Title: ATM and the ARK Angels of DX: Best in the World
Author: Kaykyaka
Disclaimer: I do not own any of the WWE and TNA characters used within this fictional story. No copyright infringement is intended and no money is being made by this work of fiction.
Ratings: K+
Characters: Shawn, Cameron, Rebecca and Cheyenne Michaels, Amy 'Lita' Dumas Michaels, Hunter Hurst Helmsley, LC Helmsley, Aurora Rose Helmsley, Chyna Helmsley, Trish, Randy and Randy Orton Jr, Melina, Johnny and Romeo Hennigan, Jeff, Stephanie and Elizabeth Hardy, Angelo and Angela Jericho, Vince and Linda McMahon, Kevin, Tamara and Tristen Nash, Adam "Edge", Angelina and Angelica Copeland, Phil "CM Punk", Jamie "Velvet Sky" and Ravine Brooks, Marion Cena, the Undertaker, Garrett Calloway, Sting and Steven Borden, Batista, Kofi Kingston, Dolph Ziggler, Brie and Justin Danner, Alannah Pirelli and Charlotte, Dan and Carla McCool.
Summary: Tristen Nash buys out Ring of Honor and creates a new promotion called BTW (Best in the World).Cheyenne Michelle has to decide between Tristen and her family.
Chapter One - Kiss Her Like You Mean It
The Sandbox, Greenwich, Connecticut, February 2022 9pm
Stephanie paced back and forth on the phone with WWE distribution while the ARK Angels of DX and the Nash family watched the news along with Rebecca Michelle and RJ Orton. It seemed that Hunter's Hair from Heaven was making people's hair fall out all over the country. The news media incorrectly reported that it was linked to My Hair and included Brie Danner in the report but that was soon corrected by Brie's team in Los Angeles who stressed that the tainted product had nothing to do with them. Completely blown away by the mess caused by this product that wasn't even knowingly distributed there was nothing the WWE could say in the company's defense and Stephanie didn't know what to do.
Meanwhile in Jamaica things were a little calmer as Trish assured DX that Hair from Heaven had been tainted on purpose, what she didn't tell Shawn and Hunter is who tainted it.
"I wanna know Stratus, I wanna know who tainted my Hair from Heaven," Hunter demanded.
"Will you calm down? Stop calling me Stratus I've been married to Randy for almost fifteen years, call me Mrs. RKO," Trish said.
Hunter rolled his eyes, "I can't call you that, you don't deserve to be Mrs. Anything right now, in fact Randy should dump you in protest for you once again not telling us in advance that something bad was gonna happen to our hair product once we distributed it," Hunter said.
"You don't even know who you sold your stupid Hair from Heaven to; if anyone's to blame for this it's you. Why didn't you get the name of the distributor before you sold it to them?" Shawn said to his business partner.
"I said I don't remember, I never said I was smart Shawn so if anyone's to blame it's you, you've been calling me a bonehead for months, you should have never let me talk to the distribution people if you knew I was gonna screw it up," Hunter said.
"I didn't know you were gonna screw it up and by the way Trish you still haven't told us what happened to our product, what's with the silent treatment, are you just waiting for us to let you talk?" Shawn asked Trish.
"Yeah I didn't want to interrupt since you guys obviously don't need to know who's behind this," Trish replied and Hunter grunted loudly.
"Randy divorce her now, she doesn't deserve your last name, she's acting like a bonehead," Hunter said to Randy Orton.
"So she should have your last name?" Randy said and Shawn laughed much to Hunter's disapproval.
Trish went to walk away but Hunter pulled her back, "Where are you going?" he asked her offended.
"I was gonna go inside and look for Amy I haven't talked to her in awhile," Trish said.
"But you haven't told us what happened to our Hair from Heaven," Hunter said.
"I've had enough of you treating me like a bonehead, I'm Trish Randall Keith Orton, and I deserve better than this," Trish said.
"I don't remember giving you my middle name when I married you," Randy said scratching his head.
"You didn't but I can't be Mrs. RKO without the 'K' now can I?" Trish said and Hunter rolled his eyes.
"Shut up both of you!" he said and the Ortons looked at him confused. "Why aren't you saying anything?"
"You just told them to shut up Hunter," Shawn said.
