"Always the Last Place You Look"
"I did not sign up for this," Nick Fury said, and he sighed. "Okay. In a line, no pushing, no shoving, no maiming. Let's just get this over with."
"And I'll be watching," Steve said, narrowing his eyes as he stood at the head of the hospital bed. Machines kept Bucky fed and hydrated. The sole thing wrong with him was the magical coma, and that could only be broken with true love's kiss. Thor's mother hadn't been able to do anything about it, other than diagnose the damage Loki had done.
"Rogers, we have to go through everyone on base," Nick said. "Without bias. Wouldn't you prefer to eliminate all SHIELD employees before outing this problem to the world, in hopes of finding the right person? Do you know how many people are out there?"
Steve's lips were white as he pursed them. "I'd rather we didn't have to go through this at all."
"Barnes is going to have pash-rash by the time he wakes up," Tony muttered to Clint. The archer snickered, but he stopped when he saw Steve's scowl.
"Do you want him to stay hooked up for who knows how long, just because you're uncomfortable with watching people kiss your best friend?" Nick asked. Steve shook his head. "Then stop giving everyone the death glare, and try to be supportive. They're under orders, and you're not making it any easier."
"I'm still guarding him."
"No one's gonna say otherwise, Cap."
The Avengers went first. Steve had already tried, and so had Thor before he went off in pursuit of Loki. Frigga had assured him that it only had to be a peck on the lips, and the memos sent around SHIELD stressed this point. Steve wasn't going to let anyone take advantage of his vulnerable friend, even though Bucky would have loved this if he was awake.
His heart grew heavier with each person that passed, unable to stir Bucky at all. No one dared to linger, with Steve's piercing gaze upon their faces. He didn't mean to be off-putting; but he knew that Bucky would do the same for him.
Every twenty minutes, they would stop so that Steve could apply salve to Bucky's lips, to stave off chaffing. It was during the third break that Frigga dropped in on them.
"His true love has not yet been found," she said. Steve shook his head, and she touched his shoulder. "I will stay awhile, if I may."
"Of course, your highness," he said, turning around. Phil was already offering her a chair, and she sank regally onto the surface that he cushioned with his folded jacket.
Eventually, they ran out of people, including those from other local branches of SHIELD.
"We'll come back to this tomorrow," Nick said, clapping Steve on the back. "Get some people from inter-state."
"This isn't fair," Steve said, gripping the rail on the side of the bed. "For decades he's had people using him while he was brainwashed, about as conscious as he is now." He sighed, then glanced around at Nick, puzzled. "Have you tried, director?"
Nick looked taken aback, or at least as taken aback as he ever looked. "No."
"Then try. Please."
"Of course."
Steve hoped, just for a few seconds, as Nick bent over and pressed his lips against Bucky's. No reaction, and that hope died. If it wasn't for the presence of royalty in the room, he would've slumped.
"Did you try, Phil?"
"No, director."
"Then go ahead."
"…Sir, it wouldn't be app—" Steve glanced at Phil, who stuttered to a halt, and sighed. "Very well."
"Last one for the day, Coulson," Steve said, trying not to sound bitter. It was hard, knowing that even more strangers would be doing this tomorrow, maybe for days to come. And if it wasn't anyone at SHIELD…
Nevertheless, he observed – out of habit by now – as Phil leaned down. He paused, inches away from Bucky's lips, eyes flickering all over his face. He looked so nervous and reluctant that Steve almost called it off, just to save Phil from whatever he was worried about.
But then he heard it.
"I'm sorry," Phil whispered. Only Steve's super soldier hearing picked up on it. But then Phil's eyes were closing, and he was leaning down…
And his lips barely brushed against Bucky's before he began to pull away. Steve couldn't believe it, and he almost demanded that Phil do a better job. It was soon made clear that that wasn't necessary.
Bucky's eyes sprang open, and Phil nearly jumped back. Before he could get very far, the soldier's hand clamped down on his wrist and held him there.
"Coulson?" he said, voice raspy. "It's you?"
"I…"
"I heard it all."
"You heard it all?"
"Everything."
"…Oh. Listen, Barnes, I'm sorry—"
"That you're my true love?"
Phil opened his mouth, then shut it, then opened it again. Bucky watched him patiently; they all did.
"Well, no," Phil eventually said. "I'm not sorry about that. I wanted it to be true, wanted you ever since you made me chocolate pancakes on my birthday. But I didn't suppose…"
Bucky smiled, and stroked Phil's hair back behind his left ear.
"And yet it's true," he said. "Feeling a bit tired, though. Maybe you didn't kiss me long enough?"
"Is that an invitation?"
"If it is, I'm out of here," Steve said, feeling truly uncomfortable now. Quick kisses were one thing; full-on making out was altogether different, and he didn't need to see his friend doing it, especially with their handler. "I'll make sure the medical staff know to knock before they enter the room. They need to disconnect the, uh, the cords, so…" He gestured vaguely to the machines, before dropping his hand. "Yeah. Uh, congratulations, you two. I'm happy for you. Just… no PDA in front of me. I've seen more than enough for a lifetime today."
"You're still coming in tomorrow, Coulson," Nick said as he strode past Steve to the door. "Your majesty?"
"Thank you," Frigga said. "I grant you both a goddess's blessing of a long, happy life together." Then she smiled sweetly, and glided out the door Nick held open for her. The director followed, and Steve went to exit as well. He paused at the last second, and turned around again.
"Try to wait `til you get home, okay?" he asked. "There are people still recovering in nearby rooms." Then he grimaced, although the look smoothed out at Phil's joyful expression as he sank into Bucky's caring embrace.
Until their lips met, and Steve left, shutting the door firmly behind him. There were some things a best friend did not need to see.
Another prompt filled! This is from the latest round of the Kink Meme. One of the requests was to avoid any of the popular ships, and a bonus suggested several pairings, including this one. I've been thinking about pairing Phil with Bucky, even just once, even just crack. Meh.
So what did you think?