When people look at her, they see hair and lips. And boobs. They see a
confident, flirtacious smile on a drop-dead gorgeous face. They see long
legs, barely hidden under a mini skirt. Flip flops, a tight tank top, make
up. Tan skin, perfect hair, a fresh manicure and pedicure. Sex kitten
eyes, swaying hips, diamond earrings. A Louis Vitton purse, perfectly
coordinating jewelry.
They don't see the tears she constantly fights back, the tremble in her lower lip. The hidden pain, the lack of self-confidence. The denial, the betrayel, the depression. The anger, the fear, the misery. The self- loathing, the timidity, the self-blame.
No one sees what she is really like. No one sees how much pain she is in. No one sees how it is all a front. No one but him. It scared her how much he saw into her. How much he knew. How much he could see.
She studied him as he sat next to her, laughing and joking with two of their friends. Of course, he was the one telling the jokes and getting everyone else to laugh hysterically. This had become their lunchtime ritual. Everyday, the four of them got together for lunch and laughed at his jokes. It seemed crazy to her that this time two years ago she never would have been sitting with him. Him, this wonderful guy who made her happy, made her feel special and ok. Somehow he managed to erase all her pain with just a brush of his hand across hers. Which he was doing right now. She looked down at his thumb rubbing slowly across the back of her hand. She smiled slightly, a real smile, realizing that at the moment, she was truly and genuinely happy. Something she had not felt in years. Not since Mike.
It sounded insane to anyone who heard the story, but she had been in love once. When she was only fourteen years old. She had fallen completely, head-over-heels in love with one of her best friends. As it turned out, he felt the same way about her and they began to date. Only to end on bad terms. No one knew the full story. She could never bring herself to finish telling it. She hadn't seen Mike for three years, not since they broke up.
She turned her head away from her friends, scanning the patio area where everyone at the high-class, high-price school at lunch. As she looked around, her heart and breath jolted when her eyes landed on one specific person. He was all the way on the other end of the patio, but she recognized him immediately. It was Mike. She watched as he slowly made his way toward her table, locking his eyes onto hers. She was vaguely aware that Seth was trying to get her attention, clearly distressed that she wasn't breathing correctly and wasn't responding to anyone's calls.
Mike had reached her table. She rose slowly, trying desperately to catch her breath. She couldn't believe. Mike had left the high school after they broke up, for reasons only he, she and his parents knew. The world was moving in slow motion. He studied her face, smiling slightly at the shock and pain flickering across her features. He put his hands in his pockets.
His smile disappeared, replaced with a frown full of pain and torment, as he took in the other three people sitting at her table. One, he recognized as her best friend, Marissa, but the two guys were a mystery to him. He didn't like how happy she had looked with the boy now standing behind her, with a hand on her arm.
He turned his gaze to her. As he spoke, he pulled out a small handgun, aiming it at her, "You don't deserve to be this happy. Everything that is wrong in my life is your fault." He smiled cruelly as her facade crumbled and she began to shake violently. His next words crushed her world, "I HATE YOU!" He fired the gun as he yelled the words. The world was frozen. No one knew what to do. Slowly, he turned the gun toward his own head, "You made my life a living hell. I will never forgive you." He pulled the trigger slowly, and as his body dropped, she regained consciousness, having passed out at the shock of being shot. His aim had not been very good, and the bullet had passed into her shoulder. She watched his lifeless body fall and the tears she had been holding back for years began pouring down her face.
She was vaguely aware of Seth kneeling beside her, holding onto her shoulder, trying to stop the bleeding, trying to get her to talk to him.
"Sweetie? Talk to me, please. Just say something."
She turned slowly at the concern in his voice and looked into his eyes. Those eyes, which always held such joy when looking at her, were full of fear and concern. Tears continued to fall swiftly down her cheeks as she looked into his eyes. She said simply, "I'm sorry," before slipping back into unconsciousness.
"Summer!"
They don't see the tears she constantly fights back, the tremble in her lower lip. The hidden pain, the lack of self-confidence. The denial, the betrayel, the depression. The anger, the fear, the misery. The self- loathing, the timidity, the self-blame.
No one sees what she is really like. No one sees how much pain she is in. No one sees how it is all a front. No one but him. It scared her how much he saw into her. How much he knew. How much he could see.
She studied him as he sat next to her, laughing and joking with two of their friends. Of course, he was the one telling the jokes and getting everyone else to laugh hysterically. This had become their lunchtime ritual. Everyday, the four of them got together for lunch and laughed at his jokes. It seemed crazy to her that this time two years ago she never would have been sitting with him. Him, this wonderful guy who made her happy, made her feel special and ok. Somehow he managed to erase all her pain with just a brush of his hand across hers. Which he was doing right now. She looked down at his thumb rubbing slowly across the back of her hand. She smiled slightly, a real smile, realizing that at the moment, she was truly and genuinely happy. Something she had not felt in years. Not since Mike.
It sounded insane to anyone who heard the story, but she had been in love once. When she was only fourteen years old. She had fallen completely, head-over-heels in love with one of her best friends. As it turned out, he felt the same way about her and they began to date. Only to end on bad terms. No one knew the full story. She could never bring herself to finish telling it. She hadn't seen Mike for three years, not since they broke up.
She turned her head away from her friends, scanning the patio area where everyone at the high-class, high-price school at lunch. As she looked around, her heart and breath jolted when her eyes landed on one specific person. He was all the way on the other end of the patio, but she recognized him immediately. It was Mike. She watched as he slowly made his way toward her table, locking his eyes onto hers. She was vaguely aware that Seth was trying to get her attention, clearly distressed that she wasn't breathing correctly and wasn't responding to anyone's calls.
Mike had reached her table. She rose slowly, trying desperately to catch her breath. She couldn't believe. Mike had left the high school after they broke up, for reasons only he, she and his parents knew. The world was moving in slow motion. He studied her face, smiling slightly at the shock and pain flickering across her features. He put his hands in his pockets.
His smile disappeared, replaced with a frown full of pain and torment, as he took in the other three people sitting at her table. One, he recognized as her best friend, Marissa, but the two guys were a mystery to him. He didn't like how happy she had looked with the boy now standing behind her, with a hand on her arm.
He turned his gaze to her. As he spoke, he pulled out a small handgun, aiming it at her, "You don't deserve to be this happy. Everything that is wrong in my life is your fault." He smiled cruelly as her facade crumbled and she began to shake violently. His next words crushed her world, "I HATE YOU!" He fired the gun as he yelled the words. The world was frozen. No one knew what to do. Slowly, he turned the gun toward his own head, "You made my life a living hell. I will never forgive you." He pulled the trigger slowly, and as his body dropped, she regained consciousness, having passed out at the shock of being shot. His aim had not been very good, and the bullet had passed into her shoulder. She watched his lifeless body fall and the tears she had been holding back for years began pouring down her face.
She was vaguely aware of Seth kneeling beside her, holding onto her shoulder, trying to stop the bleeding, trying to get her to talk to him.
"Sweetie? Talk to me, please. Just say something."
She turned slowly at the concern in his voice and looked into his eyes. Those eyes, which always held such joy when looking at her, were full of fear and concern. Tears continued to fall swiftly down her cheeks as she looked into his eyes. She said simply, "I'm sorry," before slipping back into unconsciousness.
"Summer!"