Author's Note: to be honest, I was going to put this on my blog, since I know that the Haruka game fandom for the English fans are quite small. However, due to the size limit on life journal, and the length of my story, I know that if I do it on my blog, it is going to be driving me crazy due to how I have to break my chapters apart. And hey, why not? It would make it so much easier to read.

I am quite proud of my Haruka 3 fan fiction. I must admit, I am quite anti-Nozomi due to the way that she has been portrayed in the anime/OVA/drama CD, so there are some negative comments in regard to her.

This fan fiction actually focuses on two couple: KagetokixOC (Tamako) and YasuhiraxOC (Rurihime).

I actually didn't really elaborate on the detail, because I figure that if you are a player of the Haruka 3 games and actually made it all the way here, you'll probably understand without the elaboration. The story is actually all finished, and I just need to upload it.

Disclaimer: I do not own anything. The songs at the beginning of each chapters are the songs from the series.

Prologue

"This heart of ice, how deep is it?

I lock away the days of my memory, so no one may touch it

The door of my heart will never be melted

That distant season with laughter

Shall sleep forever"

~ 黒き氷塊の楼閣

The temple was rather plain and small with little reason to attract visitors. However, the temple was clearly well looked after and the people knew that to damage it would result in a very severe punishment. A riot once caused harm to it and if their ruler was not so rational, then the punishment would have been very harsh as he was clearly very angry.

However, the usually rather aloof temple received a few visitors today- including two who came all the way from Kyo.

But then, today was the death of the woman buried in the temple, the woman whom this temple had been built for. The ones who knew this date would come here, even though the number was quite small.

She was once the wife of the current ruler, but she had been his wife before he became the ruler. He then remarried and it was very easy for most people to forget about her. After all, four years was not that long, especially when she was often seen as being different.

But for the dismounting woman, the one buried here was extremely important to her.

"Kagetoki, thank you for coming with me." Tamako said to her husband again. "I know that you don't really want to come to Hiraizumi."

"I don't think I am completely forgiven." Kagetoki told her honestly. Since it was Tamako, he would tell her the truth.

"It no longer matters!" some one else was already there, and he was immediately greeted by a warm clasp by his best friend and his very good friend.

"Is our daughter, your daughter-in-law well?" Tamako asked with a friendly smile. "And is Saku-chan and Kokuryuu-dono well?"

"They are all very well. But Kagetoki, you can visit whenever you like. Now that everything is peaceful, no one will bother with old grudges." Kunihira said once again.

"If the people of Hiraizumi are all like you then it will be well." Tamako laughed out. "But it is not because of that alone. Travelling is quite costly, and Kyo is quite far."

"Which you should know quite well, Kunihira. You were the one who travelled the furthest! Kamakura and Izu were both much nearer. I remember how much you complained once!" Kagetoki laughed as well. "But these days…they were happy despite all the lessons."

"The days where the three of us were in Kyo all these years ago…they were good days." Kunihira said in agreement. For him, the memories were almost completely happy because that was mostly before he had been tormented by falling in love with the fiancée of his best friend.

"But I am really glad that these days are no longer just a memory." Kunihira said before he turned to Tamako once more. "Do I still have your forgiveness?"

"It has been two decades…that is good enough for me." Tamako assured him. "But Kunihira, I am surprised that your wife…that Iwako-dono is so understanding. She is a much better wife then I can ever be. Be grateful at your fortune."

"I am not as foolish as I once was, especially after what happened to my brother."

At this, the cheerful air of the three friends meeting again finally disappeared.

"…this temple is clearly well tended to." Kagetoki commented.

"The fact that he built this temple is an indication." Tamako admitted. "However…that child would have been so much happier had he just paid more attention to her."

"Tamako, my brother is very different from Kagetoki and I." Kunihira pointed out. "He is very different from Kurou as well. However, she had been happy in that brief time after the war, as he did realise that she was important to him."

"I know…and I know that she would be happy at seeing all this but I…" Tamako broke off slightly as her words become slightly muffled. "I feel that she deserved so much more!"

Due to Kunihira's insistence, the two visitors to Hiraizumi decided to stay for a few days. Some did make a comment or two, but the event of two decades ago were too distant to be of interest to most people.

"Kagetoki, it is good to see you again." Kurou immediately said. "Nozomi and Saku-dono would be right here with your daughter."

"Kagetoki-san, Tamako-san!" Yuzuru greeted them with an equal enthusiasm, which was a bit unusual from him. However, he regard the man as one of the kindest and nicest person while the latter had helped him with what he felt for his senpai along with her husband then.

In fact, Yuzuru thought that the three friend's story was a slight parallel to his relationship with his brother and senpai. Although the story differed as it was Kurou that his senpai was with. However, he could understand why being able to talk so freely like that was very relieving.

