Hello this is my first Hellsing fic so no flames or anything like that. I decided to write a humor fic (cause it's fun to write them) well any ways I have a more serious story in the works but I don't know if I'm going to post it or not yet. Originally I had another idea for the first chapter but I can't think of an ending yet and this weird idea hit me. Read review no flames…
Fools Come out at nightCh 1 to kill a vampire… well at least try too.
"Dracula!" called AndersonAlucard stopped walking. "You again?"
"Plaguing the innocent with your evilness again?"
"No Integra sent me to buy her candy."
"Oh… well I'm still stopping you!"
"From buying chocolate?"
"Yes! Wait I mean no! I'm stopping your demonic ways."
"I'm not even killing anything."
"I don't care! I just don't like you."
"Yeah I kind of noticed that…"
He pulled out his bayonets from where ever he keeps them. "I'll kill ya!"
"We've been over this a hundred times Anderson your knives are not going to kill- me!" he yelped as he charged at him cutting him to pieces.
He laughed like the mad man he is.
Alucard merged back together. "See."
He growled. "Wait right here I have the perfect weapon." He ran off then came back with a missile launcher.
"Still won't kill me."
bam
It blew a big hole in him but he formed back together. "Told you."
"Damn!" he ran off then came back with a tank.
"No."
bam
He lived through that as well.
This really pissed Anderson off. He ran off again and came back with a nuclear weapon.
"That might hurt a little bit."
bam
"No that only tickled."
Anderson was ready to pull his hair out. "Wait I know." He charged off.
Alucard stood there for about five minutes.
"You'll never survive this." He said standing to the side. "Fans."
"Fans?"
"We love you Alucard!" called one fan.
"Please sign this for me!" called another one.
"AHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!" screamed Alucard running the fans followed him.
Anderson chuckled as he watched the fans chase Alucard around. "That'll learn ya."
Read review no flames please. Next chapter coming soon.