A/n: The song that was in this, "I Don't Care" is by Savage Garden. It's on the CD called 'Affirmation-The B sides'. It's imported, so don't spaz if you're a fan and you don't have it. Heh heh I had to remove it, but you can go listen to it and think LUCIUS if you like.

O yea. This is about Lucius. The real Lucius. Not the fake evil man he tries to be, hidden under a mask of darkness...

I Just Don't Care

Anymore

By PikaCheeka

The train to Hogwarts. That is where I am. Going to get my son for Christmas vacation. It is a cold afternoon, but the train is warm. Too much so. It is also full of other parents. Parents who are not in league with Voldemort. Faithless...

The faithless are pathetic, sentimental. Unlike followers of Voldemort, unlike me. And yet like me. I used to be sentimental. I used to be shy. Until I met Voldemort. Then it all changed. He wouldn't have a sentimental friend. So I changed, to what Voldemort wanted.

I have spent the last twenty something years of my life hidden. Hidden under a mask of anger and sarcasm. Of hardness and evil. The old Lucius was lost, for a time. Until my son was born. Then it all changed again. Voldemort and his other followers noticed.

He changed everything. For a time, Voldemort regarded me with care. Careful not to tell me to much. Until he was defeated by Potter. But a year was enough, to realize that I was like a normal human again. Too sentimental. The thoughts of this back then were disturbing, frightening. So I changed again.

I had married Narcissa, a shallow yet beautiful girl. Her parents were also in league with Voldemort, and she was too. But she is different, she is not only shallow, but hollow. She doesn't care about me in the least, much less our son. So I took over that job.

Our son was sick a lot when he was young. He nearly died many times. He is still small to show it. Voldemort had told me to kill him. He couldn't have a weak follower. But I insisted. I told him I would make my son powerful.

I was scared of what people would say if they saw that I loved my son. So I hid again. Under that evil mask. My son knew. He grew up to the young teen that he is now, never feeling loved. Never knowing what it was like. Too much like me. Except, unlike me, he does not long for it. Does not long for feeling loved. As I do.

Voldemort has risen again. And I have changed ever so slightly again. My son has noticed. He is confused. He looks at me like I'm a father now. Not just a person. And I look at him like a son now.

And the reason for this is only this. I just don't care anymore. I don't care what people think of me. I don't care if they call me sentimental, not worthy of being in Voldemort's inner circle. My son can not turn into me. Draco can not turn into me. That is all I care about anymore.

A/n- I know some people are going to read this and say "What does this mean?" Well, it's kind of hard to explain. But it means that Lucius is tired of hiding his true self and is ready to give up being who everyone wants him to be and be the father to Draco he is meant to be. Does that fit Lucius? I never imagined him as hard as he really acts. Well, tell me what you think!