"Aniue, Tamako-dono, is everything well in Kyo?" Saku asked. Even though she and Kokuryuu has been reunited and has been together for two decades, many still complain that it was extremely embarrassing to be in the same room alone with them.

"Kyo is well, but what of Hiraizumi? I don't really know what is happening that much now, since Tamako and I are completely uninvolved in politics." Kagetoki said, although this was a slight exaggeration. Even though he had no involvement with politics, he was not ignorant at all.

"Yasuhira-dono is a very good ruler as Hiraizumi is doing very well. While it is true that it is not as independent as it was due to aniue." Unlike before, Kurou's voice was no longer upset at the reference of his brother. "It is still fairly independent, like Kumano."

"Which Hinoe is very proud to boast of, although I think he is the only one who cares for the competition between him and Yasuhira-dono." Benkei said with a smile. "I do not think that Yasuhira-dono even knows of such a thing."

"Are the Heike still living in that island?" Kagetoki continued. "Is Masaomi-kun still well?"

Everything was peaceful and this had been the result of much hard work. However, there were also many sacrifices and not everything was restored. Despite the current state, there were subtle reminders of the harm that had been done during that period.

Such as that temple.

The door was slid open again and the woman that entered was the second wife of the ruler. She was certainly very different from the little princess from Kyo who dreamt of love. Not only was she much older when she married Yasuhira, she had only seen the marriage as a necessary alliance. (1)

As a result, she and her husband were pleased with one another without being imitate.

"Welcome to our house again, Kagetoki-dono and Tamako-dono." She gave the welcome politely because even though it was not the first time the two was here, it had been a while since their last visit.

"I am sorry to inform you that my husband will not be joining us for dinner." She continued, and her eyes locked with Tamako's. "After all, he will be slightly occupied today."

The other immediately nodded in understanding. After all, it was these small gestures that betrayed his feelings.

"But is Yoshihira-dono well?" Tamako asked. "It is hard to believe that he was once a little boy that I used to hold in my arms."

"Yoshihira-dono has become a very fine young man although I fear that you would only get to see him tomorrow. I believe that my husband's business requires his eldest son."

"Even though- " Nozomi was just going to protest when Tamako interrupted her. "I perfectly understand and I rather him attending to that then being interrupted and greeting me."

There could only be one reason and to Tamako, the person who would cause these absences naturally deserved first priority.

Some distance away from the merriment of the main room was the study of the place's current ruler. The quietness of the room and his grim expression was a complete contrast to the other place.

He was very occupied today, but then, he was the ruler of a place. There were many that deemed his attention.

"Yasuhira-dono."

It was his wife…his second wife. Since his first wife died and he was the leader, the woman he married would naturally be able to have the place of the seishitsu. A more sentimental man might decide to make his next wife the sokushitsu to indicate what he felt for the first wife, but Yasuhira was not that type of person.

He would never be that type of person.

His second wife was a complete contrast to the first one. She was both practical and capable; and there were times when he would heed her advice as it happened to be the right one. He married this woman from the Genji as a gesture of peace and goodwill, since her father was loyal to Yoritomo in addition to being trusted by the true ruler of this country. In reality, this turned out to be very advantageous for Hiraizumi as she was definitely an asset.

However…he would still think of the little girl from Kyo who ended up being very different. It was true that she was not as helpful as his second wife, but he had enjoyed being beside her.

However, he did not realise that until she was dead.

"Yoshihira-dono shall be arriving soon." She paused slightly due to considering whether she should continue this subject, before she decided to do so. "Yasuhira-dono, are you not a bit too strict with him?"

"Strict? He will be the leader of Hiraizumi when I die, so of course I should be strict with him. Or do you want me to spoil my child the way that a fool does?" came the sharp reply.

"It is true that most men and women show their affections for a child by spoiling them, but you are different, Yasuhira-dono. You are the very opposite." She said evenly. "Yoshihira-dono's mother is Rurihime-dono, and so he is your favourite child. However, this is what it means to be your favourite child."

"Rurihime has nothing to do with this." Yasuhira said sharply. "The reason that I am strict with him is because he is my eldest son. Who his mother is does not matter at all."

"Is this so? Then will you be able to answer my question now, Yasuhira-dono? Did you love her- your first wife? The wife whom you built that temple for- the only temple that you have built. The wife whose grave you intend to visit now."

Like before, silence was the answer.

Perhaps this was a more revealing answer as opposed to a simple yes. (2)

"Chichiue, I am here." The speaker was Yoshihira, the son that they were talking about. "Hahaue, I did not expect to see you here."

Yoshihira had only been a bit more then one year old when his birth mother died. Therefore, it was only natural that he would regard his stepmother as being like a mother. However, he had been reminded by his father out of all people that he must not forget who his birth mother was.

"I am just leaving." She said this gently before she turned to Yasuhira once more. "Think about what I said carefully."

