Lily is just waddling about in the upstairs hallway, until she notices a big shiny coin on the ground not too far from the stairs. She goes up to it and picks it up to see that it's a medal, only to get a split-second glance of Lynn before she hit the baby with her lucky baseball bat with all her might and force. Lily careens down the stairs, bumping onto every step on the way down, until she finally lands and starts crying from the pain.

"Today... is not your lucky day! YOU! TOUCHED! MY! MEDAL!" Lynn bellowed. Lily tries to limp away from her wrath, until Lynn pounced onto her and slammed her body against the wall. "So, you like touching people's medals, huh?! Well, I'll show you!" She then proceeds to slam Lily's body into the wall like a sledgehammer several times until she chucks her into the back of the living room recliner.

"You know, now I'm in the mood to shoot some hoops." Lynn scans the living room until she sees a basketball hoop above her on the entryway to the dinner table. With a sinister grin, "Perfect." Looking back at her baby sister with that same expression, she grabs her by the shoulders. "Come here! It's slam dunk time!" She leaps all the way up to the hoop and throws Lily straight down through it. The baby ends up with a major concussion and severely sprained marks on her elbows and knees.

"Now that's what I call a SLAM DUNK!" Lynn exclaims. "And don't you move even one muscle. I'll be right back." She goes over to the couch where many different pieces of sporting equipment capable of bodily harm were laying. "Hmm... Which one, which one? There's so many of these, but so little time."

She walks across the lot, until she comes across a croquet ball, and gets a dark idea. "Oooh." Glancing back at Lily, who's struggling to get back up from the slam dunk, Lynn throws the ball at Lily, leaving part of her face caved in. "Bullseye! Now, what else can I do to her?" Lynn sets her sights on a fencing sword. "Hey, I can leave some marks on her stupid face. That'll teach her." She walks over to the baby and leaves distinguishable red slashes across her body, leaving her in a never-ending amount of tears.

"Alright, I'm thinking golf club next," Lynn says, as she picks one up from the couch. As Lily's sniffling, Lynn towers above her. "Take this, you little abomination!" Lynn proceeds to beat the life out of her youngest sister, while she yells from each hit, with said golf club, until Lincoln comes into the scene. "Whoa, whoa! Lynn! What are you doing?!"

Lynn replies, while pointing at the battered baby, "She's been a bad baby, Linc! She needs some spankings!" "Wait, wait. She needs some spankings?", he questions. "Yes, she does!", Lynn confirms. Then, LIncoln turns to the viewers with malicious intent written all over his face. A few seconds later, Lynn sets Lily onto the couch, and rips her diaper off, exposing her bare behind. "Yeah, I've been waiting for this for a long time," comments Lincoln. "Go and get 'er, bro."

"Don't have to ask me twice." With that in mind, Lincoln pulls out a large paddle and begins to make the baby's behind as red as a tomato. Several minutes of this torture later, and Lynn asks Lily, "You had enough yet?" Lily nods. "She's had enough, Linc." However, he continues to spank Lily several more times.

Then, Lincoln brainstorms with Lynn on what to do to Lily next. "Alright, what should we do next?", he questions. "I know! Let's take a burlap sack, fill it up with several bowling balls, and beat the [BLEEP] out of her." "You know, I like that plan. I really like that." "I'll be right back."

Lynn comes back with a bulky sack. "Alright, hold the baby down!" As LIncoln does just that, she strikes Lily repeatedly, with each hit bouncing her upwards from the collision. "Alright, I know what to do with her next." Lincoln grabs Lily by her torso and goes over to the front door and opens it, as he slams the door on her head, gushing out gore from each hit.

He then punts Lily over to the fish tank in the other room. Lynn climbs up onto the bookcase in her lucha libre costume. "Now, time to pull off the Super Duper Ultra Omega Triple Deluxe... BODY SLAM!" She smacks her elbow twice, and leaps off the bookcase and flattens Lily into a human pancake when she finally lands on the ground.

"That was the best wrestling move I've ever seen seen!" a complimenting Lincoln says to Lynn. "Now there's just the problem of disposing the flat scraps." "Let's nuke the little pest in the microwave!" "OK! Fine by me," Linc replies. The two stuff the mutilated baby into the microwave and sets it to the highest temperature and put it on baked potato mode. They then watch as Lily explodes inside of the microwave, leaving barely recognizable remnants.

"That's what you deserve, you little [BLEEP]!" "Yeah, that's exactly what you deserve!"

20 minutes later, while upstairs, LIncoln asks Lynn, "Why exactly did we do all of that stuff to Lily again?" "Oh, that. It's very simple, bro. Super simple. She touched my Olympic medal," she replies and points out the laden medal on the floor. "Oh yeah. No one's ever supposed to touch any of your medals." "Yeah, no one! Well, see ya later, Linc." says Lynn, as she picks up her medal. "Alright, see ya, Lynn." The two then go their separate ways for the day.

THE END