Boy Meets World
"Variations of Love"
Summary: Love is constant, but so is change. This is a sequel to "Variations of Hope."
Warnings: Let's see. "This contains disturbing themes and sexual innuendo. Parental discretion is advised." That should cover it, I think. If you need more specific warnings, scroll down to the end of the page.
Disclaimer: I own three computers, but no IPod. Also, not these characters.
Feedback: Will cause rejoicing in the land. WickedWonder1979 at hotmail dot com
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"I saw on TV today, there's a carnival this weekend. Can we go?"
Eric looks at Jack, somewhat in surprise. Before, Eric would have to drag Jack to fairs, carnival and the like, although Jack would usually loosen up and have a good time once he was there. "Um, sure. We can go Saturday."
Jack leaps up and gets a battered wall calendar. He flips until he gets the correct month. "Five days from now?"
"Yeah. Hey, what'd you fix for dinner?"
"Me and Merry fixed macaroni and cheese and peas out of a bag. I didn't burn anything this time!" Jack sounds exultant and Eric smiles extra big, to let Jack know how proud Eric is of him.
"Great! Ready to eat?"
They make their way to the kitchen, and Eric listens to Jack talk about his day. Eric laughs as Jack describes seeing a squirrel at the park. "He was so scared, he ran right up the swing set, but 'cause it was metal, he fell off on his back! Merry says it was 'cause he couldn't grip the metal with his nails."
"What did he do next?"
"He ran away fast. I'll bet he was embarrassed," Jack adds thoughtfully.
"Yeah, he probably was." Eric sits down at the already set table. He discreetly switches the position of knife and spoon before carefully spreading his napkin over his lap. Merry's teaching Jack table manners, not that Jack's a heathen, but so he won't get worried in unfamiliar settings, but can concentrate on the similarities at each table.
Eric removes the covers of the dishes, inhaling the buttery scent of the peas and the creaminess of the macaroni. "It smells really good, Jack," Eric says as he dishes up.
Jack passes Eric his plate. "It was easy. The hard part was knowing when the noodles were done. Did you know if you throw a noodle to the wall and it sticks, then it's done?"
"I know now," Eric replies. He laughs as he passes back the now filled plate.
After dinner, Jack methodically loads the dishwasher. "Do you have paperwork tonight?" he asks Eric once the load is started.
"No, I'd thought we could watch a movie if you wanted."
"Cool. Can I pick the movie?"
"Yeah, and I'll get the popcorn." Seeing the utter excitement on Jack's face, Eric gently shoos him out the kitchen. "Go ahead, I'll finish in here."
Jack whoops and runs out. Eric laughs again, and then sobers when he realizes that Jack's running much smoother than he had been even a couple of months ago.
"Okay, I'm ready!" Jack calls, probably already on the couch, with the movie cued and paused.
"Here I come!" Eric loads the fresh popcorn into a bowl and walks into the den. Jack's sprawled out, but he sits up when he sees Eric. He scoots to make room, and they end up in a position they've assumed numerous times before- Eric half sitting up, Jack on top of him, legs intertwined comfortably. "What movie did you choose?" Eric asks, slinging an arm over Jack.
"I picked Dodgeball," Jack says as he hits the remote. He tosses it on the floor and places his hand over Eric's.
They watch the movie quietly, laughing occasionally. At some point, Jack starts stroking Eric's hand softly, tracing the individual fingers. Eric grits his teeth as he feels his body start to react to the touching. Ignoring the voice that's shrieking 'almost two years!' he sits stock still, not wanting to scare Jack by reacting further or making him stop.
"Hey, you're... tense," Jack says, turning to look at Eric. "You relax."
"I'm okay, honey," Eric answers as he consciously tries to make himself calm.
"No-" Jack sits up and grabs the remote. He pauses the movie before curling back against Eric. "I'm sorry," he says, sounding ashamed.
"What? You didn't do anything." Eric strokes Jack's hair, noting absently that he's getting a little shaggy again.
Jack buries his head in Eric's chest and mumbles something. Before Eric can prompt him to speak up, Jack lifts his head. His face is flushed and anxious. "I forgot how to love you," he confesses.
"What?" Eric asks, honestly confused.
