Fake Karakura: Logical edition.

A terrible deadly silence fell over the two armies. The forces of the Soul Society and Hueco Mundo faced each other down in full force. Arrancar and Soul Reaper, Espada and Captain, Lieutenant and Fraccion, Good and Evil. Their hands clutched their swords, ready to draw them on a moments notice. The two sides awaited their mortal enemy's next move. A chill wind blew through the town, sending dark robes, and white overcoats flowing in it. Sosuke Aizen regarded his enemy. He was confident of victory, his Chief Servants, Gin, and Tosen, behind him.

Head Captain Yamamoto, the oldest Shinigami to ever lived, gazed at the three traitors. Although he was truly ancient, his eyes remained as keen as they had been in his youth. Though none now lived who could testify to that save him. Finally, with one smooth movement, he drew his sword.

"Captains of the Soul Society!" Yamamoto called in his old voice, harsh and authoritative. "If we are to win this battle, Aizen must not be allowed to fight alongside his Espada in battle!" With these words, he raised his blade skyward, and it burst into a pure red flame. The heat from it could be felt a mile away.

"Turn all of creation to ashes!" he cried "Ryujin Jakka!"

Flames surged forth from his blade, directed by the Head Captains will. They surrounded Aizen, Gin, and Tosen in a circle of flaming death, and forcing the three of them to stand closer. Soon they were hidden from view by the inferno. The Espada stepped away, and the Captain's eyes widened.

Within the circle of flames, Gin Ichimaru glanced at his Lord and Master. "Well Captain Aizen," he said as he looked gat the flames. He was smiling unnerving as always, "looks like the head captain doesn't want us involved in the fight."

"Your powers of deduction are astounding." stated Tousan, sensing for a weakness.

"It doesn't matter." replied the brown-haired Aizen simply, his voice unconcerned. "We will not have to lift a finger to defeat them. They have only delayed the inevitable."

Meanwhile, outside of the flaming trap, Captain Shunsui Kyroku had an idea. A terrible, wonderful, awful idea. He turned to the Head Captain, and tilted his straw hat absently in respect. "Hey old man Yamamoto," he said, a nickname which most Captains wouldn't dare use with Yamamoto. "Since Aizen can't get past those flames without burning to death, why not just close the flames around him. We could fry him and the other guys to a crisp?"

Yamamoto contemplated the matter for a long moment, considering it's every facet. "Though crudely delivered I perceive your point." He motioned with his hand the flames began to close in. "Good thinking Shunsui."

"All in a days slacking sir."

Meanwhile back inside the inescapable fiery death trap. The three captains noticed the fact that the flames were getting closer. They shifted a bit closer to each other to avoid the heat.

Gin looked over at Aizen, his smile fading a bit. "So… I don't suppose you could use the Hogyoku to get rid of these flames. Captain Aizen, because it's getting rather hot in here."

"No, the Hogyoku has yet to fuse with me," admitted Aizen without concern. "so I am not able to match the Head captains power."

"So do you have a backup plan?" asked Tosen.

"I always do." Aizen said as he used Kido to contact Wonderweiss. "Wonderweiss, seal Yamamoto's power now."

And far away Wonderweiss Margara heard his masters call. From all his thoughts of Butterflies and the catching of them, his mind shook free utterly. for he now perceived that the time for action had come. Briefly, he glanced up from where he was sitting over to Yamamoto. There was silence.

"Waaaaah," he said, and with that gem of wisdom stated he turned and resumed trying to catch butterflies.

There was silence amongst the three captains. Aizen chuckled. "You know in retrospect things are always clearer. Making our only chance against the Head Captain mentally useless wasn't such a good idea."

"Really, whatever gave you that idea?" said Gin in disgust.

"I don't mean to disturb your meditations," said Tosen. "but we need a plan?"

"Well, I figure if we start piling defensive kido on now, we can hope to lessen the damage." said Aizen.

"Will that help?" asked Tosen.

"For me, yes, with any luck I should be able to regenerate from any damages I sustain, thanks to the Hogyoku." said Aizen."You, not really, but you might get five more seconds to live."

"What the hell can we do in five extra seconds?" said Gin his trademark smile gone.

"Not much, but you could say some cool last words." replied Aizen.

"How can you be so calm about this?" asked Tosen in a fury. "We're going to die, because you didn't prepare counter measures to a situation that was certain to come up! What the hell is wrong with you."

