Fandom: Kuroko no Basket

Rating: T

Genre: Humor/Romance,

Pairing: Aomine/Kise

Summary: When the object of your affection's older sisters decide to stick their perfectly sculpted noses where they don't belong.

Warning: Language not exactly black and white, Shounen Ai

Disclaimer: I obviously do not own Kuroko no Basuke or any of its characters because if I did it wouldn't be about basketball anymore. I also have no idea how "original" I am about the plot since the world's idea bank on a whole is a little dried up.

A/N: A lot of nonsense in the footnote.

A basic rundown of Aomine's current problems: Kise Ponytail and Kise Curly Hair. And a small voice buried deep within his conscience whispered something about mid-year tests of some sort. Yeah, who gives two hoots about that?

"So A-o-mi-ne-kun," Kise Ponytail annotated every syllable clearly, appropriately lowering her pitch as she went. Not just her pitch it seemed as her position and eyelashes went down as well resulting in a somewhat uncomfortable position with her bent over a tanned teenager sitting comfortably on her couch. Never trust those damn six pm soaps. "What rough hands you have."

And Aomine's eye involuntarily twitched. See he's only been to Kise's house thrice, the two times prior having been torturous to say the best. For obvious reasons he wasn't really feeling the third times the charm vibe.

"Yes well I play a lot of basketball." He replied as coolly as possible, which really was pretty far from a cucumber.

"You do seem to like a lot of balls, that much I already know." Kise Curly Hair pitched in sounding extremely happy. It seemed everyone in the family was unnaturally joyful, and beautiful to boot, just check out those racks. Both pairs were nothing short of amazing, perhaps even on par with Satsuki's. Really bouncy too. Yep, he managed to verify that just before getting hit on the head with a foldable chair. Damn why's that idiot taking so long?

"How does it feel to bat for both teams?"

"More importantly, which part of Ryou-Ryou attracts you anyway? He may be drop dead gorgeous, I mean it runs in the family, but why?"

To speak or not to speak, that is the question. Tough question too since both options will have him tasting a little bit of different hells.

"Hmmm you know something," Kise Curly Hair smirked, clasping her hands together. "I've got a brilliant idea!"

Kise Ponytail looked at her sister for a few seconds; they both broke out grinning afterwards. Must have transferred some via BlueTooth. Aomine's future was looking as bright as his skin.

"Great news Aomine-kun! For the low price of taking any order from us from now until you graduate, we will give you a Kise Ryouta Diary. It contains any and all information you would possibly need to know when wooing our little brother! What say you? Yes or Yes?"

Now why did rejecting not seem like an intelligent answer I wonder? With a very reluctant nod of his head, he found a worn-out brown exercise book thrust into his hands. His phone contacts were also updated with two new contacts, My Mistress (Ponytail) and My Lady (Curly Hair). All of this was done in a short span of half a minute.

Kise decides it is appropriate to pop his blond head in now and Aomine immediately scrunches up the book and frantically hides it behind his back as if he'd just bought drugs.

The whole of the day then proceeds as normally as normal can get (sans the couple of times Kise noticed his older sisters successfully convincing Aomine to do something for them. "Aominecchi is mean, why don't you ever help me when I ask?" "HAAH!")

It was already night when Aomine was back at his home, enjoying the comfort of his bed and the safety of his room that he decided he'd flip through the damn problematic book he just basically sold 2 and a half years of his life for.

Note One.

Kise Ryouta likes brightly coloured lingerie. Preferably pale colours with ribbons and/or lace.

(Long)AN: So first off this was written solely to force myself to get back to writing so I have no idea where its headed but this was all done in an hour max (the actual content of course). I also realise I've lost whatever semblance I once had of a sense of humour.

I don't know Kise's sisters' names. I pardon what I've termed them... Since I may be continuing this, I will probably explain my interpretation of them more over time. If I don't I will make a chapter solely titled My Take On Kise's Sisters.

I have not abandoned Makeshift Family just to let you know. And I don't have any fancy schmancy reasons for up and running away but I cannot get it to flow currently so I'll just have to wait on the road until inspiration express runs me over.

I will be more active on now so I will actually start properly doing my Profile, Favourites and Follows and stuff instead of just lurking quietly like a stalker. Whoopdeedoo. Also if you've actually read everything so far, I'm trying to be more social (I suppose) so if anyone wants to be my Anime buddy (Manga works too) drop me a PM and we could Skype or something. Seriously, I don't have any friends. And that concludes my AN that is 1/5th the abomination I've written.