Summary: A seven day trip with the Glee club seems like the worst thing Santana ever agreed to and when she also has to share a tent with Rachel Berry, it seems like this is going to be the week from hell but when Rachel opens up to her, and she feels comfortable enough to do the same, they develop a friendship and slowly, something more... PezBerry.
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She Saw Me
Chapter One – Monday: Opening Up
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Santana didn't know why she agreed to this. Here she was; walking through the woods in the middle of God-knows-where with only the Glee kids and Mr. Shue as company. They were going to camp for a whole freaking week. Santana was beginning to regret this. She was sweaty and tired from walking the whole day and knew that she would only be able to shower in the morning. Everyone was happily singing songs but she was far from happy.
"When will we be there?" She asked annoyed for the 300th time that day.
"Only a few more minutes, Satan." Blaine replied with a smile. Kurt slowed down and went to walk with Santana.
"Are you also wondering why you agreed to this?" He asked the Latina.
Santana chuckled. "Hells yeah."
"Have you seen my shoes? They are officially ruined." He told Santana who smirked.
"You knew that this was goin' to be worse than climbin' the Mount Everest and you know that ain't good for shoes, Lady Lips. Couldn't you just wear old shoes?" Santana asked him.
Kurt looked shocked. "Old shoes? Don't you know I throw shoes away after 4 months? I don't have old shoes!" He exclaimed.
"Fine, I get it." Santana said, annoyed. "Gosh, this is so boring. I wish I was at home, watching some TV."
"Ditto." Kurt said.
"Hey, guys, there is the camping." Mr. Shue announced.
"Finally!" Santana exclaimed. "My feet are crushed and I still needs them."
"Yeah, yeah…" Finn rolled his eyes.
"What's yo problem, Finnocense?" Santana asked snappy.
He looked a little bit taken aback, he didn't think the fierce Latina would have heard him and he began to walk faster, to get away from her. Santana smirked, she really didn't like that dude.
Soon, they arrived at the camping site and everyone began setting up the tents. Mr. Shue had a bunch of old tents and it was time to choose who would sleep with whom.
Kurt and Blaine were not allowed to sleep in one tent so Kurt paired up with Mercedes while Blaine and Sam decided to share a tent to. No one was being stupid about it and no one made comments about Sam sleeping in one tent with Blaine which, secretly, made Santana very happy. She still had this paranoid idea that when she would come out, everyone would freak. She always said that she didn't care what people thought about her but actually she did and she was sure she couldn't handle being rejected by her closest friends.
Next up, was Quinn who chose Brittany, which pissed Santana off but she knew that it was probably for the best. She had to try and let go of Brittany who had chosen Artie over her. Off course, the disabled boy wasn't able to come on this trip but they all promised that they would make it up to him. Tina picked Rory to sleep in one tent with because she couldn't sleep with Mike and Puck was certainly a no go. Puck and Finn decided to share a tent and a shocked Santana had to come to the conclusion that she would be sharing her tent with no one other than… Rachel Helen Berry. They were standing in front of the tiny tent they would share while the rest was already exploring theirs.
"Oh, hell no!" She exclaimed. "I ain't sharing a tent with the dwarf! I rather sleep outside. I ain't down with this."
"Santana, this isn't fun for either of us but I think that if we try to at least be civil to each other that we can survive this and also…"
"Stop talking, midget." Santana demanded. "I am not sleeping in the same tent with you and that's that."
Then, at that exact same moment, it began to rain.
"Santana, you can't sleep outside in this weather."
"Watch me." Satana said angrily.
Rachel sighed. "I promise not to say anything to you and I promise not to come close to you, okay?"
Santana frowned and felt that her hair was slowly getting soaked, as was the rest of her body. "Okay fine, but I am just doin' this because otherwise my hair will be ruined."
Rachel smiled a small smile and climbed in the tent. Santana followed her. They both unrolled their sleeping bag.
"Santana, I know that I wouldn't talk to you but… would you please not look when I change?" Rachel asked and Santana raised one eyebrow.
"What makes you think I'd want to look?" She spat, scared that someone had discovered her secret.
Rachel bit her lip. "I just… don't look please."
"Fine." Santana said rolling her eyes while she sat on the sleeping bag, with her back turned to Rachel. She heard the girl move around and then she heard a little whimper of pain. She frowned. When she heard another one, she couldn't help but worry a bit. Okay, maybe Rachel wasn't her favorite person in the whole world but she actually cared for the tiny brunette. She had always had a soft spot for the diva but she covered that up by being an even bigger bitch to her.