"Nothing. And for one thing, everyone but me is completely expendable." replied Aizen. "For another, there is no we, your going to die, I'm not."

"You arrogant son of a-" began Tosen.

"Be quiet Tosen." said Gin, smiling once more "We should be working on our last words."

"But-"

Gins smile grew wider "For example, I've got some good ones. Wanna hear them Captain Aizen."

"Sure why not." replied Aizen.

"Bankai"

Before Aizen could react a blade had gone into his back. "Kill em, Kamishini no Yari."

Second Espada Barragan looked over at the falling charred remains of his Lord and Master. His expression was bemused. Once the bodies had fallen from sight, he looked back at the assembled Army of Shinigami. They outnumbered them by double, and probably would be very bothersome to kill. He turned back to his Fraccion.

"We're leaving." he grunted.

"What!" said Third Harribel in surprise. "But Lord Aizen…"

"Has been killed in one hit." finished Barragan for her.

Harribel glared at Barragan "What, are you afraid?"

"Of course not." replied Barragan in and unconcerned tone. "If we did have a battle, I'm certain I would be the victor. However, seeing as I've got my Kingdom back, I want a chance to lord over it, so I figure I'll let the Shingami live a bit longer. Besides I've got all the time in the world to plan a conquest of Soul Society. and I'd hate to accomplish that by using one of Aizen's strategies." He looked over at the Captains. "Since you have gotten rid of that shameless usurper I will grant you safe passage back to their homes."

"That's… unexpectedly generous." said Yammamoto in bemusement.

"What can I say, I'm just a bleeding heart of generosity." replied Barragan. With that, he turned around, opened a black portal that led to Houco Mundo, and went back to his new Kingdom. There was a moment of silence.

Harribel looked over at First Espada Coyote Starrk "Starrk, what's your stance on this."

"…I'm going back to bed." he replied with a yawn, before following Barragan.

Harribel's aspect of Death was Sacrifice, not suicide. So she promptly left with her Fraccion.

There was a long awkward silence afterwards.

"Well…" said Ukitake in bemusement. "That was anticlimactic to say the least."

"I must confess." said Soi Fang with a raised eyebrow. "I would have expected the final showdown between good and evil to take a bit longer."

"Who cares," said Shunsui, "drinks are on me."

Rangiku Matsumoto was shedding a few tears. "'Sniff' poor Gin." she said.

"Oh come off it Rangiku!" said Hitsugaya in irritation. "He was a sadistic, cold-hearted maniac. He only survived as long as he did because he happened to have enough power to qualify as a Captain. In a just world, he would have been executed years ago for his liberal use of Klingon Promotion. The man would have told a cancer patient that they had recovered so he could smash their newly formed hopes. All for his own amusement a few seconds later."

"I know." she said sadly. "I'm going to miss him."

"...If that's the way you feel about it, you can do the paperwork for a week." stated Hitsugaya in annoyance. "With no Saki."

"On second thought I never liked him anyway, really!" said Rangiku, her voice horrified at the thought of going without Alcohol.

"That's what I thought." said Hitsugaya in satisfaction.

Meanwhile on the top of the Los Nochas roof an epic showdown had just taken place. It had been a fairly standard Ichigo fight. Which is to say he was getting his ass kicked until a Deus Ex Machina showed up and allowed him to win. You know, most people die when they get two foot wide holes blown in their chest. Ichigo Kurosaki just gains superpowers. Lucky bastard.

Ulquiorra looked a tIchigo, his green eyes resolved. "Finish it." he said in a dignified voice. "Otherwise you will never get to finish the fight."

"Yes…" said Ichigo. "But I don't want to win like this…"

Orihime looked on the verge of tears, trembling in grief. "Oh for the love of god Kurosaki!" said Ishida. "Are you going to mope about every single villain we happen to kill! I mean, turning the other cheek is one thing, and I know he saved us, but this is ridiculous."

"Okay, fine." said Orihime. "So Ulquiorra may be a nihilistic jerkass, with no regard for the well being or dignity of sentient beings. He may be willing to follow almost any order, no matter how inhumane. but in his defense, he hasn't tried to strangle me or anything the whole time I was here."

Silence.

"Orihime." said Uryu in a gentle tone. "I think you may have developed Stockholm syndrome."

"That can't be right, Ichigo feels sorry for him, and he's wasn't captured." Orihime replied cheerfully.

