likes Riko-chan?"
"Eh? Don't you guys know? Dia had liked Riko since we're in college."
"I kinda suspected it, but I'm not really sure," Kanan chimed in.
"Do you know anything, Ruby?" Leah asked.
"Not really. Onee-chan never really talked about Riko-chan to me. How do you know it, Yoshiko-chan?"
"How? Well, you guys know I lived with Riko and Mari during college, right? Dia often visited us and somehow she let it slipped when- AH!" It seemed like Yoshiko suddenly remembered something as she slapped her forehead. "That's supposed to be a secret!"
"Eh? Don't leave us hanging," Kanan protested.
"Nonono! Dia will kill me and Mari for sure if she knows I let it slips!"