Victor will teach me how to win Grand Prix Final. All I could think about was how happy I was and how much I admired this silverhaired man. My dream... My idol... All of this seemed like an illusion. I have been imagining this all for a long time but now, when it was finally happening, I couldn't believe my eyes. Could I actualy win? With Victor I could fight my lack of confidence and become a better person and skater. Who wouldn't want that?
...
Then why did I feel something's not right? Something was bothering my thoughts. The hug I gave Victor before starting performance when I was competing with Yurio came on the spur of the moment. I did it automaticaly, I didn't think twice and just... did it. Was it a wrong thing to do? I didn't know but since then, or maybe even before that, my heart was beating suspiciously fast and my face reddened slightly while I looked at the man. Should I be worried? I didn't feel anything like that before in my 23 year old life. I was acting strange.
Next day after jogging and few more exercises I saw Victor dancing on the ice rink. Happy three friends (triplets) weren't here. So unusual. He was alone, practicing new moves. I was looking at him hidden behind the ice rink entrance. If Victor doesn't see me, he will not...
*Bathumb*
*Bathumb*
What... My heart speeded up and I felt a blush crawling up the cheeks. Hot. He's so hot. Victor was perfect.
Music stopped. Silverhaired man was breathing heavily. I turned around so I could leave without Russian noticing me. Of course that would be too easy. I hit a bench with my knee and cursed. That hurt!
'Yuri!' man shouted 'what are you doing here, hm?'
-?!
'Ah, I just came to practice but you were…' ...busy – I wanted to add, but Victor interrupted:
'Did you like it?' he asked as he slided closer to me.
'I... saw only a little bit' I bit my lip and smiled nervously.
'Oh, is that so. Have you just finished your jog?'
'Yeah.' Slow down heart. Cool down.
'Your face is quite red. Are you tired, or is that a fever, piggy?'
Maybe it was it? Symptoms are quite characteristic.
'I dunno.' I touched my forehead. 'Seems okay?'
'Let me check.'
*Bathumb*
Dangerous.
'I-I'm alright…!'
'Hmm.'
Ah. Right.
'Hey, don't call me piggy! I'm not that fat anymore. Take your time here, I'm gonna do some stretching outside.'
'Yuuuri. Don't be mad. Don't you wanna dance together?'
*wink*
Did he just wink… Oh God. My heart skipped a beat. Calm down. I was happy with this offering but could I do it? Can I and Victor...?
'I-I c-can try.'
I was a mess but put on the skates anyway.
Music was on again as I stepped into the ice rink. I made a few circles to warm up and feel the music. Victor was watching. It made me even more excited but I still pretended not to be and not to care.
Russian waved to summon me and so I followed.
'Let's start...' said Victor while he chose the next song. It was slower than the last one he was dancing to. More... Sensual. Did he do it on purpose? 'First... Feel it. The story...'
He was standing right beside me. So close.
'Uhm...' I closed my eyes and listen 'I think it's sad one... Sound like unreciprocated love...'
Love… Maybe... That's what I felt. That was... Hah… Katsudon was never my eros. Victor was. I lifted eyelids. That man was still there watching me. Close but not close enough.
Dance. You can do it.
I was running away from him, but kept coming back as if I just coudn't leave after all. Was that this feeling named desire? The music was so lewd but that was okay. I could do what I wanted. What I truly felt was right. This song has awaken the side of me I didn't know I had. At the end I got closer. I stopped and while staring at Victor I touched his cheek. My cold hand met his warm face.
Then I felt it. Victor's palms on my own cheeks. My eyes widened and my breath hitched. Shh… Victor will notice. He's gonna find out what was going on in my chest.
He lowered his head and touched my forehead with his own. Then lowered it even more so our noses connected.
Silent 'Ah...' left my mouth.
I turned my head. My heart was definitely going to explode and my face was so red and hot I could fry eggs on it. Victor smiled. But it was a smile full of sadness and yearning. Maybe I shouldn't do it.
'I-...' boy, I was doomed. Words weren't coming out of my mouth.
'Should we dance to something else maybe?'
'I think I need to jog some more... I... Sorry...!'
Coward. I was such a…!
I left the ice rink with blush on my face. That was so wrong thing to do. Maybe I should have stayed? If I did... Right, if I did that, maybe we could...
Aaaggh!
I have to change to my boots and get the hell out of here. This atmosphere is driving my crazy. Was it all part of performance? Was it all an act? If it was so, then Victor really was the most talented skater (and womanizer) in the world.