"Uhm, you alright, Berry?" She asked, trying not to sound too concerned but failing.
Rachel raised her eyebrows at the obvious concern of the Latina before replying with a stutter. "Y…Yeah."
"I can hear you're lying. I'm way too good at it, not to notice that and you are a bad liar." Santana told the diva who sighed.
"I just hurt myself, it's nothing. It just hurts." Rachel told the Latina.
Santana frowned. "Didn't I just make clear that I can hear it when you lie?"
"Yes, you did." Rachel replied.
Santana sighed. "Can I turn around now?"
Rachel quickly threw her oversized T-shirt on. "Now you can."
Santana turned around and looked at Rachel who sat there, looking at her hands in her lap. Santana, who really wanted to know what was going on, concerned about her friend and angry at whoever hurt Rachel was still not sure about how to get the girl to open up to her without making it seem like she cared.
"Not that I care, Berry, but well, I'm kinda curious so spill it, what is goin' on?" Santana asked in another failed attempt to sound like she didn't care which made Rachel smile. But then she turned serious again.
"How do I know you are not going to tell it to everyone? You don't really like me and it would be easy for you to go tell everyone."
"You can't be sure that I won't go tellin' it to everyone." Santana replied.
Rachel was silent for a second. "If you tell me a secret of yours, then I do because if you go tell anyone, I'll tell your secret and the same happens if I tell anyone."
Santana shook her head. "I'll just deny it, Dwarf."
Rachel looked at Santana. "You can but still, once a rumor is out, it's hard to stop it, right?"
Santana bit her lip. She was not about to tell a secret to freakin' Berry but then again, she did want to know what was wrong. She cared for the small diva even though she would never admit it. She did know that Rachel could keep a secret when it was really necessary. "Okay, fine." She finally said. Rachel gave Santana a small smile. "Now spill it, Streisand."
Rachel sighed. "There are some… guys who've been hitting me." She admitted.
"Why?" Santana asked, hating that her voice betrayed how much it hurt her to.
"I don't know. They just pick on me… like everyone else I guess. I'm lucky they only hit me in my stomach and kick me on my legs so no one sees." Rachel told Santana who was shocked. How did the diva still manage to dance? And to belt out those notes?
"C… Can I see?" Santana carefully asked, how not giving a damn that it was pretty obvious that she did care.
Slowly Rachel lifted her shirt and the dark blue bruises on her belly looked… awful. Slowly, Santana reached out and touched the bruise softly. It didn't hurt Rachel but she still flinched. She wasn't used to Santana touching her and it still felt weird.
"It looks bad, Rachel." Santana said to the other brunette.
"It's been a couple days. If I'm lucky they'll heal during this trip." Rachel told the Latina.
A sudden anger overtook the darker girl. "Who are they?" She asked angry. "I'mma beat the crap outta them!" She exclaimed.
Rachel had to hide a small smile; Santana was sexy when she was angry… Wait, what did she just think? No, no, no! It was great to have a friend that cared about you, yes, that was what she was supposed to think. "Santana, they are three times your size, they are huge. I don't think you could… I mean, not that they wouldn't be scared of you or something but they are really, really strong and uhm well… you would get hurt and… I don't want that." Rachel said to Santana who looked at the diva.
"But you can't just let them beat you up, Rachel! You gotta do something; tell your dads or something, whatever." Santana told the tiny girl.
"I can't. They think that I'm some kind of popular kid, that I'm like… you. And I'm not. I can't disappoint them." Rachel told Santana.
"Then tell Mr. Shue." Santana urged.
"I can't Santana. I don't even know why I told you, I've never… told anyone." Rachel told the Latina.
Santana couldn't help but let a small smile grace her lips but she quickly covered that up. "I'm glad you did because I'm going to make sure they don't hurt you anymore."
"Why?" Rachel whispered.
"Because… because…" Santana bit her lip, should she tell Rachel? Something inside of her let her know that she can trust the little diva. There was just something about this conversation that said that it wouldn't leave this tent. "I know what it's like… to be… bullied."
Rachel couldn't hide her surprise. "You do?"
