Life's Question Answered?

"So, do you want to tell me what the knife in the electrical socket was all about?" Wilson asked.

"No," House answered.

He and Wilson were sitting in his living room eating Chinese and drinking beer. It was the day he was released from the hospital after his 'death to see if there really is a god' experiment that apparently failed.

"Why don't you do it anyway?" Wilson offered.

"Because I'm watching the girls cheer. It's the Dallas Cowboys cheerleaders, for Pete's sake!"

"We've seen this before. Big Butt Bertha gets let go, Preggers Petunia has a…"

"OH! She landed that perfect! I used to do the Candle Sticks when I was in the Squad…she's got a nice, thin waist on her…"

Wilson turned sharply and looked at House quizzically. "Uh, you were a cheerleader?"

"Not technically, but I dated the entire cheerleading squad, so, yeah."

"You wish! More like you sat back and watched the cheerleaders."

"Okay, now, really! She needs to get her bloomers to match! Pink does not go with orange," House chastised.

"You have to answer my question," Wilson said, beginning to become irritated.

"I have to do no such…she needs to work on her L Motion!"

"I'm really worried about you," Wilson said concerned.

"I wasn't going to die…"

"No, House. I mean I am really worried that you know the names of the cheers." House smirked at Wilson before he drew his attention back to the TV set. "I brought dinner so you have to answer…"

"I had the beer nice and cold already in my fridge."

"I brought the battery for the remote control."

"I've got the TV."

"I paid for the TV," Wilson interjected before House interrupted.

"Lola needs to straighten out her Arabesque; her legs aren't even at the appropriate angle…"

"House, did you do it hoping there was life after death? Because you know, you'll find out one day. You don't have to keep pushing buttons…"

"I'm not pushing buttons," House snickered as he sipped his beer. "There is nothing on the other side."

"Then, since you know everything and you apparently already knew there is no afterlife, why did you do it?"

House finally turned and acknowledged his best friend. "The patient described being clinically dead as being the happiest 97-seconds of his life. He was trying to get that feeling again; that's why he stuck the knife in the socket. He came to the hospital knowing he wouldn't die."

"And you were willing to risk your life for your own 97-seconds of being happy?"

"Uh, yeah. Now shut up!" House snapped as he turned up the volume on the TV. "Chantel is going into the boss's pit…"

"House?"

"WHAT?!"

"Did it work?"

"Did what work?"

Wilson sighed heavily, ran his fingers through his hair angrily and said, "Were you happy?"

House shook his head and said, "No."