Welcome to my new fic, I'm doing Denmark first because it's his birthday today! Now if you'll excuse me, I'll have to start on Sweden's for his birthday tomorrow.

100 things I, Denmark, cannot do.
1. I cannot invite Iceland for any more outings to Finland's saunas.
2. Norway will kill me.
3. Again.
4. I cannot steal Finland's Moomin plushie.
5. Even if it was super cuddley.
6. I cannot joke about Iceland having no army.
7. (See 2 & 3)
8. I will not mention the good 'ol Viking days within England's earshot.*
9. Even if they were called the good ol days for a reason.
10. I cannot come to the World Meetings drunk.
11. I cannot leave the World Meetings drunk.
12. I cannot go out to the bar with Germany, Prussia, and England.
13. I cannot play Pirate 101 with England and Spain ever again.
14. I cannot force Norway to play with us either.
15. I cannot dress up as a Viking and come to the meeting in a Viking boat.
16. Even if it is totally awesome.
17. Prussia would agree.
18. I should not gamble with Finland's dog.
19. That dog is damn good at gambling.
20. I should not speak of the Kalmar Union within earshot of Sweden and Norway.
21. I should stop thinking about it all together.
22. It makes me depressed...
23. I cannot bring beer to meetings as 'refreshments.'
24. Last time I did, Prussia complained German beer was better.
25. Then I tackled him and turned the entire meeting into a brawl.
26. I cannot call myself King of the North.
27. Even though I am.
28. I cannot tell England's former colonies that the reason America and Canada don't have England's eyebrows is because England liked them best.
29. They will probably kidnap them again.
30. I cannot make a Lego castle and pretend to declare war on the world.*
31. Even if it was funny watching them scream in pain from standing on Legos.
32. They did make me come out two hours later though.
33. I cannot pull Norway's curl.
34. Even if I know what he will do.
35. I cannot hang out Liechtenstein anymore.
36. Switzerland will shoot me.
37. And that is painful.
38. I cannot blow up Sweden's castles on our Minecraft server.*
39. I will get killed with pork chops.
40. And that is humiliating.
41. I will not mention the WWII Jewish star prank within earshot of Germany.*
42. He is still touchy about it.
43. I cannot eat eggs in front of Prussia.
44. He will tackle me.
45. Then Norway would get mad for starting a fight.
47. (See 2 & 3)
48. I cannot play strip poker with America.
49. I think I saw noses bleeding.
50. I cannot joke to Iceland about Norway wanting him to call him older brother.
51. Iceland will attempt to hit me.
52. It will not hurt at all because he has no army.
53. I cannot mention Christmas around Finland.
54. Because he will whip out the Christmas decorations and fling them on me.
55. And then he will start singing Christmas Carols.
56. Living with Finland has made me sick of Christmas carols.
57. I should not let France into my house.
58. Or Russia.
59. I cannot set Lego booby traps in the Conference building.
60. They don't work like the Lego castle, the nations actually wear shoes this time.
61. I cannot call America a cannibal when he asks for coffee and a Danish.
62. I cannot forget that Faroe Islands exists.
63. It's not my fault that he's so easy to overlook!
64. I cannot have an axe fight with Spain.
65. It would have been pointless, I would win anyway.
66. I cannot join America in his Disco Pogo Friday celebration.
67. Even if five other nations were there.
68. I cannot dress up as the little mermaid and pretend to be the statue.*
69. I cannot make any jokes about this number.
70. I cannot maul America whenever he sings Part of Your World.
71. He knows nothing about the original tale.
72. I cannot claim Netherlands stole my haircut.
73. It's not true anyway, my haircut is way better.
74. I cannot encourage Ladonia to take independence.
75. Sweden will stare me down.
76. And that is uncomfortable.
77. I cannot ride a red deer into the World Meeting.*
78. Or anything for that matter.
79. I cannot take off my shirt in a World Meeting.
80. Or anywhere that's public.
81. Japan will probably post his picture of me on his website.
82. Not that I mind, anyway.
83. I cannot go treasure hunting with America.
84. All we found was an old wad of gum.
85. I cannot pretend I'm Godzilla and wreck America's Lego city.
86. Even though my Lego city is way better.
87. I cannot ask Poland if he's sure he's a man.
88. He will chase me around with his pink pony.
89. I think he painted the pony pink.
90. I cannot join in anymore beer contests with Germany.
91. Both of us will just end up wasted.
92. I cannot force the Nordics to cross dress for the 'special occasions.
93. (See 2 & 3)
94. I cannot tell Finland that his fish food thing is disgusting.
95. Even if it is true.
96. I cannot tell England his food is terrible.
97. Again, even if it is true.
98. I cannot not try Iceland's shrooms.
99. I will take this seriously, knowing that if I don't obey these rules laid down will result in severe punishment.
100. Screw 99.

*The Nordics had such great times raiding England's villages and invading his vital regions.

*Legos were invented in Denmark.

*I like to think the Nordics have a Minecraft server where they play around and Denmark just trolls everyone.

*The Jewish Star prank is when Germany invaded Denmark and said the Jewish had to wear the star of David thing, everyone wore the star of David. So the nazi couldn't tell the real Jews.

*The little mermaid tale originated from the Danish writer Hans Christan Andersen. There is a little mermaid statue in the capital of Denmark.

*The red deer is from Denmark.