"I do. I went to this private school when I was younger. I was the only Hispanic girl there and they just kept on picking on me. I got hit once or twice but then, I hit one of the girls back and I got suspended while they never got any punishment. That went on for two years until I transferred to another school where I decided this would happen again, so, I became… me… I guess." Santana said and then she realized she just told Rachel something she had only told Brittany and Quinn. She was surprised by her own openness. She was planning on just telling Rachel that she was bullied for being Hispanic and that would be all. She told slightly more.
"Oh, I didn't know." Rachel told Santana. "Why do you do the same to other people now? You know how horrible it is, right?"
Santana frowned. "I don't do the same. I don't pick on people because of their race, okay I told you to move to Israel but that wasn't about your race, just about your religion and because it was pretty funny, and also I don't hit everyone. Only people who really deserve it."
"But still you are a… bully, Santana." Rachel told the Latina.
"Yeah, well, sometimes you need to do what you gotta do to save yourself, if I don't put up my guard, I'll be the one who's picked on." Santana told Rachel.
"Do you know 'Love song' of P!nk?" Rachel asked Santana who chuckled.
"Uhm, guess I heard it once or twice." Santana told the other girl.
"But what's the point of this armor if it keeps the love away, too." Rachel quoted.
Silence hung in the tent.
"I don't keep love away." Santana whispered.
"Yes, you kind of do. Everyone is scared of you, Santana. Terrified is more accurate but, I've noticed they shouldn't have to be. Just by talking to you, really talking to you these past minutes… I realized, you're not that scary." Rachel gave Santana. "I'm not saying you've gone soft." She quickly added which made Santana chuckle.
"I hope you don't because then I'll have to ends you." She told Rachel with her usual swagger.
Rachel smiled. "Please, don't." She fake-begged.
"I still have to tell you a secret, right?" Santana asked Rachel who looked a bit confused.
"Wasn't what you just told me your secret?" She asked the Latina. Santana shrugged her shoulders.
"I told you that because… I wanted to." Santana admitted. Rachel grinned.
"Really?" She asked the darker girl.
"Yeah." Santana said.
"So, uhm, tell me." Rachel said and Santana sighed. What did she have to tell the brunette? She didn't really have secrets, she just told one and now there was only one that rested; that about being gay. She sighed and told herself to suck it up. Berry had two gay dads, she had witnessed what happened to Kurt and when it came down to it, Rachel was a good person and wouldn't betray her trust. She just wouldn't.
"Well, I'm…" Santana didn't know why she felt so scared and nervous right now. "I'm a lesbian." She finally admitted. She saw Rachel expressions change: surprised, confused and then, finally pride. A big smile spread all over Rachel's face. "What are you smiling about?" Santana asked Rachel, not understanding where the last expression came from.
"You could've made up anything, just to cover this up but you didn't and you told me. I just… I'm proud of you, Santana, for being able to do that." Rachel said.
Santana rolled her eyes. "Don't make a big deal out of it. Bet you are happy that you asked me to turn around a few minutes ago, huh?"
Rachel chuckled. "Come on, Santana. You would never be attracted to someone like me; I'm not even blonde…" Then it hit Rachel about what she just said. Santana looked at Rachel, not understanding why she just said that but then it hit her.
"You know about…?" She asks, not finishing her question.
"I know you and Brittany used to have something, yes. I didn't think you were gay, though. I just figured you were experimenting or something." Rachel told Santana.
"How?" Santana wanted to know.
"I saw you two kissing in the auditorium one evening. I wanted to practice but when I walked inside you two were… getting very close on that piano and I just turned around and left again." Rachel explained.
Santana looked a bit… shaken to say the least. "And you never told anyone? After what I did to you?"
"It didn't even occur to me. I'm not someone who outs other people. I could never do that, not even to my biggest enemy… not that you are my enemy."
"You know I wouldn't have been so… kind, right? I would have outed you in no time." Santana admitted to Rachel who nodded.
"Yes, I know but… I just can't. One of my fathers was outed and it was one of the hardest things he had to go through so… No, it's not my style." Rachel told her 'frenemy'.
They were silent for a while. "I still have to change." Santana finally noticed.
"Oh, you want me to turn around to?" Rachel asked Santana who chuckled.
"No, I'm smokin' hot. I've got nothing to hide." Santana told her friend while pulling her shirt over her head. Rachel's jaw dropped. Santana was pretty, everyone could see that but, man, her body was really the best body that Rachel had seen. Tanned and smooth. She made sure to look away when Santana could see her because she didn't want the girl to get the wrong impression. Soon, Santana was dressed.
