Disclaimer: I do not own Dragonball Z, nor do I own any of its characters. All characters are owned by Akira Toriyama. There, now I won't get sued….
NOTE: This is a repost from an old account. I lost all the data on my old account and wanted to put this back up. I will be finishing this story finally and I will probably be rewriting bits, so if you've read it before, might be a little different. Oh and I know my grammar tenses don't always match. I'm trying to show that she's insane, thanks much.
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Chapter One
One Wish
Something was wrong. I knew it the second I stepped into the night air. The moon was reaching its zenith and the ground was sparkling with frost, but something, something, was wrong. Terribly wrong. I felt it with every fiber of my being. I knew something had happened to him. My one joy. My one treasure. Something, something had happened to my husband.
I walked slowly across the ground. You were there… in front of me. You looked so peaceful. Like you had fallen into an enchanted sleep. Your black hair, stubborn as you, stubborn as always, stood on end, as you lay there motionless, pale as the silk cushions lining the box. Now I'm beside you. My hand is linked with yours.
The priest is saying something; I don't hear him. Our son. I see him. He stands beside my mother and father. He is sad, but I don't understand why. He's holding back tears. Why? Why does he grieve? My mother puts a hand on his shoulder and his tears flow. Now the baby cries as my mother holds her. Our daughter. She is but an infant…
Our friends… they are here to, you know. They are here, why do you not greet them? The tall one is here, to fight, I know it. That's all you two ever did. Went into the backyard to spar. Do you not wish to fight today? Are you ill? His wife is here as well. She keeps giving me looks of sympathy, but I can't remember why everyone is so upset. For you, my dear prince, are only sleeping. When you awake perhaps you will tell me of your dream. Perhaps you will show them all that you are not ill. You will show them that you are fine. You will show them and we will be happy to have you home. We will throw a big party just because we can.
Yes, that's what we will do.
But, tell me, my dear, why are you so cold? Your hand is ice… And why is it that you do not answer me? Are you angry with me? Have I wronged you? Have I said something to hurt you? Or is it that you do not hear me? Have you slipped into a sleep that only true love's kiss can awaken you?
I smile and lean to kiss your finely chiseled mouth, but why do you not stir? Oh, sweet prince, why do you not breathe?
Now I remember. The trip to the hospital. The morgue. They had pulled the cover back and there you lay. I had not cried. I had only stood there blinking as my mother spoke with the doctor. Only stood there wondering why you did not look at me. Why you did not turn and smile like you do when no one is looking. I hear them talking about aneurisms and painless, but I don't understand any of it.
Men are closing the lid. They usher me away, but I'm not ready! I scream for them to leave us alone, but they won't go away. They won't leave me be. They close the lid to the box where you lie. Can you breathe in there, my love? I can't see you anymore… where are you? Why have you left me all alone?
The tall man, the one you fight with, is taking me away from you… I'm trying to stop him, but he is too strong. He holds my arms firmly. The woman, his wife, she is murmuring to me, trying to calm me, but I'm crying. They were my friends , how could they do this to me? How could they separate us like this?
The priest makes a cross with his hand and closes his big book. The box is lowering. Where are you going? Why are they putting you in that hole? They say a few more final words, our son and daughter are dropping flowers in the hole after you. People are leaving. They are leaving Vegeta! Come out and see them off! But you don't come out. They leave. Goku, the tall man, he is trying to lead me away, but I won't allow it. Men in jumpsuits begin pouring dirt over your box. I try to stop them, but they don't listen.
"Stop," I say, but they ignore me. "He won't be able to get out!" I scream, but still they bury the box that holds you.
Tears are stinging my cheeks now. It's cold. My heart freezes with the ground. Snow begins to fall. I don't know how long it took, but Goku held me. He wouldn't let me save you, and I wouldn't let him make me leave. So, we stood there. We stood there until the men finished filling the hole. Until they left. Then I sobbed louder than I ever had in my life. I ran to the mound where you had once been. I tore at the dirt, clawed and clawed, dug and scraped, but my fingers were cold and aching. Goku and Chichi and Goten and Gohan. They stood there. They stood there watching me beside my father and my mother and Trunks. They all stood there! They didn't help! They wouldn't help!
And so I sat there. Sat there on the cold ground beside you, with you, crying and rocking myself back and forth. I sang that song Vegeta… You remember the one from our wedding. The one that you had played for me countless times on countless anniversaries… How did it go? I hum it softly, the words echoing through my mind:
How will I start,
Tomorrow without you here?
Who's heart will guide me,
When all the answers disappear?
Is it too late,
Are you to far gone to stay?
Is this forever?
You should never have to go away.
What will I do?
You know I'm only half without you.
How will I make it through?