"Oh right okay, I retract that please open your mouths and tell us what happened to my Hair from Heaven product," Hunter said.
"Tristen Nash asked Garrett Calloway to put a curse on it, which he did," Trish replied and DX gasped.
"Tristen did this? My daughter's fiancé poisoned our hair care product?" Shawn said horrified.
"Your godson and future son-in-law did this Shawn so therefore this is all your fault," Hunter said.
"He's your godson too Hunter," Shawn replied.
"So this is both of our faults but since I'm a bonehead I should get special treatment, so Shawn this really and truly is all your fault," Hunter said and Shawn went inside to get away from him while the Ortons left Hunter to his own thoughts of which there weren't many.
"Mrs. RKO, I like it," Randy said to Trish who smiled.
"Yeah it really does roll off the tongue doesn't it?" Trish replied.
"Hunter don't you think you should call Stephanie and find out what's happening at WWE HQ?" Randy asked his boss.
"No I don't I'm on vacation," Hunter replied.
"You are not on vacation you are here by order of Judge T Hartmann for the next few months," Trish said.
"Oh shut up Stratus," Hunter said.
"Stop calling me Stratus!" Trish demanded and she went inside to find Amy and Melina while Hunter tried to talk Randy into a divorce from Trish. "She should have told us what was going to happen today and now I'm supposed to clean up this mess? What kind of prophet is she anyway? You could do a lot better Randy," Hunter said.
"I'm not divorcing my wife," Randy replied.
"Why not?" Hunter asked.
"Because I love her you bonehead," Randy replied.
"So what's that got to do with anything, she still screwed up by not telling me and Shawn what was going to happen and now poor Stephanie has to clean up the mess that she made," Hunter said.
"Trish had nothing to do with this Hunter, it was Tristen Nash that set this whole thing up to make you look bad," Randy said.
"Me and Shawn will never look bad; did you not see our Hair from Heaven commercial? We looked awesome Tristen Nash is wasting his time. People aren't gonna stop supporting WWE just because their hair fell out when they used Hair from Heaven," Hunter said.
"Yes they will," Randy replied.
"What do you know about selling awesome hair care products Randy? I've been in this business way longer than you have," Hunter replied.
"You've only sold one hair care product in your entire life and obviously you suck at that, being a pro wrestler doesn't qualify you to do whatever bonehead scheme you and Shawn decide to do because you don't have anything better to do with your time," Randy replied.
"Did you just say I suck at selling hair care products?" Hunter said. "Dude you are so fired,"
"Why am I fired Hunter?" Randy asked Hunter shaking his head at how dumb his boss was.
"Because you said I suck at something, I suck at nothing I can do all things well. This is not my fault, I want you gone by the end of the day," Hunter said.
"Are we talking the end of day USA time or Caribbean time?" Randy said sarcastically.
"Of course USA time," Hunter replied. "What kind of dumbass question is that I don't pay you to work in Jamaica do I?"
"Actually I get paid no matter where we are, the WWE is a global company," Randy said.
"Oh so now we're a global company, like people actually watch wrestling in Jamaica," Hunter said. "Leave the business to me Randy, just go away and tell Trish I'll be there for her after the divorce,"
"I'm not divorcing Trish!" Randy said annoyed.
"You better find some other chick to roll around in your Hummer with, I hear Kelly Kelly is still single," Hunter said.
"Like I would ever date Kelly Kelly again; talk about high maintenance," Randy replied.
"Yeah she actually thought you were gonna call her back after you slept with her," Hunter said shaking his head. "What a bonehead,"
"Totally. I was such a bastard before I gave my life to Jesus, so were you actually but Kelly still thinks I'm a bastard. I guess I could create my own hair care product too," Randy said.
"No one would buy a hair care product from you, your hair is short not long and beautiful like mine, you can't even flip it," Hunter said. "Women like long hair Randy, maybe that's why you're still single, short hair is such a turn off,"
"I am not single Hunter," Randy replied.
"Oh you will be," Hunter said.
Randy bit his tongue and decided he'd talked to Hunter for long enough and he went inside and joined his wife who was talking to Amy, Melina, Shawn, Johnny and the Danners about what Tristen and Garrett Calloway did.