"That's because Ichigo is a moron." was Uryu's reply.

"I'm standing right here." said Ichigo, narrowing his eyes.

"Yes, it does seem that way doesn't it." said the Quincy.

"Geez, why are you being such a jerk."

"Well it probably has something to do with the fact that Ulquiorra ripped off my arm!" said Uryu holding up the stump that used to be his bow arm.

"Yeah, you should probably get that looked at." mused Orihime.

"I don't see why he is concerned." said Ulquiorra in reproach. "Kurosaki ripped my arm off, and I have yet to complain."

"Guy's got a point." admitted Ichigo.

"He." said Uryu glaring at the fourth Espada. "Can regenerate limbs, I cannot."

"Okay, okay," said Ichigo. "So you're mad at Ulquiorra because he ripped your arm off. How is that my fault."

"It isn't, and normally I would not take it out on you Ichigo, but it case you've forgotten you stuck your sword in my gut! If Ulquiorra hadn't made your Cero blow up in your face, I'd be dead now." he paused. "On second thought, Orihime maybe you should heal Ulquiorra."

"Oh, good idea Ishida-kun, I can use my ability to reject time and space to heal him, I don't know why I didn't do that before." she summoned her fairies and began healing Ulquiorra. There was silence for a moment as they stared.

"So…" said Ichigo. "Why the sudden change of heart."

"It did seem a bit abrupt." said the fourth Espada in bemusement.

"Well, he's the fourth Espada, which means there are three Espada stronger than him.' Uryu mused. 'Much as I hate to say it we could really use a super Vizard if we run into them."

"I don't see the connection." said Ichigo.

"I see." said Ulquiorra. "You wish to find a way to replicate the transformation under controlled circumstances.'

"Precisely."

"What does Ulquiorra have to do with anything." said Ichigo in a confused voice.

"Are you sure that it was not a one-time thing." said Ulquiorra. "You could end up denying yourself one of your strongest fighters if you are not careful."

"You mean…" said Ichigo, realization dawning on him. "Oh, you guys SUCK."

"Oh come on Ichigo, it's our main battle strategy for dealing with superior opponents. We're just making it official. Besides, if something goes wrong we can always have Orihime reverse it."

"You guys are the worst friends ever!" yelled Ichigo.

"Since when did I become his friend?" said Ulquiorra in genuine confusion.

"Just run with it, you're better off, not thinking about it too much."

"Fair enough." said the Espada. "Now, perhaps if we were to make a smaller hole, and have the woman call for help again…"

"Excellent idea." replied Uryu. "Though I believe we should wait till we have secured the are before testing it."

"Wait a minute!" said Ichigo. "Aren't we forgetting something."

"No." said Uryu Ishida, remembering Pesche and Dondochakka. Not to mention several hundred dollars worth of clothing damage. "No, we are not."

"Are you sure we're not forgetting anything."

"Ichigo, I assure you, we are not forgetting anything that we would not regret remembering."

"Yeah, I guess your right."

Meanwhile, Grimmjow was getting rather impatient as he lay in the sands. "Hello." he called weakly. "I'm kind of bleeding out in the sand here. Could someone heal me. Or at least finish me off." No one answered. Ever since Nnoitora had kicked the bucket, everyone had just forgotten about him. He decided to try again.

"Ah Ichigo, if you can hear me, I'd like to say that I'm really sorry I tore up your friend Rukia." he begged. "Please, it would take about ten seconds to end my suffering."

It was at this point that Grimmjows situation became a good news, bad news joke without him even knowing it. The good news was that his pleas were heard by someone. The bad news was that that someone was Byakuya Kuchiki. A man who had made it his personal mission in life to turn anyone who hurt his sister Rukia, into mincemeat. However, since it just so happened that Grimmjow was actually begging for death. Byakuya opted to make use of a different strategy. "Renji," he said to the red-headed man before him.

"Yes Captain?" asked Renji Abarai, saluting.

"Inform Captain Kuroschutchi that I have a prisoner for him to use."

Author's Note:

So as part of my ongoing campaign to update all my earlier fanfics to proper readibility I am going back to one of my oldest ones. Bleach Logical Edition was my first Bleach Fic and the first fic I'd written which got really popular. Unfortunately it is kind of a mess and I'm going to have my work cut out for me fixing it. Enjoy.