If only tears could bring you back to me,
If only love could find a way…
What I would do,
What I would give if you,
Return to me,
S, someday, somehow, someway…
If my tears could bring you back,
To me…
I-I'd cry you an…
But that's all I can sing. That's all I can manage. My throat seals itself off and then more tears come. They flow freely; I can't stop them, and I don't want to. A hand settles on my shoulder. Yamcha. There is pity on his face and I know that he believes you are dead. They all do. All of them believe you are nothing. Nothing but a corpse, an empty, lifeless shell, but I know better… I know you are still with me. They are all traitors! All of them… Mom, Dad, Trunks… all of them…
I am being carried away. I am wrapped in Chichi's shawl and Goku is carrying me. He is carrying me in his big strong arms, is carrying me to the house, away from you. I am sorry. I whisper to you. I know I should have fought him, told him to leave us alone, but I can't find my voice. I can't find my energy, I can't find my heart… I can't find you…
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Two weeks have passed, but I still haven't awaken from this horrible nightmare. Everyone still believes you are dead. I tell them you are fine, but they don't believe me! I am trying, Vegeta, trying, tried so many times to convince, they won't listen! I thought maybe they would help me free you from that prison, but no one would listen. They wouldn't listen… They just stood there nodding sympathetically… stood there and frowned. Trunks had nearly burst into tears when I told him, I still don't know why…
I woke up this morning and tried to find you, but you weren't in bed. I heard the shower going and got up to see if you were in it, but when I got to the bathroom, the water had not been running. I went down stairs, thinking maybe you were eating breakfast, but you weren't there. Where is Vegeta? I asked and everyone stared at me. I went to the gravity chamber, but you weren't there either.
I was walking back to the house and I thought I saw you. Saw you standing there, waiting for me, smiling your little smile, just waiting for me… I ran to hug you, to tell you what everyone had said, but when I threw my arms around you, you weren't there. My arms went right through you…
That was when I had realized. When I had remembered. You were gone. You were really truly gone… And you had left me here alone… So alone, Vegeta, so terribly alone. Why?
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I step into the night air. I walk over to your resting place. To where you sleep. My cloak is wrapped tightly around me, protecting me against the night air. Protecting me from the harsh winter. A year you have been gone. A year this night and I am crying.
I lay flowers on your grave. The same kind you had been buying when you died, my favorite, red roses. I remember that day. I had been sad because you hadn't been home on time for our anniversary. I had been mad. But then I had been worried. I thought maybe you didn't love me. Maybe this was your way of telling me so. Then the phone call had come.
We went to the hospital, I saw your body, but I didn't accept it. You couldn't be dead. Not my precious prince… it just wasn't true. They had said the woman who had called the police had been selling you these flowers. She said that you had told her they were for someone very special, your wife. The doctor had given me the flowers… I still have them. They are dead now… dead--. Dead like you. They sit in my room, our room, above my bed, our bed. Sitting there, undisturbed. I still have the card you wrote, the one with the line that the pen had created as you fell. As you died. It read:
To my beautiful wife,
I love you.
Vege---
But then there is no more. Just a line that carries across the page when you had fallen, when you had died… Tell me, Vegeta… Did it hurt? Did you feel pain when you died? Had you suffered at all? Or had you died happy? Had you died the way you had felt? Had you died celebrating our anniversary? That's what the doctors had said… They said it had been painless… But I don't know… don't know if I believe them.
I pull out the knife. I had gotten it from the kitchen, I had had to pick the lock my mother has put on all places where sharp objects are held. She knew I would do this. She knew that I would want to join you in that place, join you where you rest… But she didn't know I could pick locks. She didn't know that I would even attempt it.
"I am coming to you, Vegeta," I whisper. The knife drags across my skin. The wound bleeds almost instantly. I drag it from my wrist vertically down to the middle of my forearm. The skin rolls back along the slit as it bleeds horribly. The pain is terrible, but I am smiling. Soon, I say, Soon, I will be with you. Soon we can be happy.
"Bulma?" a voice calls. I turn around as Goku turns on the lights to the backyard. He is at my side in an instant. I try to move away, but he grabs my arm. His eyes are wide as he looks at the cut and the knife in arm, "What have you done?"
But I don't answer him. I just smile. Just smile as I fall backwards in the snow on your grave, unconsciousness taking me over.
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I awoke in the hospital a week later. My head is numb and I know what must have happened. Goku. He interfered. He stopped the bleeding, stopped my death. He must have taken me to the hospital. Gotten me a doctor, gotten me help. My arm, it's stitched up. IV's are in my wrist and the heart monitor is beating steadily.
Trunks and Bra are lying in bed with me, asleep beside me. Goku is in the hall with Chichi and my parents. They are speaking to the doctor. They are speaking to him about me. I know they think I am insane… they are probably right… but I don't care. I don't want to live this life anymore. Not without you.
Goku looks through the window and sees me, sees me staring at him. He looks worried, concerned. He has been my friend for a long time and I know that he doesn't want to see me hurt, but I can't help it. I know they would all miss me, but I don't want to be here. Don't want to be without my prince…
"Good morning, Bulma." my mother says as she and the others come in. I look away. I didn't want to face those blue eyes that mirror my own, but they do not carry the same sadness of mine. They carry love and concern. But I don't care. If they all loved me so much then they'd let me go with you. They wouldn't hold me to this cold, cruel existence. Wouldn't force me to eat, to sleep, and to carry on.