"You were talking to Hunter for awhile, are you okay?" Melina asked Randy. "Don't you know if you talk to Hunter for more than ten minutes parts of your brain start to disappear?"
"That's fine just lay hands on me and get the missing parts of my brain to come back," Randy said.
"Okay but I'll be laying hands on you for awhile," Melina said and Johnny and Justin Danner chuckled.
"Enough making fun of Hunter guys, how much damage has been done by what Tristen did to our hair care product?" Shawn asked the Ortons.
"Not much since the WWE never distributed the stuff the company can't be blamed for what happened and the people who bought Hair from Heaven only have you to blame because of the commercial you did. Since nobody knows where you are the impact of Tristen and Garrett's actions won't be that great. However," Trish explained. "This is just the first of many blows Tristen and Garrett Calloway are about to deal to you and the WWE. The reason they did this was to cause damage to the integrity of the WWE product, that coupled with the fact that you and Hunter are in hiding and Stephanie is insecure about her role as an interim CEO, Nash and Calloway want to frustrate Stephanie so that they can talk her into letting them work with her in the WWE,"
"So they can take it over while the co-owners are trapped in Jamaica right?" Shawn said and Trish nodded.
"But that's not going to happen," Trish said and Shawn sighed with relief.
"See I was right not to panic when Batista called that meeting at Vinnie Mac's house and told us what Tristen and Garrett were planning to do, they're just a couple of punk kids they can't do any real damage to the WWE just because they've got crushes on our daughters," Shawn said and Amy shook her head. "What's up babe, did I say something you don't agree with?"
"Yes Shawn, you said a lot I don't agree with. You of all people should know that the devil always gets access to men through a woman so don't be so dismissive of this "crush" Tristen has of Cheyenne. That crush is his biggest weapon against you," Amy said.
"I'm not gonna let Tristen get me to back down because I convinced my daughter to wait on marrying him and that's what he wants me to do," Shawn said.
"And he will go to any lengths to make sure that you change your mind, or at least Cheyenne does," Amy replied. It was obvious from Shawn's expression that he didn't want to hear what his wife had to say.
"You know Hunter's been by himself for awhile I better go check on him and make sure he didn't hurt himself," Shawn said but Amy snatched his arm back violently. "What on Earth has gotten into you?" Shawn said surprised.
"We are not done talking about this," she said and Shawn shrugged.
"There is nothing for us to talk about, Tristen Nash is not marrying my daughter – end of story," Shawn said.
"Don't I get a say in this?" Amy asked him and Shawn sighed clasping his face in his hands.
"I thought we agreed that Chey marrying Tristen was a bad idea Amy," Shawn said after awhile, "I can't believe we're still having this conversation,"
"There's more to this than those two lovebirds just getting married and you know it, you just don't want to talk to me about it because it hurts you too much to think about what could end up happening if you don't handle this situation right. You could lose your daughter Shawn and you won't even let me try to help you stop that from happening," Amy said and Shawn's cheeks flushed red with anger.
"And I suppose you can handle this thing better than me?" he said. "You think you know Cheyenne better than her own father?"
"You are so blinded right now Shawn you need me to be your eyes," Amy said and she knew when her husband dropped his head and looked down that he was getting annoyed with her, "because I see what's happening clearly, if you don't trust me on this you are going to make the biggest mistake of your life," Amy said and Melina, Johnny and the Danners' mouths dropped at Amy's strong words. "That's the Truth whether you want to accept it or not Shawn but don't you dare walk away from me thinking this is just gonna go away if you don't change your mind about those two getting married, look at me!" Shawn looked up, his eyes brimming with pain, "Do you hear what I'm saying?"
Shawn nodded, "I hear you Amy," he said quietly and he leaned forward and Kissed her mouth slowly. A few seconds later Amy's attitude softened and her heart began to race but Shawn broke the Kiss having accomplished his goal.
"I'm sorry what were we talking about?" Amy said and Shawn walked away with a smile while Trish and Melina rolled their eyes.
"Oh I can't believe he did that again!" Melina said shaking her head.
"What did he do?" Amy asked her sisters in Christ.
"He used his Kiss of Life to shut you up; don't ya'll have a rule against that written in your marriage license?" Melina said but Amy wasn't listening.