"Me and Merry, we were watching Noggin and Sesame Street came on," Jack begins seriously. Eric has a flashback to a time when Jack would have cheerfully died before admitting he even knew Sesame Street was still on. "Grover was talking to a girl about love, and he says that love is feeling happy when you're together, and hugging and kissing. I miss that, Eric."
"But we do that all the time," Eric protests, further bewildered.
Jack shakes his head. "No, 'cause I forgot, but I remember now."
Gently, Eric takes one of Jack's hands and places it over his heart.
"You never forgot here, Jack. Does it feel like you did?" Eric continues, hoping that Jack would recognize the truth in his words.
There is a pause, then- "No," Jack answers. "When I woke up, you were there, and I knew why. It was 'cause we love each other."
Jack's simple statement makes Eric blink back tears. "Yeah, we do," he says softly.
Jack looks at Eric closely. Tentatively, Jack kisses Eric once, twice. Eric is trembling when Jack finishes.
"I remember this," Jack says breathlessly. He kisses Eric a third time, carefully stroking Eric's stomach where his shirt has ridden up. Eric shivers and it takes all of his control not to run far away or pick up Jack and carry him to the bedroom.
A sudden noise startles them both, and they look around wildly before they realize that it's the DVD player unpausing and continuing with the movie.
"Are you still watching this?" Jack asks, never looking at the screen.
"No."
Jack turns off the player and the TV and turns back to Eric. "Merry said I have to tell you so you can show me. Will you show me?"
Instead of being horribly embarrassed about Merry knowing that much about their personal life, Eric sends silent thanks for her handling the situation with her usual grace and dignity.
"If you want me to, I will." Eric gets up and gently pulls Jack up by his hands. "I need to know, how much do you remember?"
Jack looks at him steadily. "I remember being with you, loving you, you loving me. Us just... together." Jack takes a deep breath, brow furrowed. "Did you forget?"
Eric barks out a laugh, thoroughly surprised. "No, baby, I didn't forget." The tension dissipated, he goes down the hall with Jack, their hands still linked.
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The day of the carnival arrives, and Jack is every bit as excited as Eric is. They round up their nephews and niece, who are almost as happy about spending the day with their uncles as the carnival itself.
"Uncle Jack," Torrence says seriously, "if I get scared on the Starship, that doesn't make me a baby, does it?"
Jack looks over at the big metallic grey spinning thing and answers her just as seriously, "No. We should ride together, so we can be brave together, 'kay?"
She nods and skips ahead, singing tunelessly to herself.
Angelo, who is older, just snorts, but he gets in line with the two of them quietly, pointing to something else that Eric didn't catch.
"Are you gonna ride too, Uncle Eric?" His youngest nephew Neil looks up at him.
"Nope. We can go to the big slide, if you want." Eric had checked the height restrictions and it looks like Neil's only going to able to hit the kiddy rides this time, but if he does anything like his older siblings, he'll be tall enough next year.
Neil looks excited at the prospect, so Eric goes up to Jack and the other kids. "We'll be right back afterwards," he tells Jack.
Jack smiles. "And if you're not, we'll wait right here. Promise." He looks so earnest, that Eric smiles too.
"I know you will, honey. Have fun." With that, Eric scoops up Neil and heads over to where the slide is.
One very exhausted day later, they walk to the car. Neil is in Jack's arms, fast asleep. Torrence and Angelo are quietly talking about their ride tally while finishing their last bits of cotton candy.
"Did you have fun?" Jack asks, looking over at Eric.
"Sure did. I'm glad the carnie let Neil ride with us on the Tilt-A-Whirl. I didn't want him to feel left out."
"Yeah." Jack nods, and looks briefly serious and gives Eric chills. Then he smiles sunnily. "So, next year, we can do this again?" He sounds honestly amazed at the prospect, like having this much fun could never happen twice.
"We will. Will you guys come with us?" He raises his voice so that the kids hear. They cheer, even Neil, who cracks one eye open to see what's going on.
"Good." Eric feels like saying something else, but he doesn't. He just puts his arm around Jack, squeezes briefly, and celebrates his life.
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Let's see. The specific warning is- this contains implied 'relations' between the Jack and Eric of this world, that is, a Jack that has been mentally damaged. This does not mean anything other than what I just stated. If you can't handle the thought of that, abort, abort!
Ahem. Thanks to the Indiana State Fair, All My Children, and the Rockafire Explosion.