"Squidward! Squidward!" shouted Spongebob in his falsetto voice one clear morning in Bikini Bottom. "We have an emergency!"
"What the hell do you want?" asked Squidward in a snide voice. He had been sunbathing until Spongebob interrupted him.
"Patrick fell in the toilet and we can't get him out."
"Hahaha," laughed Squidward. "Maybe he should have put the seat down when he went."
Spongebob gasped, "YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO DO THAT?"
"Spongebob," Squidward sighed. "You're an idiot."
"But we have to save Patrick from….the toilet monster!"
"WHAT THE HELL? THERE IS NO SUCH THINGS AS TOILET MONSTERS! I thought I told you that last week when you were too afraid to go poop that you went in my flower bed!" Squidward ranted.
"Uh, Spongebob," Patrick called from his rock home. "I have poop all over me…"
"TMI, Patrick! TMI!" called Squidward.
The obese starfish walked out to meet the sponge and squid; he was covered in his own fecal matter and smelled of rancid.
"My God, take a bath. Yiccccck!" Squidward said wretching.
"Hey, Spongebob, if we are underwater, how is it we are able to use toilets?"
"You mean we're….." Spongebob began to say.
Squidward finished, "SWIMMING IN OUR OWN SHIT!"