"Chichiue, were you and hahaue arguing?" The young man asked. "Is this a serious matter?"

His concern was very normal as he knew what his stepmother was like, even though he could barely remember his birth mother.

"…Yoshihira, am I too strict with you? That was what we were arguing about." His father said calmly.

"Of course not. Chichiue, I am the future leader of Hiraizumi."

Yes, that had to be the reason.

"But chichiue, why must we always visit haha's grave like this?" the young man began. "At such a time and in secret too." (3)

"It is not in secret, it is merely because I lacked time to go earlier." Was the steady reply.

"Chichiue…I am sure that you can create time. I almost think…" Yoshihira know that what he would say was extremely foolish, but he still said it as he felt that it was not without truth. "I almost think that you are ashamed of letting anyone know about this."

His father did not have a good temper, yet he rarely gets angry due to his personality. However, this meant that he would defend himself in a very cutting way.

"…do you really have a head, boy?" Yasuhira said after he quickly released his hand on the scroll that he had been reading- the paper was now slightly damaged. When he gets irritated, sarcasm and contempt would creep in his words. "Do you think that I will be regarded as capable if I go to her grave and create a scene by crying like a hysterical woman?"

"I am not saying that! I am just saying that you should not visit the temple in secret! Why can't anyone else know that you go there every year on the day of haha's death?"

"Then that would make her too dominating and threatens the position of your stepmother – "

"Chichiue!" Yoshihira was not a person who would interrupt his elders, especially his father, in such a fashion. Therefore, this actually made Yasuhira pause.

"Chichiue, I am not one of your subjects. I am your son. Therefore, I wish to know the truth. Stop giving me possible reasons."

"…Yoshihira, not letting someone know is not always due to shame." His father finally said after a very long silence. "We are going now."

There was a small pond by the temple and when summer came, it would be filled with white lotus in full bloom. Despite everything, that pond was very clear and the flower would always bloom.

Likewise, the temple was clearly dusted.

Yoshihira was sure that his father was observing everything very carefully and the servants he entrusted this responsibility to would face a severe lecture if he was to discover something unsatisfying.

Yoshihira had accompanied his father on trips to the temples that his grandfather and the ones before them built, and while his father did show the necessary concern, Yoshihira knew that it was only due to his duty.

However, with this temple, it was personal.

"Chichiue…"

"You are very nosy today." Yasuhira said dryly.

There was a time when this would really upset his son, but then Yoshihira was only a child. His stepmother actually had to spent quite sometimes to explain to the boy who was crying in secret, that this was not because his father was angry with him and did not like him, but because his father was just like this with anyone.

As he grew older, Yoshihira would slowly realise that sometimes his father was saying this in order to not answer, or perhaps to not even think about the said topic.

"Chichiue, do you wish to rest beside haha here?" Yoshihira admitted that he was being rather strange today, but then today was not an usual today, and this place was very unusual too.

"Do not be foolish." Yasuhria said harshly. "What does it matter when one is dead?"

"Then why did you build this temple for haha? Why are you so concerned with looking after this temple?"

Yoshihira could not deny that he felt a slightly satisfaction upon seeing his father being silent due to his argument.

"…what would that matter?" Yasuhira muttered as he left his son behind by walking into the inner part of the temple, where the grave of his first wife was.

"Where I would be buried would not matter because I would not be going to where you are." Yasuhira finally whispered this out as he stepped right in front of her grave- which was an hōkyōintō. "I am sure that you are in the sacred lands."

The place he felt that he would not be able to go to.

He was not the type of man who would try to think about what others thought unless it related to defensive issues. However, he could suddenly hear his first wife's voice and he knew that this would be what she would have said to him if she could hear this.

"Then I would wait for you at where you will be. I am sure that it will not be scary if you are there with me."

"…you really are a foolish person." He said and he wasn't sure why he suddenly wished to laugh. Whenever he was here, he often felt that very strange feeling that would appear on this very day. "This is a ridiculous emotion. I don't need it…I don't want it."

Yet he has it.

It was said that if you prayed in front of a hōkyōintō sincerely, then the sūtra on it would be able to cleanse your sin and let you go to the sacred lands when you die.

However, he knew that this would not be possible for him. It was true that he was glad that he did not have to sacrifice his father in order to protect Hiraizumi, but if he had to then he would have made that decision. What saved his father was chance, not his conscious.

Yet why did he kneel in front of her grave?

"…I just have one wish that I could wish for." He whispered. "At the very least…let me see you again, Rurihime."

Notes

(1) Obviously the word is hime because when you use princess it kind of becomes different. But I have to say, I like the idea of being able to call her a princess. I am not sure if Rurihime is a proper 'princess' although she is definitely a hime. But her father is the son of an emperor so…

(2) Also, as he did not deny it, it is a sign of him silently agreeing.

(3) He calls his stepmother 'hahaue', so 'haha' is referring to Rurihime.