Disclaimer: I do not own Assassination Classroom

A/N: I know I should be updating other stories...I know I will, and I will do so, soon. But I wanted to write another parody, because I like it. This time I write a classic Ansatsu Kyoushitsu parody, containing the most popular types out there. If you dealt with self-harming, extreme trigger warning; I never did, so I don't know how to write that stuff, but I'm trying, I'm trying really hard (no I don't, I just wanted to quote Pulp Fiction again).

Soon I will begin with integrating lyrics of songs into my stories. There are a lot of good songs fitting my writing style, but most of them are...dark. Don't know where to use them, I'll figure it out later on. Enjoy!

Hello! My name is Mary-Sue and I will be your guide throughout this story. Actually, I'm not supposed to speak to you, but I will be breaking the fourth wall sometimes. I bet we will have lots of fun. Anyway, I am an OC by the name of Mary O'Connor. I am a stereotypical American girl, but I am also a pro assassin. I go to the E-Class and have to kill an octopus, because the others suck. And there is a boy who is a trap; he cuts himself all the time. And his mother has blue hair, because this is a fanfic. It doesn't matter that she has black hair. But enough of that, let's dive into my awesome story!

‑

"Hello, Karma.", I said. I was walking up the mountain. I didn't mention it, but our school is on top of a mountain. Why am I telling you that, you obviously know it, because you don't read fanfics of stories you don't know.

"Hey.", spoke Karma. The red-headed devil was like totally hot. I mean, he was steaming. But sometimes he looks like a devil and he loves to torture people.

"Do you think we will kill him today? Cause I totally will.", I said, sounding overly confident because I am an over powered Mary Sue character.

"If you manage to kill him, I will marry you.", joked Karma with a smirk.

"I'll take you up on that offer.", I answered.

"Hey guys, whats up.", said a blue-haired boy. It was Nagisa.

"Yo Nagisa, everything's fine. And you?", asked Karma.

"I'm fine too.", replied Nagisa, thinking: 'If you'd really know...'

Then we arrived at school where we met other persons who attend our class; they all were nice. I guess.

‑

"Nyufufufu~", snickered a giant, yellow octopus. "Good morning, class! Are you ready for another funny assassination?", asked Koro-sensei. I knew he was a assassin once, because for no reason I have access to top secret documents.

"Hai!", said everyone, because the authors know like four words Japanese but have to use them.

After that we started shooting at him, but I jumped at him with my knife in my hand and cut off two of his tentacles. He started to sweat and to stutter and I grinned, but couldn't deliver the final blow because reasons.

"O'Connor-san, please stop!", said the yellow creature with his usual grin.

"Yes, yes.", I said and sat down again.

‑

When we had lunch break, Karma, Nagisa and I sat outside to eat. It was peaceful but soon peace would be disturbed.

"Nagisa!", screeched an eerie voice. We saw a teal-haired woman running up the path. "My beautiful daughter!"

"I'm a boy!", muttered Nagisa.

"It's alright.", I said, stroking his arm. It felt wet. I pulled back the sleeve and saw the cuts. "Oh my God, Nagisa, did you do that yourself?!"

"Yes.", he suddenly cried.

"What do you want from my daughter?", asked his mother angry.

"He is a boy!", I shouted.

"Nagisa is my beautiful daughter.", said his mother with a scary look. I wasn't intimated, though, because again, I am awesome.

"He is not a girl, he is a trap! So please leave him alone or I have to kill you.", I said angrily.

‑

"That was a really short story.", says Karma.

"Yes, but I was awesome.", said Mary.

"I think the author was trying really hard.", said Nagisa.

"I bet he wasn't.", said Terasaka.

A/N: This story is really short, but I didn't feel like writing a lot of it – it just pisses me off. But I included lots of flaws, because it's funny. Breaking the fourth wall, over powered OC, and an OC in the first place. You can't put an OC – much less an assassin – into E-Class without completely killing the story. It isn't Ansatsu Kyoushitsu anymore then. Well, I hope you liked it. If not, that's fine with me. If you did, you're strange.