Disclaimer: I do not own the characters and I don't own any songs I may put in here:D
AN:This is my first Instant Star fic, but if you really hate it let me know! I don't care if you flame me cuz that makes me wanna improve, but hey I LOVE being complimented :) R&R & enjoy!
Break My Arm
The leaves fell silently and swiftly from the trees, spiraling through the wind as Jude Harrison crossed the street to G Major. It'd been one of those days where she just wanted her head phones, her microphone . . . her music and well her producer. But her producer wasn't there, he was gone. He'd just abandoned her. He hadn't been there to see her sophmore album top the record charts or see My Sweet Time hit number one on the radio. He'd just disappeared. Speed had been holding her close for all this time. He'd kept her safe as best he could, along with the rest of SME. But nothing could prepare her for what awaited her when she stepped through the doors of G Major.
"Oh my god it's so nice outside!" Jude cried as she pulled her jean jacket off, uncovering her bare shoulders in the white and black tank top reading ROCKER. Jude threw her bag and her jacket on the bright orange couch and her arms went around Speed's neck.
"Hey," He whispered in her ear, placing a gentle kiss on her forhead.
"Hey," She smiled back and pulled some hair out of her face before returning his kiss, this one on his lips.
"Alright alright, PDA, that's enough!" Darius said, a smile visible on his face although stern. "Jude you may be eighteen but PDA's are still strictly not allowed." He winked at her, knowing full well what would happen as soon as he turned around. Darius amazingly above all people knew that Jude hadn't let Tommy go. He knew how she felt and he knew why this last birthday had nearly ripped her heart out and strangly enough it really pissed him off. What the hell was Tommy thinking? Not a day ever went by that Darius didn't see Tommy in Jude's eyes, no matter how happy she was with Speed.
Not a day goes by that I don't think of you, after all this time you're still with me it's true
"So beautona, what are we recording today?" Speed and Kwest asked Jude at the same time. They both had been so sweet to her with the recording she could hardly stand it. They were getting a head start on her Junior album so that when she came back from tour it could be out sooner, that and they knew she'd die if she couldn't record for another week. It was her release.
"Mmmmm . . . let's start with Insomnia?" She asked. The words were graphic and there was language but Kwest knew Tommy and Tommy would have fell over flat dead at how good it sounded coming from her.
"Alright, boys instrumental we're starting live today." SME kicked the guitars into gear and began the acoustic while the drums waited for their cue, Jude's voice signaled him to start.
Insomnia
I'm unable to sleep
'Cause you fucker
I can't stop thinkin' of about you . . . You're in my head, my heart, my blood
I'm intoxicated
'Cause of you this is my DUI
I can't see straight, slurred words
Haven't slept in three days!
'Cause you fucker
I can't stop thinkin' of you!
It's like a damn disease
My life is slowly peeling away
I'd love my sleep back
My ability to stand
And I'd love my heart back!
Jude stood up and brought her hands to the headphones on her head, singing louder with more passion as the song wore on.
You fucker, THANKS
Oh but it's in pieces!
You broke my heart and slipped into my mind. . .
Made me believe I'd be alright
ANything else? You've got my heart, my love and I'm sitting in a heap!
All alone and cold . . .
Insomnia
(spoken) You see . . . sometimes I can't sleep . . . 'cause . . . you see (sung loudly) I'M TOO BUSY THINKIN' OF YOU
You fucker!
(cried) You broke me!
Me faded out and then the guitars came in for a solo while Jude repeated You broke me a few more times before the song was completely finished. Kwest sat stock still, that song had more feeling this time around than it had when he'd first hear it and he could tell they'd added harder guitar riffs to make the song deeper.
"Wow Jude . . . . wow." Wallie breathed. They all stood in silence for a moment, all knowing who the song was about. Because most of her songs were about him. They all knew he'd broken her heart beyond repair, and each guy in turn was trying to pick up the pieces for her.
"Thanks guys," Jude sighed. It felt good to let that out. She felt bad that there was more swearing in her new album but she couldn't figure out a better way to let out the frusterations then through explicit lyrics. Although they weren't all that way. She was glad for that.
Sighing she pulled the headphones off, looked at Kwest and said "Kwest I'm going for a walk, page me when you guys get that run through. I need to think." Kwest nodded at her and she walked out of the building without another word. . . but one name on her mind . . . Tommy.
Furrowed brow, scrunched nose and a heartbroken look in his eyes Tom Quincy shut the radio off as he heard those familiar words, Number One on the charts Jude Harrison with My Sweet Time. Atleast he reached to shut the radio off, but as the words filled the station he couldn't bring himself to do it. She'd done it, she'd made it to number one.He couldn't believe it. Shaking his head he returned to the bathtub where his little girl sat playing with her barbies. He and Porshe had a daughter, he still couldn't believe he was a father. He just couldn't. Alissa, she was beautiful and he loved her although it'd been barely a year, but she'd taken him from Jude, from his life mostly Jude. He shook the image of the gorgeous bottle blonde bouncing around in the studio singing into her microphone. He missed her, he needed her. Part of him was missing.
As the song ended he smiled at Alissa. The whole situation that had begun the night before Jude's sophmore album released had happened so quickly and her face had been so crushed, he'd broken her heart and he could feel it. He knew that she'd be making great music for it, but that didn't matter too much at this point.
"Liss, bath's done. Come on babe." He said and held the towel up for his four year old daughter to climb into. He couldn't think of Jude right now. It hurt him, when he thougth of her it was like something was crushing him because he couldn't breathe and when someone mentioned her name well it felt like the sky was falling and he couldn't say one damn word. Liss never mentioned her favorite singer around her dad because of that, even though she didn't know why he acted that way.
"Daddy, ice cream please?" Alissa begged her father as he helped her into one of her father's old t-shirts. Looking at it Tommy realized it was one that Jude had worn while they were recording. She'd been wearing a pair of boxers that she'd bought specifically for lounging, a tank top, and when she got cold he'd taken his shirt off and thrown it to her because they'd been at the beach with friends and no one seemed to care. He smiled as Liss waddled around in it.
"Tomorrow, babe, now get into bed and I'll come check on you in a little while." He promised, kissed her on the forhead, brought the pony comforter to her chin and shut the door along with the lights going out and a pink night light flicking on. "God Jude . . . I need you." He said into the darkness of his Montana home and with that the tears began to fall.
Why can't I breathe whenever I think about you, why can't I speak whenever I talk about you!
AN: I wanted to bring a softer side to tommy and I wanted to show through how the guys did care about Jude and how she was trying to show that she cared but Tommy is still all she needs/wants. As for the songs I'll write them here as they appeared
Not a Day Goes By-Lonestar
Insomnia-That would be ME :D
Why Can't I-Liz Phair
Thanks for reading, more to come soon. R&R
-MRISS