"How are we this morning, Bulma?" Chichi asks quietly.
I look at her and shoot an angry glance at Goku, "I don't know, how the hell do I look?"
They are quiet a moment. Then the doctor says that I can leave in a couple days and until then, if they so choose, someone can stay the nights here with me.
"I don't want anyone here," I snap as Goku tries to volunteer, "All I want is my husband."
Now Chichi is mad. I can see it in her face. She is livid with me, but what do I care? She begins screaming, "Wake up, Bulma! Vegeta is dead! He is gone! He can't come back and he isn't going to come back!"
We stare at each other, and my glare must have been more deadly than hers because she instantly backed away mumbling apologies.
"Bulma," Goku says softly. He walks towards the bed and I turn away from him. He places a hand on my arm, "I know this must be hard for you, but you have to get over this. Chichi is right. Vegeta is gone, and there is nothing we can do about it."
"You stay away from me," I hiss vehemently, "All of you. I don't want to hear from any of you ever again! I hate you!"
Of course, by now both of the children were awake. Bra looking around not understanding and Trunks looking at me with hurt eyes. But I can't look at him. He looks too much like you, Vegeta… Too much like my prince.
Everyone is silent and even the doctor looks as though he is speechless. He ushers everyone out of the room except my mother and father.
"Bulma?"
"Humph."
"Are you sure?" my mother asks sadly, "Are you sure that's what you want?"
I know that it isn't and I shake my head, "I love you all very much, but right now, I just don't care. It isn't your fault, but I just can't bring myself to care about anything else."
My mother nods and leaves the room. She stands outside my room and cries. Chichi hugs her.
"I thought this might happen," my father said pulling a small box out of his large lab coat pocket, "Here."
I take the box and unwrap the blue wrapping paper. Inside is a box, which I open to find a picture frame. It's a picture of you. A tear slides down my cheek as I hug the frame to my heart and close my eyes. My father did this. He gave me back my prince.
"Thank you, daddy," I whisper and he knows that is the best he will get out of me. He kisses me on the forehead and leaves.
I look at the picture. You are smiling at me. Smiling with those dark eyes full of mystery and intrigue. I loved it when you smiled. Vegeta, although you rarely did so, you smiled with your whole face. Smiled with your heart shining through your eyes. Smiled until you melted my heart.
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When I got back home, I went straight out to your grave in the backyard. The knife was still there as well as the blood in the snow. Goku stood beside me, shifting awkwardly as I placed a new flower on the tombstone. He and Chichi had moved in with Gohan and Goten temporarily. Videl had even agreed to stay. Everyone was worried about me; even Piccolo had come to check on me. They all act like I'm a fragile doll, Vegeta. They think I will break at any moment…
I stare at your grave for a long time, you know. I even look out at it from my window for the times my 'jailors' decide I'm not aloud out. Father's taken over the company again until I'm back to my old self, but its no use… I'll never be back to my old self… You are my old self. If a person's heart is cut out of them, do they not die? Then how is it that they expect me to carry on? You are my heart, Vegeta. You. No one else has ever had it and no one will ever have it again. When they buried you, they buried it as well. My heart was stolen from me that day, Vegeta… It was ripped from my chest and now I'm dying, slowly rotting away… slowly disappearing from their grasp…
I know I should try to hold on for Trunks's and Bra's sake, but I can't find the courage to. I can't find it in me, can't find any reason to find it. I know I said that I should try, but that doesn't mean I can, or that I will…
Damn it, Vegeta! Why? Why did you leave me here like this? Why? It's been a year now… but I still don't understand it. I still wake up and wonder why you aren't beside me, wondering why you aren't eating breakfast with me, wondering where you are. But then I remember. You are still beneath the earth, still in your box.
Goku touches my arm softly and I know that he wants me to go inside. I look up at him and he nods. I allow him to put an arm over my shoulder and lead me away, for I know that I will be back tomorrow, and the next day, and the next day, for as long as I live, and I pray softly to Kami that won't be long…
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I'm sitting on your tombstone, Vegeta. Inside the house a party is taking place, my party, but I'm not celebrating. They still act like I can't take care of myself, like I will fall into pieces, shatter at any given moment…
It's my birthday, Vegeta. My birthday, the day I can wish for anything I want…anything. Memories are flashing through my brain…memories of past birthdays…My first birthday as your wife…this is my first celebrated birthday as a widow. Last year…I had not celebrated last year…I hadn't had the heart to celebrate…but now…
I look up at the stars and watch the twinkling lights. A shooting stars streaks across the sky.
"Make a wish…" a voice whispers in my head, but, why? It won't come true. I only have one wish. One wish.
I close my eyes tightly and whisper my wish to the night, to the stars, to you. The star disappears and still I sit wish… I wish with all I have in me. What's left of my heart and soul. Someone calls my name from the back door, but I do not open my eyes.
"One wish," I whisper, "That's all I have, all I want… One wish."
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