"Forget it Mel she's miles away," Trish said.
"But what about everything she said? Does Shawn understand how serious this thing between Cheyenne and Tristen is?" Melina asked Trish.
"No he doesn't but he will, eventually," Trish replied and Melina noticed a brief glimmer of sadness in her husband's eyes.
"Johnny are you okay?" she asked him gently.
"Yeah I'm fine I just hope Romeo stays close to Cheyenne while she's going through all this," he said.
Trish squeezed Johnny's shoulder reassuringly, "Don't worry he will," she said with a smile and Trish hugged him and Melina while Randy noticed Amy smiling at her husband fondly forgetting everything that God had told her to tell him. For her sake Orton was glad that he never forgot a word of it and neither would Shawn.
"You don't think Shawn would use his Kiss of Life on me do you?" Randy asked Trish.
"If he does and you end up like Amy is right now I'm filing for a divorce," Trish said.
"There's no way that's gonna happen, this day can't end with me getting fired and you taking Hunter's last name," Randy replied.
"Then I'd be Mrs. Bonehead," Trish said to herself.
"Trish don't even say it, you're not a bonehead and you never will be," Randy said to his wife.
"Awww that's the sweetest thing you've ever said me Randall Keith Orton," Trish said and they kissed while Hunter came inside and saw them together.
"Looks like they're not getting divorced after all," Hunter pouted while Shawn tore up the letter of dismissal Hunter had just spent the last twenty minutes writing ending Randy's contract with the WWE. "Hey Shawn what are you doing? I was just gonna get Randy to sign that,"
"This is a bogus letter Hunter, you wrote it on a cereal box using a magic marker, and you also spelt "Randy Orton is a bonehead" in big black letters at the bottom, where was he supposed to sign?" Shawn said.
"Yeah he was supposed to sign his name next to that," Hunter said and Shawn threw the cereal box away while Hunter noticed Amy was smiling brightly. "What's up with you?"
"I don't remember anything before Shawn kissed me," Amy said. "It must have been a really good kiss,"
"Yeah I remember when me and Shawn used to make out," Hunter said reminiscing.
"What?" Amy said and she became Indignant.
"Relax Big Red I was just kidding. Jealous much?" Hunter said as her Righteous Indignation began to abate and Amy felt embarrassed.
"I can't believe I got all Indignant just now," Amy said. "I feel so possessive all of a sudden, that's not like me,"
"Dude that is totally like you, this is what happens to you now, in fact this has been happening a lot lately between you two," Hunter said and Amy frowned.
"What are you talking about?" she said.
"You were yelling at Shawn again weren't you? So he hit you with the Kiss of Life to shut you up," Hunter said and Amy's face dropped in disappointment when she realized what had really just happened.
"Shawn put down that cereal box I need to talk to you," Amy said and Hunter took the opportunity to present the cereal box to Randy.
"Please sign here and get the Hell out of my house," Hunter said.
"Number one, this is Patrick's house not your house and number two, this cereal box still has cereal in it, signing this would be a waste of a totally good cereal," Randy said.
"You're right," Hunter said taking back the box, "I should have used an empty box,"
"I think there's one in the trash," Trish said. "Maybe I'm crazy but aren't letters of dismissal usually written on company letter headed paper?"
"Forget it Trish he's already looking in the trash for the empty box," Randy said.
"Hunter get out of the trash and call Stephanie she's probably pulling her hair out right now," Shawn said to Hunter.
"But Randy said I suck I have no choice I have to fire him today!" Hunter said.
"You are not firing Randy," Shawn said and Amy stamped her foot and a tremor went through the house.
"Shawn you're not listening to me!" Amy said and Brie and Justin looked at each other; they'd never seen Amy so upset. "You're driving me crazy I feel like I'm going out of my mind!" she cried pulling at her hair and Shawn Kissed her again before her Righteous Indignation flared up.
"I'm sorry baby what were you saying?" Shawn said and Amy smiled at him.
"I don't know but it was real nice I'm sure," Amy said and she kissed her husband back while the Ortons, Hennigans and Danners rolled their eyes at Shawn's tactics and Hunter called Stephanie and told her to draw up a contract to have Randy Orton fired.