"How did we go from a non-talking rule to sharing secrets?" Rachel chuckled, to break the silence.
Santana shrugged her shoulders. "Dunno but… you are pretty cool, Rachel."
Rachel beamed. "So… does that mean you'll stop bullying me?" She asks Santana.
Santana's eyebrows shot up. "Uh, well, I don't know. Maybe when no one's around."
"Oh," Rachel reacted disappointed. "Well, okay then." She said and with that she climbed into her sleeping bag.
Santana felt kind of bad. She didn't really have a reason for bullying Rachel but… still, she knew everyone would find it weird if she suddenly stopped being bitchy to her and well, she didn't want to be known as a friend of Rachel. She sighed and also tried to sleep. It was full moon and in the faint dark she could see that Rachel's sleeping bag was shaking and then, when she heard a sob, she couldn't help but almost hear her heart break.
"Rachel?" She quietly asked. "Rachel? Are you crying?"
"Why?" The small voice of Rachel sounded. "Why do you have to pick on me? Sure, you are not kind, not to anyone but you are awful to me. Why, Santana? What have I even done to make you dislike me so much?"
Santana lay on her back and stared at the fabric ceiling.
"You have everything, Rachel. You have two caring parents, you are the only child so you get all the attention of your parents, you have the voice that can make you big, that can make your dreams come true, you get attention and I just… I don't have that… I have to live in your shadow while we are in Glee and when we are outside of that club, I want to shine and… make you feel… bad. I just… I don't have all that. My parents are all business and I have to take care of my five siblings when I come home, I have Glee club, the cheerios and I try to have some decent grades so I'll be able to make something of my life. I don't have the ability to make it with my voice or the way I cheer, you know? I have to make it with my grades and I barely have the time to study. Those five little brats are a lot of work, you know? You don't have to worry about anything, Rachel… Or so I thought." Santana told Rachel, minding the scars on her belly. "I just can't stand it."
Rachel is silent for a while. "I didn't know."
"Off course you didn't." Santana told the tiny brunette.
"Tell me about your siblings." Rachel gently commanded and for once, Santana wasn't angry that someone told her what to do.
"I have five siblings. Three brothers and two sisters. My oldest sister is Estella; she is 14 so she can help me with the smaller ones. Then, there is my oldest brother Diego and he is 11, Roberto is 7 and Fernando is 4. Two years ago, my mother gave birth to my youngest sibling, Isabella. They are always on business trips and just expect me to take care of them because I'm the oldest. My parents are both doctors and are at work all the time. My dad, Armando and my mom, Allegra are married for about 20 years and barely see each other but when they do, they spend their time making more kids that I have to care for I think. We do go on a holyday every year, for about 2 weeks and then we can be like a family, you know? I always look forward to that. But outside of that, I barely see them. I have everything I need. All the money I could desire but I gladly exchange that for parents that are there for me, you know?"
Rachel nodded in understanding. "I understand. I didn't know your life was so… hectic, I guess I should call it."
Santana looked at Rachel. "Don't tell anyone, okay?"
"I won't, I promise." Rachel told Santana.
"It's just… nice to finally talk about this with someone. I've held it inside for so long, no one knows. Quinn and Brittany have never been to my house. Not that it isn't nice or anything but I just don't want them to meet my siblings because they are all so talkative, they would explain all our problems to them in no time. I just don't want anyone to know." Santana told Rachel.
Rachel smiled and nodded again. "You are… different than I thought you would be. I always knew there must be a nice person underneath that façade but I never thought you would be this friendly. I like it, you know? But I won't tell anyone. I wouldn't want to ruin your image."
Santana chuckled. "Thanks, Berry… uh… Rachel, I mean."
Rachel beamed. "Thanks for sharing all of that with me and not calling me by my last name."
Santana shrugged. "No problem, midget." She chuckled when Rachel's face fell. "Just a joke, Rachel. I won't call you that again… Only Berry when people can hear."
"Okay, I can live with that." Rachel said. "Guess we should sleep now. Goodnight, Santana."
"'Night, Rachel." Santana reacted. They both closed their eyes and tried to catch some sleep but they kept thinking about the other person in the room. Rachel was impressed with Santana, who knew she would open up that easy? She wouldn't betray Santana's trust, she could only hope that Santana would do the same.